


First and Last

by twdeadfanfic



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Smut, POV Daryl Dixon, Slow Burn, veeery slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:26:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 94,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22772494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twdeadfanfic/pseuds/twdeadfanfic
Summary: There’s only one girl that Daryl has ever fallen in love with, the one who had to leave him and break both their hearts, and the one he’d tried his best to erase from his memory so it wouldn’t hurt that bad. There’s no way he could have guessed that he’d find her again, more than seventeen years later, after the world went to shit and the dead began walking, both their lifes different that what they used to be.Sequel to my mini-series “The first to blow your mind.”  You can read it before this or after it as a prequel. Daryl’s POV. My usual combo of slow-burn, fluff and angst, but there’s also some light smut. Some canon divergences.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon & You, Daryl Dixon & reader, Daryl Dixon/Reader, Daryl Dixon/You
Comments: 97
Kudos: 121





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I loved writing "The First to Blow your Mind" and I hated breaking Daryl's heart at the end, so I knew I had to write an apocalyptic series and there it is. I hope you all like it as much as I loved writing it.

Daryl didn’t like this. He didn’t like it at all. He couldn’t put his finger on why he didn’t, though. Alexandria was heaven in that deadly world they now lived in. It was safe, it had sturdy walls, food and shelter. Yet Daryl didn’t like it, he couldn’t help but feel on edge, his body urging him to run away from the place.

It was too good. There had to be something hidden, something dangerous in that Alexandria heaven. It wouldn’t be like that Terminus place, maybe the people in there might not try to turn them into food, but it couldn’t be as good as it looked. They couldn’t trust it, no matter the people in there seemed weirdly harmless and even a bit helpless to have survived the harsh world.

Aaron, though, the man who had found them and brought them to Alexandria, and his boyfriend Eric…they didn’t seem that bad, they didn’t make Daryl feel like they were hiding something. But he couldn’t be sure. Their leader, though…Daryl didn’t know what to think. He hadn’t liked that stupid interview he had to do with her, feeling out of place and uncomfortable as shit. He didn’t trust her and yet he couldn’t really say that she was planning something to harm his people in some way.

Daryl knew they needed this, though. They had lost their home and most of their people, because he hadn’t been able to find and stop the Governor. Then he managed to find his family again but lost Beth, let the girl die, broke her sister’s heart again. They had been wandering since then, looking for shelter, another place where they could stay, finding nothing but death until now, until Aaron took them to Alexandria. They were dehydrated, unable to find water anywhere. They were starving as he’d been barely able to find anything to eat.

So, yes, they needed the place, strange or not. They had a baby with them, Judith needed it, the shelter, and the food, and the water, the protection, everything. The kid too, Carl. They deserved it. And so they would stay.

That didn’t mean Daryl liked it.

If he was honest, it wasn’t only him not trusting the place. It had more to do with how everything and everyone looked. Everything was too perfect, untouched by the world outside the walls. Big, expensive-looking houses, perfect green areas…it made him uncomfortable. The same happened with the people. They looked perfectly put together, as if they belonged in those houses, as if they had never stepped foot outside. They looked like the kind of people who’d take a look at Daryl, shake their heads and murmur their bullshit, or who’d laugh at him aloud, the kind of people who’d think him a good for nothing, who’d despise him.

It had been like that his whole life, in his old town, with people looking at him like that and gossiping their bullshit. Then in that quarry where he first met some of the people who were now his family…but he was painfully aware of what they had thought about him at the beginning, he knew the way in which they had looked at him, in a similar way that the people in his town did…these Alexandria people, they kind of looked at him like that too.

Daryl didn’t care. Screw them. He had never cared. Let people talk and gossip all the shit they wanted…Yet he felt self-conscious and uncomfortable, he couldn’t help it, he felt all eyes on him, he could almost hear their thoughts…he felt like crawling out of his skin, like running away…But the baby and the kid needed this, they deserved it, and his family needed it. Rick had decided they’d stay, and so Daryl’d deal with it.

Once all the interviews were finished and Deanna announced she allowed them to stay, she explained they’d be given housing, clothes, and food. But first, they had to give up on their weapons if they wanted to be allowed to stay in there, and so they were lead to a storeroom in which they had to leave their weapons in custody, the woman working there assuring them she’d take care of them and to not worry, Alexandria was safe and they wouldn’t be needing the guns.

Daryl didn’t like it, but as he looked around he realized nobody seemed to be carrying. They must be really sure of their safety, or they must be really stupid. After a bit of Rick and Maggie going back and forth with Deanna, they gave up their firearms but were allowed to keep their knives as long as they didn’t carry them outside the house they were going to be given. Daryl was also allowed to keep his crossbow…he didn’t know how he’d have reacted if they had tried to take it away, but the idea of being in there unarmed made him feel uncomfortable…and like punching someone. He hated it.

They were there, waiting to be lead to their assigned houses, when Daryl heard a voice that made him feel something…something strange. “Okay then, Jessie’s going to bring them clothes and all that, and I’ll put together a box with food for them.” That voice…it was strange, but it made him feel…weird. He thought he’d heard that voice before, somewhere, but he couldn’t really remember, couldn’t place it, it was like chasing the memories of a dream after you wake up…

He turned around followed the voice, finding two women talking, but he instantly focused on just one of them. It…it couldn’t be…he wasn’t sure…there was again, that feeling of chasing images from a dream, of trying to remember something that wasn’t there anymore… Then the woman looked at him and he could see the same feelings in her eyes as she frowned, seeming to study him, slowly walking closer and then blinking at him, seeming confused and surprised.

“Daryl…Daryl Dixon…is you, isn’t it?” She was closer now, next to him, and her voice and face took Daryl seventeen years back or so, to a clear in the woods near his town and a girl sat down next to him singing. “But…it can’t be…how…it’s really you?”

Daryl could just stare at her, unmoving and silent, until his brain seemed to work again. “Y/N?” But…but she was right…it couldn’t be…it didn’t make sense…

“Yeah…yeah it’s me…and it’s really you…” The woman grinned and the ghost of a feeling he barely remembered anymore went through him at the sight, his mind taking him back again to a girl grinning to him while he told him about some book he’d read. “How?”

Daryl couldn’t say anything, though. Couldn’t do anything that wasn’t looking at her as memories and feelings that he had kept locked somewhere threatened to break free. Y/N. She was…she’d been his friend, when he had no one else. She’d been more than that. She’d been the first woman Daryl had fallen in love with, and the only one.

The one who left, whom he let go, for her own good, even if it meant breaking both their hearts. The one who, after she left, Daryl hadn’t been able to think about without crying as he felt his heart being ripped out of his chest. The one he’d tried so hard to forget, the one he hadn’t allowed himself to think about in years and years…

And there she was now, in the same place than him more than seventeen years later, after the apocalypse, after the dead took over the world. It didn’t make sense. Daryl wondered if he wasn’t asleep and dreaming. Or unconscious. Maybe he’d passed out from lack of food and water and he was hallucinating this whole thing, Alexandria and the girl…

It felt real, though, and there she was, looking at him, her grin gone and a frown on her face now, yet Daryl couldn’t say anything, couldn’t move, couldn’t make sense of what he was feeling, could barely even form a thought.

“I…I guess you need…I mean, you all… need time to…yeah, to adapt to this…to process it all…” Y/N blinked at him but then she looked around at the others, before her eyes focused back on Daryl as if she couldn’t help it. “So…yeah…” She seemed a bit confused and at loss of words too, but Daryl couldn’t do anything. “This is Laura, she…she’ll walk you to your new houses…and…yes…”

Before Daryl could say or do anything, could realize what was happening, they were being walked away and his feet were moving on their own accord to follow his family, though he looked back at the girl…the woman. Y/N. It seemed like she was forcing herself to walk away too, but she was too looking at him. Their eyes met and those ghost feelings came back, those elusive memories getting stronger and stronger. Then someone approached her to speak and he had to keep walking.

He barely heard anything of what the people walking them to the houses told them, barely anything of what Rick said, barely looked at the houses they were given. Y/N…how could it be? How could she be there? It didn’t make any sense. He didn’t know how he felt.

“Daryl?” Rick’s voice got through his dumbfounded state. “Who was that woman before?”

For a few seconds, Daryl couldn’t speak, which made Rick frown, but then he managed to kick himself into action. “She…she was someone I knew from before…from my town…” She was that and so much more.

“Could she be dangerous? A threat?” Rick asked, as if he too were still suspicious of the place and its people. “Anything we have to worry about?”

“What?” Y/N was the furthers thing from that…but that had been more than seventeen years ago after all…still, the words ‘Y/N’, ‘threat’, and ‘dangerous’ didn’t seem to want to mix in his mind, it just didn’t feel right. “No…no, I don’t think so. She was…she was a friend.”

“Yeah?” Rick frowned, seeming confused and surprised, which just made Daryl feel more awkward, rubbing him the wrong way.

“You think I didn’t have friends of what?” He snapped, he couldn’t help it…it wasn’t that far from the truth, he’d always mostly had just his brother…but then…then he’d also had Y/N…more memories and feelings came to him and he wasn’t sure if he welcomed them or not.

“No but…I don’t know man, you didn’t seem happy to see her.” Rick shrugged.

“I wasn’t expecting to see someone seventeen years later in this bullshit of a place,” Daryl snapped, turning to walk away and back to the porch of the house, a house that didn’t look real, as if someone had taken it from a magazine…nothing made sense in that place, and Y/N being there made even less sense.

Rick’s words echoed in his mind…wasn’t he happy to see her again? To find her after the world ended? To find that she was alive, she had made it? He…yeah, sure, he was glad Y/N was alive, of course he was. But he wasn’t sure of what he was feeling. He hadn’t said anything to her…maybe Y/N now thought that he didn’t like to see her again, or that he didn’t care? Even though he couldn’t make sense of his feelings, he knew he didn’t like the idea of her thinking that. Or maybe…maybe it was her who wasn’t happy…who didn’t care… It hurt, even with that mess of feelings going through him, it hurt.

But the girl from Daryl’s memories, she always smiled when she saw him, that grin he had fallen in love with, always seeming so happy to see him…he knew, even seventeen years later, that she had cared for him. Maybe the memories were blurry, some more clear than others, but he did remember that…and how she’d made him feel.

He remembered too now, painfully well, the last time he had seen her. Her eyes full of tears as she begged him to ask her to stay with him, she saying goodbye before disappearing from his life on a bus when he didn’t say anything… He hadn’t thought about that, hadn’t allowed himself to do so, in years and years, but as he did now, pain shot through his heart as if it had been the week before. The night before that…that night when she kissed him and they slept together…he didn’t want to think about that. Had tried to erase it from his mind because no matter it was one of his best memories, it was too one of the worst…it hurt too much…and it came back now…

Daryl felt a lump in his throat, felt dangerously close to tears. He felt like a weak idiot. He didn’t want to think about it, he didn’t want to remember it, he had managed to push it back and forget for years…but now she was there, miraculously so, and it didn’t make sense, and Daryl didn’t know how he felt, didn’t know what to do, but he was overwhelmed by feelings he couldn’t even place or understand…

“Hey…” Carol’s soft voice took him back from that spiral of troubled, confusing feelings. “Don’t want to come in with everyone?” Daryl shook his head, he didn’t like the house, he didn’t like the place, he didn’t like how he felt. “Okay.” Carol sat down next to him on the stairs. “That woman…so, she was just a friend?”

“What you mean?” He snapped.

“Nothing… just…nothing.” Carol gave him a soft smile. “You don’t want to go talk with her, then?” Daryl shrugged, he didn’t know. “It’s okay, I’m sure it must be a shock. Give yourself time.” Carol squeezed his hand and got up, and Daryl looked at her.

“I just…I…” Daryl tried, but he couldn’t find words. “I don’t know.”

“It’s okay.” She gave him a smile again. “Take your time. But maybe talk to her when you are feeling better.”

Daryl was still sat down on the stairs when Y/N approached the house carrying a box. She spotted him on the stairs and looked at him in wonder, as if she too couldn’t believe this was real, but a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. Daryl, though, could barely look at her, he didn’t know why.

“You still got it…” She murmured, looking at his crossbow with the ghost of a smile on her face, and Daryl didn’t know what to say, so he just looked down. “I…I bring you all some food, I’ll show you the storeroom when you’re ready, but this should last you for some days…”

“I can hunt my food.” Daryl didn’t know why he was snapping all the time, but he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t like the place, their houses, their clothes, and their food, he didn’t trust it or understand it, he couldn’t help it…and the way in which seeing Y/N made him feel, those turbulent feelings that shook him…he felt like running away, he didn’t know what to do.

“Yeah…yeah I know…” Another smile tugged at the corner of Y/N’s mouth as she nodded, looking at his crossbow again, her eyes soft bus sad, and he wondered if she remembered how just the day after they met for the first time, she had gone with him while he hunted…she’d been upset when he killed a rabbit, he remembered it now. “But it’s good to have food supplies too, so…yeah…”Y/N chewed on her lower lip, seeming a bit unsure of herself, before the door opened and Daryl heard Carol’s voice.

“Hello?”

“Hi there…I’m Y/N, I’m bringing you a box with some food and supplies, but feel free to go see hour storerooms and pantry, and I’ll tell you about our system and all that.”

“Thank you, Y/N, I’m Carol, it’s good to meet you.”

“It’s good to meet you too…” Y/N sounded nervous, though, Daryl could hear it in her voice. He wondered if that Alexandria place took in many people or if this was an exception…It would explain why people kept looking at them like that… But at him, though, he knew why they looked at him in a certain way, they had done it in the world before too. Y/N, though…she never did it, she used to look at him in a way that Daryl had never seen before, in a way that…that he didn’t know if he wanted to remember.

“Daryl told us you are an old friend?”

“Yeah…but we hadn’t seen each other in…I don’t know, seventeen years? Maybe more…it’s unbelievable…”

“It’s incredible, yes, but wonderful, isn’t it? I’m sure you two have a lot to catch up.”

“Yeah…” Y/N sounded unsure, though, and Daryl wondered if maybe she didn’t want to…he didn’t like how that made him feel, even though he wasn’t sure if he wanted it or not. “Daryl?” She called for him and Daryl looked at her, but couldn’t say anything. “Could we…would you mind…can we speak?”

Daryl opened his mouth but nothing came out of it, he just stared at her in dumbfounded, confused silence, and so Carol spoke for him. “Please, do so! I’ll leave you two alone to speak, I still have a lot to sort inside!” Daryl could hear in Carol’s voice that she was being overfriendly and over-cheerful, he felt she’d been like that since arriving at Alexandria, as if she was playing pretend, he didn’t know why. But he too knew that Carol cared for him and probably she genuinely wanted him to speak with an old friend…he didn’t know if thank her or not, still feeling like running away.

Carol closed the door, disappearing inside, leaving them both alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Y/N seemed unsure, but then she made his way to the stairs, she fidgeted and then sat down next to him at the other end of the step. She was looking back at the door Carol had disappeared through, and Daryl finally took time to look at her. She looked like a grown-up woman now, but he could also see the girl he had known in her…he still didn’t know how it made him feel. He was still so beautiful, he always thought she was such a pretty girl.

“Is she…she’s your…” Y/N began to ask, looking at the door, but she trailed off before finishing her question and Daryl frowned, wondering what she was thinking, but he forced himself to speak.

“Best friend,” he rasped, feeling a strange need to tell her about the people who were now so important to him, the family he was proud and grateful to have become part of. “Family. They’re family now, known them for a long while, most of them.” He nodded at the door. “We survived together.”

“And Merle?” Daryl hadn’t expected that, and hearing his brother’s name made his heart hurt badly again. Those were memories he did his best to push down too. But the girl had known his brother, after all, the only family he had back then. Besides her.

“Gone.”

“I’m sorry…” It seemed she was going to reach out for him, but she stopped herself. “I just…how is this real? I can’t believe it…” She had again that look of wonder in her eyes and a small smile on her face. “How can we find each other more than seventeen years later after the world ended?” It was like she was echoing his thoughts but he couldn’t say anything. “I’d say it’s a miracle if I believed in those things.”

Daryl nodded, but still couldn’t say anything.

“I…I don’t know, it doesn’t feel real but I’m so, so happy to see you Daryl…” Her smile widened into a full grin and Daryl looked down as a new wave of memories and feelings went through him. “But…yeah…I…I understand…seventeen years is a long time so…so I understand if maybe…well, if you…” Daryl wasn’t sure of what she was trying to say, maybe not even Y/N herself knew, but it sounded like she thought he didn’t like to see her, didn’t want to talk to her… It made him felt all kind of awful, prompting him into speaking.

“It’s good to see you too.”

“Yeah?” Her smile was gone and she looked worried and unsure, a look he had hated on her before and that he seemed to still hate now.

“Yeah,” he assured her. It was confusing to see her, it stirred things inside him that he had thought long forgotten, mostly painful things, but that didn’t mean that seeing her wasn’t good, that he wasn’t glad she was alive and there, even if it felt weird and damn surreal “Just…it’s…”

“Strange? Surreal?” She finished for him, once again like an echo of his own thoughts, her lips curling into a smile again, and Daryl found his own lip twitching up as he nodded.

“Yeah.”

“It’s surreal to find you here, to see you again, but you being alive…that isn’t. When all this nightmare started and I didn’t know what to do, I thought I was going to die…and I thought back to you, ‘if someone’d survive this, tbeen sure she wouldn’t have thought about him any more during those seventeen years. He hadn’t…he hadn’t allowed himself to do so because it hurt too much and all he wanted was to forget, though sometimes he hadn’t been able to stop himself, but he always forced himself to push down the memories, and over time, it became easier and easier. He hadn’t thought about her when the apocalypse started, he’d just thought about finding his brother and getting the hell out of an infested town.

He didn’t know what to say. But he knew he had to say something. He had felt like that the first couple of times he met her too, like he didn’t know what to say yet knowing he needed to say something in order to be her friend…

“How did you end up here?” Had Aaron found her wandering outside too?

“I’ve been here almost since the beginning. My friend Nora, his husband Robert had worked here building the place, he knew that this was a sustainable place where someone might be able to live after everything else fell apart outside, it could power itself and all that, and so he told us to come here. We weren’t the only ones who thought that, and so yeah…there we are. Robert and some others helped Deanna’s husband build the walls, and here we’re since then…”

Daryl remembered Y/N had a best friend in the city to whom she had gone when she left, but he didn’t remember the name, he guessed it might be Nora. “Nora, is that your friend from the city?” It was weird to word it like that now, but Y/N nodded. “So you’re here with her and her husband?” It was a good thing, he guessed, that she hadn’t had to survive alone.

“She…she didn’t make it…died before arriving here…those things got her…” Y/N looked down, smile gone and eyes wet, and Daryl knew he must have guessed it…that was how the world worked now.

“I’m sorry…” he muttered.

“Yeah, well…” Y/N rubbed her eyes and gave him a smile again. She used to smile easily, back then. It seemed she still did, despite all. “And you? Like…everyone’s talking since you all arrived, it caused quite a commotion…”

“I don’t care what they talk,” Daryl snapped, couldn’t help it, and Y/N frowned.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way, Daryl…just…it’s been a while since Aaron found someone, and he’d never brought in a group this big, and you all look…” She stopped as if looking for the right words and Daryl gritted his teeth. Looked like what? He tried to make himself ready for the worst. “Like…I don’t know, warriors or something.”

Daryl blinked at her, totally taken aback and dumbfounded. “What?”

“I don’t know…” Y/N shrugged, blushing red as if embarrassed, and Daryl found himself almost smiling at it. Weird. “You came in here walking in full formation, looking like…that.” She waved a hand in front of him and Daryl still didn’t know how he looked like, but when Y/N said it, somehow he felt less self-conscious. “Carrying more firearms that I’ve ever seen, even more than what Aiden’s group take when they go out on a run…Aaron saying things about you all like if you all were professional survivors or something, coming here to save the place despite you all kind of looking dangerous…and…I don’t know…”

“We ain’t dangerous.” They were, though, he was. But he would never hurt Y/N in any way, no matter he hadn’t seen her in seventeen years. His people wouldn’t hurt her, they wouldn’t be dangerous for her.

“I kind of think you are…” Y/N said quietly. “But if that means you’re gonna help make Alexandria even safer, then that’s good, you know.” She grinned at him, taking Daryl seventeen years back again, and somehow his heart did a somersault at the same time that it felt like being pierced by a bolt.

“Yeah, that’s…”Daryl tried to speak, tried to stop the weird feelings. “That’s what Aaron said.”

The man had said Alexandria was always looking for people who could help improve the place. Looking around at the place and the people, Daryl guessed they might not be as used to the world as it was now, outside the walls. So maybe Y/N was right and they were in there for protection or some shit. He wasn’t sure he was on board with the idea…but part of him, a loud and annoying part that he couldn’t silence, told him he was very much on board with protecting Y/N, as he had wanted to do seventeen years back, no matter he hadn’t seen her since then.

“Anyway…I…I’m happy to see you Daryl, no matter what…and if it took the end of the world for us to meet again, then well…it’s…it’s strange I know, but…well, I’m glad, and… I mean, not glad about the end of the world, glad about meeting you again, and…” Daryl wondered if Y/N had always sounded that hesitant and unsure…maybe…did she felt like him too? All that mess of feelings and memories…didn’t she know how to feel either? “Well….you know…I missed you…and…”

I missed you. Daryl didn’t want to think about how much he had missed her, but those three words sent another jolt of pain through his heart at the same time that stirred something in it, that ghost of a feeling almost forgotten, that he wasn’t sure was real anymore or just that, a memory, a ghost. Whatever it was, it was confusing, and it was strange, and it hurt, and Daryl didn’t want it.

Before she could say anything else, or he had to say anything back, the door opened and Rick walked outside.

“Hi, you’re Y/N, right? I’m Rick.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” Y/N greeted as he got up, and Daryl thought she sounded nervous. He looked at her and then at Rick. He’d shaved and cut his hair, besides changing clothes, and Daryl scoffed looking at him.

“What?” Rick arched an eyebrow at him, an amused smirk on his face.

“Nothing.” Daryl reached out to take the possum he’d hunted at the doors of Alexandria and began to gut it and clean it there unceremoniously. He wasn’t going to be cleaning up and pretending to be what he wasn’t for that Alexandria people.

“Good to meet you too Y/N, Daryl said you were an old friend.”

“Yeah, but we hadn’t seen each other in more than seventeen years so this is…kind of surreal, I barely can believe it, you know?”

“I found my family when I thought them lost, but it wasn’t seventeen years later…can’t imagine how this must feel.”

“I’m…not even sure of how I feel…but…it’s good. It’s good.” Daryl wasn’t looking at them as they spoke, but then he looked up at Y/N to find her smiling at him, sad but sweet, a wave of memories and confusing, weird and almost forgotten emotions, went through him again. “I see you haven’t lost your touch.”

She sounded almost teasing as she pointed at the possum he was gutting, and Daryl found himself snorting and smirking. They looked at each other, their eyes locking for the first time, and Daryl felt as if they were transported back in time for a couple of seconds, something going between them, until she looked down chewing on her lower lip and he went back to looking at the possum he was gutting.

“It’s getting late and I have to leave…” Y/N said. “I hope you all like Alexandria, take your time to adapt to it. If you need anything, I work in the pantry, but anyone’d be happy to help, we know the first days after arriving here are the hardest. But you’ll see how good this place can be.”

“I see, thank you Y/N,” Rick replied politely. “See you around.”

“Daryl…” Y/N called for him and Daryl didn’t look up but looked at her through the hair that had fallen over his face. “I’d really like to talk again, if you want, just…yeah, it’s been a while but…I’d really like to catch up and…you know…be friends again, if that’s possible. If you’d want it too…”

She sounded insecure, and Daryl didn’t know what to say. She stirred all kind of memories and weird emotions in him, but at the same time, he wanted to talk to her, to go back in time even, the idea of maybe her walking away from his life again was painful. But he was still a mess of feelings and he didn’t know what to do.

“Okay,” he muttered.

Y/N didn’t say anything else and she walked away.

“What is it?” Rick asked out of the blue, and Daryl frowned again.

“What’s what?”

“Don’t know man…that woman? She looks at you like she knows you well, or knew you. Smiles at you like…well, like she found someone she really cared about seventeen years after losing them, which is kind of what happened. But you… you barely look at her or talk to her. You sure she’s a friend?”

“She…she was yeah, damn it…” Daryl snapped. “But that was seventeen years ago and I just…” He didn’t know how to word it, how to make sense of what he was feeling. “I don’t know. It’s…I don’t know what to think…I mean, fuck, I’m glad she’s alive, okay? But it was a long while since I last saw her and I don’t know…”

Rick reached out to squeeze his shoulder, taking him by surprise, and he flinched a bit. “Must be a hell of a thing to process. But I think…if you cared for her, if she was a good friend…I know time has passed, that things change and that people change, that she might have changed…but I think you maybe should try and talk to her, try to pick up your friendship again. I mean…you have gotten a second chance, found a lost friend again, you know how hard is that? Especially now in this world…how many people are wishing they had such a chance?”

“Yeah…” Daryl whispered. Damn Rick. It was like he always knew what to say, like he had always a speech ready in his head, the right words coming always so easily to him. He knew Rick was right, so right. Yet the feelings were still such a mess, he was so confused, he still felt like running away, and he switched from being incredulous at having found Y/N but beyond glad of it, to feeling hurt by the memories that came to him, to being scared as to how Y/N might be now…would she be the same? Maybe she wasn’t…and him…he wasn’t the same…maybe if she got to know him again, she wouldn’t like him anymore…

“Don’t think too hard, I can’t see the smoke coming out of your head.” Rick chuckled and Daryl scoffed. “Just…come in when you’re ready, we’re all staying in a house until we’re sure we can trust this place.”

“I think we can…it’s strange, but I don’t think they’re thinking about hurting us.” It might be stupid because he didn’t really know Aaron…or Y/N anymore. But he kind of felt like he could trust them, or at the very least that they didn’t mean them any harm, no matter Alexandria and its people were strange and he still felt like running away.

“I think so too, but better safe than sorry.”

“Yeah.”

*

The living room of the house looked like some sort of nest or burrow, a mess of blankets and pillows as everyone settled down the spent the night, but Daryl liked it. He liked to have everyone in the same room, where they could look after each other and make sure nothing bad happened during the night. He liked to have his family around, all huddled to sleep. It made him feel comforted in that strange place, even though he’d never admit such an embarrassing thing aloud.

Daryl had perched himself on the windowsill of one of the huge windows, from where he could look over the others easily and also look at the outside, though he could barely see anything. Alexandria had lampposts along its paths and roads, but most of them were off, to save light, he guessed. He could see light in some of the houses, and Daryl couldn’t help to wonder which one of them was Y/N’s. He had found himself unable to stop thinking about her. Did she have her own house in that strange place too? Was she alone in it? Was she thinking about him too? Everything still felt confusing, a mess of memories and feelings almost forgotten, but that threatened to come back to drown him, even though all them felt more like a dream than reality.

“You okay?” Carol asked quietly from her spot on the floor next to the windowsill, and Daryl meant to nod but he ended up shrugging. “It’s because of what Deanna has said about giving us jobs?” The leader had told them that she was looking for jobs for them in exchange of allowing them to stay, so maybe they weren’t there to protect Alexandria only. Oddly enough, it seemed like the place didn’t have guards, people on watch or nothing, not that he had seen at least.

“Nah…”

He knew it was normal, everyone had jobs at the prison too, even back at the quarry, everyone contributed, helping each other to make the place work. So, sure, it was normal Alexandria worked like that too…and yet the idea of Deanna looking for a job for him, of having to do as she told…it kind of made him feel…he didn’t know, but something that wasn’t good. Besides, she hadn’t said it yet, but she seemed to have a job in mind for almost everyone…besides him. Not that he cared. Like…sure, of course, why not, that woman must have taken a look at him and decide he was a good for nothing redneck that could bring nothing to her community.

Whatever, he didn’t care. She could think whatever she wanted, she could kick him out if she wanted, Daryl didn’t care, he didn’t want to be in there, in that strange place with strange people. But his family…no, he couldn’t leave them, the idea hurt, and he couldn’t stand the idea of not being there to help them and protect them…and…and Y/N. He had found her, could he leave her like nothing? She had done it…but no, that wasn’t fair. It hadn’t been like nothing. It had hurt her. Now, maybe they had another chance to know each other again, be friends again, maybe, could he give up on that just because he didn’t like the place? Daryl didn’t know…

“Didn’t you tell her you were a hunter in your interview?” Carol asked again, making him go back to earth, and he shook his head. He barely said anything in that interview, feeling caged and cornered in that strange room, and like crawling out of his skin. “Well, you can do it tomorrow.” Daryl didn’t say anything to that. He didn’t feel like going to talk to Deanna, at all. But maybe he should tell her before she told him to do anything he didn’t feel like doing, or before she deemed him too useless to do anything, though. But maybe she wouldn’t want him to be their hunter, she’d take another look at him and realize he didn’t belong in there. Carol’s voice went through his downfall spiral of thoughts again. “Or it is about Y/N?”

“Nah,” Daryl replied quick, and he knew Carol could tell he was lying. She let him be, though, didn’t insist or push him, and he was grateful for it. Instead, she just reached to squeeze his hand softly before settling down with her pillows, and Daryl went back to looking through the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, a little more of speaking…I know, this is moving slow. Thank you all who gave this a chance, I’m very grateful, because I liked so much to write this story, I hoped people would like it.
> 
> Please, if you liked it, let me know your thoughts! I love to talk to you all. Also let me know if you think two updates a week is too much.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	3. Chapter 3

Daryl didn’t remember falling asleep, he hadn’t intended too, but he must have, he had to be dreaming, because instead of in Alexandria he was back at the prison, but it wasn’t destroyed and burning. Beth and Zach were on one of the picnic tables, talking. Rick and Hershel were by the orchard, picking up tomatoes. He could see Tyreese and Sasha up in the watchtower.

Maybe he had woken up. Maybe everything else had been a nightmare. But he knew deep down that it wasn’t, that this was a dream, his heart heavy with sorrow. It was like it didn’t matter, though, he was walking out of the prison and into the woods, ready to hunt and bring something for his people to eat. Maybe some venison if he was lucky.

But those weren’t the woods near the prison…no, the more he walked, the more he recognized them as the woods at the outside of his town, where he’d gone almost daily since he was a kid. He rushed through the woods until he reached a clearing that he had tried to erase from his memory, a girl waiting for him there, a girl he also had fought hard not to remember.

Y/N, barely nineteen years old Y/N, grinned as he approached, looking at him with bright eyes, seeming so happy to see him that it took his breath away, and he was hit by feelings of happiness and love that he was unable to control, he didn’t know where they came from, what to do with them. Y/N approached him, reaching out for him…

Daryl woke up, looking around confused for a couple of seconds before he realized where he was. Alexandria. The living room of that fake-looking house, surrounded by his family.

What an odd dream. What an unwelcome dream.

Daryl felt the residual feelings from the dream going through him, and he didn’t know what to do with them. Y/N… his memories of her felt like the dream, long gone, as if those memories had been a dream too…but both the memories and the feelings fought to come back, and Daryl was scared of them winning. He didn’t know what to do with them.

He got up, careful not to step on Carol, and walked out, sitting on the porch and lighting a cigarette. The door opened and closed softly, and Carol sat down next to him. “Nightmare?” she asked, and Daryl shook his head.

“Memory…I think.”

“About…Y/N?” Carol ventured softly, and if it were someone else, Daryl might have snapped, but he just chewed on his lower lip before taking another drag of the cigarette.

“About the prison. The people we lost.” Daryl swallowed a lump in his throat, feeling his heart sting. Damned were his brain and his subconscious. “’ Bout Y/N, too, when we were young.” Carol just hummed softly, looking at him as if waiting for him to keep talking. Daryl wasn’t sure he wanted to, but he found himself doing so. “Rick said that I gotta talk with her, cos we got like…another chance to get to know each other again and get to be friends again or something.”

“And you don’t want to?”

“Ain’t that, just…It’s been seventeen years, Carol. I don’t…I don’t know what to think…I don’t know how to feel…I…everything is a mess in my head and I just…don’t know…don’t know what I want…” He was embarrassed talking like that, sharing his dumb emotions, but it was Carol after all. She wouldn’t judge. Still, he felt like hiding in a hole or running away from there forever.

“It must be quite a thing to find a lost friend seventeen years later, it’s no wonder you feel like this, it’s okay. I think Rick’s right, though, but you can take your time, she’ll understand, sure she’s feeling a bit like this too.” Carol was kind to him, understanding and somehow Daryl just felt like crying. “Did you…did you both parted in a bad way?”

No, no, they didn’t. Not really. They didn’t fight or anything like that. But both their hearts had been broken anyway. Daryl didn’t know what to say. It was as if Carol suspected they had been something more than friends, or maybe she was sure of it, but Daryl didn’t feel like talking about it, not even with her. He couldn’t. He didn’t know how to answer his question.

“No. No like that.”

“Okay…” Carol frowned, seeming in thought. “Daryl, you know that if you don’t want to talk with her, it’s okay.”

“Ain’t that…I…I’m glad she’s alive…and, to find her here that’s…shit, I don’t know, but it ain’t bad. Just…surreal…” like Y/N had said. “Those memories…it feels like a dream…and I don’t…I don’t know…” He shrugged, helpless. He wasn’t Rick, he could never deliver a speech, he couldn’t find the right words, he couldn’t even make sense of what he was feeling.

“It’s okay, just breathe. It’s your decision, but I think you should take this chance that you are given, it wasn’t easy to have one in the world before, even more in this, and she seems to have been important to you.” Carol’s words were similar to Rick’s, and Daryl knew that they were right, but he couldn’t help how he felt. “Talk to her when you are ready.”

“I…I remember her, seventeen years ago, and she was…yeah, she was important…” So important that it hurt to think back to that girl. “But…but she’s not the girl of my memories anymore.”

“She’s the same, Daryl, just, well…older…Of course she’s not going to be like the girl she might have been back then, but she’s sill her. You think she might have changed, that she’s not like she was and you won’t like her like you did? Well…it might be…” Daryl frowned at Carol, she wasn’t sounding that encouraging now. “But if you don’t talk to her, you are not going to find it out, and she might very well still be the girl you cared about. Do you want to lose your chance not talking to her just in case she isn’t?”

Daryl guessed he didn’t…letting go of Y/N again hurt…but all the memories and feelings that she brought back to him hurt too. It was confusing. And maybe Y/N…maybe she wasn’t that girl anymore, and the idea scared him even though he didn’t know why, but did he want to lose the chance to meet her all over again? He wasn’t sure, but a big part of him said no. He just didn’t know how to go about it.

“We didn’t part in a bad way…and…the memories of her are good, I cared for her, yeah. She was my friend. She…she cared for me too, I know she did…But…they are bad too…’cause…we got separated, she had to leave and I…we didn’t see each other again, until now…and it hurt…and it hurts now too…I didn’t want to think about her cos it hurt and now…now she’s back and I don’t know what to do…”

Daryl was blushing red, feeling like an idiot, babbling all that emotional and dumb nonsense, but Carol just looked at him with kindness. “It does still sound like you both should get to know each other again, get back your friendship…”

“I…I’m not the same that I was back then…” Daryl thought he was better now, but he knew he had been worse, worse than the man Y/N had known, almost until he found his family. Still, he was not that man anymore. “Maybe she…maybe she won’t like me now…”

He couldn’t believe he was admitting that, he was utterly embarrassed, but he did think like that…maybe Y/N wouldn’t want to know him now, she might not want to keep being his friend, she might have forgotten him, might not be interested in anything he could offer anymore…she wasn’t nineteen anymore…still, she had grinned at him when she saw him, she wanted to talk to him, she talked as if she wanted them to be friends…Daryl didn’t know what to think or feel, he felt like his gut and his heart, and his mind were all going crazy, he almost could feel his brain melting, and he felt like an idiot, but mostly he felt helpless.

“That’s silly! And anyway, that’s for her to decide…but if she doesn’t like you? Then that’s her loss.” Daryl didn’t say anything to that, and Carol held her hand to the back of his head, tilting his head and placing a kiss on his forehead. “Do me a favor and go try to get some sleep when you finish your cigarette.”

With that, she got up and went back inside.

*

Daryl was once again alone at the porch, fiddling with his crossbow. All the others had gone either to explore the place, talk to its people, or talk to Deanna, all wearing that borrowed clothes, looking as if the dead weren’t roaming the world ruining and destroying everything they touched. He hadn’t wanted to go with them. He didn’t care about the place, he still felt like running away, and he still felt like crawling out of his skin when people looked at him in a certain way, he knew they did. Not that he cared. He didn’t care about talking or getting to know anyone…except…except her, and even he wasn’t sure about that, the idea overwhelming him.

As if he had summoned her with her mind, Y/N showed up at the end of the street. She looked at him as if she didn’t know what to do, and seeming hesitant, she approached the house, stopping at the staircase of the porch.

“Good morning,” she greeted.

“Hmm,” He grunted as a reply, his fingers twitching on his crossbow, she made him nervous as if he was a teen again. As if he hadn’t known her as he had.

“Can we…do you mind if I sit down with you?” Y/N sounded unsure, and Daryl wondered if he looked unwelcoming, but he couldn’t help how he felt. He nodded his head but didn’t say anything “Daryl I…I told you that I understand if, after seventeen years, you don’t feel like…well…I know we don’t know each other anymore, so if…if you don’t want to speak, just…”

“No,” Daryl rushed to stop her babbling, it made him feel awful even if he couldn’t really say why, and he did want to talk with her…most of the time at least…but he didn’t know how to go about it, and it made him nervous. “No, I want to…I…” He frowned, desperately trying to find the right words for once. “I want us to get to know each other again.” Those weren’t his words, those were Rick’s or Carol’s, but he was sure it was the best he could say.

It seemed so, because it made Y/N smile and Daryl felt…weird, he felt weird. She sat down on the stairs of the porch, near where he was sat down on the floor, but she didn’t say anything, and neither did Daryl. Y/N fidgeted while Daryl chewed on his thumbnail, feeling an unwelcome combo of nerves, awkwardness, and weird twirls in his stomach.

“So much for speaking,” Y/N snorted softly.

“Sorry…” Daryl muttered, suddenly feeling even more like hiding forever.

“No, don’t apologize, just…I still can’t believe this…” Y/N shook her head, but she was smiling in wonder. “But you’re here somehow and I’m grateful for it, but…what are we supposed to do now? Do we pick up where we left it or what?”

She chuckled and Daryl couldn’t stop his mind from going to the last time they had been together, to those memories that sometimes felt feeble as dreams but that still hurt, despite being some of the best of his life. He was sure he was blushing and he shook his head to try to hide his face with his hair, silent, so Y/N kept speaking.

“But yeah, let’s…let’s get to know each other again…how have you been?” It seemed Y/N didn’t know how to go about this thing either, but at least she was trying, even if it was kind of a cliched question, but Daryl didn’t know how to answer it.

“Surviving.” He shrugged. He didn’t want to talk about everything that his family had lost, all the people now gone…and he certainly didn’t want to tell her about his life before the apocalypse, after she left, when he did nothing but what Merle said, when he was just the good for nothing that people had always thought he was, even if Y/N had always said people just gossiped bullshit.

“Yeah, I guessed that…” Y/N snorted and Daryl wondered if he had upset her. He knew he wasn’t being friendly, or talkative, or any of those things he guessed you were supposed to be when you were trying to know someone again…even someone you used to know, but he couldn’t help himself. Maybe she thought again that he didn’t want to be her friend anymore. He peered at Y/N and she was chewing on her lower lip, but Daryl thought her lips were curling up into a smile too. He didn’t know what to think. Then Y/N chuckled and Daryl couldn’t help but feel self-conscious, making him snap.

“What?”

“Getting to know you again, indeed, it feels the same.” Y/N was smiling and Daryl didn’t understand what was going on, and no matter deep down he knew Y/N wouldn’t make fun of him, he couldn’t help but feel more self-conscious and nervous, he couldn’t help but snap again.

“What you mean?”

“It’s just like when I first met you.” Y/N grinned at him. “I was like…so intrigued by you, I wanted to talk with you, get to know you, couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

Daryl blushed red to the tip of his ears at her words. Was it true? It’d been like that for her too, like it’d been for him? He kind of remembered being frustrated back then at the beginning, when he really didn’t know her, about his mind not wanting to stop thinking about her, he had wanted to know her, he hadn’t been able to stop himself, even though he hadn’t known how to get to know her or talk to her. Kind of like now. Maybe she was right, maybe it was the same now than it was back then…maybe…maybe things could be not that different…some of them at least…

“But I didn’t know how, what to do to get to know you, what to do to make you want to be my friend…so I’d just, talk and talk to you, and I felt like I was so annoying, but I really wanted to be your friend…” Y/N bit her lip and Daryl thought she was blushing too. “I’d try and learn things about you, I’d try asking you, talking to you, but it was so hard, getting to know something about you was like pulling teeth. Have someone ever told you that you are really not an open person?”

She teased, chuckling, but her eyes were getting wet and Daryl wondered if the memories hurt her too, as they did to him. “But damn, wasn’t it worthy. And now…now I feel again like that…like talking and like I’m annoying you, but like wanting to get to know you all over again…even if it still feels like pulling teeth.”

She chuckled again, rubbing her eyes, and Daryl too felt overcome by a wave of emotion at her words. He didn’t know what to say, but he felt even more like he didn’t want to see her go again, he didn’t want to lose this chance, he had to listen to Rick and Carol, he wanted her in his life again, even if it made him feel things he didn’t understand, even if it confused him, even if things might not be as he remembered them. He wanted to be her friend again. He forced himself to speak.

“I want it, I do want it, I want to… to know each other again.” He felt he was blushing again and he hated it. “But I…I’m sorry, I don’t know how to do better…” It slipped without him meaning to, it was silly and embarrassing, even if it was true, and Daryl cursed inwardly. Y/N, though, smiled at him sweetly.

“You don’t have to do anything but being you, that’s the thing…and just…we’ll do it as we did once, just meet, talk…that’s how people make friends, isn’t it.”

“You’re asking me?” Daryl deadpanned and Y/N laughed. It somehow made him relax a bit and almost smile.

“Yeah, I’m asking you. You were…you’ve been one of my best friends, so…” She shrugged, smiling. She had been that for him too… “And it seems to me that you have quite a lot of good friends now! You all seem really close, guys, it must be so good, to have so many people that care and that have your back.” Daryl nodded, it was, and he was proud of being part of it, though Y/N’s words made him wonder if she hadn’t anyone like that for her…he didn’t like the idea that much. “By the way, I saw them around, getting to know the place, why you didn’t go with them?”

Daryl didn’t know what to say, how to say to Y/N that he hated the place where she had lived since almost the beginning, that he hated how her neighbors and friends looked at him…He didn’t know how to explain, without sounding stupid, that he wanted to run away from a place that offered shelter, food, high walls…how out of place he felt, even more now that his friends seemed to like it so much, integrating in it, making him feel like they were going to forget about him, ignore him, decide he wasn’t good enough for them anymore, which probably sounded stupid too, probably it was, but Daryl couldn’t help those thoughts…

“This place…it ain’t…I don’t know…” He tried. “I feel…don’t feel like I belong in here…don’t feel anyone would want me here…”

“Come on now, that’s stupid! You’re…well, you. I’m sure Deanna can see your worth, all that you can do for us…” Daryl didn’t know why Y/N talked about him like that, when she didn’t know him anymore, but he appreciated it. “And even if you didn’t…what? You deserve to live in a safe place anyway…I know it can be hard to get used to this, it’s a shock for everyone who Aaron brings in, but just take your time.”

“That’s what I keep telling him.” Carol’s voice made both of them jump, they hadn’t noticed her approaching. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.” She gave them a smile and a look that made Daryl blush.

“Hey, no, it’s fine, you were Carol, right?”

“That is, and you’re Y/N. I was told you work at the pantry. I told Deanna I could work cooking for people, maybe you could show me the pantry when you’re free?” Carol grinned and Daryl wondered if her friend was up to something, but she seemed genuine. She kind of hoped she liked Y/N. “Maybe we could even cook together one day.”

“Of course, I’ll show it to you whenever you want, that’s my job…but cooking…no, that ain’t my thing,” Y/N chuckled. “Never was, I’m so bad at it, ask him.” She pointed at Daryl and he felt those strange, ghost feelings again. “He used to cook for me all the time, the stuff he hunted, while all I could cook for us were sandwiches.” She smiled and so did Carol, though she gave them a curious look. Suddenly Y/N’s eyes went wide and she grinned as she looked at him. “That’s what you should do here! Hunt for us! It’d be perfect, isn’t it!”

“It would, indeed,” Carol nodded, but Daryl just shrugged, feeling selfconscious again.

“I can even talk to Deana and tell her if you want, I’ll tell her how good you are.”

“Not need too…” he grumbled.

Y/N’s smile faltered for a second, but then it was back. “Anway…you two want me to show you the pantry? We even have chocolate, can you believe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, we’re still moving slow as a snail, but hey…they talked…
> 
> Please, if you liked it, let me know your thoughts! I love to talk to you all. Also let me know if you think two updates a week is too much.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	4. Chapter 4

Daryl didn’t know what he was doing, walking around that place that he couldn’t seem to like. A new day had come and his family had gone out and about, as if they’d been in the damn place forever, and he didn’t know what to do with himself. Maggie seemed to be working with Deanna, Glenn and Tara had joined the supplies run team, Rick was off Daryl didn’t know where, and Carol had gone to the pantry where Y/N worked to collect some things before starting her new daily communal cooking thing.

Y/N…

He had dreamed about her again that night…the dream mixing with memories long time forgotten…or maybe not that forgotten, even though he had tried to never think about it again…

Daryl was glad to be outside the walls of that weird place that made him feel so awful most of the time. He was tracking, trying to hunt something, but everything looked too familiar. Then he saw it, the clearing and young Y/N waving to him, grinning in that way she did every time she saw him, in that way that sent butterflies to his stomach.

She was collecting sticks so he could start a fire and roast the meat he brought with him. At the beginning, he had brought it already roasted, but one day he hadn’t had time to cook it before, being tied up with Merle and his damn friends, and he had gotten a fire ready and cooked the meat there with Y/N at the clearing.

After that, he had decided to start roasting it there because the meat tasted better freshly cooked, and because Y/N had seemed to like the idea. She liked to watch him and learn how to start a fire, liked to sit down around the campfire with him, and watch him cook. She said that if she watched him enough, maybe she’d be able to roast the meat herself without leaving it charred on the outside and raw on the inside.

All those memories, happy once but bittersweet now, came back to Daryl in a dream, but it was a dream, and so all he felt then was happiness. Excitement, as he approached her, but nerves too. He had something in his bag for her, something that wasn’t just meat for roasting, something he’d been thinking about doing for months and months, since he couldn’t find any of her mother’s books when he sneaked into her stepfather’s house, only being able to get her an old picture.

“I’m getting the shape right?” Y/N asked once he was close, pointing at the campfire she was starting to build, as she had watched him do again and again.

“Yeah. Perfect.” He nodded, smiling and sitting down next to her, carefully placing his bag on the ground, and Y/N grinned at him in that way she did… “I…got you something…”

“Rabbit or squirrel this time?…don’t tell me it’s snake.” Y/N giggled.

“What, you didn’t like it?” They had only eaten snake once, not that it was Daryl’s favorite either, and Y/N had been quite freaked out about it at first, but then she hadn’t complained.

“It was…it was weird, it didn’t taste bad but…weird…” She giggled again, biting her lip as she looked at him, filling Daryl with all kind of weird feelings and butterflies. “Tell me is not snake.”

“It ain’t. Squirrel. But I didn’t mean that…I mean, yeah, I bring meat, but not only that, just…” He felt at loss of words, as usually happened to him, awkward and nervous, and so he stopped trying to say anything and just reached into his bag, taking out something and handing it to her.

It was a book, an old one, quite battered. He had seen it at the window of a crappy store in the town, that sold all kind of old stuff, mostly broken or useless, though it had some good finds sometimes, Daryl’d found a few motorbike pieces for cheap in there once that he’d been able to fix for his bike.

The book had caught his attention when he walked past the store. He thought he remembered the title, Y/N had told him it was one his mom used to like, if he remembered correctly. One that Y/N hadn’t been able to take with her when her step-father kicked her out of the house. Hoping it wasn’t expensive, Daryl had gotten into the store determined to get Y/N that book. If it wasn’t the one that her mother liked, it was a detectives one, and Y/N liked those things, so hopefully she’d like the book…if the damn old thing didn’t fall apart.

Y/N was staring at it now, stroking the cover as Daryl had noticed she used to do with books, seeming surprised, and then she looked at him wide-eyed. “Where did you get this?”

“You know that crappy, weird shop with the old stuff, not that far from your place?”

“Yeah! I’ve always wanted to get in, see all the old treasures it might have…but I’ve never dared…it is kind of weird…”

“Old treasures? Girl, all it has is shit.” Daryl snorted. “Ain’t treasures in this town. Sometimes you can find good shit, though… But yeah, it’s weird. Could go with you, one day, if you want…” He shrugged, trying to sound casual, as if he wasn’t still a mess of nerves every time he asked Y/N to do something with him, no matter they saw each other daily, spent so much time together…

“Yeah, I’d really like that…” Y/N nodded, giving him a smile before focusing all her attention back to the book, stroking the cover once again before opening it carefully, finding one of the old ink illustrations that grazed some of the yellow pages. “Woah…this is so perfect…I love it, Daryl, so much…” Her words gave him all the butterflies again. “It was one of my mom’s favorites, you know?”

“I know.” Daryl nodded and couldn’t help his smile, pleased he had remembered the title right.

“You’re the best Daryl.” She grinned at him and Daryl was sure the butterflies were going to make his belly explode. “You didn’t have to expend money on this.”

“It’s fine…told you, it’s a crappy old shit store, it doesn’t have fancy expensive stuff.” Daryl shrugged, he didn’t want her worrying about that.

“It’s so perfect…” Y/N whispered reverently, stroking the cover again, before carefully placing it down. “Thank you. Thank you so much, Daryl.” Before he couldn’t say anything, her arms were around his shoulders and she held him to her, snuggling to him, and Daryl snuggled right back to her. He loved it when she hugged him, yet he’d never dare to ask for it or hug her first. It still made him nervous and a bit awkward, but the warm and comforting feeling that her arms around him gave him overcame all that…

She pulled back, taking the book again, and for a weird second, Daryl wondered if he was suddenly jealous of a book. “Do you want me to read you aloud the first chapter?” She asked, grinning and seeming so cute and excited…his heart beating all funny as he nodded…

The dream had ended there, he had woken up before he could hear her reading, feeling kind of weirdly disappointed. The things he’d felt in that dream of a memory still lingered in him, making him feel strange things…and at the same time, making him feel like he wanted to talk to Y/N, to see her…

It was all confusing, and strange, and kind of scary…

Daryl felt more at ease after his conversation with Y/N yesterday…which meant he didn’t want to run away from her, but that he was still full of nerves and confusing feelings, with those ghosts memories making everything even harder. But he knew, he was sure now, that he wanted to know her again, to take this chance to have her in his life again, to be friends all over again…even if the memories of them being more than friends still hurt…but she had made him happy, had made his life better, being one of his best friends, and no matter what, Daryl had decided he wanted that again.

He still wasn’t sure about how to go about it, but he could probably just let Y/N take charge of that, just like the first time. He hoped he’d proved to her that he was interested in them being friends. Maybe he could do something, though. Maybe he could have gone to the pantry with Carol, say hi to Y/N, even if it was awkward, even if his stomach did weird things.

Daryl was abruptly taken out of his thoughts when he saw a commotion ahead, Glenn fighting with two of the guys of the supply team, and he ran to them, things escalating as punches were thrown. Glenn seemed to have it under control, though, pinning one of the guys to the ground, but the other was going for him and so Daryl grabbed him before he could hurt Glenn, pushing him, but before he could do anything Rick was pulling him back, telling him to stop, and Daryl didn’t understand a damn thing. Hadn’t he seen those assholes were attacking Glenn? Were they now supposed to let the Alexandria people pull shit like that just because they lived in there? Then he’d rather leave.

He didn’t snap, didn’t do nothing, he knew there was no point, just glared at them while Rick and Deanna talked about it, tense and ready in case Deanna might try something on his people. Instead, though, what she did was announce that she was making Rick and Michonne constables of the place. Daryl didn’t know what was going on, but he didn’t like it, even less when Rick and Michonne agreed so readily, as if eager to become Deanna’s lapdogs or some shit.

He knew he was getting riled up, feeling eyes on him, hearing people’s murmurs, and so he decided to just walk away. He didn’t know where to, though, and he ended up once again sat down on that porch where he seemed to find himself all the time now. He was dying to go outside. He’d wait until the gate had cleared of gossipers and then he’d leave, just his crossbow and him.

Daryl was still there, mulling it all over, angrily carving a new bolt, when Y/N walked up the stairs of the porch to join him. “Hey, I was told what happened.” Her voice was soft, but it prompted Daryl into making assumptions anyway, all his self-conscious feelings coming back strong.

“Yeah? Came to tell me I’m a damn savage who doesn’t belong here? Yeah, no need to, I know already, I’ll be glad to leave.” He snapped, as if all his early thoughts about wanting to have Y/N back in his life were gone.

“Oh, come on, cut the bullshit, Daryl!” Y/N snapped back, making him look at her surprised. “I know you. Or I knew you. Either way, those things you said? Bullshit. And you know it.” Daryl just shrugged, blushing red and looking down, embarrassed. “You and your friend punched a couple of guys? I know those guys, I’m pretty sure there was a reason. So, can you tell me your version of what happened? No bullshit.”

“Don’t know…don’t know why Glenn was fighting with them.” He hadn’t asked, he hadn’t cared. “Just that they were two and Glenn one, and I wasn’t going to let them hurt him… But Deanna didn’t get angry, she made Rick and Michonne constables and it doesn’t make sense…” He found himself telling her everything, as if she was an old friend and they hadn’t been separated for seventeen years. It was…it was a weird feeling.

“Yeah, I heard about that too. I think Deanna has been thinking about that since getting to know them,” Y/N said as she sat down next to him. “I heard Rick was a cop, before, and Michonne…I don’t know her, but she looks…awesome.” She chuckled, seeming a bit embarrassed. “So it does make sense to me, they’d be good constables. We’ve never had stuff like that here, but maybe it’s about time, you know, shit can happen, people can argue, it might get out of hand…it’s good to have someone to show up and control it.”

Daryl shrugged, he was still unsure about being on board with the idea, but the way in which Y/N was saying it, it didn’t match with his idea of Deanna being throwing them bones to keep them content and doing as she commanded…it actually kind of sounded like those people saw them as useful. Or at least Y/N. Though maybe they didn’t seem him as useful, Deanna still didn’t say anything about him working on anything, and he was sure people still looked at him wrong.

“There’s been trouble like that before, here?” He asked when Y/N didn’t say anything else and he began to feel a bit awkward.

“No, not really, everything is quite peaceful in here, you know, and we’re also lucky with walkers stuff and that…so yeah…I mean, there’s been some trouble sometimes, as everywhere, but…well, not much…” She rambled.

“What kind of trouble?” Daryl asked instantly, the almost forgotten instinct of protecting her jumping back into him seventeen years later. Y/N looked at him and chuckled, shaking her head, making Daryl frown and snap. “What?”

“Nothing, just…” Y/N bit her lip but her smile widened anyway. “You really haven’t changed, have you? I mean it in a good way,” she added when Daryl’s frown deepened.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

Y/N took a deep breath, frowning as she reorganized her thoughts, and Daryl felt so nervous he could run away. “You…you really care about your people, a lot. You did back then too…’bout me…” She blushed at that, and so did Daryl. “About your brother, even if I still think he didn’t deserve it, but you cared so, so damn much…”

He had, he had cared for his ass of a brother right until the end. The way in which Y/N sounded…it made Daryl wonder if maybe she did blame Merle for him having stayed in their town instead of going with her to the city. Merle was one of the reasons, yes, but Daryl had known that there was nothing for him at the city, he couldn’t do nothing there but drag her down…and so he had let her go and never followed her…

“And you still do it, you protect your people, you take care of them…so, yeah, that hasn’t changed…which is a good thing, if you ask me.”

Y/N shrugged, blushing again, and Daryl found himself thinking about her words. He had never seen himself like that, but now that he thought about it, now that Y/N said it, it sounded right. He did care for his people, deeply, more than for himself, probably. He did want to protect them, more than anything. Y/N was right, she was, as if she still knew him, seventeen years later, as if she knew him better than he knew himself even. Daryl looked at her in wonder and she smiled, biting her lip and blushing even more. She was cute, like she had been…the thought made his way into Daryl’s mind without him being able to stop it.

“You did it for me…took care of me, no one had done it before, only my mom, and she’d passed and I had no one…and then I met you…” Y/N looked down as she spoke quietly and Daryl blushed, feeling the weird twirls in his stomach and memories he’d kept looked coming back to him. “You’d talk to me, and took care of me, and you fed me, you protected me, when I was scared walking out that damn club…do you remember that time you beat that guy who was trying to…do nothing good to me?”

Daryl gulped and nodded. He did remember. That was the first time Y/N had kissed him. He remembered how the fight had gone, though. “More like he was the one beating me until Merle came…” He scoffed. “Don’t know why you’d feel protected after seeing that…” He’d been so embarrassed, he remembered.

“What? What are you saying? Damn, Daryl, for me you were like a hero!” Y/N bit her lip, fidgeting as if shy, and Daryl felt the weird twirls in his stomach going out of control while he blushed deep, feeling awkward too, he couldn’t help it. “Anyway…maybe punching Deanna’s son wasn’t the best to win her good side but well, she’s a fair leader, she’s not going to do nothing bad, you already saw how she made Rick and Michonne constables, so don’t go thinking she won’t have you here now or silly things like that.”

“I don’t care if she does, I don’t care if she wants me to leave, I’d leave. I don’t care” Daryl snapped, he couldn’t help it, everything about Alexandria and Deanna making him nervous and awkward.

“I’d care,” Y/N retorted, making him blink at her. “I don’t want to lose you again, Daryl. I don’t.”

She was blushed red, looking down, and Daryl blushed too. He didn’t know what to say or do, but it sounded to him like…hell, she cared for him? Seventeen years later. No, she couldn’t, she didn’t care for him, she cared for the memory of him. But either way, he knew that he didn’t want to lose her again, if he could help it, that he wanted to try to be friends with her again. After all, it seemed he couldn’t stop himself from still being drawn to her, seventeen years later, from feeling that comfortable with her, from trusting her like that. Years later, he still couldn’t resist her. He wasn’t sure he wanted too. Everything scared him, though.

“Ain’t leaving…if Deanna doesn’t want me, I mean. I ain’t leaving my family…” He rasped, and Y/N nodded, smiling softly. “And I meant it…that I want to know you again…so…yeah…” He admitted, shrugging and looking away.

“Good, that’s…that’s good.”

*

Daryl couldn’t sleep, perched up on that windowsill again, no matter everyone was now taking rooms.

Maybe Y/N had been right and he had been wrong. Maybe him and his family had been taken into Alexandria because they thought them useful and wanted their help, and it was his family who the Alexandrians should be worried about.

He didn’t know what was going on with Rick, but their last conversation that night at the porch had left Daryl mild confused and worried. It seemed as if Rick were thinking they could just take over Alexandria, claim it for them, if Deanna and her people didn’t bend to what Rick wanted, if they didn’t become what he had in mind.

Daryl was loyal to his family and to Rick, over everything, but still, his brother’s words made him feel wrong. Take the place for them…it kind of sounded like what the Governor had tried to do with their prison, no matter Rick had better reasons.

His family would have no problem taking over Alexandria, no matter the Alexandrians were more, they were kind of helpless too, they seemed pretty useless at fighting or protecting themselves, except Aaron perhaps, which still made Daryl wonder how the hell they had survived that long. For that same reason, though, the words “taking the place for ourselves” felt even worse…the Alexandrians wouldn’t stand a chance.

Probably he shouldn’t worry too much. Probably it was just a way of speaking. Rick would know what he was doing. He just wanted his family to have a home, a home that didn’t make them feel unwelcome or out of place, and a safe one, so he needed the Alexandrians to see that they needed to do some changes.

Daryl should stop worrying that much and let Rick and Carol keep going with their plan…Rick’s words still lingered heavy in his mind…he didn’t want Y/N getting caught in whatever argument or problem Rick, and maybe even Daryl himself, might have with Denna or other Alexandrians. He didn’t want her thinking the wrong things about Rick, either, or about himself. Maybe he should talk to her and tell her…what? That Rick was making some kind of plan that involved taking control of her home? It sounded all kind of wrong, and Daryl didn’t even know if that was what Rick was trying to do.

He felt caught up in the middle of things that he didn’t like neither understood, and he didn’t know what to do. Probably he should stop overthinking it, trust that Rick knew what he was doing, even though he’d been acting kind of strange, different. It was normal, after what they’d gone through.

“You okay?” Carol whispered, sitting down next to him, and Daryl nodded without glancing at her, still looking through the window. “You’re not worrying about having punched some idiots, are you?”

Daryl scoffed. “Of course I ain’t.”

“Then what have you worrying?”

Daryl just shrugged, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t know how to explain it, and she too seemed to be helping Rick…sure, Carol’d have things under control, Daryl should stop worrying.

“How are things with Y/N?”

“Good…we spoke today…things are good…” Daryl answered vaguely, feeling like he was blushing. She’d said she cared if he left…that she didn’t want him to… that she…that she didn’t want to lose him again. Those words, it made Daryl feel all kind of weird things, it was kind of scary in a way, but also warm, and comforting, and Daryl didn’t know how to explain it, not even to Carol.

She just smiled softly, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. “Try to get some sleep, okay?”

Daryl nodded, though he was sure he couldn’t sleep, his mind busy with all kind of thoughts, no matter he tried to stop it, it was as if its mind never wanted to shut up. Letting out a sigh, he leaned against the corner of the window, looking through the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seemes their relationship is progressing even if awkardly and slowly…but, there’s a twist coming next week that I was excited about.
> 
> Please, if you liked it, let me know your thoughts! I love to talk to you all, though I think I lost half the people who used to read my things.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	5. Chapter 5

Daryl didn’t realize he had fallen asleep out of exhaustion until he saw that once again, he was walking through the woods at the outside of his old town. He couldn’t find their clearing, couldn’t find Y/N, but he heard her, her voice, singing…

Baby for all it’s worth, I’ll be the first to blow your mind, now if you’re ready come and get me…

Daryl woke up still hearing the song in his head as if Y/N were singing it right there next to him…the first to blow his mind, for sure, and it still seemed like he couldn’t take her out of his mind…

He realized he hadn’t asked her if she still sang. They were supposed to get to know each other again, yet when she asked about him, he blew her over…there was nothing to tell…and he hadn’t asked about her…had she made it in the town, had she became a singer, before the world went to shit?

Maybe he could go talk to her…ask her…it made him nervous, but they were supposed to become friends again…he was still unease about how Rick’s plans might affect her. Yeah, he wanted to talk to her.

He had to meet with Carol and Rick at the outside of the Alexandria, and he had planned on going hunting after that, but it was early enough and so maybe he could go visit Y/N before she had to go to the pantry and then he’d go hunting.

When he thought about going to visit Y/N and talk to her, he felt like running away, but he could do it. He just needed to think what he was going to tell her, so he wouldn’t find himself at loss of words as always, or ended up snapping or saying the wrong thing.

He could do it…he could do it…

His meeting with Rick and Carol left him feeling like…he didn’t know. He wasn’t sure how it made him feel but it didn’t feel good. Rick’s words as he spoke last night about taking Alexandria for themselves still lingered in Daryl’s mind, and the conversation that morning had made him uneasy too.

Rick and Carol wanted to sneak weapons from Alexandria’s armory. Sure, Daryl didn’t like they were in Alexandria without their firearms, but after those days in the weird place, he was more or less sure the Alexandrians were no threat and they didn’t need their weapons to protect themselves. Still, it didn’t mean he wouldn’t like it better if they had their weapons…but the way in which Rick said it, combined with his earlier words…they didn’t want the weapons to protect themselves.

It kind of sounded as if they might use them to threaten Deanna and her people into giving them control over Alexandria, maybe even hurt them. And yeah, most of those people were strange and uppity, and Daryl didn’t like them at all, but the idea of going against them like that, when they seemed so pathetically helpless, taking their home from them…it just…it didn’t sit right with Daryl.

He was loyal to his family, to Rick, to Carol, he’d kill for them, die for them…and still, this whole situation didn’t feel good. He wanted them to have a home, a good, protected place like Alexandria…but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to get it in the way Rick might want to, if things didn’t go his way. Maybe he was overreacting, though. Rick was a good guy, so maybe it was all in Daryl’s head. After all, he and Carol had told him he should integrate, too. Daryl didn’t know what to think.

He felt contradicted, and he hated it. Kind of similar to the way in which Y/N and his feelings about her made him feel, too.

Daryl was now making his way to Y/N’s house and he felt nerves overcame him. Carol had pointed to him where the house was, even though he hadn’t said anything to her about going to visit Y/N. He didn’t know if it’d be awkward or weird to show up in her doorstep, even though she had come to see him a couple of times already, he still wasn’t sure he would be welcomed. He didn’t know what to tell her and as he approached the place, he wasn’t even sure as for why he was going.

He had tried organizing his thoughts, making sense in his mind of what he wanted to talk with her, trying to get words ready, since he knew they wouldn’t flow to him as they seemed to do to Rick. But now he seemed to have forgotten everything and he felt like he might panic. He wondered if he had felt like that seventeen years ago, when he started meeting with her…he felt as if he might have been nervous like this back then too, but he wasn’t sure.

Either away, it was stupid, and he should stop behaving like that. He had killed groups of walkers by himself with a knife, he wasn’t going to be scared of talking with an old friend…no matter if she was Y/N and he didn’t know how to talk to her anymore, or the weird way in which she made him feel.

Once he reached the place he forced himself to walk up the stairs of the porch and knock on her door. Y/N opened the door after a minute that felt eternal to Daryl. She seemed surprised to see him there, but she smiled.

“Daryl, hi.”

“Hey,” he chocked out, forgetting everything he’d thought about telling her.

“You needed something?” Y/N seemed confused and Daryl wondered if it showed in his face the battle that he was having with himself and his mind. He hoped not.

“I’m going out hunting,” he heard himself saying.

“Okay…” Y/N arched an eyebrow at him, but a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Deanna gave you the job.”

“Nah…but I want to go out, might as well hunt something.” He felt so trapped and out of place in there, it made it almost hard to breathe, he rather be outside, walkers or not. “I’ll bring you some rabbits.”

“Good, I’ll sort them in the pantry,” Y/N nodded, smiling, and before he could explain that he meant he’d bring them to her, not to all damn Alexandria, a voice came from inside.

“Mom! Can’t find my shoes!”

Y/N looked at him wide-eyed and Daryl froze too, his mind trying to catch up with what he’d heard…had he heard right?

“Mom!”

Yes, he had definitely heard right. He didn’t know what to do or say, and Y/N seemed to be right there with him. Did she…Y/N had a kid? She hadn’t said anything…he hadn’t asked either…now he wondered why he hadn’t even thought about it…seventeen years had come and gone after all…he still felt weird though…

“Sorry, I need to…I have to…” Y/N was stammering, seeming as a fish out of water, and then she disappeared inside. “Told you to get your things ready before you went to sleep!” He heard her saying as she walked inside.

Daryl didn’t know what to do. Should he wait for her? Should he leave? A whirlwind of emotions that didn’t make sense to him were going through him and he couldn’t even think right, but he was leaning towards running away, though he felt like he was glued to the stop too.

Before he could leave, though, a little girl walked out of the door, followed by Y/N. If he had had any doubt about Y/N actually, really having a kid of her own, it was gone as soon as he saw the little girl. She might be around seven? Daryl wasn’t good at guessing kid’s age, and he was a little miniature of Y/N. He looked from her to Y/N, still not knowing what to say or what to do, and Y/N seemed to be feeling just the same.

“Hi,” the little girl greeted, making him look back at her. “Who are you? I don’t know you. Are you one of the new?”

“I’m Daryl,” he hadn’t thought about answering, he just did.

“Oh! Daryl!” The kid’s eyes light up and she grinned at her mother, who seemed ready for the earth to swallow her but still seemed unable to move or say anything. Why did that kid sound like she knew him? Daryl felt self-conscious and he’d have run away if he still didn’t feel glued to the spot. “You’re mom’s old friend!”

“I…” Daryl blinked at the kid. “Guess…”

“Sweetheart,” Y/N finally spoke up, interrupting what her kid was about to say. “You’re late for class, look, Dawn’s already waiting for you.” Daryl looked towards where Y/N was pointing, finding another little girl in the garden of the next house, waving at them. “Come on, go.”

“Fine…” The little girl grinned at him again. “Gotta go but it was nice to meet you, Daryl. Come again after class and we can speak!” She turned as if to leave, but stopped to look at him again. “Oh! I’m Jane, by the way!” With that, off she was, running towards that other little girl. Daryl looked at the mother, swallowing, but nothing came out of his mouth.

“I…I gotta go…to the pantry…” Y/N muttered, looking away from him.

“No, wait,” Daryl’s mind was finally waking up from its dumbfounded state, though he didn’t know why he was feeling that agitated. “You got a kid?” He asked, as if it wasn’t obvious, and Y/N nodded, fidgeting. “You said…you said that we were gonna get to know each other again…that didn’t include telling me you got a kid?”

Daryl didn’t know why he said that. He had no right to demand Y/N to tell him anything. He hadn’t told her anything about himself after all. He was no one for her after all, he wasn’t in her life anymore…which was probably the reason why she hadn’t bothered telling him…and the reason why he shouldn’t demand nothing from her… He turned to leave but Y/N called for him.

“Daryl! Hey, wait, please…” He did so, couldn’t help it, though he didn’t meet her eyes as he gnawed the skin of his thumb. “I was going to tell you, just…I don’t know…just…waiting for the right moment I guess…we were…yeah, we were getting to know each other, so I wanted to…I don’t know…wanted to wait to tell you this cause…it’s…don’t know…” Big, having a kid was something big in someone’s life, or at least it seemed like so to Daryl.

“You don’t have to tell me shit. Don’t owe me nothing.”

“Daryl, come on…” Y/N’s voice sounded begging and Daryl didn’t know what to do, what she wanted from him. “Don’t be upset.”

“Ain’t upset.” He scoffed. Y/N didn’t have to tell him nothing about her. He hadn’t told her how he’d been nothing until he found his new family. How since then, every time they were happy, they seemed to lost something or someone. So Y/N didn’t ought him to tell him nothing either.

“I wanted to tell you.” Y/N walked to stop in front of him, trying to get him to look at her, but he didn’t. “I was going to. I just…wanted us to talk for a bit first, before…I don’t know why…”

He knew. ‘Cause he wasn’t her friend anymore or nothing like that. He was just someone she used to know, but not anymore. He knew how people looked at him, what they thought of him. If there was a possibility of him being just like people thought, why might Y/N want to let him know she got a damn kid. Daryl didn’t know why all those thoughts made his heart sting like that.

“Daryl. I can hear you think. Or actually, I wish I could, so I could know what you are thinking. But I bet it’s nothing good…” She sounded as if she knew him, still knew him. “Stop it. Please. I wanted to tell you, I was going to. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

“Told you, you don’t owe me to tell me shit.” He muttered.

“But I want to. I want to be your friend, again. So I want to know you, and I want you to know me.” Y/N sounded genuine and Daryl peeked at her through his hair. She seemed genuine, eyes honest and kind, though worried too.

Daryl chewed on his nail again. He suddenly felt as if he’d overreacted. He didn’t know what had gotten into him and he was embarrassed. He didn’t know why his mind always had to jump into conclusions and come up with shit. He felt he was behaving like a kid, like an idiot…he felt he was behaving like that all the time around Y/N since they met again. He didn’t know why and he certainly didn’t know how to stop it, but he damn wanted to.

“I’m sorry…” He murmured, looking down again. “I’m an ass.”

“No, no you aren’t,” Y/N said softly and she gently took his hand, stroking his knuckles with her thumb ever so softly, but it took Daryl by surprise, still a bit caught up in his own head, and he flinched his hand away. “Sorry,” she rushed to apologize.

“No, I’m sorry.” He regretted having pulled away, his body urging him to hold her hand, even though he couldn’t understand why. He didn’t dare to reach for her hand, though.

“Let’s…” Y/N bit her lip as she began talking. “Let’s stop apologizing, okay?”

Daryl snorted quietly, nodding. He didn’t know why that simple sentence, combined with Y/N’s mortised yet kind of amused look, made him relax a bit “Okay.”

Y/N smiled, seeming to relax a bit herself. “Look, I really have to go work, but why you don’t walk me to the pantry and we can speak while we walk?”

“Alright.” They began walking but neither of them spoke. Daryl didn’t know what to say, still feeling like it wasn’t his place to ask Y/N about her life anymore…

“So…yeah, I got a kid…She’s Jane…and you already knew that…so…” Y/N began speaking, much to Daryl’s relief, though she sounded kind of lost and like she didn’t know how to go about it. “There’s quite a few kids in here, so that’s good.” Daryl nodded, he had seemed them, much to his surprise. “Dawn, the other kid, she’s Nora’s. I’m lucky we got here in the beginning, when there weren’t too many walkers yet, not as many as they seem to be now, according to what the people that go out say, though not many wander to Alexandria’s walls. So Jane hasn’t seen many of those, there are other kids here who had so many nightmares and terrifying memories, even Dawn ‘cause her mom…you know…but not Jane. We made sure that our kid’s didn’t see it, Nora and I, we took care they didn’t have to see all those monsters and death…even when they got her, she was just begging me and her husband that we didn’t let the kids see…and they didn’t…”

Y/N’s voice broke and when Daryl looked at her, he noticed tears in her eyes. He couldn’t say anything, but instinctually his hand reached to squeeze her arms softly, and Y/N gave him a sad, grateful smile.

Daryl was sure Y/N had meant well by sheltering her kid like that, but he wasn’t so sure it was a good idea. The kid needed to know how dangerous walkers were, not to be terrified of them, though she should fear them, but to be ready, just like every kid he saw in Alexandria, they needed to know how to protect themselves. Maybe…maybe if his people had done that since the beginning, maybe then they wouldn’t have lost Sophia. All that time, and those memories still hurt so much…

The whole damn Alexandria needed to learn how the world really was, needed to learn to protect themselves. They couldn’t keep themselves sheltered like that, they needed to face the world as it was now, for their own good. Sooner or later, danger came for you in that world. He didn’t say anything, though, he didn’t want to upset Y/N more.

“The kid’s father, is he around?” He asked instead, since Y/N hadn’t mentioned it as she spoke, hadn’t really said much about her kid, and for some reason that was the first thing that came to his mind when he thought about Y/N’s kid. As he asked, Daryl realized it was also a bad thing to ask. If Y/N hadn’t mentioned him, it was probably because he’d died like Nora. Daryl’d managed to make an ass out of himself again, making Y/N sad and upset again when he was trying not to. It didn’t seem like so when he looked at her, though, he wasn’t crying as he’d expected. Maybe the guy was alive, then?

“No, he’s not here…I kind of…don’t know nothing about him since before Jane was born…” Y/N shrugged, seeming a bit embarrassed. Daryl blinked, he didn’t know what to say or what to think. So…so had a guy knocked her and then left her pregnant and alone? Fucking damn asshole. He felt enraged towards a man he didn’t know, for a girl he didn’t really know anymore, a girl he hadn’t seen in seventeen years. He didn’t understand himself…he was such a mess when he was around her, and he couldn’t understand half of his feelings.

“How comes?”

“That’s…” Y/N let out a sigh. “That’s a real long story…that I’ll tell you, just not when I’m about to get to work.” She elaborated, as if she feared Daryl might think she didn’t want to share things with him again, and he felt embarrassed about how he had reacted before. He was curious as to know more, but he wanted to give Y/N time and space, after how he had snapped before.

“She seems like a good kid.” That sounded like the right thing to say, but also Daryl felt it was true.

“She is. She’s the best one, but don’t tell that to other mothers.” Y/N chuckled.

“Seems like she likes to talk.” Daryl couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his lip.

“She does!” Y/N snorted. “A bit too much, sometimes, ‘cos it seems she still doesn’t have a filter.”

“You were talking all time before too.” Daryl didn’t know where the memory came from or why it just slipped like he didn’t have a filter either, but he knew it was true. Y/N laughed at that.

“Yeah, yeah I was…used to talk your damn ear off, didn’t I?” Y/N smiled bashfully. “Told you, I wanted to know you…and I guess my way to do it was to just…talk and talk, and bother you.”

“Didn’t bother me. Never.” Daryl said, couldn’t stop it, blushing as he did so. Y/N didn’t say anything, biting her lip as it curled up into a smile. “Just…how comes she knows me? Jane?” He said, trying to change the topic and also curious as hell.

“Oh well…She heard Aaron had brought new people and she began asking me about them…and well, I told her one of them was someone who I knew from before, from years ago, you. ‘Cause I was still in shock but also excited about it so I just kind of told it to my child like a silly adult who has no friends.” Y/N chuckled awkwardly.

“You got no friends?” Why among everything she had told him, Daryl decided to ask her about that, he didn’t know, but he knew it wasn’t the best thing, making an ass out of himself again, yet there went the words, out of his mouth.

“Jeez, you’re as tactful as I remember.”

“Sorry…”

“No, I’m joking.” Y/N chuckled. “It’s not that I don’t have friends, just…” Y/N looked around, biting her lip. “You told me you didn’t feel like you belong in here…sometimes…sometimes I look around and I feel the same. Then I remind myself that I live at the end of the world. But sometimes…and I know it’s all in my head, but sometimes I can’t help but think that I’m not like this people, like most of them at least…they are nice, though, they are…just…can’t help it, sometimes.” She shrugged.

Daryl hadn’t imagined Y/N felt like that, not with the way in which she’d talked to him about Alexandria and its people. She was right, though, it was all in her head. In his case…he knew it wasn’t only in his head. Still, he wondered if it might have something to do with their old town. He wondered if that shit place hadn’t poisoned them, somehow. He didn’t say anything, though.

“You’re not angry I told her about you, are you?”

“What? No.” Daryl hoped it hadn’t come across like that.

“Okay…I’ll introduce you to her properly, alright? I mean…if you want. You don’t need to, if you don’t want to. It’s okay.”

“I want to.” Daryl cut her ramble. She was Y/N’s kid, he wanted to meet her. “She looks like you.” There he was again, unable to stop himself from saying awkward shit. Y/N didn’t seem to mind or think it was awkward, though, she actually snorted, seeming amused.

“She does, and I look like my mother, maternal line is strong in my family it seems. She also likes detective books too, and that’s a good thing.”

“Yeah?” Daryl couldn’t help his smile as Y/N spoke.

She hummed, nodded. “Her name, Jane. Do you remember a couple of books I lent you, the detective was this old woman, Mss. Marple?”

“I think so…” Daryl frowned, thinking hard, trying to remember, but that detail was blurry and faint as a dream after you wake up.

“Well. Jane Marple, that was her name. And I named my child after her. ‘Cause I didn’t know how to name her and I’m a nerd like that.” She chuckled, cheeks red, and Daryl’s smile went wider. She was adorable, and fun, and cute, seventeen years ago and now…and where the hell had that thought came from. He felt his own cheeks blushing red. “Anyway…we’re here.” Daryl realized when she said it that they had stopped in front of the pantry. “But we’ll take later, okay?”

“Okay. I’ll bring you those rabbits.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…things are a bit more complicared now. If you liked it, please let me know your thoughts.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	6. Chapter 6

Daryl made his way to Y/N’s house, two rabbits in his bag. He had caught three, despite Aaron having been following him and almost getting himself killed before Daryl realized it was him and not a threat. He was a bit surprised, but he hadn’t minded the other man company…he seemed a good man. He didn’t know shit about hunting, though, but Daryl had caught the rabbits anyway.

He had given one to Aaron, who liked rabbit too, and he had told Daryl something about some kind of party Deanna was hosting to welcome his people. It sounded all kinds of strange and like nothing Daryl wanted to do, yet Aaron had said he could at least just try…and Rick and Carol wanted him to integrate…Daryl didn’t know what to do. Maybe he should go, but he felt like it was the last thing he wanted to do. A fancy party, full of those people who looked at him like that…he would make a fool out of himself…they’d gossip…he really needed to stop overthinking.

He was going to give another rabbit to Y/N, and then he’d go home and get the other ready while he thought about that damn party and what to do.

Daryl knocked on Y/N’s door and he heard some voices from inside and footsteps as if someone was running. The door opened and Jane looked at him from inside, cheeks pink as if she had indeed run to open. Her hair was combed into an intricate-looking braid on one side of her head, but on the other side her hair was down.

“Hi, Daryl!” She grinned.

“Hey, there.” He greeted back, a bit awkward.

“Daryl, hi,” Y/N showed up from behind Jane, looking overwhelmed, comb in hand and wearing a long dress. “We were getting ready for the party.”

“Oh, yeah…the party…” Daryl was aware of how he sounded, but he couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, the party!” Jane sounded as excited as he didn’t. “Dawn and I are going to dance, and also this other friend, Anne.”

“You can dance, then?”

“Yes.” Jane nodded proudly. “Dawn and I have been going to ballet lessons since…” she frowned as if thinking. “Since forever.” Daryl remembered Y/N telling him she wanted to learn how to actually dance, not…not just move her ass as Merle told her when he went to the club. It all came back as he looked at Y/N and flashes of her at the club came to his mind. He looked away, trying not to blush. “There’s no lessons here but we keep practicing and we’re teaching Anne,” Jane kept going.

“Alright…”

“You’re coming to the party, right?” Jane asked, eyes as wide as her smile, and Daryl didn’t know what to say.

“I…well…I don’t know…”

“But you gotta come!”

“Sweetheart,” Y/N gave him an apologetic look, and Daryl wanted to tell her she didn’t have to. “Why don’t you go get your things ready for the party and then I finish combing your hair? Please?”

“Okay!” Jane nodded. “See you at the party, Daryl!” she said before rushing back inside.

“Sorry about that…” Y/N apologized. “She’s just…curious and excited about meeting someone new, from outside, even more so because she knows you were my friend…and she’s also excited about dancing at the party, Deanna’s being kind asking the kids to dance, they’re all really excited, so…yeah.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” Daryl assured her. “She’s a nice kid.”

“She is,” Y/N gave him a smile that made him smile too even though he didn’t realize it. “That party doesn’t sound like your kind of thing, though…” Once again, she seemed to know him so well, years later.

“It ain’t…” He sighed. “But I don’t know…maybe I should go…don’t know what to do…”

“Just do what feels right, don’t force yourself into anything. You still got time to think about it. But if you feel like dropping by…well, I’ll be there…if you need me to save you from some nosy guests…”

She chuckled and Daryl knew she was joking, yet the idea of nosy and gossipy guests made him nervous, more than nervous. “Got you a rabbit,” he said, changing the topic, as he took the rabbit from his bag and handed it to her.

“Uh…thanks…” Y/N blinked at the dead rabbit. “Sorry, I sounded like such an ungrateful ass. Thank you, Daryl, really.”

“You don’t know how to get it ready.” It just dawned on him now.

“Well…you always brought them already cleaned and cut and all back then…” She shrugged, seeming a bit embarrassed. “And I’ve never done it myself…so…yeah…”

“I can show you, if you want, if you got time,” Daryl said before he could overthink it, but once he did he began to backtrack. “Or I can get it ready and give it to you later…or tomorrow.”

“I got the time, I think. I’d like you to show me how to do it, so I can learn. If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind…” Daryl shrugged, feeling a bit shy all of a sudden.

“Okay.” Y/N smiled. “Come in, then.”

Daryl followed her inside and to the kitchen bashfully, feeling a bit like intruding into her home, even though Y/N was welcoming him.

“Sure you don’t need to be getting ready?” He murmured as he placed the rabbit on the counter and took out his knife.

“There’s plenty of time.” Y/N shrugged, getting closer to watch as he began to skin the rabbit. She grimaced but didn’t look away, and suddenly it came to Daryl’s mind how upset she had been when she saw him killing a rabbit, all that time ago, and how he’d tried not to kill anything in front of her.

“Don’t get too close, don’t wanna stain your clothes if you’re going to that party.”

“Yeah, this is like my only dress…” Y/N chuckled, taking a step back.

“How have you survived this long without getting your own meat ready?”

“Canned food’s good…” Y/N shrugged and Daryl looked at her, arching an eyebrow. “Okay, it’s not as good, but is convenient. Most our food here is canned, and when we get fresh meat, there’s these woman, Laura, that cuts it and gets it ready.”

“You really don’t grow nothing?” They had had big orchards and pots every damn where in the prison, so they’d be able to feed themselves, along with the fresh meat, so they didn’t have to rely on runs and on canned food that would run out sooner or later.

“I guess no one of us is much of a farmer…”

Daryl scoffed, shaking his head in disbelieve. Not much of farmers…or hunters…or fighters, it seemed, he was sure by now that almost nobody in there could handle a weapon. Neither they had people on patrol along the walls, not even taking watch…he was once again hit by the wonder of how this big community could have lasted and survived this long. Must be pretty lucky. He didn’t like the idea of Y/N living in there like that, though, it made him feel uneasy.

It wasn’t only that their canned food would run out at some point, places were getting empty, but more important, they could run out of luck and be attacked by another group, as it happened to his family, or by a herd of walkers, and walls would protect them only to some point…they could protect them from walkers, perhaps, if they had people on watch to see it and they cleared them on time before they were too many…but from people…he wasn’t that sure, all walls had weak points… Changes needed to be done in Alexandria, for its own good, Rick was right on that, but it wasn’t Daryl’s place to do anything about it, or that’s how he felt…though he felt like doing something to improve Y/N’s safety, and her kid’s…he couldn’t help it.

“You’re right, though. We should do something about it. I really think you and your people are going to be a great improvement for our community, I knew it, Aaron and Deanna too,” Y/N said, smiling. “You’re gonna help us make this place so much better.”

Yeah…but maybe the way in which Rick was thinking about doing it wasn’t exactly what Deanna had in mind. Or Y/N. Daryl looked at her…she was grinning to him and Daryl couldn’t make himself say anything about it. He still didn’t know if everything wasn’t in his head…Rick wouldn’t do nothing bad to these, kind of stupid, people. Sure he didn’t mean it like that. He should stop worrying about it and just straight-up talk with Rick and Carol about it. He just hummed, focusing back to the rabbit.

Daryl had started gutting de rabbit and cutting it up when Jane walked into the kitchen, dropping a bag on the table and wearing a purple dress over white leggings, as if she was ready to leave, though still only half of his hair was ready.

“That’s gross,” she said, though she stopped at his other side, standing on tiptoes to watch him work, seeming really interested.

“Where do I put it?” Daryl asked once he had finished getting the meat ready to cook, and Y/N took out a container form a cupboard, handing it to him.

“You should cook it,” Jane pointed.

“Nah, your mom will cook it when you’re gonna eat it, it’s better that way.”

“She doesn’t like to cook…” Jane shrugged and Daryl smirked when he heard Y/N groaning in embarrassment. “I’m not going to say she doesn’t cook well…but she’s always saying it.”

“Sure she can handle this.” Daryl looked at Y/N, his smirk growing. “You can roast it, or you can stew it and it’ll last longer, that’s how we usually do it.”

“Are you a cook?” Jane asked and Daryl looked at her dumbfounded, but Y/N plainly snorted, making him look at her and frown.

“Ain’t no cook, kid…but don’t know why she’s laughing that much, used to dine on what I cooked for her.”

“You cooked for her?” Jane asked and Daryl hummed a yes, the memories of sharing food with Y/N while they talked making him feel bittersweet weird things.

“Yeah, he did, and I think I watched him roasting food on a campfire enough to be able to handle that rabbit,” Y/N said as he placed the container into the fridge.

“On a campfire?” Jane asked, wide-eyed. “Can we cook it like that?”

“I think I trust myself more around a stove than a campfire.” Y/N snorted.

“But Daryl can cook it…” Jane looked at him, taking him by surprise.

“Jane…” Y/N warned.

“Yeah…maybe I could…” Daryl found himself saying, surprising even himself.

Jane grinned and Y/N bit her lip as it curled into a smile. “Alright…it’s time I finished combing your hair,” she said, pointing at Jane to sit on the table.

Daryl washed his hands in the sink and then turned to watch as Y/N braided the other side of Jane’s head and then pinned the braids into buns. He stood there, unsure if he should leave now or what he should do, feeling a bit awkward.

“I, uh…I got another rabbit to get ready at home…”

“Okay, but you’ll come later, right?”

“Jane,” Y/N warned again. “Leave him alone.”

“Okay…” The girl looked down, pouting, and Daryl felt a stab in his heart, but he was still feeling awkward, and the idea of the party made him nervous and uncomfortable.

“I gotta go…”

“I’ll walk you to the door,” Y/N nodded. “Jane, make sure you have all you need in your bag, and we’re leaving, okay?”

“Okay.”

They walked to the door in silence, and Daryl didn’t know why he felt so awkward about saying goodbye. Y/N gave him an embarrassed smile. “Thank you for the rabbit, Daryl, and for getting it ready for us. And…sorry about that. Jane’s just, really excited about the party, I told you…”

“Don’t need to apologize. Told you she’s a nice kid.” Daryl shrugged and Y/N smiled brighter, making him feel weird things.

“I’ll see you later, or tomorrow…if you want.”

Daryl nodded, chewing on his lip. “I’ll see you later, maybe…”

“Just do as you feel, don’t worry too much about a silly party.

“Okay…”

Daryl began walking away…at least he could do as Aaron had said, and try…

*

He did try. Took a damn shower, put on clean clothes. Walked all the way to Deanna’s place, and then…then he couldn’t get himself to get in. He could see people through the window, drinking and talking. He wondered what was Y/N doing…was she talking to his family? He knew they were at the party. Were they getting along? He hoped they weren’t interrogating her, now that they knew they used to know each other. Had Jane danced already?

Daryl felt bad about letting down the little girl, but he just couldn’t get himself to move. He felt nerves clutching his stomach, making it hard to breathe. He didn’t want to get in and pretend to be something he wasn’t. He knew he wouldn’t be able to just mingle, talk with the people as nothing…and those people, they were just, so…so normal and yet strange at the same time. But even if he just walked in and didn’t talk or move, they’d approach him anyway, tried to talk to him…or they’d look at him in that way, thinking all those things about him, gossiping…

He couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

Taking a deep breath, since his lungs feelt like they were closed and burning, Daryl turned around and retreated. He was embarrassed. He felt like such an idiot. It was just a party. Just a damn party. Besides, his family would be there, and Y/N would be there…but he couldn’t.

It seemed he wasn’t the only one, though, and somehow he ended up having dinner with Aaron and Eric in their place, who didn’t seem much into mingling with people either, and Daryl surprised himself actually enjoying it. How in the hell those people managed to have not only spagetty but also wine, he didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to complain. He could do with some alcohol…and the pasta was damn good, he didn’t remember the last time he’d had something so good. And Aaron and Eric…they were actually nice people. Maybe all those Alexandrians weren’t that bad, though they didn’t seem like most of the people in there. Maybe ‘cause they knew how the reality was outside, or maybe they were just nice in general.

The surprises, actually good surprises for once, didn’t end there. Aaron happened to have a garage full of bike pieces, and pieces that he seemed to think were from bikes but weren’t. You could build a bike with that, and apparently, that had been Aaron’s idea, but he had no idea about how to do it…and somehow he’d guessed Daryl could. Daryl was still confused and surprised about how Aaron seemed to know him, even if they had just met. It was…confusing…it made him nervous, but it made him feel sort of comfort too, in this weird place where he felt out of place, and where he’d started to feel a bit out of touch with his family too…

Aaron kept surprising him with that way of knowing him, since he offered him a job with him, getting out of Alexandria and recruiting people, helping those in need. If he fixed the bike, then it was Daryl’s, and he would ride it whenever they went out. How Aaron knew that he actually liked to help people in need, take them into safety, since he’d begun doing it with Glenn at the prison, Daryl didn’t know. But getting a new bike, getting to go out of Alexandria, riding…it sounded like the best news ever, and Daryl was beyond grateful. He didn’t know how to properly thank Aaron, though, he felt nervous and awkward, but Aaron seemed to catch the sentiment anyway.

Daryl began tinkering with the pieces…it would take him more than a day, probably two, full time, but he didn’t mind, he was glad to have something to do, something to keep him occupied. He wondered if maybe Aaron didn’t want him to start working now, in the middle of the night, but it didn’t seem like so. He’d grabbed a stool and watched him work without bothering, just popping questions here and there.

They had left the door of the garage half open so some air could get in, the night was good and warm, and Daryl hadn’t been working for long when he heard a voice calling for him. “Daryl!” He looked up and saw Jane running to the garage, Y/N rushing behind her.

“Hello there, Jane,” Aaron greeted, grinning at the little girl. “Didn’t know you knew each other.”

“We met before, and you don’t know it? He was my mom’s friend, years ago!”

“Oh, yeah?” Aaron looked from the kid to him with curiosity, but he showed again an understanding of him, and didn’t ask about it. Daryl was grateful. Not that he wanted to keep it secret or nothing, but it made him a bit awkward still.

“Hey, Aaron, sorry,” Y/N had caught up with them, she greeted him and then looked at Daryl, and he noticed how her lips curled into a smile as if she couldn’t help it. It made him feel all weird. “Daryl,” she greeted, but he could just nod and look down.

“Don’t be sorry, Y/N, it’s good to see you both.”

“What you doing?” Jane asked, standing next to Daryl on tiptoes to see what he was working on.

“Putting a bike together, Aaron has enough pieces.”

“Putting a bike together?! Can you really do that?!” Jane looked at him wide-eyed, seeming all impressed, and Daryl couldn’t help his bashful smile.

“Sure he can!” Y/N said. “I’ve actually ridden on a bike that he’d put together! It was so good!”

“Woah…”

Daryl couldn’t have stopped the memories even if he wanted. Y/N had seemed so impressed back then, too. He remembered how proud it had made him feel…and then she’d liked his bike and he didn’t remember feeling that good about himself before. He’d taken her riding quite a few times, her arms around him, hugging him, making him feel all kind of good things, as they rode to nowhere…The memories were sweet, good, and yet they made his heart hurt.

“Yeah,” Y/N was smiling and she seemed to be remembering too. Daryl though her smile was kind of bittersweet, but he wasn’t sure. “How cool is that?”

“So cool…” Jane whispered, seeming in awe, and Daryl felt like hiding but he felt proud too.

“So you knew each other then?” Eric asked from the door, seeming to have come out at hearing the voices.

“Yeah, we’re from the same town, actually, we were…we were good friends.” Y/N nodded, biting her lip and blushing. “Hadn’t seen each other for like…seventeen years or more.”

“And now you’ve met again here…that’s unbelievable!” Eric smiled.

“It is! I still can’t believe it…but I…I’m really glad of it…” Y/N’s smile was a grin now, even though she still seemed bashful, and Daryl himself felt too shy to say anything.

“I can bet! By the way, we have some leftover pasta, want me to give you some?”

“Yes, please! That’s mt favorite meal ever!” Jane said before Y/N could say anything.

“Darling, you kind of made me feel twice in a day that I can’t cook for sh-” Y/N began joking and then she bit her lip, and Daryl couldn’t help himself from smirking when she noticed her stopping herself before saying ‘for shit’. “That I can’t cook at all.”

“Come on, mum! It’s you who say that! And Eric’s spaghetti is the best in the world!”

“It is,” Daryl agreed, and he couldn’t help his smile when Jane grinned at him.

“How was that dancing, Jane?” Aaron asked.

“It was good, Anne danced like she’s been learning for longer, and we didn’t forget the choreography we made.”

“Bet Dawn and you are good teachers.”

“Maybe…and you didn’t come!” The girl pointed an accusatory finger at Aaron and Eric before looking back at Daryl. “You neither.”

“We’ll see you the next time, promised,” Eric assured.

“Yeah, me too, sunshine.” The term of endearment left Daryl’s lips without him realizing it, he couldn’t help himself. He blushed red to his ears, feeling embarrassed and ready for the earth to swallow him. Nobody said anything about it, though, much to his relief.

Daryl kept working on the bike while Aaron, Eric, and Y/N spoke, though he felt Y/N’s eyes on him more often than not, and he noticed the smile that played on her lips every time he peeked at her. Jane asked him questions here and there, pointing at pieces, and Daryl ended up lifting her up to sit her on the table, next to the pieces, much to her happiness.

It might be surprising and certainly not what he had expected when he’d left the house, but Daryl found himself feeling content…he was actually enjoying himself. He didn’t remember the last time he felt that good. He got a bike, he was going to get out of Alexandria, he’d found people who weren’t bad, who were kind of nice, in that weird place. Y/N was there, his Y/N, and she made him feel all weird, and the memories hurt, and yet…yet he couldn’t help himself from smiling now when he looked at her, the soft smile in her face as she watched him explaining stuff to her kid, a kid that Daryl couldn’t help but like, as Jane pointed to pieces here and there.

Yes, it was good…and Daryl tried his best to not overthink it for once, and just enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fluff was strong…please, let me know your thoughts if you liked it.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	7. Chapter 7

Daryl worked on the bike for a good couple of hours, but he didn’t feel tired, his mind focused on the task instead of being worrying or overthinking, enjoying the work, enjoying even Jane’s questions and the background sound of Y/N, Aaron and Eric speaking, even joining them from time to time.

It wasn’t until Y/N said that she and Jane had to go home since it was getting very late, that Daryl realized how late it actually was. Deanna’s house was dark, everybody seemed to have gone home already, and he couldn’t hear anyone around. They hadn’t complained, but he thought he might be making Aaron and Eric stay up late, working on their garage.

Daryl offered to walk Y/N and Jane home. He knew it was silly, Alexandria was safe, they were behind walls, nothing would happen to them walking back at home late, and yet he couldn’t help himself from wanting to make sure. Y/N didn’t seem to mind, though, smiling to him, while Jane seemed to be quite happy about it. Why the little girl wanted so much to talk to him, Daryl didn’t know, but he didn’t find it annoying or overwhelming, much to his surprise.

As they walked, he noticed Jane yawning and walking slowly, clutching at Y/N’s hand, seeming tired, and so Daryl stopped and crouched down in front of her. “Hop up,” he told her, and the little girl grinned when she realized he was offering her a piggyback ride.

“You don’t need to,” Y/N began, but Jane was already climbing to his back and holding onto his shoulders, and Daryl got up and began walking again, noticing how Y/N bit her lip as it curled into a smile in that way that made him feel all weird. “Thanks.”

“Are you a mechanic?” Jane asked as they walked back to the house, her chin resting on his shoulder, and Daryl turned his head to frown at her. “That’s how you know how to build a bike?”

“Ain’t no mechanic…” He grumbled.

“Yet he can put a bike together as if nothing,” Y/N said, smiling.

“Cool…I could learn, maybe, watching you…” Jane said, sounding thoughtful and taking Daryl aback, though it reminded him to Y/N watching him in silence as he made campfires and cooked, trying to learn, like that morning when he got the rabbit ready.

“That’d be more useful than working in a pantry for sure,” Y/N murmured with a sigh, and Daryl looked at her…he couldn’t help but wonder if she was thinking low of herself. The idea made him frown. She’d gone to the city, got a life there, got a kid…whereas he’d been nothing. The fact that he could hunt or fix a bike didn’t change that, but sure, it was useful in that new world. Certainly more useful than being good at singing. Beth could tell…the memory of Maggie’s little sister came to Daryl’s mind and he rushed to push it down, it hurt.

“Ain’t that hard…” He muttered, unsure of what to say.

“You already look like you’ve been working on it, though.” Y/N chuckled as she looked at Jane, and just then Daryl noticed the grease stains on the kid’s hands from when he had let her tinker with a piece, and some more stains on her face from when she had touched it with her dirty hands. Sure he looked like that too. He couldn’t help his smile.

They soon reached Y/N’s place and he lowered Jane down. The little girl grinned at him, looking sleepy but also strangely full of energy. Daryl wondered if she ever got really tired.

“Thank you!”

“Yeah, thanks, Daryl,” Y/N opened the door and smiled at him. “For walking us here and everything.”

“Ain’t nothing…” He murmured, feeling a bit self-conscious.

“Okay, sweetheart, change your clothes and get ready for bed. But wash that grease off your face and hands first.”

“Alright.” Jane grinned at Daryl again. “Good night, Daryl.”

“Night, sunshine.” There it was again, that word, without Daryl being able to stop it. He felt utterly embarrassed but when he looked at Y/N, it didn’t seem like she was going to say anything about it or laugh at it. Jane grinned even bigger and she disappeared into the house.

“Same goes to you, you look even worse than her,” Y/N joked and Daryl snorted, staring at his grease-stained fingers because looking at her made him feel weird things. “Thank you again. Jane seems to really like you, so thanks for bearing with her.”

“She’s a good kid,” he murmured, shrugging. She was, and Daryl didn’t know why she had taken a liking on him, when she had just met him.

“You’re good with her,” Y/N said and Daryl shrugged again. When he peeked at Y/N, she was smiling in a way that made him want to run away and filled his belly with weird twirls. “She’s not going to let you forget that you didn’t go to see her dance, though,” Y/N joked and Daryl snorted.

“Couldn’t get myself to go to that damn party. I tried…” He was still embarrassed about it. “You always said you wanted to learn to dance,” the words came out of his mouth without him really meaning to, it had just been a thought, a memory at the back of his head, during all the day, and it slipped now.

“Yeah, and I never did, so I signed up my kid to ballet lessons and became one of those adults who live through their kids,” Y/N said, Daryl wasn’t sure if she was joking or not, but she was smiling even though she seemed a bit bashful. “I even got Nora to sign up Dawn too.” Her smile turned sad “Nora got another kid, Lisa, she’s thirteen now, but she didn’t like ballet. She’s here too, safe.”

“Lisa like in Elisabeth?”

“Yeah.” Y/N nodded.

“Maggie’s little sister…we called her Beth. She was…she’s dead, I…it’s my fault…She was a good kid and she…” He didn’t know why he was saying all that to Y/N but he couldn’t stop it, and his heart stung again. “You’d have liked her. She liked to sing too, she was good at it, like you…”

Y/N was looking at him with a soft smile, and Daryl could see that somehow, she could feel he was hurting. He was embarrassed by it, and he didn’t know why he’d told her about Beth, but he did his best to push the memories down again. Y/N reached out to gently and shyly hold his hand, and warmth spread through Daryl at it, along with more of those weird feelings.

“I’m sure I’d have liked her.”

“Do you still sing?” He asked, once again unable to stop himself, and he hated it when Y/N’s smile turned sad.

“No…not really…I sing to Jane sometimes…and sometimes when I’m alone at the pantry…but no, not as I used too.”

“Oh.” Daryl realized how disappointed he sounded and he wanted to slap himself, he was saying the wrong thing again, but he couldn’t help it. He could see her in her memory, seventeen years ago, singing…her life wasn’t easy, yet when she sang she looked so carefree, so happy, always a smile on her face, Daryl loved it. It would be a pity if she didn’t sign anymore.

He wanted to ask if she had stopped singing when the dead began to walk, of she had stopped before. He wanted her to tell him about the city, if she had made it, if she had worked as a singer there as she’d wanted, or if she’d stopped singing there. He didn’t know how to do it, though, what to say, and before he could say anything, Jane’s voice came from inside.

“Ready!”

“Okay, sweetheart,” Y/N let go of his hand, turning to answer through the open door. “I’ll be there in a minute.” She looked back at Daryl. “I…I have to go.”

“Okay.”

“Can I…can I ask you something?” She bit her lip. “Sorry, no, forget it.”

“No, come on, say it.” Daryl frowned at her, wondering what was she thinking.

“Maggie’s sister…why…why you say it was your fault?”

Her words hurt like a bolt piercing through his heart, but he tried not to show it. “Cause it was…our home was destroyed,” that had been his fault too, for stopping going out with Michonne to find the Governor, for thinking him gone, for not finding him and stopping him on time. “And we had to run away, we got separated, Beth was with me, we escaped together…I was an asshole to her…you know how I can be…”

“Daryl, you’re not an asshole,” Y/N interrupted him, but Daryl ignored her.

“And I lost her, some people kidnapped her. And we went for her but they killed her, and I did nothing, just let her get kidnapped and let her die.” How Maggie didn’t blame him, how was she still his friend, Daryl didn’t know.

“You haven’t changed in that, either,” Y/N said softly, making him frown at her. “Beating your self for things that aren’t your fault.” Daryl didn’t say anything. She didn’t understand. It was his fault. “Look, I…I gotta go, but we’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?” Daryl nodded and Y/N smiled in a way that made him feel all weird again. “Okay…goodnight.”

“Night.”

Daryl had just walked down the stairs of the porch when he heard Jane’s voice. “Good night, Daryl! Night!” He looked up and saw her at her window, head out of it, waving at him, and he couldn’t help himself from smiling and waving back.

“You’re gonna wake all the street.” He heard Y/N’s voice and she saw her walking behind Jane, smiling and waving at him too before pulling the little girl inside.

*

The house was dark and quiet when he walked in. Everyone had taken a room, but he still felt out of place…the idea if sleeping once again in that windowsill didn’t feel that tempting, though, not now that he felt more or less safe in Alexandria. He decided to push the sofa against the window, so he could still look through it, but that he could lie down and rest for a bit.

He was sure his mind was going to be plagued with thoughts, about his family and Rick’s plan, about Alexandria, about Y/N and Jane, so he couldn’t sleep…but he surprised himself closing his eyes and falling asleep, his body realizing for the first time how tired it was, now that he was allowing himself to lie down on something…

_…Those woods weren’t his woods, but Daryl recognized them anyway, it wasn’t the first time he was there. He was sat down on the ground and Y/N was lying down next to him on her belly, her chin rested on her hand as she watched the sunset. She looked at him and smiled._

_“If I wouldn’t have to go to that damn club, we could camp here, watch the stars… doesn’t it sound good?”_

_“Doesn’t sound bad.” Daryl shrugged as if disinterested, but it did sound good, really good, camping with Y/N, the two of them alone in the middle of nowhere, lying down next to each other…It made him nervous, but at the same time he wanted it so bad. It couldn’t be, not that night at least, she had to work, and anyway, Daryl knew it was best that way…it would only feed the butterflies that he was trying to kill. “Come on.” He got up and reached out to help Y/N onto her feet. “We have to get back or you’re gonna be late.”_

_They went to his bike and Y/N got situated behind him, wrapping his arms around him and snuggling to him more than what was necessary, not that Daryl would complain. “You gotta teach me how to ride,” she said, surprising him._

_“What?”_

_“Teach me how to ride? Please?”_

_“Ain’t sure…”_

_“Come on, Daryl, please…it’s just…it’s like flying…please…”_

_“I’ll think about it…” Daryl murmured, turning on the engine and driving them both back to town._

_She got her way, in the end. The dream changed and now they were in one of the paths of the woods outside the town, a clear, not bumpy one, and it was him who was behind Y/N on the bike. His arms weren’t wrapped around her waist, though, but around her, so he could hold the handler of the bike, maneuver it and control the speed if needed. He liked it, having her in his arms like that, pressed against his chest, but he tried to ignore those thoughts and feelings, and focus on the task on hand._

_“Alright, turn on the engine, slow…”_

_Y/N did as instructed and the bike jerked forwards, but Daryl kept it balanced. “Woah…”_

_“Told you to do it slow.” Daryl snorted._

_“Thought that was slow…”_

_Daryl remembered, sort of remembered, that they had spent a while just like that, until Y/N was used to the feeling, but in his dream suddenly they were already riding through the path, slow. He was giving Y/N some autonomy, but he was controlling the bike more than what she could probably realize, he couldn’t help himself. Y/N stopped the bike and turned so she could smile at him with bright eyes._

_“This is…so fun, and it’s so like flying…but I’m sure I couldn’t do it without you.” She chuckled._

_“Then don’t.” He sounded needy, he could hear it, and he hated it. It embarrassed him, but he couldn’t help it. He liked it, to ride with her behind him, her arms around him…if she learned how to ride, then she could go by herself, without him anymore…the thought was so silly, even Daryl could see it. She didn’t even have a damn bike._

_“You really don’t want me to learn how to ride?” She pouted and Daryl had to admit he was being ridiculous._

_“Ain’t that…we’ll keep practicing.”_

_She grinned at him, turning even more on the bike to sneak her arms around his neck, and Daryl’s heart beat faster. “Good, because I really want to learn to ride by myself so I can ditch you and go to places alone,” she teased as if somehow she’d read his mind and silly thoughts, as sometimes she seemed to do. “Like…you know I only put up with you for that, it’s not that I like to spend all my free time with you…”_

_Daryl scoffed, swallowing hard as she pressed even closer to him. One of her hands lifted to stroke his hair, fingers running through it, and Daryl couldn’t help but lean into her touch. She then trailed her fingers down his cheekbone that was still a bit bruised, caressing it softly. She bit her lip as she looked at him, her smile gone, looking at him in a way…_

_Daryl wanted to kiss her so much that it actually hurt him. They were on his bike, his arms around her as she looked at him intently and he wanted to kiss her so bad, he thought he wouldn’t be able to control himself. She cupped his cheek, leaning in, and Daryl thought maybe she was going to kiss him. It wasn’t that long since she’d done him, kissed him that night at her house after that prick tried to hurt her. Daryl knew he should stop her now as he had done back then, he had told her why, told her the reason why they couldn’t do this…and yet, if she kissed him now, he knew he couldn’t get himself to stop her…_

_Y/N didn’t kiss him, though. Instead, she held her forehead against his and Daryl closed his eyes. It hurt almost even more than a kiss and yet he couldn’t pull away. She moved back first, looking at him with sad eyes, eyes so sad that Daryl hated it, and Daryl knew she was thinking and feeling exactly the same as him._

_She let out a sigh and hid her face on the crook of his shoulder for a couple of seconds. When she looked at him again, she still seemed sad, but she tried to smile, and she caressed his face softly again. “Come on, I…I made some sandwiches…” Daryl noticed her trying to sound cheerful, and then when she moved away he had to stop himself from reaching out to hold her close again. “I’m not sure how they turned out…but you gotta eat them and say they are good…” she joked softly._

_“I’m sure they’re good…”_

The dream started to fade and Daryl fought it, he didn’t want to wake up, he wanted to stay there…he couldn’t help it, though, the dream getting further and further away as he slipped back into consciousness. Daryl sat up on the sofa. He could see the sky still dark through the window, but the sun was starting to slowly rise at the east.

He felt…strange. The dream was still in his mind, and those residual feelings of bitterness…no, they weren’t bitter, they were bittersweet, of love, but broke his heart too, all those feelings were still going through him. He didn’t know what to feel. He didn’t even know how he felt. He dared to wonder if he maybe, maybe, he still liked Y/N like that, a bit like he had done back then…or if those were just the memories of the feeling.

It was all too confusing, the thoughts and feelings were overwhelming, and he didn’t know what to do. Seventeen years that felt like a whole life had come and gone, and yet…yet he saw her as his friend, a good one who he could trust, despite the years, he had been unable to stop himself from sharing things with her, personal thoughts and feelings, as he did back then, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about her all the time, from wanting to see her, talk to her, spend time with her.

He liked her, yeah, she was nice and fun, and a good friend still, Daryl wanted to be his friend again, but…but did he like her like he did back then? He wasn’t sure…but she made him feel all those weird things…the idea was scary, though. And Y/N…what did she think about him? How did she feel? That was even scarier…

Daryl groaned, running a hand through his hair, trying to stop his wild thoughts.

A door opened and closed softly, and not much later Carol walked into the living room, spotting him awake and sitting down on the sofa. He knew she didn’t sleep much either, she usually went to sleep as late as him and wake up as early as him.

“Hey,” She greeted softly, sitting down next to him, and Daryl hummed a greeting. “I got some guns last night, we’re meeting with Rick later outside again to talk.” Daryl just hummed again…he wasn’t sure if he liked where that conversation might go. He found himself overthinking things again, nothing was going to happen, they just needed the guns for protection, because he had seen how those Alexandrians didn’t seem able to protect themselves. It wasn’t like they were going to take their home from them at gunpoint…nah…

Rick wasn’t like that…Carol wasn’t like that…

And yet, he felt uneasy at the idea of carrying a gun in there, especially with nobody else knowing about it. He didn’t like this secrecy at all.

“You didn’t come to the party.”

“Ain’t my thing…”

“Y/N was there, we talked with her a bit…don’t worry, we didn’t interrogate her or nothing like that.” She chuckled as if noticing the panic in Daryl’s eyes. “She got a pretty cute kid.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“She asked about you, the kid, was waiting for you. Then she seemed pretty convinced she could teach Judith how to dance, despite the fact that she doesn’t know how to walk yet.” Daryl snorted, he couldn’t help his smile at that, he could see it. “What’s going on then, with Y/N and you?”

Daryl frowned, turning defensive. “What you mean? Nothing’s going on. She’s my friend.”

“Well, that’s good, she seems like a good woman.”

“She is.”

“Then we all should meet some time, get to know her properly…”

Daryl just hummed, he wasn’t sure he looked forward to it. Not that he didn’t love his family, he loved them more than himself, but he didn’t want them overwhelming Y/N, especially not when he still felt so weird around her.

“You weren’t here when I went to sleep last night, it was late.” Carol arched an eyebrow at him, smirking, and Daryl didn’t know what was she hoping he’d answer.

“I had dinner with Aaron and Eric. Aaron has a bike for me to put together, so I can work with him recruiting people.”

“Look who landed himself a job.” Carol chuckled. “Do you want to?”

“Yeah…yeah, I think so.”

“Good…it seems you’re integrating here, aren’t you?” Carol teased and Daryl blushed. “Who would have expected it…”

Daryl just shrugged. He didn’t feel integrated, he still felt out of place and the way in which people looked at him made him want to crawl out of his skin, hell, he was dying to get out of there. But at least he wasn’t walking around with a gun and thinking ways of taking over Alexandria if it didn’t submit. If that was what Carol and Rick were trying to do…but maybe it was all in his head…and he really should stop overthinking everything, because he was giving himself a headache.

Why everything had to be so complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got some more Daryl, Y/N and Jane time together, and also some memories for scenes that I didn’t get to write in “First and Last”, please, let me know your thoughts if you liked it.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	8. Chapter 8

Daryl was again working on the bike. After meeting with Carol and Rick, he’d hunt for a bit and then he had come back, headed straight to the garage. He’d get the squirrels ready later, give some to Y/N…he wanted to see her and talk to her, but it also scared him and made him nervous, the images and feelings of his dream the night before were still in him.

As if he had summoned her, Y/N stopped in front of the half-closed garage door, though he could only see Jane’s face, the door covering Y/N from the chest up.

“Hi, Daryl!” The little girl greeted, grinning, and then Y/N bent and peeked inside too.

“Hi, we thought you might be here again.” She smiled and Daryl looked away, trying not to feel…whatever she made him feel. He didn’t say anything,but yeah, she was right, where he could be if it wasn’t there…he still didn’t feel like he belonged in Alexandria, but in that garage he felt he had a place to be, he didn’t feel out of place with Aaron and Eric…or with Y/N… Had she really come to see him? Did she want to see him and talk to him? There they were, those damn twirls in his stomach…“We don’t want to bother you, though…”

“Ain’t no bother, come in.” He grumbled, and Jane was rushing inside, stopping next to him to watch him work.

“I’m going to say hi to Aaron and Eric first.”

By the time Y/N was back, Jane was sat down on the dusty floor as he was working now there instead of on the table, some pieces were more or less ready and he wanted to start building up the bike. Somehow, he had managed to get grease on Jane’s face again, but Y/N didn’t seed to mind, as he walked in with Eric.

“I was telling Y/N that you all should stay for lunch.”

“And I was telling him he doesn’t have to bother.”

“And I was telling her that is no bother,” Eric laughed. “We would really like to have you, you too Daryl. I got a free day today, and so does Y/N, there’s no school today, Aaron’s not going out until you finish that bike…so I’d say, we could get all together before that. You work so much I’m sure you two will be riding out Alexandria in a day or two…” Eric let out a sigh, but he kept smiling.

“Are we going to have spaghetti again?” Jane asked.

“I uh…I got some squirrels…” Daryl hadn’t realized he wanted to stay for lunch until he spoke…he hadn’t even thought about lunch, he had just thought about spending as much time as possible working on that bike, focusing only on that so his mind would be clear of thoughts. He hadn’t thought about going back to his new place until the evening, his family seemed to be all the time out and about in Alexandria after all, especially since most of them had jobs already

“I’ve never had squirrels.” Jane looked at him with wide eyes.

“Me neither!” Eric chimed in.

“I have!” Y/N grinned. “With him, he cooked squirrels a lot of times.”

“Woah…” Jane’s eyes were now on her mother. “Are they good?”

“Yeah, pretty good…Daryl really can cook.” Y/N smiled to him and he blushed, scoffing and shaking his head.

“Okay, we’re having squirrel them!”

*

It wasn’t awkward, like Daryl had half expected, even though he kind of felt at ease with Aaron, Eric, Jane and Y/N. He’d been nervous when cooking, feeling all their eyes on him, even if he knew they were just interested in learning how to get squirrels ready. He thought they might have noticed it, because they had moved away to talk, leaving only Jane to watch him, and somehow he didn’t feel bothered or overwhelmed by all her questions.

But then, Eric had to start asking questions. Daryl should have seen it coming.

“So, how you two met? You were friends in your old town, right?”

Daryl looked at Y/N. He didn’t know what to say. Did they know she was a stripper? Did she want them to know? Did she want to hide it? He should let Y/N answer that, but he began to panic and spoke before she could.

“I was out hunting and found her in the woods.”

Y/N snorted. “Sounds like I was a lost child or something, Daryl.” He shrugged, blushing. “But yeah, I was taking a walk, and we bumped into each other…yeah, I’d say that’s the first time we _really_ met.”

She smirked, looking at him, and Daryl wondered what she was thinking. He guessed she was right, though. The first time they had seen each other had been at the club, and they hadn’t really met…having Merle trying to get him a private show with Y/N and him running away, nah, they hadn’t really met, not until he found the real her at the woods. The memories of that night at the club made him blush, seventeen years later, and look away from Y/N.

“And so, we talked, and then we talked some more, and we become friends,” Y/N kept talking. “Good friends. I had no family or friends and Daryl took care of me…” He glanced at her and she was smiling softly at him, eyes soft too even though a bit sad. She was looking at him with such fondness, as if time hadn’t passed, Daryl felt those weirds feelings in his belly again and his throat tightened.

“But if you were good friends, then why you didn’t see each other again in all these years?” Jane’s voice made both Daryl and Y/N look at her.

Daryl didn’t know what to say and he looked at Y/N, but she seemed to be struggling too, opening and closing her mouth without saying anything. She seemed in distress almost and Daryl hated to see her struggling like that, and so he surprised himself taking first again.

“Your mom had to leave the town and go to the city to work.”

Jane frowned at Y/N, seeming confused. “Couldn’t you be a waitress in your town?”

So…so Y/N had worked as a waitress, not a singer? Had she really stopped singing? Or she quitted when Jane was born, maybe a job singing couldn’t support her and a kid, if she had been alone…again, Daryl felt angry against a man he didn’t know, Jane’s dad…he wanted to know who was him, what had happened, but he knew better than to ask.

“I…well…I…actually, there were no cafes or bars hiring at the town, and I…really needed a job and…”

“Our town was shit,” Daryl spoke up, seeing Y/N struggling. “Your mom did well leaving, she had to, if she wanted a real job. You wouldn’t have liked living in that town anyway.” Especially if the father left them and Y/N raised Jane alone in their old shit town, that would have made people gossip like crazy. Though, if Y/N hadn’t left, then maybe…maybe Daryl and her would have been together, and then, maybe…no, no, ending that train of thoughts.

“Then why didn’t you leave with her too?” Jane was innocent, just curious, yet her words were like a dart to the heart. Why indeed.

“I…got my brother at the town, and…stuff…”

“But still, if you were good friends, then it doesn’t matter you didn’t live in the same place! Nora and mom lived in different places for so long too, and they were still best friends! So you could still be friends and see each other sometimes!” Jane still sounded curious, and bit like if Daryl and Y/N were idiots for not having figured that out by themselves. If the situation was different, Daryl might have laughed at her cute tone, but at that moment, he just felt his heart getting heavier and heavier.

He had just wanted to forget her. Because she was his best friend and more than that, the most important person in his life along with his brother, and he didn’t want to let her go, but he had to, because after she left, thinking about her was just too painful, it hurt too much. And so he had just let her go in every way possible, buried her memory and tried not to ever think on her, so he could keep going with his life.

He didn’t know about Y/N, though, about her thoughts and feelings, and so he looked at her to see what she might say, but she looked like crying. Jane noticed too, her smile gone as she looked at her mother with wide, worried eyes.

“I’m going to…I…” Y/N stammered. “I’m going to wash the dishes.”

She disappeared into the kitchen, and probably it wasn’t very subtle on his side, but just a few seconds later he got up, saying he wasn’t going to help her, and he went to the kitchen too. He just couldn’t bear seeing her like that.

“You okay?” He asked her softly.

“Yeah, yeah…” She turned around to face him, rubbing her eyes. “Sorry…I…I’m an idiot, just…”

“No, come on…” Daryl felt very awkward, but he wanted to support her, he felt as if he needed to. “I..I want to cry too, when I think about…back then.” That’s the reason why he never thought about it. Admitting it, though, made him blush and look down, embarrassed.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…” How could she doubt it. She had to know how it had broken his heart.

“You say…you say I did well leaving the town, but sometimes I wonder if maybe it wasn’t one of my biggest mistakes…” She said quietly, and Daryl frowned at her.

“Why?” He asked, and Y/N just shrugged. Maybe because she really didn’t have become a singer? And so she was disappointed in herself for leaving and not achieving what she wanted? She’d have probably had a better life at the town anyway. He couldn’t stop himself from asking. “So…did you make it, as a singer?”

Y/N snorted and looked at him with a sad smile. “Of course I didn’t Daryl. I was a stupid small-town girl with stupid dreams. I realized it pretty quick.”

Daryl had guessed it already, but still, he hated hearing her talk like that. “You ain’t stupid, don’t say that.”

“I was. But I was slapped by reality, for my own good. So, no Daryl, I wasn’t a singer. Told you, I don’t sing that much anymore…” She sounded more sad than bitter, and Daryl felt his heart hurting at her voice. “I worked at the same place, that same café, until the dead began walking. When the owner retired, Nora bought it. So yeah…it wasn’t bad.” She shrugged, and Daryl didn’t know what to say.

Hadn’t she been happy? She had to. And if she hadn’t, if she hadn’t gotten what she wanted from the city, then why she hadn’t come back to the town? Though, why would she. Working on a café at the city, even if it wasn’t her dream, was better than working in that damn club, dealing with assholes, spending her life in that shit town of damn gossipers. And yet…hadn’t she even thought about coming back, with him? He’d have taken care of her, he’d have been there for her, if she was upset about not being working as a singer.

But no, no. She was better at the city, waitress or not. Daryl had known it back then and he knew it now. He had to stop those stupid thoughts.

“I scared Jane…” Y/N let out a sigh, sounding beyond embarrassed. “I should go talk to her…”

“No, wait.” Daryl tried to push down the weird feelings and kicked himself into action. “What if I take her with me to the garage while you stay here with Aaron and Eric?” Maybe they could make her feel better, since he didn’t know how. “I’ll let her tinker with something, she’ll forget about all these in a minute.”

Y/N smiled at him, even though she still seemed sad. “You don’t mind?” Daryl shook his head. “Okay…okay thanks, Daryl, you’re the best.” He felt all weird at her words again, but he just nodded. Y/N reached out as if to hug him or something, but stopped herself, and Daryl found himself feeling disappointed.

He was feeling more than awkward standing there, barely keeping a hold of his emotions, and so he turned away from Y/N and walked back into the dining room.

“Hey Jane, I need help with that bike.”

*

_Daryl couldn’t find Y/N. He heard her voice singing but he couldn’t find her, following her voice as he rushed through changing woods that seemed to be the ones of their town, then the ones at the prison, then back at the quarry, then the woods close to the Greene’s land… But he couldn’t find her anywhere._

_He stopped hearing her voice and dread filled him, somehow he was sure he had lost her forever, he wouldn’t hear her anymore, he wouldn’t see her anymore…_

_…Then he found the clearing, their clearing, and she was there, spinning as she danced around, but when Daryl walked into the clearing it disappeared and Y/N with it, and Daryl felt that lump in his throat again._

_He kept walking and then suddenly he was at Alexandria and Y/N was in front of him. “Tell me to stay and I will,” she whispered, stepping closer to wrap her arms around his shoulders. “Tell me.” Then her lips were on his and Daryl kissed her back greedily, feeling like a lifetime had passed since the last time they kissed. He couldn’t have stopped even if he wanted._

_She’d asked him that, back then, and Daryl hadn’t told her to stay, had watched her go…but now he couldn’t remember why, what were his reasons to not keep her with him, to let her go, all he could think was that he didn’t want to lose her again, that he didn’t want to move away from her…_

_“Stay.”_

_He begged as he went to wrap his arms around her so she couldn’t move away, but as he tried she just disappeared in thin air, as if she had never been there, and that awful feeling of having lost her filled Daryl again. Would he find her again this time? Was she lost to him? Then he heard her voice singing and he desperately followed it, trying to find her again._

_Alexandria fazed and he was back in the woods, though those weren’t woods that he recognized. The voice had stopped signing but he kept looking for Y/N frantically…he couldn’t lose her again, but he didn’t know where she was… Then he found her, sat down on the ground, crying. Silent tears fell down her face and she looked so, so sad, Daryl couldn’t stand it, his heart clenching at the sight. He needed to approach her, to comfort her, to do something…_

_The more he walked towards her, though, the further she seemed to be, the path getting longer and longer so he couldn’t reach her, and she just kept crying…_

Daryl woke up, his breath shallow as glimpses of the dream came to him…he was still filled with those anxious, desperate feelings of looking for Y/N without being able to find her, thinking her lost, thinking he’d never, ever hear her voice, see her face, touch her, ever again…even as his mind began to wake up, he still felt a lump in his throat. Those awful feelings as he could just watch her cry so brokenly while he couldn’t do anything, making his heart clench…

He remembered too, maybe too well, the feeling of her lips on his as they kissed, her arms around him…it made him feel bittersweet, but also much more, made his heart hurt but flutter at the same time…he couldn’t stop it, he could close his eyes and feel her kissing him… All those emotions were overwhelming and he felt he couldn’t breathe…

Shit.

He really needed to sort himself out.

Daryl ran a hand through his hair before rubbing his eyes, trying to wake up completely and send away the remanents of the dream. Put yourself together, Daryl…

He felt as if he were more tired now than when he went to sleep. He’d come back home late, after spending as much time as possible working on the bike, and then it had taken him a while to fall asleep, thinking about Y/N’s words…he guessed that was where the dream had come from. He wished so much to know more about her, about her life at the city, if she had been happy or not, despite her bitterness about her broken dreams of being a singer…

He was curious too about whoever guy was Jane’s father, why he wasn’t around…though he kind of liked that the guy wasn’t around, even though he tried not to think it. It was selfish towards Y/N, but Daryl felt like if the guy were around, then he wouldn’t have been spending so much time with Y/N, talking so freely with her…

Daryl couldn’t stop thinking about how upset she had been the day before…she had cried, and then she’d even said that maybe having gone to the city was a regret. Daryl didn’t know how she could think that, with how much she hated their town, and truly, their town was awful, she would have never gotten a good life for her there, and the people were just worse.

Had she been so unhappy at the city that she regretted having gone? It made Daryl’s heart clench. But she had a job, and her best friend, and a kid…And if she had been miserable then…maybe…she could have come back to the town…to him… No, no she couldn’t. She had to know that the town would just suck her soul and made her more miserable, as it seemed to do with everyone living there.

She had seemed so sad, though, when Jane asked why they hadn’t kept being friends…Daryl knew that leaving him must have hurt her, maybe not as much as it’d hurt him, but he knew she had cared for him…did it really still make her sad? Make her feel like he felt, when he couldn’t stop the memories…It almost seemed like so, she’d been crying in the kitchen. Daryl didn’t know what to think about it all.

Daryl groaned. All those fighting thoughts were giving him a headache and making him feel all weird. It was very early, the sun wasn’t up yet, but Aaron had told him he could go work on the bike whenever he wanted, the garage door was open, and so he got up and he made his way there, welcoming the work, his mind shutting up as he worked on the bike, focused only on that.

He had been working for a couple of hours when the door that connected the garage with the house opened and Eric walked in, carrying what it seemed to be a plate with breakfast. “I saw you were working here, thought I could make you some breakfast too,” he said as he placed the plate next to Daryl.

“Thanks,” he replied bashfully.

“It’s looking good…I think, I don’t know much about bikes. When do you think you’ll have it ready?”

“Couple days, maybe…”

Eric hummed, silent for a few seconds, and Daryl couldn’t help but feel awkward as Eric watched him work. “Look Daryl…I’m sorry about yesterday, if I made you and Y/N awkward asking things…” Eric began. “And I really didn’t mean to make Y/N upset like that…”

Daryl shook his head, stopping Eric’s apologies. “Nah…nah, it wasn’t that…” He glanced at Eric, and he really seemed regretful and worried. Daryl didn’t know what to do. “Look, ain’t you…just…back then…we had to part ways…and yeah, what she said, we were…were good friends…” Daryl didn’t know why in the world was he saying all that to Eric, and yet he kept going. “So yeah, it was…it wasn’t easy…so thinking back to it…guess it made Y/N sad, the memories and all that…so it wasn’t you, just…dunno…” He shrugged, finally stopping his ramble, feeling embarrassed and awkward as hell.

“And you?”

“What?”

“Makes you sad, too?”

Daryl chewed on a grease-stained thumb. “Yeah…yeah, I guess it does…” Sad, and confused, and just full of feelings he didn’t understand, neither he wanted to deal with…and again, why was he saying that to Eric.

“Well…then it’s a good thing that you have a new chance to be friends again, after all this time. That you met again.” Eric smiled softly.

“Yeah, that’s…what everyone keeps saying…” Daryl murmured. They were right, it was a good thing, it was a great thing, just…everything was so confusing. And yet whenever he saw Y/N, he couldn’t help but wonder how she could be in his life again, and he was grateful for it. It only he could get his mind so shut up.

Eric gave him a sympatehic look but didn’t press it anymore, and Daryl was grateful for it. Eric just patted his shoulder awkwardly and went back into the house, and so Daryl focused his attention back to the half-made bike, his mind finally shutting up for a while about anything else that wasn’t the bike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More bittersweet sad memories. Please, let me know your thoughts if you like it. Thanks to the people who always support me, you make me not give up.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	9. Chapter 9

Daryl wasn’t sure of how long he had been working on that bike, several hours had passed since Eric brought him breakfast, but he hadn’t realized it, focused on the bike that was taking form. Then, a tiny voice brought him back to the real world.

“Hi, Daryl!”

He looked up and found Jane standing outside the garage door. “Hi s-” He bit his tonge, embarrassed, when he was about to call her sunshine again, where in the hell was that coming from all the time. “What’re you doing here?” He looked around but couldn’t see Y/N anywhere.

“Came to see you,” she shrugged, walking into the garage to stand next to him, inspecting the bike.

“Does your mum know that you’re here?” He asked, suspicious.

“Not exactly here, but she knows I’m outside playing.” Jane shrugged.

Daryl had seen kids playing at Alexandria’s green areas and gardens, and sure, the place seemed safe enough with those walls, but still, it made him feel a bit uneasy to see them alone and knowing they didn’t know how to protect themselves. They had thought they were safe at the prison, let their kids play at the yards, and then they had been attacked, their safe home gone, and most of their kids gone too…and their kids had known how to protect themselves, fight even, not like the ones in Alexandria…

“It looks like a bike now,” Jane said, taking him out of his dreadful thoughts.

He hummed a yes, the bike was almost put together by now, tomorrow he’ll work on getting it started, test it, and hopefully in a couple of days he could be riding outside Alexandria. “I’m gonna take you back home.”

“What, no!” Jane frowned at him. “Told you, mum knows I’m out! It’s early and I don’t have to be home yet.”

Daryl looked at her, chewing on his thumb. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if Y/N really let Jane roam around Alexandria alone and he was worried thinking she might be worried and looking for her kid…but he also didn’t think Jane was lying. Still, he decided to take the kid back home, he didn’t like that Y/N didn’t know where she was.

Before he could drag her home, though, another girl walked into the garage. She was older, thirteen or so, and he was walking hand in hand with a younger girl who Daryl recognized as Dawn, Jane’s neighbor and Nora’s kid. She seemed shy, half-hidden behind the older girl, who must be her sister Lisa, then.

“There you are!” The older kid huffed. “I was supposed to watch over you both and you just disappeared!”

“I told Dawn where I was going!”

“You told her you were going to Aaron’s, but you’re here with this stranger.” Lisa eyed him suspiciously and Daryl thought she liked that kid, she didn’t seem one to trust blindly like most of those Alexandrians. They might trust his family, but him…not that much, though…he knew how he looked, what those people thought. The kid had reasons to look at him like that, and it was good to be suspicious in that world. “Come on, we’re leaving.”

“He’s not a stranger! He’s Daryl and he was my mom’s best friend, and it’s okay that I’m here with him. I’m not leaving.”

“Yes, you are, I am the one looking after you, so come on.”

“I’m not! Daryl, tell her! Tell her it’s true!” Jane looked at him with begging eyes and Daryl couldn’t resist.

“Yeah, it’s true, I’m Y/N’s friends, it’s okay. She can stay if she wants, ain’t not a bother.”

Lisa didn’t seem very impressed. “Look, I know Deanna has taken you all in and you’re one of us now. Welcome and all that, but I’m not leaving Jane with a guy that I don’t know.” Daryl smirked at that…yeah, he thought he liked that kid.

Before he could say anything, Aaron walked into the garage, blinking at the scene. He looked at Daryl, seemed puzzled at what was going on, and then back at the girls. “Hey…hi Lisa…Dawn, Jane. It’s good to see you all here…”

“Aaron! Tell Lisa who Daryl is! Tell him he’s my mom’s friend and that she doesn’t mind I’m here!” Jane quickly asked.

“Uh…” Aaron still seemed a bit confused but he nodded. “Yeah, yeah, he’s Y/N’s friend, and he’s my friend too, it’s okay.”

“See!” Jane rolled her eyes at Lisa. “I want to stay!”

Lisa looked from Aaron to Daryl, still frowning, but she shrugged and shook her head. “Okay, whatever, stay if you want, but you,” she pointed at Aron. “Are responsible for her now.”

“Dawn, you should stay too, Daryl’s putting together a bike! Isn’t that cool!” Jane grinned and Dawn looked at Daryl’s shyly but nodded. “She can stay too, can’t she?” Daryl nodded, he didn’t have the heart to send the little girls away. Dawn let go of her sister’s hand and walked to stay slightly behind Jane.

“Yeah, sure, stay with a stranger you too, why not,” Lisa huffed. “Remember we’re having dinner together today, don’t be late.”

“Hey,” Daryl called after her, half expecting the girl to snap at him. “Can you tell Y/N and your father that the girls are good and here?”

“Sure, if something happens I’m not taking the blame, it’s on you.” She nodded at Aaron before walking away.

Daryl spent another good couple of hours working on the bike, until he decided it was time to return the little girls home. They had been watching him work, Jane asking questions about what he was doing and talking, while Dawn seemed bashful, though slowly she began to relax and Daryl caught her smiling and asking questions a couple of times, and Daryl couldn’t help but feel good about it.

Judging by what he could gather from what the girls talked while they followed him back home, it seemed they were going to dine together and they were planning on having a sleepover, so they needed to convince their parents since tomorrow they had school. It sounded as if they were regular kids in a regular home, as if the world hadn’t ended, as if dangerous monsters and even more dangerous people weren’t outside the walls…Daryl didn’t know how to feel about it.

He knocked on Y/N’s door and she opened, barely giving him a quick smile before looking at the girls. “Well, look at the hour, I thought you were thinking of missing the dinner!” If she was trying to sound annoyed, he wasn’t really managing.

“No! Are we leaving now?” Jane asked.

“Not yet, I’m finishing the cookies for dessert, but you and Dawn can go to her place already if you want.”

“Okay…wait, can Daryl come?”

Daryl looked at Jane, surprised, and then at Y/N.

“Sweetheart, we can’t just bring someone without asking first, and I’m sure Daryl has something to do…” She said, much to Daryl’s relief, who was starting to panic at the idea of being asked to go dining with people he didn’t know and having to say no and maybe upset Y/N.

“Okay…but I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” The girl looked at him hopefully and Daryl nodded, he had the feeling he couldn’t stop Jane from going to watch him work even if he wanted to. Jane grinned and taking Dawn’s hand, they both walked to the other house.

Y/N let out a sigh. “I’m sorry you had to babysit them…probably I should have gone to pick them up, but I didn’t want to dine with two upset kids…” She bit her lip. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah, nah, it’s okay.” Daryl shrugged, it wasn’t like the girls had bothered him. “They’re good kids.” Y/N gave him a smile, though she still seemed a bit embarrassed. “She can be a handful, yeah?” He had thought that about Jane almost since he first met her.

Y/N snorted. “Yeah, yeah she can. But I wouldn’t have it any other way…” She smiled and Daryl nodded, the corner of his mouth lifting up.

“So, you made cookies?” He didn’t mean to sound that surprised, but he did. Y/N didn’t seem annoyed, though, she just snorted.

“No, I’m just reheating them, Carol made them, brought them to me to the pantry.”

“Oh…” Daryl chewed on his lip. Carol was his best friend but he felt a bit uneasy thinking what Y/N and her might have talked about…

“You know…” Y/N looked at him, smiling though she looked shy. “We’re having dinner at Robert’s place, that’s Nora’s husband, I’d ask you to come, Maybe Jane was right… but I know it’s not your thing…”

“I, uh…” Daryl’s stomach closed just thinking about it and Y/N gave him a sweet smile that made his stomach just feel weirder.

“It’s okay, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or anything like that…it’s just…” Y/N let out a sigh and Daryl frowned.

“You don’t wanna go?”

“I want to, but…Robert has been seeing this woman, Rachel, for the last couple of months…I think that it’s getting serious and it’s the first time we’re having dinner all together…so…I don’t know. She’s nice, I like her, and Robert deserves to have someone and be happy again, and it’s good for the girls too…but I just…can’t help but…” Y/N seemed to struggle for words, blinking quick as if she were going to cry, and Daryl had to stop himself for reaching out for her. “I can’t help but have Nora in my mind all the time every time I see Rachel and Robert so…yeah…

Daryl didn’t know what to do. He hated seeing Y/N like that, he wanted to help her. Part of him wanted to go with her, give her support, anything…but it also made him feel so awkward, so uncomfortable, it made him almost even panic…

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine,” Y/N gave him a smile. “Rachel’s a wood woman. It’s good for Robert, and so it’s for Lisa and Dawn. It’ll be okay.” Daryl just nodded, he didn’t know what to say. “I should go get those cookies before they burn…”

“Okay…” Daryl was still frowning, unsure about Y/N feeling good at that dinner, but he didn’t know what to do.

“Oh, and I…” Y/N looked down, chewing on her lower lip, which just worried Daryl more. “I’m sorry about yesterday…that I reacted like that at Aaron’s…I’m sorry…”

She seemed embarrassed and Daryl hated it. If only she knew how the memories made him feel too, but he couldn’t get himself to tell her…he couldn’t even agree with himself in how they made him feel. “Nah, come on, ain’t nothing to be sorry about…” Despite his words, Y/N still seemed embarrassed, and Daryl tried to speak up. “It…it suck, yeah, that we had to…that we didn’t see each other again. Makes me feel…yeah, it ain’t good…so…” He tried, but Daryl was pretty sure he wasn’t really delivering what he wanted to say, it was just too confusing and embarrassing.

Y/N didn’t seem to mind his awkwardness, as she gave him a sad smile. “Okay.”

“I’m gonna go keep working on that bike…” He murmured, eager to retreat.

“It’s really okay if Jane goes tomorrow again? I know she can be a bit too much sometimes.”

“No, it’s good, let her come.”

“Okay…maybe I could go with her, this time, if it’s not a bother…”

“Ain’t no bother.” Daryl frowned, wondering why she thought that, he hoped she didn’t believe he might be annoyed at how she had reacted yesterday, because the idea was ridiculous. “Come tomorrow, I’m gonna work this night on finishing the bike and tomorrow it’ll be ready for testing.”

“Okay, sounds good.” Y/N smiled.

“Could give you a ride, if you want, if it works…” Daryl shrugged, looking down bashfully.

“I…I’d really like that.” Y/N bit her lip as she smiled, her cheeks blushing red, and Daryl felt all weird again. “I really have to get those cookies…”

“And I have to go back work…”

“Don’t work too hard, okay? You gotta rest for a bit too.”

Daryl just nodded and began walking away, leaving Y/N to tend to the dinner, and making his way back to Aaron’s garage.

*

_It has to be a dream, because it was too perfect to be real, and if it was a dream, Daryl didn’t want to ever wake up._

_He was at home, at the prison, still standing. Everyone was alive, even those who he had seen die, they were there and happy, going about with their lives. Y/N was there too, walking around one of the yards with Jane, even though Daryl was pretty sure they had never been at the prison…but it felt normal, it felt as if it should be, as if they had always been there with his family, with him since the beginning, since always. It should have been like that._

_Y/N and Jane spotted him, and they waved at him, grinning. Daryl felt overcome by warm feelings, his heart fluttering and twirls dancing in his stomach. Then he saw them…_

_Walkers were getting into the prison, stumbling towards Y/N and Jane. Daryl tried to run to them, but he couldn’t move, not even to grab his crossbow. He couldn’t speak either, couldn’t shout at them to warn them, he could only watch as they screamed in panic, trying to run away, but the walkers were too many, more and more each passing second, and endless sea of them inundating the prison without Daryl being able to do anything._

_Neither Y/N nor Jane had weapons, they didn’t know how to fight, and Daryl saw walkers grabbing them, sinking their teeth into their flesh as they screamed, until they stopped screaming and struggling, walkers devouring them in front of him, but he couldn’t scream, couldn’t move, couldn’t close his eyes…_

Daryl woke up with a gasp, a scream stuck in his throat, his heart hammering so fast it seemed it was going to jump out of his chest. He looked around in panic before his brain woke up completely and he realized where he was. It had been a dream…the prison was long gone…he was in Alexandria, he didn’t like the place but it was safe…Y/N and Jane were in there…they were safe…

Were they?

They didn’t know how to fight, that was as real now as it had been in his dream, they didn’t carry weapons with them either. Alexandria was safe, sure, behind walls, but that was no reason to not be ready. Daryl had seen how no place was forever safe, how you had to be ready to fight for your life and for your home, first at the quarry, then at Greene’s farm, then at the prison…he couldn’t let that happen again.

Maybe Rick was right, maybe they should be in charge if the Alexandrians weren’t able to protect the place, they couldn’t let it fall, they couldn’t lose another place, they couldn’t lose more people…

And he couldn’t lose Y/N, couldn’t lose Jane. He couldn’t see anything like his dream becoming real.

Daryl needed them to carry weapons with them, even if it was just knives…no, no, what he needed was them learning to protect themselves, learning how to use weapons… He wasn’t sure how Y/N might react if he suggested it, especially if he asked her to let Jane learn too…but he just couldn’t deal with the idea of them being defenseless.

Carol could train them, he trusted her with that, Maggie too, if she ever was free…he could ask them to train them, he was sure Carol wouldn’t mind, she would help him with this. She had to. He only needed to ask Y/N and convince her, even if it led to an argument, he needed to make her see how she needed it despite Alenxaria’s walls…he’d do it in the morning. Images of the dream kept coming to his mind, making him feel unease. Asking Y/N would be the first thing he did in the morning, even before going to the garage. He needed her to understand why she and the kid needed weapons and needed to know how to use them. He needed them safe.

Daryl turned on the sofa, trying to forget the dream. Everything was dark, and there were still some hours before the sunrise, he’d try to sleep, he had come back home late again after spending half the night finishing the bike.

He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t get the dream out of his mind, couldn’t close his eyes without seeing Y/N and Jane being devoured…

Daryl got up and paced around the dark room.

He knew Y/N and Jane were safe. They were inside their home, behind Alexandria walls. Yet he couldn’t help but feel uneasy, the dream still running through his system.

It was silly. It wasn’t logical. But Daryl couldn’t stop himself.

Taking his crossbow, he silently made his way to Y/N’s home.

The house was dark, as Daryl should have imagined it’d be in the middle of the night, Y/N and Jane were sure asleep, safe at home. Or were Jane at Dawn’s house? They had talked about a sleepover but he wasn’t sure. There wasn’t any noise intside, the windows and doors were closed, he hadn’t seen anything strange on his way there, the walls and door were closed, there were no walkers or people around…

Daryl’s brain knew that everything was safe, he should go back to his own place, and yet his dream was still making him feel uneasy… He didn’t know what to do… he knew that if he knocked on the door, waking Y/N up, she’d think him insane and an idiot, yet he still felt anxious. He couldn’t even get himself to go work on the bike…

Daryl found himself sitting down on the floor of Y/N’s porch. He’d wait for her to wake up, and then he’d talk to her, try to make her see why she and her kid needed to be able to protect themselves. With that in mind, Daryl leaned against the railing of the stairs, looking at the dark window of the house’s living room.

He didn’t mean to, he didn’t even realize it, but as time passed, his eyes closed, his mind going back to uneasy dreams.

“Daryl?” He woke up, startled, at Y/N’s voice. He blinked his eyes awake and saw her at the door, mug on her hand, looking at him confused and worried. “What are you doing here? I saw you through the window…there’s something wrong?”

“No…no, I…” The more he woke up, the more embarrassed he felt, his cheeks burning as he got onto his feet. “I just…I…” He didn’t know how the explain himself. What was he going to tell her? That he had a nightmare and gotten spooked? That a bad dream had made him go to her place and fall asleep on her porch…it was so ridiculous and so silly, beyond embarrassing.

Y/N still seemed confused but she didn’t seem angry, she wasn’t snapping, and she didn’t seem to think he was an idiot either. She just looked worried. “Would you like to come in?”

Daryl didn’t know what to do. He was still feeling utterly ashamed and embarrassed, but he didn’t know what to do, and the idea of running away from her made him even more embarrassed…He nodded. He had gone there to tell her that she should learn to fight and protect herself, to check if she was okay…he couldn’t just leave as nothing because he was embarrassed.

“Okay,” Y/N gave him a soft but worried smile. “Come on, come in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone liking this and leaving comments and reblogs, it means a lot. I was very excited for this story, it got me back into writing and I thought it was one of my bests, but it’s the less read of all I’ve posted, so I’m kind of sad about it, felt like giving up, so your support means a lot.
> 
> If you liked this chapter, please let me know your thoughts.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.
> 
> If you want to be (un)tagged let me know.


	10. Chapter 10

“Would you like some tea?” Y/N asked him as Daryl followed her awkwardly into her house and to the living room, ashamed and still silent, he couldn’t find the words to explain why was he there.

“You got tea here?” He found himself asking instead of saying that he didn’t want it, or instead of telling Y/N what he had come to say.

“Herbal, one of the neighbors grows mint in her garden. It’s good.” Y/N was still eyeing him with worry, but she wasn’t pushing him to speak for now, and Daryl was grateful for it, it made it easier to fight the urge to run away. “I’ll fix you a cup, sit down, okay?” Daryl just nodded, wondering if he was making her awkward, or if she was actually giving him space and time to organize his thoughts.

Y/N left him alone, going towards the kitchen, and instead of sitting down or reorganizing his thoughts, Daryl began to nervously pace around the room. The first time he’d been there, he had gone right to the kitchen without seeing the living room, and now some framed pictures on the wall caught his attention.

One was Y/N with baby Jane, looking tired but smiling. Another one was Y/N with a little more grown-up Jane and a woman who Daryl guessed was Nora, because Dawn and Elisa were also in the pic. They were in a café, and Daryl wondered if it was the one Y/N and Nora had worked on. The third one… It was little girl Y/N with her mother, the picture Daryl had given her all those years ago, after he sneaked into her stepfather’s house and took it.

Memories and ghost feelings came to him as he looked at it, threatening to flood him until he drowned, and Daryl tried to stop it, but the shelve that hung next to the pictures had more things that he recognized and his eyes found his way to them.

It didn’t take him a second to recognize it, the book that he had gotten her. It still looked old and about to turn into dust, but at the same time it looked well-kept, and Daryl was marveled the old thing had survived the apocalypse and Y/N’s travel to Alexandria…he wondered too why she’d bothered taking it with her. There was another book, he wasn’t sure but he thought she’d lent him that one at some point, it was one of her mother’s…she had carried not one but two books with her, and even more than seventeen years later, he found himself thinking that it was such a Y/N thing to do… But among all the books, she had carried the one that he had given her, which wasn’t her mother’s, and he didn’t know what to think of it. Must be a real good book.

The next thing he recognized was his knife, the one he had given her all those years ago, scared at someone hurting her at the outside of the club. He hadn’t thought she’d have kept it, he had guessed she has probably forgotten it. But there it was… She had taken it with her…At least it made more sense than the book, she could use the knife to protect herself. Yet she kept it on the shelve. He really had to get himself to tell her she needed to learn how to use it and protect herself. He took the knife, twirling it in his hand, losing the battle against memories and feelings that overcome him.

“Do you want it back?” Y/N’s voice startled him, almost making him drop the knife, and he turned to look at her like a deer caught in headlights. She was smiling softly, worried still, placing their cups on the table.

“No…I..uh…you should keep it…” Daryl mumbled. “You should…keep it and…” and train, learn to fight, keep the knife always with her…that was what he wanted to say, what he knew he had to, but instead he found himself saying something else. “I…didn’t know you kept it…” he murmured.

“Of course I kept it…that and the book you gave me were the only two things I had from you…” Y/N said quietly, biting his lip, and Daryl didn’t know what he was feeling but it made him feel all weird. “When I was at the city…I had nothing else from you…” Y/N took her cup but she didn’t drink, just fidgeted with it. “And then when I had to run away…some people think it’s stupid, to take things like pictures and that…but it’s not just pictures, you know…it’s more than that…so I took the pictures than meant most to me, one of my mom’s books, Jane’s favorite book…guess it’s not the most useful…but I think it’s important too…” She shrugged, pacing around a bit. “And so I took your knife and that book too…”

“Why?” The pictures and everything else, Daryl could understand it, even if he thought a bit like it was a waste of space, but why take stuff of someone she hadn’t seen in seventeen years.

Y/N shrugged shyly. “’Cause…told you, those are the only things from you that I had, they’re not only things but memories…and…and some of my best memories are with you…so…I don’t know…I missed you, at the city…and I thought about you…so I just…when I had to leave…I don’t know…” Y/N’s voice had been getting softer and softer, and she didn’t say anything else, seeming embarrassed.

Daryl still didn’t know what to think, and so he tried not to think about it, the fact that she’d thought about him and had kept stuff to remember him, when all he had wanted to do was forget… He was feeling overcome by emotion, drowning in feelings both old and new that he didn’t know what do with, and mostly he was confused about everything. He tried to stop it, tried to remember why he had gone there, and he handed the knife to Y/N.

“You should keep it with you, always.”

“Deanna doesn’t want us going around with weapons.”

“It’s bullshit. Walkers could get in, or people wanting this place, or anything. You got walls, but I told you about what happened to our old place.”

“She thinks Alexandria is safer if we don’t carry weapons, that way if there’s an argument it can’t escalate.”

“You shouldn’t have people in here who you think can hurt the others.” Daryl scoffed.

“I didn’t mean it like that…Come on, Daryl, you know half the people here don’t know how to handle a weapon, you want us running around with knives? Besides…if you say to any of these old ladies that their cooking is not good enough, she might actually stab you,” Y/N tried to joke, but his nightmare was still too vivid in Daryl’s mind.

“Then you all should learn.”

“You’re right on that. I’ve always wanted to.”

Daryl blinked at her…so she also thought that she should train and learn how to handle weapons? Daryl had thought there was going to be an argument when he told her, but it didn’t seem like that. She wanted to. That was easier than expected.

“I, uh…” He fidgeted. “Carol and Maggie, they are good with knives. With all weapons. Could tell them to teach you, if you want…they’re good people…”

“I’d really like that, I’ve always wanted to be able to protect myself.” Y/N smiled. “And now in this world more than ever.”

“Jane should learn too…”

“I’m not sure about giving her a knife…but I want her to be able to protect herself too, more than anything. I’ll think of something.”

That was also easier than Daryl had thought, no argument, no need to convince her…but now that he thought about it, why wouldn’t Y/N want her and her kid to be able to fight, protect themselves and all of that. It made sense…even in that Alexandria place. The more Daryl thought about it, about his fears and worries, about his nightmare and to which extent it had scared him, the more stupid he felt. It’d been a nightmare, nothing else, and asking Y/N to train wasn’t such a big deal as he had made it to be…why he was being so stupid lately…

“This is what you wanted to tell me? That’s why you were waiting outside?” Y/N asked softly, not mentioning that he wasn’t waiting but sleeping in her porch like a creep and an idiot…Daryl felt so ashamed he had to turn away from her, nodding. He still felt as if Y/N thought there was something more in it, but she didn’t press it.

“Is that…you worked there?” He asked to try and overcome his awkwardness, pointing at the picture of the café.

“Yes, that’s the day Nora bought it.”

“Did you like it there?”

“It was…good. Could have been worse. It was definitely worse at the club…” Y/N shrugged, sitting down on the sofa. “But if I hadn’t had Nora with me…I don’t know if I could have handled it. It was hard. I felt so out of place and alone, and just…told you, I was a stupid girl with stupid dreams, and I was faced with reality pretty soon and…yeah, it was hard. But I managed.”

She wasn’t sounding as happy as Daryl thought she would have been at the city. When he’d told her to go he had thought she was up to great things that would make her happy, but it didn’t sound like it. It hurt him, somehow…but also made him wonder…if it was like that, if she didn’t like it, then why she didn’t come back. But sure, a not ideal job in a café was better than the shitty and sometimes dangerous work at the club, and a strange city was better than their shit town…

“You didn’t…you never…didn’t come back…” He found himself mumbling aloud.

“Yeah well…sure my life in the city wasn’t what I had in mind, but it was better than the club, way better, and the city…living there was hard, but our town…you know how it was. Sometimes I felt like going back there with my tail between my legs, but I never did…and I think I was right not doing it, in the city I made myself a life that I couldn’t have had at the town.” Y/N fidgeted with her cup as he spoke and Daryl nodded, he knew she was right, but it still made him feel wrong somehow. “And well…I didn’t think there was nothing left for me in our town.”

Her words felt like a bolt going through Daryl’s heart. Of course she would think like that. Why would have she wanted to come back to the town, yeah, there was nothing there for her, not a good job, nothing…but him. But sure, why would she come back for him. Y/N said she’d missed him, she’d kept his shit…but he wasn’t enough for her to come back…he couldn’t blame her.

It was true. She had left for the best, he knew it back then and he knew it now, that’s why he had told her to leave. She had cared for him, somehow, had been sad that she had to leave him and be alone, but then she’d moved on, how wouldn’t she, so he hadn’t been a reason to come back. As it should be. Daryl understood…Yet he felt a lump in his throat that made him feel like an idiot. He didn’t say anything, just turned around to leave, feeling overwhelmed by everything, feeling the need to run away, everything was too much.

“Daryl,” her voice made him stop, even though he didn’t want to. “I wrote to you. I wrote to you every week, for months, a year. You never answered.”

She did, and he didn’t. Daryl remembered. The letters came and he never read them, threw them away. He wanted her to be happy in the city, to achieve everything she wanted, but he didn’t want to read about it. He didn’t want to read her, he couldn’t. He missed her so damn much, thinking about her hurt so badly, he wanted to push his memories of her away, he didn’t want to think about her ever again…

“So I thought…well, that you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. And I understand…I was gone, and you moved on, and it’s…it was okay…just…yeah…” Y/N trailed off, her voice sounding so small…

Daryl didn’t know how she could have thought that, she had gotten it all wrong… He didn’t know what to tell her, though. And thinking back…he had given her reasons to thinks that. And yes, he hadn’t wanted nothing do with her, because it hurt too much…but it wasn’t like he didn’t care for her…had she thought that? Had she written him about how hard everything was being for her and he had just ignored her? Had it made her think that he wouldn’t want her to go to their town to him again? Was it also why she had thought that maybe he wasn’t happy to see her at Alexandria? It all felt wrong…it was all too much. He didn’t know what to say, what to think, what to feel, he just felt like running away.

“Gotta go,” he muttered. “Finish the bike.” With that, he rushed away.

*

Usually working on something like a bike would make Daryl’s mind stop and focus only on that, but it wasn’t the case. He worked almost automatically as he kept thinking about Y/N. She kept his things, his knife and the book, as if to remember him, as if to have something from him, because she missed him…that enough made Daryl overwhelm by feelings, so much that he almost felt like crying, he didn’t know why. He didn’t understand himself lately…

But then…then she also thought that there was nothing for her back at the city, and Daryl was almost sure that it was because he had never written to her, answered her letters…maybe…had he made her think that he didn’t care? That she was forgotten, that he didn’t want to see her or talk to her anymore? And wasn’t that what he had wanted? He wasn’t sure.

He hadn’t wanted to talk to her and think about her, because her not being there with him, it had hurt too much. He had wanted to forget her, he had tried his best, but that didn’t mean he had managed, or that he didn’t care. It took him a long, long while to stop thinking about her every day, and even then, she found ways to creep into his mind when he least expected it.

She thought she’d had nothing left in the town for her…nothing to come back to…but despite trying his best to forget her, if she’d have come back, Daryl would have been there. If she was unhappy in the city and she decided to come back, he’d have been there for her. If she had come back alone with a kid, he’d have helped her.

But how would she know that. All she knew was that he had never written her back, that it seemed pretty much like he had forgotten her or tried to, like he didn’t want nothing to do with her anymore…and it wasn’t that far from the truth. Still, knowing that she’d thought like that that made Daryl feel all wrong.

He knew, too, that she was right when she said she had gotten a better life at the city than she could have at their own town, no matter it wasn’t easy, or that it wasn’t what she had dreamed of. It was best for her to not come back. She knew it, he knew it, and yet…

Yet what?

Daryl didn’t understand himself. What the hell did he want. What the hell was he feeling. Why was he thinking again and againg about shit that had happened more than seventeen years ago. He was such a mess.

He needed to stop the bullshit and focus on the damn bike, ignore the fact that neither Jane nor Y/N came to see him that day.

Once the bike was ready for testing, it didn’t take Daryl a second to turn the engine on and get on it, riding away, past Alexandria’s walls, as if he could outrun his feelings like that. He couldn’t, but it helped, at least until he was back.

The Alexandrians looked at him weird, Jane and Y/N were nowhere to be seen, and he was starting to feel all wrong again. Maybe he should have kept riding. Then he parked next to Aaron’s house and saw him smiling at him.

“I get that it’s ready to go.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “We can go tomorrow and do whatever you do.” The sooner he was riding again and out of Alexandria, the better.

“Okay.” Aaron agreed, and Daryl wondered if he could sense how Daryl was feeling, or he was just eager to do his job. “Eric’s not going to like it…but he’s used to it by now. Come in and have dinner with us while we plan everything?”

Daryl nodded…it was stupid and embarrassing, but being with them helped a bit whenever he was feeling out of place, or wrong in any sense…being with Y/N had helped, too, at least when she wasn’t the thing that was making feel all weird. Like now.

When the sun rose next morning, Aaron and him were ready to go, him on a car and Daryl on the bike. It came to his mind how he hadn’t said goodbye to Y/N or Jane…they probably didn’t even know he was leaving. He tried to push it away. It made him feel…he didn’t know how, but he didn’t like it.

He had hurt Y/N, he knew it…he had hurt her seventeen years ago when he ignored her letters, but he hadn’t known what else to do, he had needed to forget her so he could keep going, imagining her happy at the city…he didn’t know how to tell her all that. He had hurt her again, probably, leaving yesterday without a word after she opened herself about her life, after she almost confessed that she thought he hadn’t cared for her anymore because he never wrote… He didn’t know how to make her understand….all he could do was hurt her, it seemed.

It seemed as if it was the only thing he knew how to do, hurt the people he cared about, being a burden, like he was right now to his family in Alexandria. He was letting them down. He was letting Y/N down too, after he got her back. He always messed everything.

Daryl rode away and didn’t look back, hearing Aaron’s car behind him. At least he could try and not mess this up, do his new job right, and for that, he needed to stop his mind from wandering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, we got some angst, why not. If you liked this chapter and you have time, please let me know your thoughts.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	11. Chapter 11

If all days in Aaron’s life whenever he went out looking for people were like the couple of days Daryl had spent with him, he didn’t know how the man was still alive. They had not only lost the man they had been trying to find and help, they had also ended up almost losing their lives themselves, falling right into a trap like a couple of idiots.

They had gotten themselves trapped inside a car, surrounded by a herd of walkers, and Daryl had honestly thought it was the end. He didn’t know what to do. The only thing that had come to his mind was that he couldn’t let Aaron die there, and so he thought he might get an opening for him, distract the walkers while Aaron ran away and hope he would make it…he might die anyway, and Daryl himself would be devoured, but it was something and he couldn’t come up with anything else.

Aaron didn’t let him, though, saying that they were together in it, and whatever they did, it’d be together. It made Daryl feel strangely comforted. He had thought Aaron would just leave him, he wasn’t that important. It wasn’t that important if he died. What did he have in Alexandria? He had tried, but he couldn’t integrate. His family…they’d miss him, but they’d get over it, it wasn’t their first loss, and they didn’t need him anymore. Y/N…she thought he didn’t care for her…

But Aaron had cared, he hadn’t left him. And now, in hindsight, Daryl could see how he probably had been wrong. His family…maybe they didn’t need him, but they cared, even if Daryl didn’t realize it sometimes, he knew they did, it’d hurt them if he died. He couldn’t do that to them, to Carol and Rick, if he could help it. And Y/N…

Daryl didn’t know what to think, he wasn’t sure if she thought that he didn’t care for her, if he had made her think that ignoring her letters, but he knew he had fucked up leaving her house without a word after she brought it up. Maybe now she did think that he didn’t care…or that she didn’t mean to him what she actually did…

He had tried not to think about her while he’d been out, he’d hoped for it, but he couldn’t help it. He had thought that the mess of feelings that she gave him would fade if he was away, but it seemed it just grew. What did she think of him? Was she angry at him? Upset? Did she…did she still care? If she did and he’d have died out there, it’d have hurt her… Daryl felt an ache in his heart thinking that maybe she didn’t care anymore, that he had messed his chance to be friends again by walking away...

Y/N was important to him, weird feelings or not, and there was no way of denying it. Maybe he should tell her…he didn’t know how, though. He just knew that she made him feel strange things and that he couldn’t get her out of his head, not even in his dreams.

Turned out neither Aaron nor him had died, a man called Morgan had come out of nowhere and saved them, and weirdly enough, he seemed to know Rick, and was looking for him. Not knowing what else to do, Aaron and him were bringing him to Alexandria.

On the way there, Daryl couldn’t enjoy the ride, his brain lost in thought again. Y/N…he had to fix it, had to tell her why he hadn’t answered the letters, but the idea of admitting it embarrassed him. But she needed to know that if he had wanted to forget her, it wasn’t because he didn’t care anymore or because he was angry or anything like that, but the opposite…that it didn’t mean he wasn’t happy to have found her now, that he wanted her back in his life, that he didn’t want to lose her again…lose her as he did in some of his dreams.

It came to his mind now that he had asked neither Carol nor Maggie to train Y/N. He had been so worried about that, and yet he had left as nothing. Y/N still didn’t know how to wield a knife or anything like that. What if something had happened in Alexandria? What if walkers had gotten in? What if they had been attacked? Y/N couldn’t protect herself and Jane.

It was ridicouls, though. He’d been away just a couple of days, Alexandria was safe, they still had walls…but that’s what you always thought of places that seemed safe. But anyway, if they were attacked, no matter how improbable it was, his family was there. They’d help defend Alexandria, and they’d take care of Y/N and Jane.

Stepping into Alexandria, Daryl didn’t know what was going on. There was nobody around, nobody at watch either, which hadn’t been unusual when they first arrived, but now Rick had made Deanna agree to have someone always on watch. As Aaron, Morgan, and him walked deeper into Alexandria, they saw gathered a big group of people who seemed to be having a meeting, he could see his family there. The more they approached, the more it seemed like something was wrong.

Rick was standing there over some bodies, one of a walker, another of a dead man who Daryl thought was Deanna’s husband, and another man who he thought was that hairdresser’s husband, though he wasn’t sure. Deanna was crying and everyone seemed in shock, including Y/N, who was looking at the scene with wide, scared eyes.

Daryl resisted the urge to run to her and instead he went for Carol, who was approaching him too, he needed to know what had happened. “The hell’s going on?” Deanna was being comforted by some people, including Maggie, and Rick was approaching her too.

“Pete came with Michonne’s katana, tried to kill Rick but killed Deanna’s husband instead, so she asked Rick to execute him. He was a threat.”

The fuck…he left for two days and came back to this, and he still didn’t understand what was going on. “What were you all doing here?”

“Deanna wanted everyone to decide about exiling Rick,” Carol explained, but it just confused Daryl more. Seriously, what had happened in two days. Carol seemed to notice his confusion. “He’d gotten into a fight with Pete, big one, freaked out the Alexandrians and Deanna. But I guess that’s fixed now…” She looked at the corpse of Pete and then at Rick talking to Deanna.

Yes, it seemed fixed, and it seemed Deanna was giving more and more power to his people, which was what Carol and Rick had wanted, and as Daryl had feared, it’d involved blood. If only it had been just an asshole like Pete seemed to have been, but a good man had died too. It made Daryl feel uneasy. He had to remind himself that it wasn’t his family’s fault, though, even if it was convenient, they hadn’t wanted this, and anyway, if Pete was an asshole and has gone out of control, then it was a luck Rick had been there to stop him. If only nobody else had had to die…

“The walker?”

“Rick found it inside the walls, brought it to show the Alexandrians how they needed to learn how to protect themselves and Alexandria, how they need to make Alexandria safer, to prove that it’s not safe enough and walkers can get in…it seemed to cause quite an impression, until Pete showed up and caused a bigger one. Maybe now they’ll listen.”

A walker had gotten in. More than one could have done it, then. They could have bitten someone, kill someone. They could have found Y/N, she and Jane could have been bitten or devoured. It was like his nightmare again. Alexandria was supposed to be safe, couldn’t those people fucking guard the walls and the door? How in the hell had a walker gotten in? His eyes drifted again to Y/N, who seemed still in shock and was looking at him now. Carol seemed to notice.

“Come on, go with her. Go. We’ll sort this out.”

Daryl nodded, not looking away from Y/N, and he made his way to her. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah…” she whispered, but she didn’t look like it.

“Where’s Jane?”

“At Robert’s house, with Rachel, Lisa, and Dawn.” Y/N nodded towards a man who Daryl guessed was Robert, and who was looking at him. Daryl didn’t want to know what that guy might be thinking of him.

People began to walk back to their houses as Deanna asked them to do so, while Carol and Rick took care of the bodies, and Daryl too wanted Y/N away from there. “I’ll walk you back home, okay? There’s nothing you can do here.”

Y/N nodded. “Robert, are you coming too?”

The man nodded and the three of them began walking towards their houses in silence. Daryl couldn’t help but wonder what Y/N might think of his family…she had seen Rick beating one of her people and then killing him, or so it seemed by what Carol had told him. But then again, it also seemed as if the asshole had it coming. He hoped Y/N wasn’t scared of Rick and the others now…maybe even scared of him? It didn’t seem like so, she was walking next to him, so close that she was almost touching him. Daryl still didn’t know if she was upset or angry at him for having left without a word, but if she was, it seemed it had been forgotten for now after the events of the night.

“Are you picking up Jane?” Robert asked when they stopped in front of the houses.

“I don’t know…she was excited about having a sleepover with Dawn if we were late, and I don’t want to worry her…but I can pick her up…”

“No, it’s okay, she can stay if she wants, I’ll ask her and if she wants to go home, I’ll bring her.”

“Thank you, Robert. I know there aren’t any more walkers around but…”

Y/N shuddered and gave Robert a weak smile while Daryl stood there awkwardly. He didn’t know what to do. He still wanted to make sure than Y/N was okay, he didn’t feel like leaving her alone, but he didn’t know if she wanted him to leave. He looked from her to the house, unsure of what to do. Y/N seemed unsure too, looking at him shyly.

“If you want to…well, you don’t need too…sure you have things to do…but if you want…well…you can come in…but you don’t need too, I’m good, it’s okay, you’re busy…” Y/N began to backtrack and Daryl tried to overcome his own sadness.

“I’ll walk you in, if you want.” He murmured.

“Okay…” Y/N nodded, giving him a small smile much to Daryl’s relief, and he wondered what was Robert still doing there.

“You sure you’re okay?” The man asked to Y/N even though he was looking at Daryl, and Daryl could feel how he was suspicious of him. Daryl knew how he looked, knew what most of the people in Alexandria thought of him, how he must look now when one of his own had killed an Alexandrian…it still made him feel self-conscious and he tried not to snap so as not to prove a point.

“Yeah, I’ll be.” Y/N nodded. “Besides, Daryl’s here so it’ll be okay, I’m safe.”

Her words made Daryl feel all weird, all warm inside, even though they made him shy too. She didn’t think awful things of him. She actually felt safe with him…weird twirls danced in his belly and he couldn’t do nothing to stop it.

“Okay.” Robert finally nodded. “I’ll make sure the kids are okay.”

“Thank you, Robert.”

The man turned to walk towards his house, and Y/N looked at Daryl. “Thank you”, she said again before walking to her house, and Daryl followed her inside.

“You don’t need to worry, you’re safe, Jane too,” he tried to reassure her, remembering that she was worried and probably scared. “There was just one walker, and Rick and the others will make sure there ain’t any more here, and that no other comes in.”

“I can’t believe that one got in here in the first place…” Y/N shook her head, walking into the living room and falling onto the sofa.

“No one was on watch and there must be a weak spot in the wall. We’ll fix it.” Daryl assured.

“No, actually…Rick said that the door wasn’t properly closed, that’s how it got in.”

What the hell…the Alexandrians couldn’t even close a door? Who the fuck was the dumbass who had left the damn door open…Daryl wanted to kick their ass out of the place. That walker could have killed half Alexandria, they looked like they couldn’t put down a single walker even if you paid them, it could have bit Y/N, could have killed Jane… Daryl didn’t know what was he feeling, an agitated combination of anger, worry, and he didn’t know what else, but he tried not to explode.

“That shit can’t happen again.”

“It won’t…” Y/N nodded, looking worried. “If any of us would have run into that monster instead of Rick…” She shuddered.

“You all need to learn to kill them, to protect yourselves.” And they need to learn to properly close a damn door, it seemed. He pretty much just cared about her and Jane though…Aaron too, but he already knew how to handled himself, he survived out there. Eric didn’t look like so, but if he was with Aaron, then sure he had to know something by now.

“I can’t talk for the others, but I do want to…” Y/N nodded, looking at him shyly before looking down. “I thought you were going to talk to your friends about that…I mean, you don’t have to…but you said you would…but you don’t need to, and they don’t have to…”

She seemed unsure and hesitant, and Daryl hated it. Had he really made her think that he didn’t care about that anymore? Did she think that his family didn’t want to train her? He’d been the one asking her to train, telling her that he’d get her training, he felt he’d kind of failed her.

“Yeah I…didn’t tell them but I will.”

“You don’t need to…”

“I want to,” He assured her, forcing himself to look at her instead of at the floor.

“Okay.” She gave him a weak smile, but she still seemed hesitant as she looked at him, and Daryl wondered if it had something to do with the way in which he had left the last time they saw each other. He didn’t know what to do about it, but it still made him feel bad. “Anyway…thank you for walking me in…I’m okay, you can leave, I’ll be fine…”

“I’ll leave if you want…but…don’t mind staying…” Daryl replied bashfully, but Y/N still seemed unsure and timid, and Daryl forced himself to speak up. “Y/N…look…I’m sorry about leaving without saying anything.” He blurted out, eyes fixed on a spot on the floor.

“No, it’s…it’s okay…it’s not like you need to tell me about what you’re doing or anything…” Y/N said as she fidgeted.

“No, it wasn’t okay, we’re friends, right?” Daryl was glad he’d forced himself to look at her when he saw Y/N nodding with a ghost of a smile on her face. “Then I should tell you stuff like that.”

“I was worried when I heard Aaron and you had gone out…but Aaron’s been doing that for a while now and he always comes safe, so…”

Daryl stopped himself from telling her the mess in which Aaron and him had gotten themselves out there. He didn’t know why, but he felt like telling her stuff, talking about what happened to him, but he knew it would scare her.

“I’ll tell you next time I’m leaving,” Daryl assured her, his stomach doing something strange when Y/N’s smiled weakly again. Though with everything that was going on in Alexandria, Daryl didn’t know when would be the next time he went out with Aaron.

He looked at Y/N, who was fidgeting again…he wanted to apologize for the way in which he had walked away from her too, but he didn’t know how, scared of bringing it up…come on, he’d fought groups of walkers, he could do this… “Y/N, I’m…I’m sorry about leaving like that when you told me about the letters you know last time,” he let it out in one breath so he couldn’t stop himself.

It just made Y/N look even more uncomfortable and shy, though, and Daryl wondered if he’d been wrong bringing it up.

“No, it’s…I…I shouldn’t have talked about that, it was seventeen years ago…” Y/N said softly, and her voice had something in it that made Daryl feel worse…he tried to gather the courage to talk about it, even if it made him embarrassed as hell, and he began to pace as he looked for words.

“Look…I…yeah, I…I got your letters, and I never answered. But it wasn’t cos…it didn’t mean that…I didn’t want to read your letters, I never did, I didn’t want to know about you, to think about you, not again…”

“Okay…” Y/N’s small voice interrupted him and when Daryl looked at her, he noticed tears in her eyes even though she was trying to hide them, letting her hair fall around her face. Shit. He was making it even worse…he was too blunt…but he didn’t know how to explain himself better.

“No, wait…just…just listen. It wasn’t because I didn’t care…” In fact, it was quite the opposite. “I thought…I thought you were happy in the city, that you were having a good life…” Maybe if he had read her, he’d have realize she wasn’t…but then, what? She was still better off at the city, what could have he done? Still, it felt wrong that he hadn’t been there for her. “I just…I cared for you, okay? You know I did.”

He’d damn loved her, never loved anyone else after her, not like that. Daryl felt his cheeks blushing in embarrassment but forced himself to keep going. “But you left…and you did right, and I don’t blame you, it’s what you had to do. But you weren’t….you weren’t there anymore…and thinking about you…it hurt, okay? So I just…I couldn’t. I had to stop it, had to take you out of my mind…” or tried to. “And if I’d read your letters, write to you…there’s no way I could have done that…I wanted to stop thinking about you and forget, I needed to, cos it hurt like hell and I just…I couldn’t…”

Daryl was embarrassed as hell, but still, it seemed like all those so long-repressed emotions, all those untold words, kept pouring out of his mouth without him being able to stop it. He felt like crying now, a lump in his throat, and he felt like an idiot. This was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. Wasn’t him over all that already? More than seventeen years had come and gone. What was he doing, telling all that shit to Y/N. It was stupid and embarrassing, and he was once again making a fool out of himself.

His back was to Y/N and he had to fight the urge to run away and walk away from her again, almost didn’t stop himself from doing it. Then suddenly he felt arms wrapping around him and Y/N’s body against his back. It startled him, when he was already feeling more emotional than he could handle. He stiffed and all but flinched, and Y/N pulled away muttering a sorry, seeming quite shy herself as her cheeks blushed.

“No…I…” Daryl reached out for her but didn’t touch her. He didn’t know how to tell her that maybe he didn’t want her to pull away, that maybe he wanted her to hold him, but that he wasn’t even sure himself because whenever she was around it was like there was a fight inside his head and he didn’t make any sense anymore.

Y/N seemed to catch some of it, though, because she shyly reached out her arms for him, slowly as if she was unsure he wanted it or maybe he might pull away, or as if giving him time to do so. He didn’t, and so her arms wrapped around him gently. When she was sure he was okay with it, Y/N held him a bit more firmly, stepping closer until she rested the side of her head on his chest, and Daryl’s arms found their way around her too.

The embrace threatened Daryl to fill him with even more emotions, more than he could handle, he was drowning in feelings, memories and not memories, but it also felt warm, and comforting and good, and Daryl found himself enjoying it, conflicting feelings or not.

“I’d say let’s forget the past,” Y/N whispered without looking at him. “But I told you, some of my best memories are with you, and I don’t want to forget that.”

Some of his best memories were with her too. Most of them. But he had spent so long trying to forget them. They hurt too much…Daryl wondered if she was right, if maybe he should remember instead of forgetting…heaven knew he hadn’t been successful at forgetting her. He didn’t know if there’d come a day when even his better memories of her wouldn’t make it hurt. But now Y/N was there with him again, and maybe that could help? Maybe the memories didn’t have to hurt anymore? They did though…but he’ll have new memories now, if he didn’t mess up this second chance of being his friend. It was confusing and scary, and it made him feel all weird, but Daryl still wanted them to be friends all over again.

For that, though, he needed to keep her safe. That made his mind go back to the present night and what had happened, and he pulled away slightly to look at her. Y/N pulled her arms away from him, as if she thought he was done with the embrace and didn’t want her to hug him any longer, and honestly, Daryl himself wasn’t sure of what he wanted.

“You sure you’re okay?” He asked.

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded with another weak, shy and awkward smile, “I bet there must be…stuff to do, so if you need to go with your friends…”

“No,” Daryl stopped her. “No, they can handle themselves.” He didn’t know what Carol and Rick wanted to do now anyway, let them sort it. Besides, he didn’t want to leave until he was sure Y/N wasn’t feeling scared, and he was scared himself thinking about the walker that could have bitten her inside of what seemed a safe place, reminding him too much of his nightmares. “I can stay for a bit…if it’s okay with you…”

He chewed on his lip, shy all over again, and when Y/N nodded, smiling shyly at him, he felt all weird again, but he wondered if those twirls inside his belly didn’t actually feel that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the people who support this fic and I’m sorry to the ones I dissapointed with it.
> 
> Please if you liked this chapter and you have time, let me know your thoughts.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	12. Chapter 12

Daryl found himself once again sitting down on Y/N’s sofa while she made that tea thing in the kitchen. She’d said she was going to make them some, and Daryl’d once again not said that he didn’t want it. But if it made Y/N feel better somehow, then it was good.

“There you go.” Y/N walked back into the living room, passing him a cup before sitting down on the sofa with her own cup, next to him. There was silence between them for while, Y/N sipping her tea while Daryl just fidgeted with the cup, until she spoke again.

“I can’t believe Reg’s dead…damn…poor Deanna…” Y/N whispered and Daryl didn’t know what to tell her, he couldn’t even look at her. “I can’t believe Pete’d do something like that, kill someone…it was an accident, but he was going for Rick…”

Daryl was sure Pete had it coming, even if he didn’t know why, but he still didn’t like that Y/N had had to see Rick, one of his family, murdering one of her people. “Look…Rick…he’s a good guy, alright? He doesn’t go around murdering people…” Well, technically he did, didn’t they all? “Not people that don’t deserve it. That guy…I’m sure he was a threat…you don’t have to be scared of Rick or nothing…” The idea of Y/N being scared of his family made him feel uneasy…she’d been his family once, too…

“Yeah…yeah, Pete was an asshole. He was always putting up the good doctor act, but…” Y/N scoffed. “I knew how he was. Rick? He seems dangerous. I told you that first day, you all seem dangerous…but I trust you, and so I trust your friends.” Y/N shrugged and her words made Daryl feel all weird. “Pete was going to kill Rick…I mean, Rick beat the shit out of him, but still…Pete seemed quite out of himself, so I guess Rick did…what he had to do…” Y/N’s voice wavered and Daryl fought the urge to reach for her. “I just wish we could have done something else like…I don’t know, lock him or something…”

Daryl wasn’t sure of what to think of that. He pretty much was sure that the world didn’t work like that anymore. In most cases, it was to kill or get killed, with dangerous people who wanted to take your stuff and kill you for it, or just to kill you for the shake of it. This new world seemed to bring out people’s true nature. It didn’t mean he was okay with it. But he didn’t want to say all that to Y/N.

“What you mean by asshole?” He asked instead, and Y/N laid back on her seat with a sigh.

“Well…He seemed like this good guy, fooled some people, but I don’t think I’m the only one thinking something was off with him. Still, the policy seemed to be that it wasn’t our business. Anyway…I can’t swear that he beat his wife, but…let’s say I won’t be surprised to find out he did…and I don’t think he was very nice to her…” Daryl felt anger rising inside him at that, and now he was glad the prick was dead. “I guess I’ve known my fair share of awful guys to know one when I see him…”

That made Daryl wonder if she was talking about her time at the club, or if there’d been more awful guys at the city…that made him wonder…no, he wouldn't dare to bring that up, he couldn’t, wasn’t his place…and yet, he couldn’t stop thinking…

“Say it,” Y/N spoke up, startling him out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“You want to say something.”

Daryl blushed, wondering how she knew. “I don’t wanna say nothing.”

“You do.” Y/N chuckled. “Come on, Daryl…just say it, what’s wrong?”

He chewed on his thumbnail, thinking about how to word it. “Jane…Jane’s father…was he…he was an asshole too? Like Pete? That’s why you ain’t with him anymore?” As soon as he blurted it out, Daryl looked at Y/N nervously, wondering if he’d upset her or made her angry. He wasn’t sure, but she didn’t look upset or angry…she just looked tired, and she bit her lip before answering.

“No. Not at all. Don’t think he ever hit anyone.”

“Then why?” Daryl couldn’t stop himself from asking, even though he knew it wasn’t his business, even though he knew it was probably a bad idea to ask about that, that Y/N probably didn’t want to think about it.

“Well…” Y/N let out a long sigh.

“You don’t have to tell me…” Daryl said quick.

“It’s okay.” Y/N ran a hand through her hair and took a sip of tea before leaving the cup on the table and leaning back on the sofa again, fidgeting. “I’d been living at the city for like six months when Nora met Robert…they began dating and in a year they were already married. I thought it was crazy, but it seemed it worked for them…” Daryl wondered what that had to do with Jane’s father, but he listened in silence. “Then, like two years later, Lisa arrived. And you know…my best friend seemed like this proper adult to me, a husband and a kid, while I just didn’t manage to find the job I’d dreamed of, to get the life I’d hoped for, I was just a mess…but I tried not to think much about it. Felt kind of lonely but well…doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy for Nora. Then, years later, Nora got pregnant of Dawn, and I just…I don’t know, I guess something switched in me…” Y/N shrugged, seeming very awkward.

“My best friend had her life together, and I still felt like a mess…not home of my own, I knew I was going to be a waitress forever, not family of my own either, I just felt so lonely and so lost, like I didn’t know what to do with my life anymore… I mean, I wasn’t jealous of Nora or something, but I wanted to have what she had, I guess… Anyway, there was this guy who came to the café a lot and tried talking to me, Nora used to say he’d got a thing for me…anyway, he seemed nice and I asked him out. We began dating and yeah he was nice…normal and nice…it wasn’t bad…”

Daryl wondered for a second if he was feeling jealous of a guy who wasn’t anymore in Y/N’s life, but the idea was so ridiculous he didn’t acknowledge it. He had no reason neither the right to be jealous. It was stupid.

“I know that I wasn’t in love. Maybe it wasn’t fair for the guy, but I think he wasn’t either. He just wanted someone and so did I, I wanted to feel like I wasn’t forever alone and had my life together. Anyway, we had been dating for like only half a year when I told him about having a kid…like if that was the missing piece in my ‘get your life together’ shit. I half expected him to run away, and maybe I even wanted him to…He didn’t run, he just said okay, didn’t seem to care much about it. He was really…I mean…not disinterested but…well, our relationship wasn’t that exciting I guess…we were two people who didn’t want to be alone and so they were together, but who didn’t seem to be that crazy for each other at all…”

Daryl still listened in silence. He didn’t understand why Y/N might have wanted to be with someone she didn’t love and who she thought didn’t love her either, have a kid even, just not to be alone, but he decided not to say anything. It sounded like she’d had no one but Nora, and like she hadn’t been living her best life at all. It was all the opposite of what he had imagined for her when she left…

“So I got pregnant…and it seemed to make something switch in me again.” Y/N shook her head, chuckling bitterly. “I realized I was going to have a kid with a man whom I didn’t love, who was nice and was happy to have a girlfriend but didn’t seem that interested in actual me, and who didn’t seem to care about having a kid or not…And I just…I decided I couldn’t raise a baby like that.” Y/N shrugged, seeming embarrassed. “I know I was a damn idiot, to take me so long to see it, to realized I was being stupid, I can’t believe I was so focused on not being lonely, on having something else, on having that family magazine life…stupid, I know…” She gave Daryl an embarrassed, weak smile, but he still didn’t say anything.

“So I broke up with the guy…and…hell, it’s mortifying but he didn’t even seem to care that much, you know? I guess he got tired as soon as everything wasn’t perfect like the perfect movie relationship I guess he wanted. I told him that we’d make arrangements for the kid, it was his too after all, but he didn’t seem interested either…and as I began speaking less and less to him through the months, he just…slipped away…never called to ask for the baby…” Well, then that guy was a very damn idiot. But he wasn’t around and that was good…Daryl felt bad and selfish thinking that, though, sure that Y/N must have had a hard time rising Jane alone in a life she already struggled with, it couldn’t have been easy. “I know…I was stupid and such an idiot, yeah?”

“Nah…come on…” Daryl wouldn’t ever say that, no matter what. Y/N’d been going through a rough time, maybe she’d done things he couldn’t understand, but that meant nothing. “Ain’t like that…”

“I don’t regret having Jane. At all. She’s wonderful, and she made my life so much better…she’s the best thing in my life, I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone like this, I can’t explain it…” Y/N still seemed sad, but at least she was smiling now. “But I wish…I don’t know…that the circumstances would have been different, not only for me but for her too, having her the way I did…I don’t think it was fair for her…” Daryl thought she was too hard on herself, but he didn’t know what to say. “She’s the best kid but it was so, so hard sometimes, no matter I had Nora and Robert…honestly, I don’t know what I’d have done without them…”

“You did well, she’s a great kid,” Daryl tried to reassure her awkwardly. “She loves you, I don’t think she’d change anything.”

It seemed to work, since Y/N smiled to him even though she had tears in her eyes. She reached out to squeeze his hand and Daryl tried to stop himself when he noticed his hand moving on his own to lace his fingers with hers. He didn’t catch himself on time, though, but Y/N didn’t seem to mind, her fingers lacing with his as she held his hand.

“You’re still the best, Daryl Dixon.” She’d told him that same words so many times seventeen years ago, and Daryl was still unable to believe it. It made him feel all weird, combined with the feeling of her thumb stroking over his knuckles softly before she let go of his hand. She lifted her legs to rest her feet on the sofa, hugging her knees to her chest as she leaned her back against the armrest, looking at him with a smile on her face. Daryl couldn’t stop himself from looking away and fidgeting, her staring making him feel nervous and insecure. “Don’t feel like you need to stay, I’m okay.”

“I want to,” Daryl replied, peeking at her.

“Good.” Her smile widened as she bit her lip, silent for a bit. “How were things at the town after I left?”

“Same old…” He replied evasively, and she chuckled.

“And you? What did you do? I want to know how your life was too…” She begged but he was more than reluctant to talk about that. “Come on, tell me…please?”

“I did nothing…” He shifted uncomfortably. “Just…followed Merle when he was around I guess…did whatever he was doing…” He remembered Y/N saying that he always did that with Merle…it seemed he’d done what was expected of him. “Nothing else. That is.”

“Shit, I knew it…” Y/N nudged him with her feet. “Pity…you should have…I don’t know, but I always thought you’d be like....building cool shit and stuff, but Merle was always damn dragging you down, and-” Y/N stopped, biting her lip. “Sorry, I shouldn’t speak of him like that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine…” Daryl muttered, he knew she was somehow right. He couldn’t blame it all on Merle, though.

“I just wish…I don’t know, but you’re so damn smart and resourceful, Daryl, more that you give yourself credit for,” she said, and when Daryl scoffed at it, she nudged him with her feet again, a little bit harder that time. “You are. I’d say you should have come to the city with me, but well…look how well that turned out for me…” She shrugged.

“Hey, come on…you knew it was better than the life you could have had at the city.” It was true, Daryl knew, even if her life hadn’t been easy anyway. He’d had nothing to do at the city, he knew back then and he knew it now, no matter what she seemed to think. But if he’d gone…maybe her life could have been different. Maybe he could have helped her…and maybe his life would have been different, too…

“Yeah…yeah, I know. But still…I hate that it meant I had to let go of you, like…not seeing you again, and all that…” She said softly, taking Daryl aback and making him look at her as he felt something weird stir inside him at her words again. She was looking down, though, before looking at him and catching him staring, a weak smile tugging at her lips. “But I got my friend back now, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She had…they were friends again, it seemed…though Daryl didn’t know what to do with all those feelings she seemed to give him…he didn’t know if he felt for her like he’d done back then, but if he did…seventeen years had passed, he couldn’t expect to jump in as if nothing. She had her life, things were different, and she didn’t need him messing everything. If he felt like that…which he didn’t …did he…

“Would you tell me about this cool family that you have gotten?” Y/N asked him, taking him out of thoughts that were getting out of hand.

“What you wanna know?” He shrugged awkwardly.

“Everything.” She laughed softly. “Like…how did you find them? Who are them…what you’ve been doing since the world kind of ended? Just…I want to catch up…”

Daryl didn’t know why she might care, and he felt self-conscious and awkward talking about it all, but it was Y/N, and it was easier to talk with her than to other people, and a part of him wanted her to know things about him, wanted to tell her everything that troubled his mind…so if it helped to take her mind out of the events of the night and to make her feel better, then he could speak.

He ended up telling her everything…he felt like they were as it was before, with her sitting down next to him like that, looking at him like that…he wanted to feel as if those seventeen years hadn’t passed, as if they hadn’t parted ways…

He told her about the first walkers he saw, about his father getting bitten, the shame of not being able to kill him. Y/N didn’t say anything, even when he was so embarrassed he couldn’t look at her as he spoke, she just reached to squeeze his hand softly. Then he told her about finding Merle and then finding the quarry and the others. The kind of asshole he’d been with them back then. Y/N nudged him again at that, smiling at him in a way that made him keep talking.

Her smile was gone when he told her about the CDC, about almost dying there, she seemed to be hanging to every word and Daryl wondered if someone had ever listened to him with so much interest, if he’d ever talked that much. Then he told her about the farm…he wasn’t sure about telling her about Sophia, but he couldn’t help himself, and he hated how it seemed to make her sad, but then her hand was on his again, soft fingers lacing with his, making it better.

Her hand was still on his when he told her about the prison, about the Governor, and losing his brother, comforting him without words, his fingers absentmindedly playing with hers as he told her about losing their home, about failing first Hershel and then Beth, losing them, about Terminus and then thinking they’d all die of thirst until they found Alexandria.

“I’m sorry you had to go through all that,” Y/N whispered and Daryl just shrugged. “But you and your people are in here now, and I know this night it might not look like so, but Alexandria is safe. You all will be safe now. It’ll be okay.”

Daryl didn’t know what to say, couldn’t say anything, just shrugged again. “We’ll make it safer,” he muttered.

“Yeah,” she smiled to him, letting go of his hand and curling against the armrest again. “Thank you for telling me all that, Daryl.”

Did it help her feel like she still knew him? Like they hadn’t known nothing of each other in years and years? Daryl didn’t know. He hoped so. He felt like he knew more about her than she knew about him…he knew how she had ended up in Alexandria, losing Nora on the way, how she had been there working in the pantry since the beginning without walkers scares, so defenseless to them that made Daryl’s stomach close in worry. He didn’t know the details, but he knew her life in the city hadn’t been easy and had been far from what she had hoped for. She’d even told him about Jane and her relationship with her father…

He felt Y/N knew more about his family than about him, and yet it still made him feel self-conscious. He wondered if maybe he should tell her about his life after she left, before the dead began walking, but it was like he had told her, there was nothing to tell…and the things he could tell…he wasn’t proud of them, actually he was ashamed of most. He didn’t want to tell her, even though he felt Y/N wouldn’t judge him or stop being his friend, but he didn’t want to risk it. She seemed to still like him now, she was his friend, and he didn’t want to lose that.

They had been silent for a long while as he thought, and when he peeked at Y/N, he saw her eyes were closed. He wondered if she was asleep or not, but he tried his best not to move or make a sound, hoping she’d get some rest after such a night. The sunrise was close, but she could still catch up some hours of sleep.

He didn’t need to sleep, he could keep watch over her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don’t know if you all will find Y/N having Jane like that unrealistic, but as for myself, I’ve found myself having these feelings quite a a lot, and so I wrote it.
> 
> Each chapter of this has less and less reads, which is sad, but at the same time, then I don’t need to worry aboutt he liberties I took writing it, since not much people like it anyway.
> 
> If you enjoyed the chapter and have time, please let me know your thoughts.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	13. Chapter 13

Daryl wasn’t sure if he’d fallen asleep or when, but it seemed like so, cheek resting on his hand and his elbow over the armrest, eyes closed and lost between the dream world and the awake one, when Y/N’s doorbell startled him. He looked around confused, Y/N was still curled up at the other end of the sofa, but the doorbell rang again and she stirred awake, seeming as confused as him.

“What…” Her eyes and landed on him…”Shit, I’m sorry, I-” Another ring and Y/N jumped onto her feet. “I have to open.”

Daryl didn’t know what to do. He guessed he should go and talk to Rick and Carol, see what they were going to do now, what they needed him to do. He didn’t move from the sofa, though, running a hand through his messy hair and rubbing his eyes as he heard Y/N speaking with whoever was on the door.

“Hey, Rachel, thanks for having Jane and bringing her back.”

“It’s okay! They were already tucked in bed last night, reading that book Jane had brought.”

“Thank you…we’ll talk about last night later… Jane, say goodbye.”

“Bye! Thank you! I’ll see you later!”

Daryl saw Jane walking past the corridor and towards the stairs but then she backtracked, looking into the living room and frowning, but she grinned when she spotted him.

“Daryl!” She rushed to him and Y/N also walked back. “Have you come to have breakfast with us?”

“I, uh…” He really should go talk to Rick, help around, just do something. “Yeah?”

“Jane, got showered and change clothes while I make breakfast,” Y/N instructed, giving Daryl and apologetic look, and Jane nodded and rushed upstairs. “I’m sorry, Daryl, you stayed all night because of me and I fell asleep on you, you could have left…”

“I kind of fell asleep too…” He wouldn’t have left her like that, without her knowing he was leaving and waking up alone after such a night.

“You don’t need to stay, I know there must be things to do after…well…everything…”

Daryl was sure too, but he shrugged. “It’s okay, I want that breakfast.”

Y/N looked at him with a smile that reminded him a bit of Jane’s and nodded, going towards the kitchen and Daryl followed her.

*

“It’s not fancy…” Y/N said ad he stirred the oatmeal she was making for breakfast.

“I ain’t one for fancy…” Daryl shrugged. “That’s what we always had at the prison anyway.”

“Bet Carol makes it better than me…” Y/N muttered and Daryl snorted, shaking his head.

“She’s good at cooking but she ain’t no cook, not just, don’t know what she’s doing playing that here…” Daryl wasn’t sure if Carol and Rick would want him to say that to Y/N, but did it mattered after last night? Besides…that was Y/N…

“What’s she then?” Y/N stopped stirring to look at him.

“She’s…” What was Carol? A friend, a good woman, but a dangerous and lethal one when needed to. He was lucky he was her friend and not an enemy, having someone like Carol protecting you was good, way better than having her killing you when needed. “She’s a survivor.”

“Aren’t you all?” Y/N smirked. “But yeah…I know…I think there’s more to her than what she shows.”

“She’s a fighter, one of the best. Saved us at Terminus, and many more times.”

“Can’t believe such a place existed….” Y/N shuddered at the mention of Terminus. “I think I’m going to make some tea…can you?”

Y/N passed him the spoon to stir the porridge, and as he looked at the pot it suddenly dawned on him how weird and surreal all of this was. He was in a strange safe place in the middle of the apocalypse, making porridge as if nothing in Y/N’s kitchen after finding her again seventeen years later. He wondered if Y/N thought like that too, and when he looked at her she was frowning at the pot.

“This is…do you think this is okay?” She asked weakly. “Making breakfast as if nothing after…last night…”

“It’s not like people stop eating just because people die…we’d be starving by now then,” Daryl shrugged awkwardly, not sure as to what to say, but he didn’t want Y/N to feel bad.

“I guess…and I don’t want to act freaked out in front of Jane…”

“You ain’t gonna tell her?”

“I don’t know…”

Daryl chewed on his lip. He knew it wasn’t his business, he’d no place on the matter, and yet... “I know you wanna protect the kid…but she gotta know how the world is, same she gotta learn to protect herself from it…”

“Yeah…I know you’re right…” Y/N gave him a sad smile. “I’ll see about how to explain it to her…keep stirring.” She left the kitchen and came back with their two cups of tea. “You didn’t get to drink yours…want me to make you a fresh one?”

“I…uh…”

“If you don’t like it you can say it,” Jane’s voice came from the kitchen’s door and Daryl was once again surprised by how that kid managed to sneak on him all the time. “I don’t. Mom wouldn’t mind.”

“I wouldn’t.” Y/N chuckled. “It’s okay if you don’t like it, Dixon, more for me.” She took the spoon again, grinning at him as she seemed amused, while Jane got them three bowls ready. Y/N poured the oatmeal into them and got them on the table. “Ready.”

“Thanks…” Daryl sat down, feeling a bit awkward, he couldn’t help it, and so he focused his attention on the food.

“Did Aaron and you find someone out there?” Jane asked.

“Nah…just walkers…” Daryl didn’t give any details, didn’t feel like it, and probably Y/N didn’t want him telling Jane everything that had happened out there.

The little girl let out a disappointed sound but then she was asking more questions, “I’ve never been out since we came to Alexandria all this time ago…how is it now?”

“Worse. Dangerous.” Daryl replied honestly but he peeked at Y/N after it. She didn’t seem upset, though.

“That’s what everyone says…” Jane sighed. “I still think I’d like to go outside once, it’d be just for a walk…just to see something else…”

“That’s dangerous, darling, listen to Daryl. There’re monsters and…and bad people. It’s not safe.”

She was right, Daryl knew, and yet…he could take Jane out, let her see some squirrels in the woods, keep her safe…he didn’t say anything, he knew Y/N probably wouldn’t like it. She could go with them too, though, he could keep them both safe, they could go out the three together and…

“Bad people?” Jane’s voice interrupted his thoughts before they could get out of hand.

“Yes. We’ve been lucky here, in Alexandria, but Daryl and his family had encountered plenty of bad people before arriving here. We have to be thankful we’re safe in here.”

“Tell me.” Jane looked at him with wide eyes and Daryl didn’t know what to do, he wasn’t sure Y/N would want her daughter to know about all that.

“I uh…gotta go… Gotta help with…” He replied evasively.

“With what?”

“Jane…” Y/N warned. “Let him be, don’t be nosy.”

“Okay…” The little girl pouted.

“There was a…problem, yesterday.” Y/N began, taking Daryl by surprise. “Daryl’s family is helping with it, and so he’s going to help too.” To what extent he was actually going to help, or what was in Rick’s mind now, Daryl didn’t know.

“What problem?”

“I’ll tell you about it later, now said goodbye to Daryl.”

“Okay…” Jane let out a frustrated sigh. “Bye, Daryl.”

“Bye, sunsh-Jane.”

Daryl got up and Y/N walked him to the door. “Thank you, Daryl, for everything,” Y/N said softly, and when he looked at her, seeing the way in which she was looking at him… he felt all kinds of weird things going through him, making him want to run away.

“Ain’t nothing…”

“It was something. Thank you…” Y/N thanked him again, biting her lip and looking at him in a way that sent more weird things to his stomach. She leaned closer, seeming hesitant, but then she placed a quick kiss to his cheek that made electricity buzz through him. “I’ll see you later.” She said bashfully and Daryl nodded, blushing again, feeling all weird still, turning around and barely stopping himself from straight-up running away.

*

A ceremony was held for Reg. Daryl went, even though he felt awkward as hell. Y/N went too, and she stood next to him and Carol in silence as if she could read how uncomfortable he was feeling. Jane was there too, and so he guessed Y/N had more or less told her what had happened. The little girl was solemn and silent during the ceremony, holding her mother’s hand. Daryl hoped they were okay. He didn’t know if them and Reggie were close, he doubted it, but still he knew that an event like what had happened last night would have hit all the Alexandrians hard, including them. He hoped Y/N knew he’d make sure she and the kid were safe, nothing like that would happen again.

After that, Rick began arguing what to do with Pete’s body, refusing to bury it inside Alexandria. Daryl didn’t care about that at all, and so he stepped away. Even though the only walker they’d seen in Alexandria had come through the damn door that some idiot had left open, Daryl decided that checking the walls couldn’t hurt. He’d just finished walking around the perimeter and decided to head out to hunt when he noticed Y/N approaching.

“So, what’s the verdict, Mr.Expert? Did we build them well?”

“Good enough,” Daryl shrugged. “Could be better, but they ain’t bad, walkers can’t get in…not so sure about people not climbing them and getting in…”

“We should see them before that, Rick has someone always watching at the lookout.”

“Yeah, and he has something guarding the door and see what happened.” Daryl scoffed.

“I’m sure it won’t happen again…we’ll do better, we’ll listen to Rick and all of you…” Y/N assured, but Daryl wasn’t so sure as for what most of the Alexandrians thought about Rick. “Oh…I spoke to Carol, by the way…”

“Yeah?” Daryl didn’t know why that still made him nervous. Carol was his best friend and Y/N had been his…had been his best friend, too. So it’d be good if they were good friends too.

“Yeah…” Y/N smirked as if she had read his mind, making him more nervous. “To ask her about you and so she’d tell me all your secrets from this time apart,” she chuckled. “No, silly. I asked her to train me, we start later or tomorrow I think.”

“Good, that’s good.” It was indeed, Daryl didn’t like that she couldn’t fight…which make him wonder…why hadn’t he offered to train her himself? He’d never done it before, though, he wasn’t sure he’d be good at that, but still…though maybe he wouldn’t be a good teacher, maybe she’d get angry at him, maybe…

“She asked why aren’t you training me yourself, though, since we’re friends.”

Damn it. That was such a Carol thing to do, but Daryl didn’t know what was she playing. He didn’t know what to say. “I ain’t no teacher.” He shrugged.

“Okay.” Y/N nodded, didn’t seem to mind. “But if you ever feel like training together…”

“Would you want to?” He found himself asking, and those nervous twirls were back to his stomach.

“Daryl, why wouldn’t I?”

“Dunno…” He shrugged, looking down.

“You’re so silly sometimes, Dixon, but that’s kind of your charm,” Y/N teased, making him peek at her, and the fond way in which she was looking at him, her soft smile, help him relax even though those nervous twirls didn’t leave him. “Are you free now, maybe?”

“I was going out hunting,” He blurted out before he could say that yes he was, he could just change plans. “You could come…maybe…if you want…” It wasn’t like they couldn’t train out there, he could even teach her to track maybe…she hadn’t liked to hunt back when they were younger, but things were different now, so maybe…

“I don’t know…” Y/N bit her lip. “It was serious, what I told Jane this morning. The outside is dangerous. We just got a walker inside.”

“Yeah, cos some dumbass forgot how to properly lock a door.” Daryl scoffed. “There ain’t that many in the nearby woods. I wouldn’t let them get close to you.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Y/N said softly in a way that had his stomach spinning again. “But I don’t want your ass getting eaten because of me.”

“Stop it…”

“Besides, can you imagine how upset Jane would be if she finds out I went out with you after this morning I told her she couldn’t because it’s dangerous?”

Then…then maybe she could go and pick her up, and they could go out the three together, track a rabbit or some squirrels, he could tell them how to survive out there and…before he could say nothing like that, not like Daryl was sure he’d have dared, Maggie approached them, looking agitated.

“Hey, Rick’s back and he wants to meet with us all, it seems serious.”

Y/N gave him a worried look, but Daryl didn’t know what the hell was going on. What now. “Come on.” He nodded at Y/N and they both rushed behind Maggie.

*

Seeing it himself, that big quarry full of the biggest herd of walkers, it was even worse than what Rick had said…and Rick had painted it bad enough. Daryl had just come back after going out with Rick, Michonne, Maggie, Glenn and a couple of Alexandrians to asses the situation. And the situation was a damn nightmare.

So much for Alexandria being safe…if that herd broke lose it’d go right to Alexandria, where people still didn’t know how to fight at all, not that they had nothing to do against a herd that big even if they did.

Rick was right, they couldn’t face the herd and they couldn’t just hide behind walls, so many walkers would tear the damn place apart. They had to free the herd, control it, divide it and divert it somewhere else…it sounded like hard work enough, and to that they had to add that they had barely anyone who could fight with them. At least those Alexandrians better be good at building, they had indeed made good walls.

They would start working first thing in the morning, digging ditches and putting up walls to lead the walkers to where they needed them to go, far from Alexandria. Rick had asked him to be in one of the teams leading walkers away…shouldn’t be hard, those geeks were attracted to sound, they’d follow his bike with no problem, he’d lead them away. He just hoped the others could divert the other groups too, they couldn’t have them joining again or there would be no way of controlling it…that, if they managed to get the herd out of the quarry without problem…so many things could go wrong…

“I take it’s as bad as Rick said,” Carol’s voice took him out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“Looking at your face, I don’t need to ask.”

“Yeah…” Daryl let out a weary sigh. “Why didn’t you come out with us anyway?”

“Someone has to stay in here, control the people, make sure people don’t freak out…some of them are scared, others don’t agree with Rick plans, we don’t need problems in here adding to what we have outside…” Carol shrugged and Daryl hummed. All that sounded like something Deanna should be doing, but she seemed to be relying more and more on Rick...guess that would make Alexandria safer, but didn’t make them more likable at the eyes of most of the Alexandrians. “Besides, since hearing the news, Y/N seemed even keener on learning to fight, so we began training already.”

“Yeah?” That picked Daryl’s interest. “How was it?”

“Good…she tries her best to learn, doesn’t mind to get dirty, she’ll be good at learning. She has no idea now but well…same as everyone here…but she’ll be good.” That was good news, and it kind of made him feel proud in a strange way.

“Good.”

“I like it, training with her…which brings me to the question, why don’t you train with her too?” There it was, that question again, making him groan. “What?”

“Dunno…” He didn’t even know why he hadn’t offered to do so, he just knew that despite him enjoying to be with her, sometimes it made him nervous too…enough to forget he actually could train her himself…did that make him nervous too? He didn’t know…

“It’s cos you know I’m way better than you with the knife,” Carol teased, making him snort.

“In your dreams.” He smirked.

“Then what?”

“You’re a better teacher…ain’t much of a teacher myself…”

“I think you underestimate yourself.” Carol elbowed him playfully. “I think she’d like to train with you…you could show her how to handle the crossbow, that way she could practice her aim without making sound or wasting bullets…I think she’d like it.”

Yeah…yeah, he could do that. Why he hadn’t thought about it himself. Why thinking about Y/N made him such a mess sometimes…Carol was right. He probably didn’t have the time now, if he’d to work on Rick’s plan, but if Carol kept training Y/N, then it’d be alright, and later he’d try and train her too, if she wanted… “She didn’t seem very interested in the crossbow before, when we were young, didn’t like to see me hunting that much…”

“Well, things are different now.” Carol looked at him in a way that Daryl didn’t like at all, making him nervous. “You know…if I’m going to be training with her, who knows…maybe I’ll get to learn a thing or two about you, from before…I bet Y/N has a lot to say…and I’m dying to know…”

Damn it…he’d been worried about Carol telling Y/N stuff about him without him knowing about it, even though he didn’t know why it worried him…and now to that he had to add to be worried about what Y/N might tell Carol about him, even if he didn’t know why that made him nervous too. It seemed Carol wanted to mess with him like that, because then she began laughing.

“You’re cute,” she said as she nudged him, and Daryl scoffed. “She was worried, though, about you being out there after what Rick said.”

That made the weird twirls come back to life inside his stomach. “I was gonna see her now.” He meant it when he had told her now he’d let her know whenever he left, but also when he was back and safe, since she cared…which made him feel all warm and he really needed to stop that bullshit before Carol noticed it.

“Gonna spend the night there with her today too?” Carol chuckled.

“What?” Daryl snapped, feeling all self-conscious, but Carol just arched an eyebrow at him. “Nah…nah…it was…she was scared yesterday after the shit she saw, one of his neighbors being murdered by a dickead and a walker getting in because an idiot can’t close a door, you know?” He was sounded defensive, he knew, making it worse judging by Carol’s face, but he couldn’t help himself.

“I said nothing…just asking…” She smirked. “See you later, then.”

Daryl nodded, rushing away without another word before Carol could embarrass him more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Domestic and awkward stuff. Same old.
> 
> If you enjoyed the chapter and have time, please leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	14. Chapter 14

Daryl could see relief go through Y/N’s face when she opened the door and found him back, before she looked worried again. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, nothing good could come from sugar-coating it. “But we’ll fix it.”

“Jane and Dawn are playing upstairs,” Y/N said, looking inside before closing the door and gesturing Daryl to sit down with her at the swing on the porch. “Tell me.”

“It’s like Rick said, there’s a herd trapped in a quarry, I haven’t seen one that big before. If they broke lose, Alexandria is in their way, they’ll tear the place apart. They ain’t gonna be trapped forever, we have to do something, take them away.”

“Shit, Daryl.” Y/N let out a sigh. “You don’t know how glad I’m you’re here…I mean you, in particular, but your people too. Like…now that I look at it, how can we have been living like this? We felt as if we were so safe, as if nothing bad could happen to us in here…when we had such a threat right outside our door, and if you all weren’t here, if Rick hadn’t found out…we wouldn’t even know what to do…we’d be doomed…just…shit…”

“Hey…” She was right, but Daryl didn’t like to hear her speak like that, it made him feel bad, he didn’t want her thinking that. “We’ll fix it. Rick’s working on it.”

“That plan…Daryl, it sounds dangerous.” She looked at him with uncertain eyes and Daryl hated that she seemed scared. “If the herd is that big…setting it loose, trying to lead it away from us…I don’t know…”

Those Alexandrians had probably never seen so many walkers together, Y/N too, Daryl could understand their fear…hell, he was worried too. But he knew they could do it. “It’ll be okay, we’ll be freeing it in groups that we can handle, they follow the sound so we’ll guide them away,” he explained. “It’ll be okay, I promise.” He didn’t know why he said that. He couldn’t promise such a thing. Yet he couldn’t help himself.

“Okay.” Y/N gave him a weak smile.

“We gotta work our asses off…but we’ll fix it,” he assured her again, glad when Y/N gave him another smile.

“Thanks.”

“Carol told me you started training?” He asked, trying to have her thinking about something else, and he smirked when he heard her groaning.

“Yeah…I’m like, so bad at it.”

“That ain’t true. Carol told me you did good.”

“Yeah?” Y/N smiled in a way that had him smiling too. “That’s…good to know. But I don’t think I could kill even the clumsiest walker…I’ll try to improve, though.”

“Just keep trying, you’ll be good.”

“Good as Carol?” Y/N teased, smiling wider, and Daryl chuckled.

“Ain’t so sure of that, she’s pretty good…”

“Yeah, I know, I’ve just trained for a couple of hours with her and damn, I’m hurting everywhere…” Y/N complained, lifting her sleeve to show her a bruise, and Daryl felt that weird sense of pride again. Then she leaned back, looking at him as she chewed on her lower lip. “You know…I thought…at first…” She trailed off without finishing her sentence.

“What?”

“Nothing…”

“What?” Daryl insisted, frowning in confusion.

“Nothing, just…” Y/N shrugged awkwardly and Daryl arched his eyebrows at her, confused at what was going on. “It’s embarrassing.”

“What is it?” Daryl sounded harsher than he’d wanted, but he couldn’t help it, he just needed her to tell him whatever it was.

“Okay…” Y/N sighed, leaning back further and running a hand through her hair as if hiding. “At first, I thought…first time I saw her…I thought that you and Carol were like a thing, cause…well…yeah”

“A thing?” Daryl blinked at her. “What you mean?”

Y/N groaned, sinking even further into her seat. “I mean…that I thought she was like your wife or something…” Daryl could just look at her at that, wordless and dumbfounded. “Come on! I hadn’t seen you in more than seventeen years, I thought you’d have someone…and you both seemed close…I thought if you weren’t together from before, you were now…”

“She ain’t…we ain’t…” Daryl stammered, all flustered now that he knew what was in Y/N’s mind.

“Yeah, yeah, I know…it was just that first moment.” Y/N shrugged, seeming just as embarrassed.

Daryl didn’t know what to say, and so he said nothing, and neither did Y/N. After a while, though, she looked at him as he chewed on her lip again, and Daryl felt nervous wondering what was she thinking now.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Carol and I never-” He began, shifting on his seat as he felt beyond uncomfortable.

“I know, I know, it’s not that.” Y/N stopped him. “Just…all these years…did you have someone like that, before? Like, a woman or…someone…you don’t have to tell me…”

Daryl didn’t know why Y/N was asking him all that now and he chewed on his thumbnail nervously, shaking his head. “No. No like that,” he rasped, wondering what would Y/N think, what was she expecting him to say.

“Really? Why?” Daryl didn’t know what to answer to that, he didn’t know the answer, so he just shrugged awkwardly, chewing at the skin of his fingernail. “I thought…I don’t know…I guessed you’d have…dunno…it was…seventeen years, so I thought…” Y/N trailed off.

“Ain’t like you got yourself married either,” Daryl blurted out, realizing too late that it was probably a wrong thing to say, but Y/N just snorted.

“Hey, I got myself a kid, does that seem little to you?”

Daryl shook his head no. Having a kid was no little thing…and Jane wasn’t a little thing at all. But now that Y/N talked about it, it did surprise him that Y/N hadn’t gotten married or had had any serious relationship, not even with the father of her daughter, unless she hadn’t told him about it. Him…was him…but Y/N…She was smart, fun, beautiful, she could have gotten anyone she wanted, he was sure, yet it seemed she hadn’t, she’d told him how lonely she had felt, to the point of having a kid with a man she didn’t love. But Daryl was sure she could have gotten someone whom she loved, someone who loved her. ..yet she hadn’t. He didn’t know what to think about it all.

He didn’t realize he’d kept bitting his thumbnail until Y/N took his hand, inspecting the skin that was starting to bleed and preventing him from biting it more. She didn’t let go of his hand, the touch sending electricity rushing through him and he could feel his fingers twitching nervously, but he hoped Y/N didn’t let go of his hand.

“I kind of…like it that way…that you didn’t have anyone…” Y/N suddenly said, seeming thoughtful and making Daryl frown at her. “Goodness, that came out wrong, sorry,” Y/N rushed to apologize, biting her lip as she looked at him. “I mean…what I mean is that…if you had a wife, or kids, or both…anything like that…and you didn’t have them with you now..well, I guess it probably meant that you lost them in this mess of a world…and I don’t want you going through something like that.”

Yes…he understood what Y/N meant now. He had lost people, though, important people, friends, family, and every time it had hurt as if his heart was being ripped. First with Merle, he hadn’t felt that broken before, and then all the others…Hershel and Beth were still a bolt to the heart, and he didn’t think the feeling would ever leave…and there was that couple of times he thought he had lost Carol too…

“You have lost enough…” Y/N whispered as if reading his mind, her fingers lacing with his, and Daryl nodded, unable to speak and not knowing what to say anyway. “Sorry, I’m depressing…I made you sad…”

“Nah…it’s okay…”

“Just…I know how lucky I am to have Jane safe with me, that were are both safe…” Yes, she was right, and Daryl’d do everything he could so they’d keep being safe. “And I’m…well…a bit surprised that you…didn’t got anyone in all these years, but…not in a bad way, cause…I mean…well, it’s okay…”

“I know it’s okay…” Daryl frowned, once again uncomfortable and wondering again what the hell Y/N meant.

If Y/N was going to say anything else, she was interrupted by the voice of Jane coming from inside. “Mom, what’s for dinner?” Then she was walking out, Dawn following her. “Daryl! Hi!” She grinned, and Dawn waved shyly at him too. Damn, they really were cute kids.

“Spaghetti, again,” Y/N answered, letting go of his hand. “Dawn, do you want to stay for dinner?” The little girl nodded, smiling softly.

“And you?” Jane asked him taking Daryl by surprise.

“I ain’t gonna say no to spaghetti.” He heard himself saying.

“Mind you, those are not like Eric’s…I’m warning you…” Y/N said, getting up to walk into the house.

*

Daryl didn’t know why Y/N complained that much about her food. Her spaghetti wasn’t bad, it was actually good, not Eric’s level, but good, and he found himself devouring mouthful after mouthful, which judging by the way Y/N looked at him, it seemed to please her.

“An improvement from the sandwiches,” he joked and Y/N snorted, nudging him.

It was…strange, and normal, having spaghetti with Y/N and the kids, everyone seeming content…as if just the day before a man hadn’t died murdered by another neighbor who also got himself killed…as if the biggest herd of walkers weren’t trapped at the outside of Alexandria, ready to break loose and tear through the settlement, as if tomorrow they didn’t have to start working to prevent that from happening. Yes…it was strange, and normal, and Daryl didn’t know what to think, how it made him feel, but he knew it didn’t make him feel bad, no matter how surreal everything was.

He wasn’t looking forward to leave after dinner, for some reason, as it seemed to always happen lately whenever he was with Y/N, but he knew Rick needed him, he’d been away for too long already, there were things to do and to get ready for the next day.

For some reason, while Y/N washed the dishes, Jane insisted on walking him to the door. It seemed to amuse Y/N, but Daryl found himself glancing suspiciously at the little girl as she walked with him outside, wondering if she wasn’t up to something. Before he could say goodbye and rush away, Jane spoke.

“Do you like my mom?”

“What?” Daryl almost chocked, feeling blood rushing through his face, blushing up to his hears.

Jane rolled her eyes at him. “I saw you holding hands, before, do you like her?” Daryl opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, not knowing what to do or say as his brain seemed to stop working, feeling cornered and like running away, but he refused to run away from a little girl, even if all his cells were urging him to do so…it was ridiculous…and yet. “So?” Jane pressed, arching her eyebrows.

“I…I…yeah, she’s my friend…”

“Hmm…hmm…” Jane hummed, not seeming very impressed. “Well, she does like you.”

Once again, Daryl didn’t know what to say or even what to think. So Y/N…but yeah, he was his friend too, so she must like him…unless Jane meant…but nah…anyway why was he listening to a kid…she was just messing around and what did she know anyway…

“Gotta go,” he muttered, turning around.

“Hey!” Jane called after him. “It’s okay if you like my mom! You’re nice!”

*

The next day, the construction of the wall to lead the walkers began. It was damn hard word, the sun beating on them, not resting so it’d be finished as soon as possible, the threat of the walkers breaking loose at any moment hanging over them. Daryl grunted as he dug one of the ditches for a new wall, all his muscles aching after hours and hours of working nonstop.

He knew he should have slept more than he had, knowing the day that he had ahead, but his brain hadn’t wanted to shut up, replaying Jane’s words. A kid’s words…Daryl knew it was stupid and yet…

Did he like Y/N? Yeah, of course he did…but Jane seemed to be implying something more than friendly. He had loved her once, yeah…but did he now? Or it was just a memory of it…he didn’t like her the same way he liked Carol, did that mean something? Yeah, she stirred things…and when he closed his eyes he could almost see himself leaning in, the feeling of her lips on his and…

No. He had to stop it. He had fallen once for her and it had broken his heart. Why he couldn’t just be her friend, care for her, without his brain doing weird things? She had cared for him once…he still did. Had she loved him? Daryl wasn’t sure…but it seemed like she might have. That didn’t mean she still had those feelings, seventeen damn years had come and gone.

And yet Jane said that Y/N liked him…and sure she did, they were friends…but did Jane meant…nah, nah, he needed to stop this bullshit, Jane was a kid, what did she know anyway, this was ridiculous. There were far more important business to focus on, he had a job to do, he needed to focus and stop his mind from wandering to nonsense.

There was no point in overthinking it. He got Y/N again, miraculously so, she was back in his life, seemed to sill care for him, spending time with him…even though she hadn’t seen him in years and years…she was with him again…he couldn’t let himself mess that…

He was still lost in thought when he felt something wet and cold pressing against the back of his neck, taking him by surprise, and he let out an embarrassing yelp. He turned around to see what the hell was going on to find Y/N laughing at his reaction, seeming thoroughly amused as he held a can of soda on her hand.

“Sorry!” She apologized without stopping giggling and Daryl blushed, embarrassed at himself. “But you looked like you needed it.” She held the can for him, and even though Daryl had begun to feel grumpy, embarrassed as he was, her smile made him feel better, somehow.

“Thanks…” He murmured, taking the can. He had water, but it had gone warm by now. “What you doing out here.” He looked around, instinctually scanning for danger even though he knew there weren’t walkers close, and also wondering if Y/N had come alone. It seemed like so. “You came alone from Alexandria?” It was dangerous, no matter he was pleased to see that Y/N had attached his knife, now hers, to her belt. It was dangerous for her to go out alone.

“No, with Carol, she went to speak with Rick, though,” she said, and Daryl relaxed, watching as Carol waved at him from ahead as she walked towards another group. “We just finished training and I wanted to come and see how everything was going. Seems tiring.”

“It is.” Daryl nodded, taking a long sip of the soda before passing the can back to Y/N so she could drink too. “But if we keep it like this, we’ll have it all ready in a couple of days.”

“Good…” Y/N sipped at the soda and gave it back to him. “Maybe I should come to give a hand…”

“Nah, you’re working at the pantry.” Honestly, Daryl didn’t want her out there when it wasn’t that safe and she wasn’t still very experienced with the knife, not with such a big herd close and without him being able to keep a close eye on her.

“Yes, ‘cause that’s such a hard job…” She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Besides, you gotta keep training, alright?”

“That’s true.” Y/N smiled at that. “I’m not sure, but I think today I did a bit better…at least I hadn’t forgotten all I learned yesterday…” There was again, that weird sense of pride at hearing that she was doing well at training. “Anyway…I wanted to see the quarry, would you take me there?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, please…”

Reluctantly, Daryl walked her there, watching her face as she took in the herd of walkers trapped in the quarry, eyes widening at the sight.

“Shit, Daryl…” Her scared eyes were now on him, before drifting back to the herd. “I know you told me it was big, but this…damn…”

“Hey, we’re working on it.” Daryl tried to reassure her, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. “We’ll fix it.”

“Yeah…” Y/N nodded, giving him a grateful smile and placing her hand on top of his, making him feel all weird again, Jane’s words back to his mind, he couldn’t help it, but he tried to stop it.

“Come on, I’ll get you back.”

“Jane’s going to be all grumpy when she knows I actually went out and didn’t let her…” Y/N chuckled softly and Daryl chewed on his lip before actually saying what he was thinking.

“When it’s safe, we could go out with her, maybe, if you want…” He said as he walked, looking down. “Could go to the woods, maybe…”

“Sounds good.” To his relief, Y/N nodded, smiling. “I always liked to go out to the woods with you.”

“Alright…” Those twirls were back on his stomach and there was no way of stopping them.

*

Everything was done and ready, though Daryl checked everything once again, just in case, while Rick reminded the plan to the Alexandrians once again. Today there’d review everything, and tomorrow they’d begin leading the herd away.

Before he knew what was happening, before anyone could do anything, one of the trucks balanced near the edge of the cliff fell down, tearing apart everything that was keeping the herd trapped in the quarry, the sound attracting them and they began to move towards the opening.

“Come on! Come, people!” Rick was urging everyone. “We have to start now, everyone has a job to do! Come on, now!”

Daryl’s mind was in Alexandria, though, in the people there, Y/N, Jane, Carol, Aaron, Eric…if they didn’t manage, the herd would go right to them…they needed to stop it, he had to get moving and do something, do his job, he couldn’t just stand there looking at the herd pouring out the quarry.

He kicked into action, rushing to his bike and riding towards the herd, as close as he could without it being too dangerous, making noise until he managed to get a big portion of the herd following him, and soon Sasha and Abraham were joining him on a truck as planned, leading as many walkers away as they could.

Come on.

It had to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wops
> 
> If you enjoyed the chapter and have time, please leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re going slightly off canon in this chapter, you’ll see what I mean.

It had to be a damn nightmare.

One might think that after the biggest herd of walkers broke loose before it was planned, nothing could get worse, but it seemed it could. Daryl was leading a big part of the herd, along with Sasha and Abraham, away from Alexandria, but he knew there were groups that weren’t following him. He had to trust that Rick and the others would manage, would stop them from getting to Alexandria as they had planned.

He was riding slow, silently repeating to himself that everything was okay, the herd wouldn’t reach Alexandria, Carol was there to look after Y/N and Jane in case some stray group might go to the walls, and yes, they had walls too, it’d be alright. Just some kilometers more and the herd would be far enough…they had reviewed the plan again and again…

But then, a honk had pierced through the air.

A honk coming from Alexandria.

Daryl didn’t know what the hell was going on, but he knew that it wasn’t good. It’d bring all the walkers around to the place, attracted to the noise. He could already see part of his herd turning their heads towards the sound, but Sasha slammed the honk of the truck, catching their attention again. The honk from Alexandria wasn’t stopping, though, and that couldn’t be good either. Why wasn’t anyone stopping it? Something must be wrong…

All the worst scenarios were running through his head and he barely heard Rick through the walkie, saying he was on his way to Alexandria and to not stop leading the herd away, until the walkie went dead and Rick stopped answering to his calls. Something must be definitely very wrong.

Daryl’s heart was beating hard, hard, the sound loud in his ears, almost muffling the growls and moans of the dead. He needed to go to Alexandria, see what was happening, help around, stop whatever was going on. He needed to see that everything was okay. Y/N…he should have made sure she and Jane knew how to handle themselves, but if they were attacked by walkers, that would be the end for them, no matter Carol and Aaron where there…and what if that honk was sounding for something worse, even worse than walkers? Daryl speeded up, looking for a detour to go back to Alexandria without needing to cross the sea of walkers, though he would if he needed to.

“Daryl!” Came the voice of Sasha through the walkie. “No! I know you want to go back, but we can’t! They’ll be okay, we have to keep going, we’re not at the mark yet!” Daryl ignored her, he’d already spotted a path that would take him to Alexandria, and he rode to it. “Daryl! If you don’t help us leading the herd, they’re going to split! They’ll go back to Alexandria and we won’t be able to stop it! They’ll bring down the place!”

Daryl stopped the bike. He didn’t know what to do. Damn it. Sasha was right, he could already see some of the walkers beginning to stray from the herd, they couldn’t let the whole thing, or even just a part of it, turn back and reach Alexandria. But something bad could already be happening there, everyone could be in danger already, and he wasn’t there, he had to do something…but what…

“Daryl!”

Sasha slammed the honk again, trying to attract a group of walkers that were already turning back. He had to help her. He had to trust the others would fix whatever was going on in Alexandria, he had to trust Carol would keep Y/N and Jane safe from whatever it was…hell, maybe it was nothing at all, just a random honk going off at an inconvenient moment…

Turning around again, he speeded up until he was in front of the herd again, slowing down, leading them towards the mark.

*

It had worked, his part of the plan at least, they had led the herd to the point where Rick wanted it, and then gotten rid of them, speeding up back towards Alexandria. He was trying not to go so fast that he’d lose Sasha and Abraham on the truck, but it was being hard, he needed to reach Alexandria and see that everything was okay, that everyone was safe…

Then everything went to shit again.

A group of people had come out of nowhere as they drove through what had seemed to be a deserted village, not so deserted it seemed, and without a word or a question, they had begun shooting at them. What the shit.

Quickly, he dodged the shots as best as he could until his bike tottled over. He hit the ground with a grunt, the bike landing heavily on top of him as both of them skidded through the pavement, but he didn’t have the time to acknowledge the pain, they were still shooting at him as so he got up, groaning and getting onto the bike again.

He didn’t want to leave Sasha and Abraham behind, but they had the protection of the truck while he had nothing and so he sped up as fast as he could, going into the woods, hoping to lose the people there, and he kept riding until the wheel of the bike got caught in the mug, he hadn’t seen it coming, too busy looking behind him to see if he was being followed, and the bike sent him forwards, falling down onto the hard ground with a thud, grunting as he skidded through mud and dirt, and his last thought before everything went black was that at least that time the damn bike hadn’t fallen on top of him.

Daryl opened his eyes with a groan. He had only been unconscious for a few seconds, but he still felt confused. “Shit…fuck…” Everything hurt…he felt a dull ache at the side of his head, and when he went to lift his arm to probe at it, pain shot through it. Turning his head, which made him go slightly dizzy, he noticed a big gash from his shoulder down to his elbow, which had an ugly-looking wound on it, his sleeve torn. He knew he had more scrapes, scratches, bruises and what not under his clothes, he could feel it, everything hurt and stung, and his clothes were torn on more places.

At least he had fallen on mud, mostly, not in stones, it could have been worse, he guessed, he hadn’t broken anything it seemed, but shit, everything hurt. He turned his head to look at his other side and scoffed. Was this a joke of the universe or what. He was lying down next to another biker and he didn’t know what had happened to the guy, but he was all charred. He was wearing a helmet, and it came to his mind that couple of times Carol had scolded him for riding without a helmet, so long ago. A helmet hadn’t helped much that guy.

Carol…

She was in Alexandria. With Y/N, and Jane. He had to go back, he had to see that everyone was okay. He sat up, looked around and spotted his bike near him. He didn’t bother trying to get up, instead, he crawled to the bike, groaning. He took a bottle of water out of his bag, took off his jacket and tore it to make a rag, pouring the water on it and dabbing at the scratches that he could see, hissing at the pain. The gash was going to need more than water, and so his open elbow, and he tore another piece of fabric to bandage it tight.

Okay. Now he had to get going. Get to Alexandria. Oh…find Sasha and Abraham too…damn he hoped they were okay…

He had just gotten up when he heard a shot and then he felt a burning pain on his arm, though some part of his mind realized that the bullet had just grazed him. Cursing, he began running, ignoring the pain that went through him and rushing off the path and between the trees and bushes as he heard another shot.

Fast but silently, as silent as he was used to moving in the woods, he rushed to find a good hiding spot. The sun was going down already, helping him stay hidden, and soon he spotted a man with long blond hair walking close, holding a gun in front of him. Daryl stayed silent, not giving away his position, waiting for the right moment. He had left his damn crossbow on the bike, but he silently took his knife out and once the man had his back to him, he rushed to him as silent as he could.

He took the man by surprise and managed to hook his arm around him, pinning him, his other hand pressing the blade of his knife against his throat. “Drop it!” The man struggled and Daryl pressed the blade harder. “Drop it!” He growled again, and this time the man dropped the gun.

“Don’t you dare to move or I slit your throat open.” He threatened, pushing the man until he was on his knees and, without letting go of him, Daryl lowered down to take the gun. “Don’t move,” he warned, walking around the man until he was in front of him. “Why the hell were you shooting at us?!”

“We thought you were coming for us, that you wanted our things or just to kill us for fun. It’s not the first time we come across people like that.” The man explained as he glared at Daryl, but he didn’t dare to try anything.

“We don’t want your shit, we were just pashing through.” Daryl could understand where the man was coming from, the world was like that now. “Why the hell you kept shooting and following me?!”

“You knew where we were, you could come back with more people.” Again, Daryl guessed the man had a point, but he was still pissed. He hurt everywhere and it was taking him longer than it should to go back to Alexandria and his people when they maybe were in danger, and he wanted to punch the man even though he understood his reasons. “We weren’t the type to shoot first and ask later, but man, we’ve gone through shit.”

“Everyone has…how many are you?”

“Now…eight. My wife and her sister, and people we met along the way, we were more, but our place was raided.” That explained their reaction, Daryl guessed, but he was still mildly pissed.

“The place where you began shooting at us, you mean?”

“No, that’s temporary. We’re moving north.”

“What’s north?”

“I don’t know…something better, I hope. At least a pharmacy, we’re running low on medicines, and we got people that need it.”

Daryl chewed on his lip…he didn’t know what to do…was he really thinking about taking a man who had tried to kill him, a group who had shot at him, to Alexandria? But, had he been in their place, wouldn’t have he done the same? And if what the man was saying was true, they seemed to be in need of help. Shit…damn were his brain, but he couldn’t get himself to walk away. Why, why he had to be like that sometimes. Maybe Merle was right and he was a damn pussy.

“Get up.” The man looked at him with mistrust and Daryl lowered the gun, he was pretty sure the guy didn’t have any other weapon. “Get up.” This time the man listened to him and Daryl nodded at him to walk in front until they reached his bike. He chewed on his lip again as he considered everything once again, before speaking. “There’s a place…it’s safe. We take in people who need it, you just gotta do a stupid interview with the leader. Your people…you can come.”

“What?”

“What you heard,” he snapped.

“Look man…if you think I’m going to trust a man who I just shot and take my people and go to where he said…” He had a point, Daryl guessed, but he had no time for this, he needed to get back to Alexandria and damn, everything hurt.

“Ain’t lying, ain’t a trap.”

“We should keep moving north…” The man seemed torn, and Daryl didn’t blame him, but he had to get going.

“Whatever,” he grumbled. However, he found himself opening his bag and taking his map and a pen out of it, drawing an X on a point on the map. “Don’t go there, it’s full of walkers at this moment…and if you change your mind…”

He wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t going to mark Alexandria on the map, instead he took out of his bag that flare gun that Aaron made him carry with him and passed it to the confused man, and then he marked another spot on the map, far enough from Alexandria but close enough so that a lookout out could see the flare.

“If you change your mind, you go there and shoot the flare, I’ll go get you, just make sure there ain’t walkers around to see it and wait.” The man seemed beyond confused, frowning as he looked at the map and then at him, and he better not ask, because no, Daryl didn’t know why he was doing that either. “Now go.” The man seemed hesitant and Daryl roared. “Come on, go! Get back to your people! Get the fuck out of here!” The man nodded, turning to rush away.

Once Daryl was sure he was gone, he picked up his bike, groaning as it made everything hurt more, and ride out of the woods and towards Alexandria. Everything hurt, sting, and burned, but he didn’t care, he needed to get back, he needed to see that everyone was safe…images of those nightmares in which walkers devoured Y/N and Jane threatened to fill his mind, but he forced himself to push them away. He needed to focus.

He was riding so fast he barely noticed his name painted at the door of a warehouse, but he stopped when he did. He didn’t know what the shit that was, but his first instinct was to wonder if it was a trap…though who might know his last name, unless they had Sasha and Abraham…or it could, indeed, be Sasha and Abraham, taking refuge there. He got off the bike and took his crossbow, walking with it in front of him, ready to shoot.

“Sasha?” He whispered near the door. “Abraham?” He asked, a little bit louder, crossbow ready when the door opened just slightly. The first thing that came out of there was a gun, but before he could think of losing a bolt, Sasha’s face appeared too, and she smiled when she saw him.

“You’re okay! Come in.”

Daryl did so and saw Abraham sitting down on the ground, nodding to him before going back to cleaning his gun. “What are you doing in here?”

“Holing up for the night.”

“Nah,” Daryl shook his head. “Nah, we gotta go back to Alexandria, we gotta help them.”

“We don’t even know if something has happened there, and if it has, sure they have it sorted out already! We’ve been out for hours, let’s just wait a few hours more until the sunrise.” Sasha insisted and Daryl guessed that she was right…though maybe not in a good way, maybe they had taken too long and now they were too late to help…Daryl felt panic trying to grasp him, and he tried to keep it down.

“No.” He turned to leave but Sasha grabbed his arm, making him hiss in pain.

“Daryl. Look at you. You’re bleeding, we have to stop it.” She waved at the arm that the bullet had grazed and at the gash at his other arm and the bleeding elbow. “Driving at night is dangerous, you know it. We could go right to a group of walkers.”

“Listen to the ma’am,” Abraham chimed in, though he was being weirdly silent through this whole thing.

Daryl chewed on his lip hard enough to bleed. He knew Sasha was right, but it was hard, so hard, not to follow his instincts and ride back to Alexandria, darkness, walkers, and pain were damned. “Okay.”

Sasha nodded and pulled at him to sat down on the ground while she took out of the bags some rags, water, and disinfectat. She cleaned the wounds that were bleeding again, disinfected as many as she could, and pressed on his bullet wound, making him grunt.

“This needs stitches for sure…but I’ll try to get it to stop bleeding…” Once the bleeding had slowed down, Sasha bandaged it tight, giving the same treatment to the gash on his other arm and to his elbow. “Okay…I did all I could but you need to get checked by the doctor first thing in Alexandria.”

“Thanks,” Daryl muttered.

“Now you both sleep, I take first watch,” Sasha said with a tone that didn’t leave room for arguing, getting up and walking out of the room.

“She’s something else, isn’t she?” Abraham asked, still strange to see him so silent, and Daryl shrugged. He supposed she was, I mean, she had worked as a firewoman, she was resourceful as shit, but it wasn’t like it was something new, she’d been always like that, yet Abraham was looking at her as if seeing her for the first time.

Whatever was going on with those two, Daryl hadn’t the time nor the energy.

*

The sun was barely up when Daryl rushed everyone to move, he needed to get to Alexandria, it was past time. The truck had been abandoned after a bullet hit a wheel, but during her patrol, Sasha had been scouting around and had found a military van full of supplies and weapons, including a damn RPG. At least they had got lucky in something.

There was a better first aid kit in there that the one Sasha had, and so before they left, Sasha rebandaged his wounds again, no matter Daryl tried to stop her and get going already. She didn’t stitch him, though, saying that Alexandria was close enough and the doc’d stitch him better than her. Daryl didn’t care.

“Come on,” Sasha bumped his shoulder friendly, but it made him grunt anyway. “Alexandria is fine.”

Alexandria wasn’t fine, that much was clear as they arrived in there. There was a big hole in the fence, more of them were down, and they could see a big herd of walkers inside, people fighting them, people dead…

Shit. It had to be one of his nightmares. This couldn’t be real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there are no Saviours in this fic. And there’s no reader in this chapter. I’m not sure how dissappointed you all will be. Sorry.
> 
> If you enjoyed the chapter and have time, please leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	16. Chapter 16

For a moment Daryl was paralyzed, fear making him stop the bike, stop thinking, almost stop his heart. Abraham was stopping the truck again.

“What the hell?!”

“What do we do?!”

Daryl’s brain began to work again, and though what he wanted to do was to speed up and throw himself at the walkers, kill as many as possible, see if everyone was alright, find Y/N, he knew that it was suicide and it wouldn’t help nobody. They needed a plan.

“We have to distract them…sound, light, fire, something…” Sasha was looking around and something clicked in Daryl’s mind.

“Help me unload the fuel tank on there!” He pointed at the lake and Abraham was into the truck in a second, driving it to the point while Sasha and Daryl killed the walkers on their way. Once all the fuel was poured, Daryl took one of the RPG, climbed on top of the wall and shot, the lake lighting in flames.

It worked, the walkers turned their heads to the flames, making their way to it, the closer ones were already stepping into the flames, burning themselves. Others, though, were still too attracted by the people or were too far from the flames, and so they had to keep clearing them. Daryl jumped off the wall, sinking his knife into the heads of every walker he could reach as he pushed forwards, looking for Y/N, Carol, anyone he knew…

Among the dead, too many dead, there were also corpses of people he didn’t know, a w marked on their foreheads either by blood or scars, but Daryl didn’t have the time to think what the hell was going on. He saw Aaron’s not far and he made his way to him.

“Hey, you okay?!” Daryl asked, looking at Aaron’s blood-spattered face, and the other man nodded, but his eyes and mind seemed somewhere else. It worried Daryl, but he was too worried about everone else, about Y/N, to be able to take the time to check, they needed to keep going and clear the walkers before they killed more people. “Have you seen Y/N?!” Aaron shook his head and Daryl sank his knife into the head of a walker that was getting too close to him. “Focus man! Or…or go hide there…” Daryl pointed at a nearby house half barricaded, Aaron could fight, but not if his mind was somewhere else.

“No I…I have to help…”

“Okay…I have to go find Y/N, you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah…yeah, go.”

“Who’s this people?” Daryl pointed at one of the corpses with a w on his forehead.

“They attacked us…they…I…” Aaron shook his head, that lost look back to his eyes, worrying Daryl. “Just…go, come on, go.”

Daryl nodded and with a last worried glanced at Aaron, hoping the man’d take care of himself alone, he rushed away, killing every walker that he could find, more and more Alexandrians joining the fight and Daryl had to give them credit from fiercely defending the place like that when a few days ago most of them didn’t even know how to hold a knife. He stopped to help a couple who had been circled by walkers and then he kept pushing forward, desperately trying to find Y/N, Jane, his family…they had to be okay…

Finally, he spotted Y/N, and his heart almost jumped out of his mouth when she saw her struggling against a walker, trying to keep it away, but then she was holding it back in place and sinking his knife…her knife, into its head, the walker falling down to the ground next to another, and probably if Daryl hadn’t been so scared and worried, he’d have swelled with pride looking at her killing the monster, turning around knife in hand to face more that were coming, even if she seemed terrified.

He did feel proud, but there was no time for it, and he ran to her as fast as he could to help her. Y/N looked at him when he heard him, eyes wide in surprise, before she had to focus back on the walkers, but Daryl manage to kill them before they could reach her.

Once there were no walkers too close, Daryl turned to face Y/N and make sure she was okay, but before he could check on her, she was already throwing herself into his arms. Daryl held her tight, though not as tight as she held him, her face buried on his chest and her shaking arms grabbing the back of his shirt as she pressed herself to him and shook with tears and fear.

Daryl kept her close, a hand at the back of her head, fingers tangling into her hair, trying to reassure both of them that she was safe…she didn’t seem bitten, she was okay… He kissed the top of her head and nuzzled into her hair. “It’s okay…” He whispered. “I got you…”

He pulled away carefully, just enough to look at her, keeping an arm around her and lifting the other to cup her cheek, brushing a tear with his thumb as she kept crying. She had a cut going from her shoulder to her chest, clean, from a blade, not a scratch, and other than that he seemed unharmed.

“You okay?” He asked softly and Y/N nodded but didn’t stop shaking and Daryl resisted the urge to just hold her tight again, he needed to know the others were okay too. “Where’s Jane? It’s she okay too?” She had to be… Y/N chocked out a sob, crying harder, and Daryl felt the blood in his veins freeze. No…no, she had to be okay…

“I don’t know…” Y/N whimpered. “I don’t know where she is…” She sobbed again and Daryl tried to calm down, tried to think, he needed to be strong now, needed to help Y/N and Jane…

“It’s okay, it’s okay, we’ll find her, okay?” He ran his fingers through Y/N’s hair while she looked at him with wet eyes full of trust but also fear. He had to let go of her to put down a couple of walkers that had gotten too close and then Y/N grabbed his hand, rushing with him towards her house direction.

“I…maybe she’s still at home? I don’t know…” She sniffed. “I was at the pantry when those men came, one got me…” She looked at the long cut on her chest… “But Carol found me right on time, killed the man, told me to hide at home, and so I did, with Robert, Rachel, and the kids…” Another stop to put down walkers as they seemed endless, and then she kept talking. “When the thread stopped Richard and I went out to see if we could help with something…and then the wall fell down and all those walkers came in, so many, and I just…I tried to go back home but the walkers were too many and I don’t know where Jane and the others are…” She whimpered. “If…if the walkers got to them…”

“Hey,” Daryl stopped to make her look at him. “They’ll be at home, locked, they’ll be good.” He couldn’t know that, the herd was massive, but Y/N needed to believe it and honestly, so did him. “We’ll get there, we’ll help them.

Y/N nodded and then her eyes went wide. “Shit, Daryl…” She was eyeing his arm and Daryl realized the bullet wound of his arm had opened again, and so the gashes at his other arm, and he was bleeding through the gauzes. “Are you okay?!” She caressed the bandaged gingerly, looking at him worriedly.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” There was no time for that or for her to worry about him. “Come on, we’re close.” She nodded, wild eyes scanning around. There was a group of walkers making their way to them, but Rosita and Abraham showed up out of nowhere, throwing themselves at it. They seemed to have it handled and so Daryl grabbed Y/N’s hand again to run to her street.

They finally reached it, and Y/N let out a broken sob when she saw her house. The door was broken but someone had tried to make a barricade with some shelves, though the walkers’ relentless pushes had moved them enough to get an opening for some of them, though others were trapped in it. Y/N ran towards the house and Daryl rushed to reach the door before her, sinking his knife into the heads of the walkers.

She could hear Y/N breathing hard and sniffing, panicking, and then she was trying to squeeze herself through the barricade, but Daryl stopped her. “Hey, hey, look at me.” He cupped her face. “They made a barricade, not that many walkers could have gotten in, okay?” Y/N shook her head, tears falling down her cheeks, and it took Daryl all he had not to panic too, but he needed to be calm for her. “They might be locked in a room. They might have run away and hid somewhere else.”

Y/N placed a hand on top of one of his, caressing it, but then she was breaking free and going for the door again, but Daryl held her back so he could be the first to walk in, getting his crossbow ready and in front of him. He squeezed himself through the opening and Y/N did the same, and he felt her hand grasping his vest as they walked in.

There was no one inside, walker or human, not that he could see, not any sound either. “Jane!” Y/N yelled, and Daryl didn’t see the point on telling her to lower her voice so as not to attract walkers in such a moment, he just called for the little girl too, but there was no answer. He was almost sure there was nobody at home, and he didn’t know if that was good or no, but still he went upstairs to check the rooms, keeping Y/N close behind him.

They went downstairs again, to the back door. There had been a barricade there too but it had been removed by people, not walkers, so they had gotten out and Daryl could only hope they had found a safer place or someone of his family to help them. He grasped Y/N’s hand and walked out of the house without giving her time to panic or question anything.

They hadn’t been walked for long when he saw some walkers devouring someone, and when he realized it was Robert’s girlfriend, Rachel, he tried to push Y/N behind him to shield her from it, but it was late, she had already seen it, gasping and letting go of his hand to approach it, but Daryl made sure to be faster, putting down a couple of walkers. Y/N kicked at another with more force Daryl had thought she could have, and then she was sinking the knife into its head.

They finished putting down the walkers, but Daryl knew he had to make sure Rachel didn’t turn too, no matter she was half devoured. Y/N’s eyes were fixed on the body, shaking, and Daryl stepped in front of her, trying to hide the view. “Come on, don’t look.” He said softly, bending down to sink his knife into Rachel’s head.

He had just finished when Y/N let out a broken cry. Daryl looked up just in time to see Jane and Dawn far away, running away from walkers, but Dawn tripped and fell down. It seemed Y/N was frozen in place, and Daryl realized he wasn’t moving either, and so he shot a bolt to kill the closer walker and then ran towards the kids, no time to reload, Y/N behind him.

He saw how Jane stopped, looking at Dawn as another walker got closer to her, almost enough to grab the little kid’s ankle as she cried out in fear, but then Jane was grabbing a stone from the ground and throwing it at the walker, hitting its head, slowing it enough for her to do it again.

It slowed the walker enough, stopping it from bitting Jane long enough for Daryl to reach it and put it down, turning to get rid of the others that were approaching. Y/N seemed torn between running to the kids, on going to help him, but finally she joined him and together they made quick work of the walkers. Daryl felt uneasy about Y/N being so close to the geeks, fighting them, but she was managing just fine, making sure to stay behind him but helping him so not too many walkers went to him.

Once that was dealt with, she was running to the kids, who were holding hands as they looked at them. “Are you okay?” Y/N kept asking again and again in panic as she hugged both kids to her. Daryl joined them, looking around, scanning for more danger.

“We can’t stay in here…” There didn’t seem to be any walkers around, but he didn’t want to risk to be out in the open with Y/N and the kids. Y/N nodded, grabbing the kid’s hands and looking around too for a place to go. Before they began walking, though, Dawn looked at Daryl, her lip quivering as she reached out for him, and Daryl didn’t know how he felt seeing the shy, scared little girl, reaching out for him when she hadn’t seen him that much, when half the Alexandrians didn’t seem to trust him yet…

Daryl picked up Dawn and the little girl held tight to him. The poor kid had seen his dad’s girlfriend being devoured, probably trying to protect her and Jane, then she had been chased by walkers and one had almost gotten her, she must be traumatized.

Y/N’s hand that wasn’t holding Jane’s reached to grab Daryl’s vest, and all together they began walking, carefully checking for walkers. They didn’t find many, though, not groups at least, just a few strays that were swiftly put down by more people.

Then Daryl saw Michonne running towards him, he was relieved she was okay too, he needed to find the rest of his family, but he couldn’t leave Y/N and the kids alone. “Hey! You all okay?” Michonne asked, looking at their wounds.

“Yeah, we’re fine,” he rasped and Y/N nodded. “The others?”

“I’ve only seen Rick, he’s going to the infirmary, Carl…Carl was shot…”

“What?” Daryl couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and he panicked again. “How? Is he okay?!”

“I don’t know…” Michonne shook her head, seeming just as distressed. “I’m going to the infirmary, I think more people are meeting there.”

They went with her, and everyone else seemed to have the same idea or maybe they just followed each other, making their way to the infirmary, and Daryl was relieved to see walking with them most of the people he knew, safe, though he still couldn’t spot Carol.

“Sweetheart?” Y/N talked softly to Dawn. “Do you know where your dad and sister are?” The little girl shook her head, holding tighter to Daryl, and he could just hope her family was okay.

They weren’t at the infirmary, though, and he was reluctant to leave Y/N and Jane, and to put down Dawn, but he wanted to go check on Carl, he needed to know the kid would be okay. Y/N noticed his hesitation and she nodded to him. “Go, come on, go, make sure your family is okay.” Daryl lowered Dawn to the ground and then he went looking for Rick

He found him outside the room where the doctor was working, pacing around. “Hey, how is him?” He asked as he tried to peek into the room.

“I don’t know…” Rick ran a hand over his face. “Dennise…she’s still working on him…he lost an eye…” Rick shook his head and Daryl reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. “Jessie’s kid, he shot him…he’s dead…and his brother, and Jessie…and Deanna…and so many more…”

“Hey…” Daryl squeezed his shoulder again, he wasn’t very sure as to what to say, but he tried to be helpful. “Hey, it’ll be okay…Carl’s strong, he’ll get trough…” He really, really hoped so, he couldn’t phantom even to think otherwise. “And this…we’ll fix this…” He didn’t know how, though, not with so many dead…they couldn’t change that, but they’d have to get through it, as always. “Judith?”

“She’s good, she’s good,” Rick assured him, much to his relief, he didn’t think he could have taken it if something had happened to the little girl. “And you?” He waved at his bloodied bandages.

“I’m good.”

“Your girl?”

It didn’t even sound strange to Daryl’s ears, he didn’t even think about questioning it or correcting Rick, he just nodded. “Y/N and the kid are okay. Have you seen Carol?”

“No, sorry, but I’m sure she’s okay, she’s a fighter.” Daryl knew it too, but still, he wouldn’t stop worrying until he saw her. He nodded and patted Rick’s arm reassuringly before going back outside.

It seemed Robert and Lisa had arrived too, and it was a relief, considering all the Alexandrians that had died. They were sat down on the stairs of the porch of the infirmary, Dawn too, and Jane was standing next to them. When Y/N saw he was back, he reached out for him and Daryl held her hand, pulling her close.

“I just told Robert and Lisa about…” Y/N trailed off but Daryl understood. About Rachel. “How’s the kid, Carl?”

“They don’t know yet…” The words sent an uneasy feeling to his stomach even if he tried to be hopeful.

Y/N seemed worried too, squeezing his hand. “And you?” She looked at his bleeding arm.

“I’m fine.” Daryl appreciated it, sure he did, but both Rick and Y/N should stop worrying about him when there were far more urgent things. Jane turned her head and spotted him back, and after hugging Dawn, she made her way to his mother and him. “How are you, sunshine?” The little girl seemed even calm, no matter she’d been scared, she was holding it together so well, it made Daryl proud.

“I’m okay, I think…” The kid shrugged. “But you’re bleeding…”

“I’m good, darling, this ain’t nothing.” Jane gave him a weak smile at that. “You were really brave today, and you stopped that walker from bitting Dawn, you did really well. I’m proud of you.”

“Yeah?” Jane’s smiling went bigger, her eyes lighting up, and if Daryl had been embarrassed about saying that aloud, it was gone looking at her face, it almost made everything better.

“Hmm hmm,” he hummed and nodded. “I’m sure your mama is proud too.”

“Yeah?”

Y/N nodded, smiling weakly, though her eyes swelled with tears, Daryl knew how scared she had been. “Of course I am, sweetheart. You’re the bravest.” She wrapped her arm around the little girl to hold her to her, and then she pressed herself even closer to Daryl, leaning into him and resting her head on his shoulder, and so Daryl wrapped his arm around her.

“Proud of you too,” he whispered quietly to her before kissing her temple, keeping her and Jane close to him while he waited for more of his family to show up, for Rick to tell them that Carl would be okay, before they had to go and fix everything, burying so many of their people yet again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No kiss YET, but we’re getting there! 
> 
> If you enjoyed the chapter and have time, please leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	17. Chapter 17

“She’s okay too, thank goodness!” Y/N let out a relieved sigh when Carol made her way to the infirmary, and the knot of worry that had been tying Daryl’s stomach thinking about his friend finally released.

Both he and Y/N went to greet her, and Daryl hugged her before Carol could say any world. She didn’t struggle, hugging him back, but when Daryl looked at her face, he thought something was off. Everyone had gone through something today, but still…

“You’re okay!” Y/N said as she hugged her too.

“Yeah, I’m glad to see you too.”

“Because you saved me! And then Daryl, he saved me too, helped me find Jane…”

“Nah, ain’t true, I didn’t save her, she was putting down walkers herself.” Daryl couldn’t help his proud smirk as he looked at Y/N, and Carol’s lip curled into a half-smile that was gone as fast as it had come.

“She’s a good teacher,” Y/N smiled. “But I still have a lot to learn.” Daryl didn’t say anything, studying Carol, he still thought something was off, but he didn’t know what, and he frowned. Y/N seemed to notice. “I’m going to go back and check on Robert and the girls, they need it.”

Daryl nodded, squeezing her hand before letting her go, and then he looked at Carol, trying to read her. “Thank you for training Y/N, you saved her in more than one way.”

“It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t…are you okay?”

“Of course I am.”

“Carol…” He began, but Carol silenced him with a look. “Alright…”

“Come on, go with Y/N, she needs you.”

“Nah…nah, I ain’t gonna leave you when you ain’t-”

“Daryl, I told you I’m okay,” she snapped and he didn’t believe her, but he didn’t know what to do. “Go.”

“We’ll talk later…” With a last worried glanced at Carol, he went back to Y/N, by now he knew there was no point in talking to Carol when she was like that. He’d try again later.

“It’s everything okay?” Y/N asked him, caressing his arm softly, careful not to touch the gauze, when she noticed the way in which he was looking at Carol.

“I don’t know…” He didn’t want to worry Y/N more, though. “How are they doing?” He nodded towards Robert and the kids, and Y/N let out a sigh.

“Like you might expect.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I am too, but you know it’s not your fault, yeah?” Y/N said softly and Daryl guessed she was right, and yet, he still always felt like he could have done more.

“You know it ain’t yours either, right?” He asked, just in case.

“I…I left Rachel alone with the kids…she tried to protect them…”

“Hey,” Daryl cupped Y/N’s face so she’d look at him. “You didn’t know what was going to happen. Stop it. Don’t go thinking that.”

Y/N bit her lip and nodded, and Daryl wished he could make sure she wasn’t blaming herself at all. She nuzzled into his hand before taking it and kissing his knuckles, sending twirls to Daryl’s stomach, and then she wrapped his arm around her again, leaning into him.

Rick finally walked out of the infirmary and Daryl held his breath, waiting for the news. “He’s unconscious…it’s still too soon to tell, but it looks like he might pull through, but he has to wake up…” It wasn’t the best news, but it could have been way worse, and Daryl felt Y/N’s hand squeezing his.

Rick shared a couple of words with Michonne and he went back in while Michonne went to organize everything. Those who needed it were going to be checked by the doctor now, but the ones that were good enough could start to help around if they wanted, they needed to clear the bodies of the walkers and get the dead Alexandrians ready for the funeral, and also the breach in the wall needed to be repaired. So much to do, even though everyone was exhausted.

“You need to get that checked,” Daryl said, running his knuckles softly above Y/N’s cut.

“You’re telling me?” She snorted. “Look at you, you need stitches and I don’t know what else…”

While they were waiting for their turn, Robert approached them, face dark and eyes lost. “Y/N…I think…I think I’m gonna go home…”

“Okay,” Y/N reached out to squeeze Robert’s hand and Daryl didn’t know what he could even say to the man, so he just stood there awkwardly. “Jane, do you want to go with them, please? I want you girls to try and rest for a bit, I’ll be there in no time.”

“Okay, mom.” Jane nodes solemnly and she went to hold Dawn’s hand, all together walking away from the infirmary.

“She’s doing really good, all things considering, isn’t she?” Y/N murmured, and Daryl nodded. “I think she’s more scared than what she lets out, I’ll try and talk with her about all this…but Dawn…that kid has gone through so much…”

“She’ll pull through, we all do,” Daryl tried to assure her, and she gave him a weak smile and a nod.

Once they had their turn with the doctor, Y/N’s cut only needed to be cleaned and disinfected, while Daryl’s wounds needed more work, including fresh bandages and stitches on his bullet wound. He was sure such a fuss wasn’t needed, but he didn’t feel like saying anything and getting shit from Y/N and probably Carol, they wouldn’t leave him alone about it.

After that, there was nothing he wished to do more than to take Y/N’s home, make sure she and Jane were really okay, spend time with them…but he knew he needed to help around, morning had come and there was so much to do…

“I’m going to help around, but I’ll go check on you later, okay?” He forced himself to tell Y/N. The doctor had told him to rest, Michonne had told him he didn’t need to go helping, he needed to rest, but he was fine.

“I’m going to help too.”

“What? No, Y/N, come on…you’ve gone through a lot…”

“Daryl, I’m okay, I’m not really hurt, you are worse than me…”

“You have to be there for Jane…and Dawn, Robert, Lisa. They need you now.” Daryl knew that would change Y/N’s mind more than anything else. “Go take care of them, okay? And get some rest. I’ll go see you later.”

“Okay…” Y/N let out a sigh. “But don’t work too much, those wounds are serious, Daryl. You need to rest, come by lunchtime or I’ll go get you, alright?” She asked while reaching out to hold his hands, squeezing them gently.

“Alright.” Daryl nodded, leaning towards her.

Daryl caught himself right on time when he realized he was going to kiss her, as if it were the most natural thing, he hadn’t even realized it, it was just natural. He stopped himself, planting a kiss on her forehead instead of her lips. Y/N bit her lip as she looked at him, and then she gave him a soft smile, whispering she’d see him later and walking away.

Once he got working, he decided to let Alexandrians get the bodies of their loved ones ready, and instead he busied himself getting all the walkers bodies together outside the walls for burning, leaving the task of repairing the wall to other people, lead by Eugine and a man who had worked on the original construction of the wall. He knew it was just a temporary fix, they needed to rebuild a better wall, stronger.

His wounds, and honestly all his body, itched, burned and hurt, but he ignored it, just like he tried to ignore Michonne’s and Carol’s comments about him needing to rest whenever they tried to send him home. He reached a point, though, when he did actually listen to them, even before lunchtime. The wound on his arm was giving him hell, and the walkers had been burned. He could go and help with the wall later, but now he decided it was time to go and visit Y/N, maybe rest his arm for a bit.

Y/N’s house still had the door broken and the barricade of shelves against it. He needed to work on that later too, get the house ready for Y/N and Jane. He saw Lisa sat down on the stairs of the porch of her house, and the girl rubbed her eyes when she noticed him approaching.

“You okay, kid?”

“I’m not a kid and I’m not okay,” she snapped, and Daryl blinked at her, taken aback by her bluntness, but he still thought he liked that kid.

“But you’ll be,” was the only thing that came to his mind.

“Yeah, yeah I will.” Lisa nodded. “Y/N’s upstairs in Dawn’s bedroom with her and Jane, third room on the left,” she explained before looking at Daryl. “And our bathroom is in front of it, in case you want a shower, ‘cause look at you.”

Daryl did look at himself…yeah, okay, he was still covered in dirt, sweat, and some blood, but it wasn’t like there’d been time for showers or shit like that, there was stuff to do. Not knowing what else to say, he walked into the house and found Robert sat down on the couch.

“Hey, man…” He walked to him, awkward, he was getting into his house as if nothing after all. “It’s okay if I…” He waved towards the stairs and Robert nodded, eyes still lost. “You good?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“I let my wife die, Nora. We were in a gas station and she went to check if there was something we could take from it while I took watch and Y/N refueled the tank, then there was a scream, and we ran inside and one of those monsters had gotten Nora. I thought it was clear, but it wasn’t, and then Nora died, begging us not to let Dawn and Lisa see.”

Robert’s voice was strangely calm, though his eyes were wet, and Daryl’d be feeling beyond awkward if it weren’t for how uneasy his words made him feel, the ache in his heart…Robert might be a stranger but he was sorry for the man. He knew the feeling of letting a loved one die way too well too.

“And now Rachel. I went to see if I could help with something, left her with the girls…and then the walkers came in, and I found Lisa wasn’t at home anymore, and when I found her I hid, I didn’t try to go back home. I left Rachel and the kids there, and she tried to protect them, and she’s dead.”

Daryl didn’t know what to say, but he tried. “It ain’t like-” Robert didn’t let him finish, as if he hadn’t even heard him.

“It’s good that Y/N has you…that way she and Jane might have a chance to survive this world. If she were stuck just with me…she’d end up dying too.”

“Nah, man, come on, it ain’t-…”

“It’s true…and my girls…I’ll probably get them killed too…”

“Just…” Daryl let out a sigh, this really wasn’t his thing. “Best way of not getting killed is learning to fight those things, like Y/N’s doing. You can start training too.” All Alexandrians should, they must have seen it after such a couple of days. “Send your girls too, they gotta learn to protect themselves.”

It was hard to tell if Robert was even listening to him or not, vacant eyes looking far away, and he didn’t say anything else. Not knowing what else to do, Daryl decided to let it go and go upstairs to find Y/N.

The door of the room that Lisa’d indicated him was ajar, and he hesitated for a bit before walking in. Y/N was sat down on a bed where Jane and Dawn were asleep, and when she saw him he held a finger to her lips to ask him to stay silent and he stopped walking, afraid of making the floor creek or something. Y/N looked at the sleeping girls and then she carefully get up, walking out of the room with Daryl and closing the door behind her.

“Finally asleep…I thought I wasn’t going to get them to sleep, but they were so tired…”

“Are they okay?”

“Not really…but could be worse…” Y/N sighed. “I got Jane to eat a bit, but not Dawn…I’m not even sure how she managed to fall asleep…”

“She’ll get better…”

“I hope so…” Y/N gave him a weak smile and stepped closer to him to wrap her arms around him and rest her cheek against her chest, Daryl’s arms wrapping around her to hold her close. “Thank you, Daryl.”

“Ain’t nothing…” He murmured shyly.

Y/N stayed like that for a minute and then she pulled back to look at him but kept her arms around him. “How are you?”

“I’m okay.”

Y/N’s smile went a bit bigger as she caressed his face with her fingers and Daryl had to stop himself from purring when she ran them through his hair. “You need a shower,” she said and Daryl rolled his eyes. “Go have one while I make something to eat, I’ll see you at the porch, okay?”

“Okay…” Daryl grumbled, giving in, smirking at Y/N’s smile, and then she was kissing his cheek before she walked downstairs.

Daryl made his way to the shower, fighting the awkwardness, and stood under the spray of water before realizing that maybe he should keep the bandages dry. Whatever. It’d be okay, he’d survived with worse. Once he was clean of blood, he got dressed again and went looking for Y/N. On his way out he saw Robert still on the same spot on the sofa, still looking far away, a bowl of untouched soup sitting in front of him. Daryl didn’t know what else he could say to the man, and so he just walked outside.

Lisa wasn’t at the stairs anymore, and Daryl guessed she might have gone to her room. Y/N was sat down on the swing bed of the porch, holding two bowls with soup, and he passed one to Daryl when he sat down next to her. “I should rebandage that.” She nodded towards his wet bandages.

“Nah, it’s fine…” He didn’t like all the fuss around it, he’d gotten hurt, he was fixed, end of the story. Y/N didn’t say anything else, just sipped her soup, and so did Daryl. “You made this?”

Y/N snorted. “What, too good to be made by me?”

“I didn’t say that…”

“It’s canned anyway.”

“I thought so…” Once everything were fixed, he should go out to hunt something and make a real stew out of it.

“Don’t complain or I’ll take it away,” Y/N teased.

“Nah, I ain’t complaining. Thank you.”

No one of them said anything else until they finished the soup in just a few hungry sips, and then Y/N took the cups to bring them back to the kitchen. “I’ll help you.” Daryl made to get up but Y/N stopped him.

“No, it’s okay, I’ll be back in five minutes.” All things considered, it looked like Y/N was doing good enough, and Daryl was glad for it. She was alive, safe, didn’t seem traumatized…he couldn’t hope for anything else.

Once Y/N was back, she sat down next to him, letting out a tired sigh. She lifted her legs to rest them on the swing too and then she leaned towards him, snuggling closer when Daryl wrapped his arm around her out of instinct.

“The kids are still asleep, thank goodness. Lisa has eaten his soup. Robert hasn’t touched it…”

“He ain’t doing good…”

“No…can you blame him, though? He just lost another loved one and we just…we really thought we were safe here, you know?” Daryl nodded at that…they shouldn’t have trusted they’d always be safe there, but he wasn’t about to say that. “When Nora died, he was…he was way worse. But he pulled through, came back to himself, eventually…I hope it’ll be the same now…”

Worse than now? The man wasn’t moving, barely speaking…had he shut down then too? Even worse? Did Y/N had to take care of everyone, him, the girls, on their way to Alexandria at the beginning of it all? His girl was so damn strong and he was so proud of her…and why was he again calling her his girl…

“I meant it before, I’m proud of you,” he whispered, blushing at his own words and tightening his hold on her. Y/N pulled away just enough to look at him, her eyes were wet but she was smiling softly and so Daryl didn’t panic. She caressed his face softly with her finger and then cupped his face, leaning towards him.

For a second, Daryl thought she was going to kiss him, and he didn’t know if it scared him or if he wanted her to, but his eyes closed as she let her tilt his head, but then she was just holding her forehead against his as one of her hands ran to caress his hair, and okay, that felt good too, really good…

Eventually, she pulled away but kept running her fingers through his hair. “You never had your hair this long when we were young…I really like it, looks really good on you” she said softly and Daryl blushed at the compliment, couldn’t help himself. Y/N smiled again before lowering her hand to trail her fingers softly over one of his bandages. “Hurt?”

“Nah…” Daryl gently ran his fingers above Y/N’s cut, caressing her skin softly, and he didn’t know why his fingers were shaking. “Yours?”

Y/N shook her head, fingers still trailing over his skin softly, making it feel like it was on fire.“You all banged up and me all scared…this reminds me to that night at the outside of the club, with the creep…” Y/N murmured, sounding half amused half tired, and Daryl blushed harder. Yes, the night the creep had tried to hurt her, the night Daryl had gotten into a fight with him and Merle had to save his ass, the night Y/N had kissed him…

“You don’t need to be scared.” He needed to stop his mind from wandering and focus on the important things, which was made sure Y/N was okay. “You’re safe. There ain’t no walkers in anymore, the wall needs fixing but it’s fixed enough not to let walkers in.”

“And I’m here with you, so yeah, it’s safe…” Y/N said softly, sending those twirls again to Daryl’s stomach. “Damn, I’m so tired…damn shit of a day…” She sighed, wrapping her arms around him again to snuggle against his chest.

“You gotta rest.”

“You too.”

“I’m good.”

“You’d say that even if your arm were falling off.” Y/N snorted before she began to fidget with his shirt. “Daryl…how many people do you think had died this couple of days? Just…so many neighbors…I know I wasn’t friends with them all, I didn’t know all of them that much, but we were all from this community, we’ve been here together for so long, and-”

“No, come on, don’t think about that now.” Daryl tried to stop her, tried to make her stop talking so maybe she’d stop thinking about it.

“Just…I’m so glad you are okay, and Robert and the girls, Aaron, Eric…when so many others weren’t that lucky…I know I was…”

“Stop” Daryl kissed the top of her head. “Try to rest, okay?”

“Okay…” Y/N murmured and she nestled even further into him, trying to get more comfortable.

Daryl shifted on his seat to hold her better, hoping she’d maybe eventually fall asleep. He leaned against the armrest of the swing, keeping a foot planted on the ground so the damn thing wouldn’t move and throw them to the floor, but he lifted his other leg to rest on the swing and then he tugged at Y/N to pull her close again.

She smiled as she curled up on the swing to lie over him and snuggle against his chest, and it felt so good, to have her warm weight on top of him, curled up with him, that Daryl couldn’t stop himself from letting out a content sigh as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Sleep,” he whispered to her, he could see how worn out she was.

“Don’t think I can, and there’s shit to do, I’m just gonna rest for a bit, nothing else…you’re really cozy though…still are…” She murmured and Daryl began running his fingers through her hair, trying to control his emotions and not ruin the moment. “Okay, might fall asleep if you keep that up.”

Daryl didn’t say anything else, he just kept playing with her hair, feeling like he was finally relaxing, he hadn’t felt like that since they found out about the herd trapped at the quarry…hell, actually he didn’t know when was the last time he had felt like that. He decided to just enjoy it, feeling Y/N’s body getting more and more relaxed too, until finally she was falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, they’re not officially together now, but they’ll be soon, and you’re all going to get bored of the amount of domestic Daryl.


	18. Chapter 18

Everything was moving and Daryl didn’t know what the hell was going on, but he felt he was falling down, his foot planting onto the ground out of instinct…oh, yeah…the damn swing bed…he had fallen asleep on the damn thing and lost the balance.

He realized all that as he woke up, damn, he hadn’t even meant to fall asleep, he didn’t remember falling asleep…unfortunately, he didn’t wake up on time to stop Y/N from rolling off him as the swing shifted backward and she fell onto her ass.

“Shit, sorry!” Daryl sat up, waking up completely and reaching out for Y/N. She was blinking, looking confused, but then she chuckled.

“This is you trying to get rid of me or just your way of quietly slipping away? Cos either way, it didn’t work?” She chuckled again, shaking her head and taking his hands, but she didn’t get up.

“Nah, it’s me falling asleep like an idiot.” He scoffed.

“Me too…there’s stuff we should be doing, not sleeping…”

“You needed to rest.”

“I guess you did too…” She smiled at him softly and Daryl found he couldn’t fight it. “I gotta say, that was a really good nap…” She finally got up, looking down at him, still smiling in that way. She let go of his hands, running his fingers through his hair and making him close his eyes and hum, before cupping his face. “How are you?”

Daryl didn’t know how could she ask him that, he should be the one asking, she had lost a lot of her neighbors, had to deal with a group of murderers getting in, then the biggest herd of walkers, had to look for her kid not knowing is she was safe… “I’m good, and you?”

“I’m better, I think.” She gave him that smile again. “Are you hurting?”

“I’ve had worse.” Daryl shrugged, he was just fine, she didn’t need to worry.

“I know…” She whispered, one of her thumbs stroking over his cheekbone. Her smile was gone now as she looked at him, and then she was leaning in, slowly, and Daryl’s pulse sped up. Was she going to kiss him now, for real? Maybe…maybe not? His heart was hammering like it was going to jump out of his chest, but damn, he wanted to kiss her…He reached out a tentative hand, placing it on her waist softly…

“Finally awake!”

Y/N pulled away from him at Lisa’s voice, the girl walking out of the house and looking at them, and Daryl took his hand away from Y/N’s waist, though one of hers was resting on his shoulder, so maybe she didn’t mind?

“Dawn woke up with a nightmare but I managed to calm her down, Jane’s reading aloud now,” Lisa explained. “Dad…he hasn’t moved from that same spot, wouldn’t listen to me…” She sighed.

“Shit…I’m sorry, darling I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Y/N pulled away from him completely, running a hand through her messy hair. “I’m going to check on the kids, thank you for helping, and I’ll try talking with your father…” She looked overwhelmed again, not like she looked when she had woken up, and Daryl reached out to squeeze her hand and brush his thumb over her knuckles. She gave him a smile before turning his attention back to Lisa. “You need something, sweetheart?”

“No, I’m going to the infirmary to see how’s Carl.” The mention of the boy filled Daryl with worry again, closing his stomach…the kid was supposed to pull through, and yet…

“I’m going too,” he said, getting up.

“I’ll join you both once I’ve made sure the girls are okay and then I’ll go see if I can help with the wall or something.” Y/N said.

“You don’t need too, you gotta make sure the kids are okay…” Daryl reached out for her hand again, couldn’t help himself.

“And I have to make sure this place is okay too.” She gave him a soft smile. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay.” Daryl looked her, chewing on his lip. Damn, he wanted to kiss her so bad, had he felt like that ever before? He thought he vaguely remembered feeling like that seventeen years ago…

“Are you coming or do I go getting myself?” Lisa called for him from the stairs.

“I’m going,” he grumbled and Y/N chuckled softly, giving his hand a squeeze before telling him to go and leaving towards the house.

He hadn’t been walking with Lisa in awkward silence for long when the girl looked at him, frowning. “So are you Y/N’s boyfriend? It’s like that then?”

“What?” Daryl almost chocked, stopping to look at the girl, blushing up to his ears.

“You were sleeping together.” Lisa shrugged, walking without waiting for him. “And you were going to kiss her…sorry for having interrupted.” Daryl just mumbled nonsense, flustered. Was he, was he going to kiss her? He had wanted to…and he had thought she was going to kiss him…though maybe she wasn’t going to…but Lisa seemed to believe they were going to kiss, so… “Were you his boyfriend already, you know, before?”

Daryl didn’t know how to answer that, technically the answer was no, but what had them been? Friends, but not only that…he didn’t want to answer either way, too flustered, and so he just began to walk faster.

“Okay, don’t answer me…”

*

Carl was okay, all things considered, and Daryl felt a weight lifting off his shoulders. The kid had woken up and he’d pull through, but he still had to spend a couple of days on the infirmary. After that, Daryl went to help with the wall. The hole was fixed so walkers couldn’t get in, but in the few hours that Daryl had been with Y/N, the rebuilding of that part of the wall and also de improvement of the whole thing had begun, and so Daryl spent the next few hours working on it. At some point, Y/N approached, bringing him a bottle of water and a cereal bar.

“Thanks.”

“I’ve been at the pantry and I got boxes of food ready, things easy to make, I think people might need it, half the houses are a mess…” Including her own, Daryl needed to go help her with that. “I’ve just finished delivering it.”

“I’ll help you fix everything in your house later.”

“Thanks.” Y/N gave him a soft smile. “I think I’m going to spend some days at Robert’s, though, to keep an eye on him and the girls, you know…”

“How are they?”

“The girls are good enough…Dawn seems still quite traumatized, but she’ll get better. Robert, though…”

“He’ll get better too,” Daryl tried to assure her, even though he didn’t know if it was true.

“Yeah…” She gave him another of those smiles. “I was wondering…maybe…would you like to have dinner with us today?”

“Yeah…” Why was he filling so shy and why those twirls danced in his stomach again…he couldn’t help it and it only got worse when Y/N smiled bigger.

“Okay…tell me how I can help with this wall thing and I will.”

*

It was almost dinner time when they stopped working, and after telling Carol he was going to have dinner with Y/N and he’d go home later, Daryl headed to Y/N’s house. They took the shelves back to their places, unblocking the entrance, and managed to close the door, though it still needed to be repaired. He’d do it tomorrow. After that, they headed to Robert’s house, the sky dark already.

“Mom!” Jane waved at them, she and Dawn were sitting on the porch.

“What are you doing there, you’re going to get cold,” Y/N said as she reached to hug both kids.

“It’s not cold…Hi Daryl.” The girl waved at him. “Are you staying for dinner?” He hummed a yes and Jane smiled.

“I’ll let you know when dinner’s ready…I’m just gonna throw a can of premade soup again so it should be quick.”

“I’ll go hunting soon.” That way Alexandria could have real stew, if he was lucky enough to find a deer it’d feed them for weeks. “How are we on supplies?”

“Good enough, Maggie came to the pantry to ask too, we’re not running out soon but we have to be careful.”

“We’ll plan a run once the wall is finished.”

Y/N nodded. “Maggie also talked about getting some orchards and gardens ready, we’re going to start working on that tomorrow too.”

“Good.” They couldn’t rely on runs forever, they needed to be able to grow their own stuff.

“Also, Rosita has been telling people she’s going to start teaching how to use the knife and how to fight to everyone who wants it.”

That was good too. “You’re joining her?”

“Sure I am! Anyway, I’m going to get that dinner ready.”

Daryl was about to go follow Y/N when he felt Dawn’s hand tugging at his vest. “Aren’t you scared of going out? There’s monsters and murderers.”

“I ain’t…I mean…it’s dangerous, you gotta be careful.” Daryl didn’t want the kids thinking that the outside world wasn’t as dangerous as it was, though Dawn seemed scared enough. “But we gotta go out to get things we need, like food. And I know how to take care of myself and how to fight those things, the people who go out know how to do that.” Or at least they should, even if in Alexandria that had been questionable.

“I want to learn.” Jane chimed in.

“Yeah, yeah, you should…” Daryl ran a hand through his hair…Y/N had agreed with him, to some extent, he needed to talk with her about that again. “I’ll talk to your mom. You should too.” He told to Dawn, but the kid seemed unsure, worried and scared.

“We’ll do it together, it’ll be fine,” Jane assured, and the little girl finally nodded.

He needed to talk about that with Robert too, then, and also he should convince Lisa to train too…he hoped Rosita would convince every person in Alexandria to go train with her, grown-up or kid, because they really needed it. He hoped nothing like the events of the days before would happen again, he’d try to make sure it didn’t, but living in this world, they need to be ready anyway. There were a million things that could go wrong in a second.

*

Once everything was ready for the dinner, everyone sat down on the kitchen table…everyone but Robert, whom Y/N didn’t manage to convince to go downstairs, and so she just left a bowl at the outside of his room. Everyone was silent, and Daryl wasn’t talkative himself, not at all, but the fact that not even Jane was chatting as much as she usually did worried him, thinking about how what had happened to them might have affected them.

“You know…” He began after a spoon of soup. “Canned thing ain’t nothing against the real stuff.”

“Don’t dare to complain again.” Y/N threatened him with the spoon and he smirked.

“My brother Merle, he could know if stew was canned or no by smell only, almost.” He didn’t know why was he telling them that or why it had even come to his mind. “There was this time, I think I was around Lisa’s age, Merle, he was…” He stopped himself from saying he was wasted, and high too. “Wasn’t feeling good.” Y/N snorted as if she knew what that really meant. “And he told me to go to the woods, hunt something to make stew, and not to come back empty-handed.”

Daryl stopped to take another sip of the soup before it went cold. “So the thing was, I had dropped my crossbow that day ‘cause I had been a clumsy idiot, gave it a good knock, it wasn’t working properly and I hadn’t had time to fix it yet. I hadn’t told Merle ‘cause I didn’t want him yelling at me about it. So I took the damn thing, went to the woods, and tried fixing it until I got it working again, but then the sun was down already, I couldn’t see or hunt a damn thing. And so I bought some canned stew and sneaked back home without Merle noticing me, heated the stew, threw the cans away. I got a bowl of stew and gave it to Merle.”

He took the last sip of his soup and kept talking. “And he takes a sniff of it and asks me what shit that was and I tried to play it cool, told him it was rabbit stew. But he takes a sip, spits it right away, yelling at me that I was lying to his face, giving him canned shit, threw the stew at me.” He gestured with his own bowl as he spoke. “Damn thing was hot. Told me to go to the woods and not come back empty-handed. So I spent the night in the woods, until I caught a rabbit in the morning, came back home, made the damn stew…and then my brother was passed out, didn’t wake up for hours, and then he didn’t even remember about the damn thing. So I ate it all. Was a good stew.”

“Your brother was a real dick,” Lisa chimed in.

“Totally! What an ass!” Jane huffed and Dawn nodded.

“Language…but yeah, you all are right, he was.” Y/N agreed. “I knew him.”

“He was so bad to you!” Jane seemed so upset at it, it was almost endearing.

“That too.” Y/N nodded.

“Nah, come on…I mean…he could be a prick, yeah…but he was…he was not feeling good, that day.”

“Yeah ‘cause being hig-…being indispose is an excuse to treat your little brother like that.” Y/N huffed. “No matter what, Daryl’s always gonna justify his brother for all the shit he does…”

“Not always…” He muttered.

“Lisa is mean sometimes but she wouldn’t throw stew at me or send me to the woods,” Dawn said quietly.

“Geez, thanks.” Lisa rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, if your brother were here we wouldn’t let him talk to you like that,” Jane said, and Daryl couldn’t help his smile.

“Not sure he’d be afraid of any of you…”

“Once you teach us how to fight and all, he would!”

Y/N arched an eyebrow at him at that…yeah, he really needed to talk to her about the training thing…

*

Later, the girls went upstairs and Daryl went to help Y/N with the dishes, but Jane was asking him to go upstairs with them too, and he was wondering what the girl wanted, so when Y/N told him that it was okay, he followed the kids to Dawn’s room. Turned out, Jane wanted to read him aloud too the book that she and Dawn were reading now, and so the kids got into the bed and Daryl sat down on a chair to listen to Jane, memories of Y/N reading to him at the woods coming to his mind.

Y/N walked into the room right when Jane finished the chapter. “Ready to go to sleep?”

“Okay…” Jane grumbled, reaching to leave the book on the bedside table.

“Dawn, do you want me to leave the small lamp on?” Y/N asked and Dawn nodded, snuggling to the blankets. “Okay…goodnight, sweethearts.”

“Good night. To you too Daryl.”

“Night…” He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips as she followed Y/N outside the room.

“Thank you for staying for dinner, Daryl,” Y/N told him quietly after closing the door, smiling softly to him.

“It was nothing…thank you for having me.” He shrugged shyly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Actually…maybe…would you like to sit down with me outside for a bit?”

“Yeah…yeah, sure…as long as we don’t fall sleep on that swing again and fall down.”

“Hey, it was me who fell down, I have a bruise on my buttcheek,” Y/N said, making him snort.

Once outside, they did sit down on the swing, letting it rock softly back and fort. “Daryl…” Y/N began. “I’m sorry I talked about Merle like that before.”

“Nah it’s okay…he was an ass sometimes…” And after all this time, it still hurt too…but not as much as it hurt having lost him, ass or not.

“He was…didn’t deserve you, if you ask me…but he was important to you too…so I’m sorry.” Y/N reached out to take his hand, lacing their fingers, and Daryl didn’t know what to say so he just smiled at her. Y/N leaned against his arm and let out a tired sigh.

“There’s something wrong?”

“Nah…”

“Are you sure?”

“Just…I’m kind of worried…”

“About?”

“Everything…” She let out another sigh and Daryl wrapped his arm around her out of instinct.

“Hey, come on, don’t…it’s going to be alright…”

The wall would be improved soom, Maggie’d make sure they had the gardens they needed, he would go hunting as soon as possible, Glenn was probably already planning a good run, Rick was keeping everything in order…yeah, everything was going to be alright, Y/N was going to be alright, he’d make sure. The kids were okay, better than what could have been expect, Dawn was getting better too…and Robert…well, he wasn’t that sure, but he hoped the man would sort himself too. Y/N snuggled to him and Daryl pressed a kiss to her forehead, couldn’t help it, it felt just natural, and the way in which it made Y/N smiled before snuggling to his chest made his heart swell.

“Daryl…” She called for him quietly.

“Yeah?”

“I gotta tell you something…” She pulled away to look at him, chewing on her lower lip, seeming nervous, and Daryl worried thinking that maybe something else was wrong. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, but…didn’t know about telling you, or how to…but just…I can’t stop it and…damn, I’m not sure if I can handle it if I don’t tell you…so…”

“What?” Why was she so babbly, it was just making him nervous too.

“I like you, Daryl…but you already know that. What I mean is that…well…I’m pretty sure I still love you. So…I think you needed to know. I won’t…nothing has to change. Just…it’s okay if you don’t, but I had to tell you, ‘cause…well…’cause…”

Daryl stopped her babbles by pressing his lips to hers. She loved him. She had said that and it sounded true, it sounded genuine… Had someone told him that before? She loved him…the twirls in his belly were dancing even faster than ever, his heart beating so hard, he felt dizzy…

Y/N let out a surprised noise when he kissed her, pulling away, and for a second Daryl was afraid he was mistaken, but she had said it… “What are you doing?” Her cheeks were flushed, and she was looking at him in a way, it made his insecurities go away.

“Kissing you,” he whispered as his lips brushed hers softly. “’Cause I want to. ‘Cause I like you.” He said the same words that Y/N had told him all those years ago, when she had kissed him and he had asked why, the words coming back to his mind now, and Y/N’s chuckle as she smiled against his lips let him know that she remembered too. “Cause I love you too.” He whispered before kissing her again, making up for all the times he had wanted to but hadn’t been able, for all their missing chances, for all the missing years…

He loved her, he knew he did, he loved her in more ways than one. It was scary, yeah, it was, but it made him feel like floating too. He loved her, scared or not, and she loved him, she did, whether Daryl understood why or not, and they were alive and together again, and then maybe Carol and Rick, and he’d gotten a second chance that he better not miss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!! Now, there’s another 10 chapters of domestic Daryl.
> 
> If you liked it and have a moment, please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	19. Chapter 19

The warmth of a body next to him was pretty confusing as Daryl woke up, but then his brain began to catch up and he opened his eyes to find Y/N still asleep and curled up next to him, her back against his chest. Daryl tightened the arm he had around her, nuzzling into her hair as he smiled.

He had only gotten to wake up next to her once before, and it had been tainted with the pain of knowing she would be leaving him that day. Now he could fully enjoy the sensation, that feeling of warmth and comfort, a strange giddiness even, and those butterflies in his stomach…it made him feel a bit silly, almost embarrassed of his emotions, but he just loved the sensation and Y/N herself too much to care.

After a long while last night sitting down in the swing in which they hadn’t done much but curl up together, Y/N had asked him to stay for the night and Daryl had found himself agreeing without even thinking it.

Now he did think it, even if he tried not to, he really didn’t want to overthink this…So they were together now, not just as friends, they really were…and for one, he didn’t panic. It just felt…natural, in a way. As if it should be. He didn’t feel as if he needed to run away. He just felt content there, with her in his arms, a feeling he wasn’t used too, but damn, didn’t it feel good.

Y/N had said that she loved him…no, not only that, she had said that she _still_ loved him, so that meant she had loved him before too. He had known that she had cared for him before, sometimes he had let himself think that maybe she loved him too…and now she had said she did, and she still did…

Those butterflies were twirling in his belly again, that feeling of warmth and giddiness even if he felt a bit silly too.

Daryl pulled Y/N even closer to his chest, nuzzling into her again. She woke up this time, her brow furrowing in confusion before she smiled. She reached to take his hand and bring it up to her lips to kiss his knuckles, and Daryl was once away overwhelmed by all those warm feelings.

“Morning,” she whispered before turning in his arms.

“Morning,” He rasped back. Y/N smile went bigger and she reached out to stroke his cheek, looking at him in a way that Daryl wasn’t sure he could read but almost seemed awe. “What?” Y/N didn’t answer, just shook her head and then she was kissing his lips. When she pulled back, she smiled again and stroke his hair before pushing him to lie down on his back, and she snuggled to him to half lie over his chest.

“I don’t want to get up,” she whined, fidgeting with his shirt, and honestly, Daryl didn’t want it either.

“There’s shit to do…” He forced himself to say, but his arms were already wrapping around her, securing her to him, and he began playing with her hair.

“I don’t think I’ve ever slept this good in…I don’t know…” Y/N said quietly.

“Me neither.” He kissed the top of her head. He had been able to fall asleep easily and not bad dreams had come to haunt him. “But I hadn’t slept in a bed since we lost the prison so it might be that…” He joked.

Y/N sat up slightly, looking at him as she snorted and she reached out to tap his noise lightly. Daryl caught her hand, tugging to make her fall down on top of him again. “I’m pretty sure you have beds at home,” she said, looking up from his chest.

“Yeah well…didn’t feel like sleeping on them…” He’d been sleeping on the sofa near the window since arriving.

“Why?” Daryl just shrugged at her question, he didn’t know how to explain it. “Well…I hope it’s not the last time I sleep and wake up like this…” She chewed on her lower lip, looking at him.

“Yeah?” He wanted it too, more than he could have imagined.

“Yeah…I mean…I know it’s still early and we just…well, it’s not that we just got to know each other ‘cause…we have known each other for a while now…what I mean is…I want to be with you…I mean, I don’t mean only friends or cuddling together, though that’s pretty great too, I love it, but, I mean, together-”

“I thought we were?” Daryl cut her rambles because she wasn’t making sense. “Together, I mean.”

“You want it too?” How could she be asking him that, it was beyond Daryl comprehension. He had told her that he loved her, he had kissed her, he’d stayed the night with her, sleeping nect to her, curled up together.

He just blinked at her, taken aback that she was asking him that. “Sorry, just…it feels too good to be true, you know…” She whispered and yes, he did know, that feeling of not allowing himself to get too comfortable when things were good, because probably something was going to go wrong, but he didn’t want to think about that now. “That you really want to be with me like this too…”

Now that didn’t make damn sense… she thought that him wanting to be with her was too good to be true? Seriously, how could she think such bullshit, why wouldn’t he want to be with her? It didn’t make sense. Daryl didn’t know what to say and he reached out to stroke the hair away from her face. “You’re silly.” Y/N must have known that he didn’t mean anything bad with that, because despite his words she was grinning.

“But you love me, right?” He shifted from his chest so she could look down at him, fingers stroking his face.

“Told you I do…” He whispered shyly, and he couldn’t help his smile when Y/N’s grin went wider, before she kissed his lips.

“To think all the times I’ve could have been doing this if I hadn’t gone to the city…” Y/N whispered when their lip parted. “All this lost time…”

“Come on, we talked about it.” Daryl reached out to stroke her hair. “You left for the best.” 

Part of him wished she’d have stayed, though, that they could have been together since then. But he wasn’t sure what kind of life she’d have had at the town, but not an easy one for sure…he didn’t know either if it’d have worked between then while both of them tried to survive that damn town, with his brother around…and what would have she done, keep working on the damn club, keep being miserable there? Daryl hated thinking about it, because he never knew what to think. Hard or not, she’d gotten herself a better life at the city than she could have at the town, he knew, even if it hurt that she left.

“Anyway…I’m going to make up for the lost time, I know there’s stuff to do, but…this is too comfy…” She snuggled with him again and Daryl could not fight that…yes, there was shit to do, they needed to get up and help around, but couldn’t they get even just ten minutes more just for themselves?

“Mom?” Came Jane’s voice from another room. No, it seemed they couldn’t.

“I have to…sorry…”

“Nah, it’s okay, go.” Y/N nodded, giving him a smile and a quick kiss before getting up and going with Jane.

Daryl got up to, making his way to the kitchen to make them breakfast, even if he felt awkward that this was not only not his house but not even Y/N’s. It seemed everyone in Alexandria had oatmeal in their cupboards, and so he started to cook it for breakfast. He hadn’t finished when Y/N and the girls made their way into the kitchen.

“Daryl!” Jane greeted him with a grin. “Good morning!”

“Morning,” He looked over his shoulder and regretted it when Lisa arched her eyebrows at him, looking from him to Y/N and then back at him.

“Thanks for making us breakfast.” Y/N said as she set some bowls on the table. Daryl took the finished oatmeal off the stove and poured it into their bowls. He really should get going, talk to Rick, see what he needed him to do for the day, he hadn’t even told them he wasn’t going to spend the night at home…but ten minutes more couldn’t hurt.

“So are you staying at my place too then?” Lisa asked and why that kid always managed to get him flustered in stupid ways…

“I..it was late last night so…decided to just stay and…could make sure you were okay…” He rambled, he didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know if Y/N wanted to tell them he’d slept in her room with her, and he just couldn’t help how shy he was about it…and why wasn’t Y/N helping him with it…

“But are we still in danger?” Dawn asked and Daryl regretted his choice of words.

“No, sweetheart, nothing else is coming in here if we don’t want it.” He couldn’t promise it, but that was what they were improving the walls for, and he’d make sure of it. “Just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.”

“Okay…” Dawn seemed content enough, focusing on her breakfast again, and Daryl really didn’t know what he’d done to have her trust like that.

“I should get going…” He shoved the rest of his oatmeal into his mouth before Lisa could ask anything else. “There’s work to do.”

“Yeah.” Y/N nodded. “I told Maggie I’d tell her if anything of what we have in the pantry has seeds or can be planted to grow more…I doubt it, most of it is canned, but well…And then I’ll help her to start with the gardens she wants.

“Can we help with the garden too?” Jane asked.

“If you finish the homework first, then sure.”

“But we don’t have classes yet!”

“But you do have homework.”

“Okay…” Jane grumbled.

Daryl kind of thought that learning to plant a garden was more important in than world that whatever homework the kids might have, but he wasn’t about to argue about it. “I gotta get going.”

“I’ll walk you to the door,” Y/N said.

Once they were outside, Daryl turned to say goodbye to Y/N and she grabbed his vest and pulled him close, kissing his lips. He made a surprised noise before kissing her back, reaching to cup her face and tangle his fingers into her hair.

“I’ll go see you once I’m done with that garden,” she said when their lips parted.

“Okay…” He looked nervously over her shoulder to see if Jane or any other of the girls were there.

“What?”

“Nothing…just…Jane…” He didn’t know how to explain it, he wasn’t very sure of how he felt himself.

“You don’t want her to know?”

“It’s not that, just…” It made him shy, but mostly he didn’t want her to find out like that.

“I’ll talk to her…but she adores you, Daryl, I don’t think she’s going to be upset or anything of those things that are going through your head.” Y/N assured him, and nothing was going through his head, not like that, he knew Jane seemed to appreciated him somehow, he was lucky like that. But he couldn’t help but feel a bit shy about the whole thing.

“Alright…yeah…”

“And everyone else? You don’t want then to know?”

“Nah…nah I don’t care…” He knew Carol was going to tease him about the whole thing, Rick too, but he didn’t want to hide that Y/N and him were together, no matter it made him shy…being together felt too good.

“Okay,” Y/N smiled, pulling at him too kiss him again. “I’ll see you later?”

“Sure.”

*

Daryl hadn’t been working on the wall for long when Carol approached him, waving a bottle of water. “Got time for a break?” Daryl nodded, taking the bottle and following Carol until she sat down on the grass under a tree. “So…you didn’t come home last night?” He could see the glimmer in Carol’s eyes and he knew she wasn’t asking out of concern, and he couldn’t help but blush…it was ridiculous…

“I went to have dinner with Y/N and the kid, ended up staying for the night there too.” He said as if nothing, even if he was getting flustered again.

“I see.” Carol arched an eyebrow at him, smirking, and Daryl rolled his eyes. “Are you still saying you’re just friends?” Come on, he had to get over the shyness, he had to get this done with…

“We’re together.”

“Aaaw, sweet,” Carol cooed and Daryl scoffed, looking away with his cheeks burning. “Finally saying it aloud and all.” Saying aloud what, they hadn’t been together before, yeah, he might have, a few times, let himself think about it, but… “Come on!” Carol nudged him playfully. “It’s good, she’s a nice woman. You deserve it.” Daryl looked at her at that, trying to figure out if he was messing with him again, but she seems genuine. “It’ll be good.”

“Yeah…” He nodded, and he couldn’t help his small, shy smile. “It’ll be.”

*

Daryl had finished with the part of the wall that had been assigned to him, and Y/N had still not shown up, not even for lunch. He had to remind himself that nothing bad could have happened to her in there, not with people taking watch on the lookouts and with the walls intact. Then he had to try to remind himself that it was stupid to think she might have changed her mind and not want to see him…why would she? It was ridiculous, she had just kissed him that morning…

Daryl walked to the place where he knew Maggie wanted to start digging gardens. They had been working on it, that for sure, a few digs were already made, a couple of cuttings had even been planted already, but there was no one there anymore. Daryl didn’t know what to think or what to do, Y/N had told him she’d go see him once she was done gardening…maybe it had gotten late? But the sun was still up…she wouldn’t have changed his mind, would she?

He found himself making his way back home, lost in thought. She found Maggy sitting outside, fumbling with some pots and plants. “Hey, have you seen Y/N?”

Maggie looked up from the pots, giving him a smile. “Yeah, she was gardening with me before, why?”

“Just…we were supposed to meet after it…” He muttered, kicking the dirt with the tip of his boot, feeling shy of wording it like that to Maggie.

“Oh…well, when we finished Rosita had started a group training and she joined them,” Maggie explain.

“Oh…okay…” It made sense… yet, the training seemed to have finished and Y/N hadn’t come, and he really needed to stop overthinking shit…

“She’s really nice…” Maggie said as if nothing, back to fumbling with the plants.

“I know…” Daryl frowned, wondering what that was about, but Maggie just smirked. He didn’t know what to say, he wanted to see Y/N, but going looking for her felt…he didn’t know how he felt…but he didn’t want to annoy her…maybe she was tired? Maybe she had indeed changed her mind.

“Stop worrying and look ahead.”

Daryl blinked in surprise at Maggie’s words, but as he looked ahead the street he saw Y/N walking towards the place, and he was embarrassed at the way his belly did something funny at seeing she was walking to his place, actually looking for him, judging by her smile when she spotted him, walking faster, so he walked towards her too.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.”

“No it’s okay…” I wasn’t like they had decided to meet at a particular hour, and it wasn’t her fault that his brain tended to overthink everything.

“You weren’t at the wall already so I figured out you might be here.” Y/N had reached out to take his hand and play with his fingers, and Daryl was aware that Maggie was there behind them, and part of him felt shy and awkward about her seeing them holding hands…but who cared. “I went training after gardening, and then I was looking like a pig…so I decided to go get a shower before.”

“Hey, Y/N!” Maggie waved at her before Daryl could say anything. “Do you want to stay with us for dinner?”

“Sounds good, but the kids are at home, I have to go back to them.”

“Okay, but you should bring Jane and have dinner with all of us one day.”

“Sure thing!”

“Come on, I’ll walk you home.” Daryl liked Maggie, of course he did, she was his family…but this was awkward and he really wanted to be alone with Y/N. She nodded, and as they walked Daryl noticed she was pulling at his hand to take a detour to her house…maybe she wanted them to be alone for a little bit longer too? It made him feel all kind of weird in all kinds of good ways.

“How was training?”

“It was good. Rosita is a badass…and she kicked my ass…” She chuckled. “But it’s good. Learned a couple more things.” Daryl looked at her proudly, he knew she’d be good at it.

“Have you thought about the kids training?”

“Yeah…I know they need to learn. I was talking with Rosita about it, she says she’ll try and get some training ready for them too…not knives involved yet, our kids aren’t like Carl.” She chuckled.

“They gotta be…”

“I know, but let’s wait until they ready.”

Daryl nodded, he knew she was right, they couldn’t just give knives or any other weapon to a bunch of kids who had never wielded anything, but they needed to be ready, just in case and…Y/N stopped walking, tugging him closer and then cupping his face to kiss his lips, and Daryl lost his train of thoughts.

*

“You are spending a lot of time with Y/N lately,” Rick a couple of days later, out of the blue while he and Daryl checked a map where Glenn had marked potential places for a run.

“So?” He grumbled.

“So…when are you going to bring your girlfriend and actually introduce her to everyone, and have a nice dinner all together?” Daryl had to remind himself that he loved Rick, because with the way in which he was smiling, Daryl pretty much felt like punching him.

He knew he was messing with him on purpose, trying to making awkward and flustered to get a laugh out of him, and damn it if he was going to let him manage it once again. Everyone knew Y/N, that introducing her to everyone thing was bullshit. Everyone knew they were together, at least everyone in his family…and probably almost the whole Alexandria, shit, didn’t like people to talk, it was the same everywhere…Not that he cared, but it was his life, why would anyone else care about it.

And girlfriend…yeah, he guessed Y/N was his girlfriend… but that word still sounded so awkward and weird to him, he never called her that, though she didn’t seem to care. They were together, and he was damn serious about it, they loved each other, it didn’t matter the name that you gave to it. Y/N seemed to think like that too.

“I don’t want her talking to you and realizing the asshole you are, she thinks you a great deal as the leader, wouldn’t want her changing her mind,” Daryl snapped, but it only made Rick laugh.

“I mean it though, bring her some day. Just want her to know she’s part of the family too.”

Okay, maybe he didn’t want to punch Rick that bad.

*

Daryl had just finished working on the wall. It seemed the improvements were finally done , and there wasn’t much to do anymore. He was honestly more tired than what he’d admitted, but he went looking for Y/N anyway. He hadn’t seen her today yet.

The training had finished, or so it seemed. Daryl spotted Y/N, talking with Rosita, and she waved at him when she saw him. She said goodbye to Rosita and walked to him.

“How was training?”

“Good, it was good, I’ll show you what I learnt tomorrow, I’m dead on my feet today.” Daryl followed Y/N as she walked, though she didn’t seem to be going home, instead leading them to one of the green areas, slightly apart.

“Do you know who came to train today?” Y/N asked and Daryl shook his head no. “Robert.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep.” Y/N smiled. “That’s good, right?”

Daryl nodded. Lately, Robert had been doing better, or so it seemed. He didn’t lock himself in a room anymore. Was starting to talk to people again, leave the house. If he had gone training, that was a big improvement. He knew Y/N worried.

“So I think maybe in a few days, next week maybe…I could go back to my own place. I mean, my house is right next to Robert’s so it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Don’t know how Jane and Dawn are going to take the idea of stopping being roommates, though.” She chuckled.

“They can always keep making sleepovers.” Even before, it seemed like day in day out they were doing one, whether it was in Y/N’s place or Robert’s.

“Yeah…anyway…I was thinking…when I move back to my place…well, I was thinking…that maybe…” Y/N looked at him and then down, and Daryl wondered what was going on to have her so nervous, he didn’t know if he should worry or not. “Maybe you’d like to move in with me?” It took him by surprise and he could just blink at her. “Or…not, I mean, you don’t have to, at all. It’s okay, I mean…don’t feel like you have to…it’s just an idea…”

It felt strange, thinking about not living with his family, under the same roof, after all this time…but he’ll be like just a couple of streets away…and it wasn’t like he spent that much time at home anyway…and more often than not he spent the night with Y/N anyway…and Glenn and Maggie were talking about getting their own place too…but it was a strange feeling, living not in the same place than them…but…what did he want to do, if he really thought about it…

“Okay.”

“Yeah? You sure?” Y/N looked at him questioningly. “You don’t have to say it just ‘cause you think I might be upset, it was just an idea.”

“Ain’t that. I want it.” He wanted to stop blushing too, but it seemed he couldn’t.

“Okay…okay good…” Y/N was blushed too, chewing on her lip at the same time that she smiled, which always made her look so adorable, Daryl loved it. It seemed like she didn’t know what else to say, and neither did he. He felt nervous, but not in a bad way, not really.

It did felt strange, a few days later, when they actually moved to Y/N’s place. He even felt a bit out of place. But then he was having dinner with Y/N and Jane, sitting down on the sofa with them while Jane talked about her day, about this and that, as Y/N had said, she had taken pretty well that her mum and him were together, and that feeling of being out of place went quickly away. This was his place.

And that night, when he got to get to sleep with Y/N curled to him, he knew he had made the right choice. It wasn’t a big deal, not as it had seemed at first in his overthinking brain, his family was just a couple of streets ahead, and they had encouraged him to move with Y/N. And after all, Y/N and Jane were family too.

So yes, it wasn’t usual he felt like this, but for once, it felt as if everything were as it should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you, 10 chapters of domestic Daryl.
> 
> If you liked it and have a moment, please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	20. Chapter 20

Taking watch must be one of the most boring things Daryl was ever told to do. There was nothing else for him to do though, he had gone hunting the day before, coming back with a few squirrels and a few rabbits that were now stew for the next couple of weeks, so he didn’t really need to go out again. Still, he wanted to go further one day, far from Alexandria’s smells and noises, and get a deer that would feed them for longer.

But it wasn’t too urgent, and so when Rick had asked him if he could take watch in the north of the wall, he had thought he should agree instead of going looking for something else to do, no matter it was boring.

That, and the fact that Y/N were with Sasha on the east lookout and if he leaned over the railing and looked through the scope, he could see her. He hoped she wouldn’t mind…he didn’t want to watch her, he was just…curious, he couldn’t help it.

When Y/N had been delivering the stew rations to the people’s houses, she had stopped on his family’s. Rick was there, and somehow he and Y/N had ended up talking about her work at the pantry, and Rick seemed to have noticed that Y/N wasn’t that happy working just there. He’d offered her a job taking watch, it was safer than going out on runs when she hadn’t been training for that long, and also he’d said Sasha might train her with the sniper rifle from there.

Daryl leaned over and squinted, looking at the other lookout. He could see Sasha and Y/N talking, holding the rifles and aiming beyond the walls. Before, he’d seen them studying the rifles or something like that, he wasn’t sure from that distance. Next time that he looked at them, it was because he heard a gunshot. He looked through his own scoop and saw a walker dead on the ground. He dropped the rifle and squinted again to look at them. Sasha seemed to be celebrating, so Y/N had shot the walker. Damn yes. She was always making him proud. She was good with the knife and now she was going to get good with the rifle too.

“Are you really spying on your girlfriend?” Came Lisa’s voice from downstairs. “With a sniper rifle and all, like it’s not creepy at all?”

“Shut up, I ain’t spying on no one.” He grumbled back, flustered.

“Whatever you say…”

Daryl just scoffed again and he didn’t bother saying anything else.

By the time his shift ended and someone else came to take watch, Y/N was still with Sasha up there, and so he decided to go back home.

Home…He had been living with Y/N and Jane for a few days now, and it still sounded strange. Not in a bad way, no, not at all, just strange. He didn’t think he had ever had something like that. Never thought he’d get to have it. But there he was.

Dawn and Jane were sat down at Robert’s porch, reading or doing homework, or Daryl wasn’t sure what. They waved at him before focusing back on whatever they were doing, and Daryl walked into Y/N’s place…which he guessed was kind of his place now…but he always called it Y/N’s anyway.

There was a book on the coffee table, the same one she’d read a thousand times before already. He needed to ask Glenn if he thought there’d be a place where he could go on a run and find books, by now he was sure Y/N had read every book in Alexandria. That one was one of hers, though, one she liked, Aaron had gotten it for her a long while ago. Daryl picked it up carefully and began to read it while he waited for Y/N to come back.

He hadn’t been reading for long when finally the front door opened and closed, and Y/N walked into the living room. “Hi there.”

“Hey.” He smiled at her, leaving the book on the table again. “How was training?”

“You tell me,” Y/N smirked and Daryl found himself blushing. “I know you were looking.”

“I…uh…it ain’t…” He babbled, but Y/N just chuckled and sat down on the sofa next to him, wrapping an arm around him to snuggle to him…so maybe she wasn’t mad.

“It was good…it wasn’t as difficult as I thought. I mean, it’s difficult, but I managed to land some shots. I like it. Sasha’s a good teacher. But damn, my arms hurt now…and my shoulder and my neck.” She complained with another chuckle, pulling back to roll her shoulders.

“Come here.” Daryl tugged at her until her back was to him so he could place his hands on her shoulders to try and ease the knots away.

“That feels good…” Y/N murmured as she tilted her head forwards and pushed her hair to one side so he could move up her neck. “Didn’t know you gave massages and that you were good at it. How’s that you never gave me any all those years ago? Or did you learn after I left?”

“I didn’t learn…I ain’t good.” He just went by instinct.

“Well, I beg to differ,” Y/N almost purred and Daryl couldn’t help how good about himself it made him feel.

After a while of easing the strained muscles as best as he could, he began just caressing her skin, not that she seemed to mind, she was still smiling with her eyes closed, humming contently from time to time. He leaned closer to kiss her neck softly, and she chuckled softly, tilting her neck to give him more room.

“If this’s what I’m gonna get every time I go training with Sasha, I’m going to go up there every day.” She murmured, chuckling quietly and he didn’t say anything, just trailed kisses over her neck until she pulled away.

She didn’t go far, though, just turned around so she could face him. She smiled, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair, shifting to straddle him, and then she was kissing him. When their lips parted, she arched her neck, the hand that she had at the back of his head pushing him closer to her neck in case he didn’t catch the drift, and he chuckled against his skin before kissing it.

“That is, time’s up,” he teased, pulling back. “You just put down a couple of walkers meters away from you with a sniper rifle, it ain’t such a big deal.”

“Oh, isn’t it now? Okay, next time you’re shooting your crossbow and you need to reload but walkers keep coming, you’re gonna be begging me to shoot with my new discovered great aim, and I’m not going to do it.” She grinned.

“Bullshit, you wouldn’t let me get eaten.”

“Sadly, I’m too attached to you, it’s been a problem…for the last seventeen years…” She sighed dramatically before chuckling and bumping his nose, and then leaning to nuzzle it with hers and Daryl took advantage to peck her lips.

“It was a big deal, though, you did great today with the riffle,” Daryl said as he caressed her hair, he wanted her to know he was proud.

“It’s really not that hard, the scoop does most of the job…”

“Nah, nah, you still need skill.” He shut her before she could put herself down. “But if you want to try a riffle that ain’t a sniper one, a gun or something, we can. We can go out one day, take a silencer, practice.”

“Yeah?” Y/N asked and Daryl hummed a yes, nodding. The more weapons she knew how to use, the safer she would be, he wanted her learning everything she could, and he knew she wanted it too. “Can I try the crossbow too?”

Daryl nodded, it’d be more useful than a firearm if you asked him, silent, and you could make your ammo. He’d teach her to do that too.

“I’ve been wanting to try that thing since…forever.” She giggled. Daryl scoffed, but he couldn’t help his smile at her. “And when I’ll find that my aim with the crossbow is great, I’m getting more massages?”

“I don’t know…” He teased but he was already leaning to kiss her neck again.

He trailed soft kisses over her neck, getting more daring with every little, beautiful sound that she let out. He gently sucked on a spot behind her ear and was rewarded with a quiet moan that made him smile against her skin as he kept kissing and biting her flesh ever so softly, he couldn’t help how he loved to make her feel like that. Her hips began to rock gently against his, making his pulse speed up. The hands that he had on her waist moved to run under her shirt, stroking the warm skin of her hips and belly, which made her writhe harder on his lap.

She placed her hands on top of his under her shirt, moving them up until he reached her breasts. Daryl was hesitant, fingers trembling as he swallowed hard, but she made him press his hands against them before encouraging him to slid his hands under her sports bra.

Once he got the cue, Y/N took her hands away, placing one on his shoulder, while she ran a finger across her own next with the other, signaling him to keep going. He smiled and went for her neck again, harder this time, placing open-mouthed kisses over her neck, he couldn’t stop himself, but she didn’t seem to mind, if he could take her moan as a cue, while his hands moved over her breasts, fingers trembling ever so slightly.

Then, though, she was pulling away, and Daryl looked at her confused. She was breathing hard, looking at him in a way that made his heart beat faster. “I’m not doing this on a sofa,” she murmured. “Bed, now.” Before she could get up, though, Daryl did, making sure to wrap his arms under her thighs to hoist her up with him, and Y/N laughed as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

“Okay, I like this.” She grinned. “It’s kind of hot.” Daryl scoffed, blushing as he tried not to let shyness take over him, and he began walking them both to the stairs. “I can walk up myself.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” He began walking up the stairs without putting her down.

“This is fun but if you drop me I kick your ass.”

“Ain’t dropping you, woman, stop complaining.” He stopped to gently bit at her neck, making her laugh.

Daryl kept walking up the stairs and to her room…his room now, too, even if it still sounded strange in his head, and he carefully let her fall onto the bed. She grinned at him, sitting up and pulling her shirt over her head, followed by her bra, and Daryl swallowed hard as he looked at her. She gave him a shy smile, biting her lips before she popped open the button of her pants, sliding them down her legs along with her underwear and throwing it to the floor near her shirt.

“Are you going to come here or are you just going to keep staring?” She teased nervously, her skin blushed pink. “Because I might hide under the coverts…”

Daryl kicked himself into movement, joining her in the bed, somehow hesitant of placing his hands on her bare skin as he kissed her. She leaned back on the bed, her head landing on the pillow, and she pulled him with her, kissing him again, and he couldn’t help himself from groaning softly into her mouth when her hands ran under his shirt, caressing his stomach and up to his chest before she began trying to pull it off him.

He complied, taking his shirt off, and Y/N sat up slightly to kiss his chest, up to his neck, and Daryl bit his lip as another quiet moan escaped him. She leaned back onto the bed again, her hands caressing his skin again, this time stopping at the buckle of his belt. “Can I?” She whispered and Daryl nodded, swallowing hard. She unbuckled his belt and after another nod from him she opened his pants, and Daryl helped her take them off him.

He crawled on top of her again before he could be overwhelmed by the need of hiding under the covers, as Y/N had said, and he kissed her deeply, letting one of his hands slide down to caress her bare thigh, and he gasped when she wrapped that leg around his hips, pulling him down even closer to her.

“Okay?” She whispered and Daryl couldn’t find his voice but he nodded.

Without stopping looking at him, she placed her hand on top of his on her thigh and then she guided it between her legs until his fingers founder her center and she let out a shuddered moan at the contact. Daryl’s breath picked up, his heart beating even faster as he let her guide his movements, letting out all those little sounds that drove him crazy.

Soon she was letting go of his hand, allowing him to keep going on his own, and Daryl was sure he could never be tired of seeing her writhing and squirming under him, rocking her hips as she panted, quiet moans leaving her lips from time to time. He leaned down to kiss her, he couldn’t get enough of her.

Her eyes were shut closed, her mouth open as she panted, but then her hand reached down to stop his movements and Daryl frowned at her, worrying he’d done something wrong. “Did I-” She didn’t let him finish, tugging at him to fall down on top of her and kissing him hard.

“I want you,” she whined against his lips before kissing him again, still panting, and her words alone made him groan, nodding wordlessly again. She didn’t miss a second, reaching down between them to guide him to her, making him groan again at the contact, and when he finally buried himself in her, he had to kiss her to stifle the moan that left his lips.

She was panting and whimpering against his lips too, her hands clutching at his shoulders as he began to rock gently against her, ever so careful with her, until she arched against him, her leg around him pulling him even closer, and the moan that left her lips when he picked up the pace sent shivers through him. She felt so damn good, had something ever felt that good…

Daryl was glad she was already close because, with the way she was making him feel and all those sweet sounds she was letting out, he knew he wouldn’t last long. She was breathing harder, harder, arching to him and then she cried out, her nails scratching his shoulders, digging into his skin, and when he kissed her neck again she let out another of those moans that he loved, shivering under him as her thighs squeezed his hips, coming undone.

It didn’t take him long to follow her, his mind vaguely registering that in fact, this is how people got pregnant and that’s the last thing you needed in that world, and he barely remembered to pull out of her before he finished, groaning and falling on top of her. She was panting just like him, her arms holding him to her as one of her hands caressed his hair, and then she began placing little kisses on the top of his head, his temple, his cheek…

Daryl couldn’t stop his smile, nuzzling into her neck. If he’d ever felt this good he didn’t remember. He snuggled to her, eyes closed, enjoying the way in which her fingers caressed his skin and the buzz running down his body, before his brain was actually capable of forming thoughts again.

“You could get pregnant,” he blurted out…great, wonderful, just great, he had to open his mouth and that had to be the first words that come out of it. Great.

Y/N snorted. “You trying to tell me something?”

Daryl blushed up to his hears again. “I…I…”

“No, no, I know, you’re right,” Y/N stopped his babble. “I’m sorry, I get a bit carried away I guess…” She chuckled shyly. “But you’re right, we’ll be careful, okay?” He nodded and she smiled, kissing his lips.

He snuggled to her again but she tried to pull away way too soon. “Where’re you going?”

“To get cleaned,” she said, trying to move from under him but he didn’t let her, he was too comfortable like that. “Shower.” He just snuggled more into her and she let out a giggle, holding him tight and kissing his head, but then she was trying to move away again, and again he didn’t let her. “Daryl, come on,” she half whined half laughed.

She tickled his side, making him yelp and roll away from her. “You’re mean,” he grumbled and she laughed, grinning and pecking his lips before sitting up and getting up from the bed. He got up from the bed too, heading to the window to check that Jane and Dawn were still on Robert’s garden, though he couldn’t really see into his porch from there.

“Afraid the kids are gonna walk on us?” Y/N teased and he just shrugged, but yeah, he’d die of embarrassment probably. “They’re probably at Robert’s, it’s okay.” She walked behind him and wrapped her arms around him, kissing his shoulder. “Plus, the bedroom is locked, if Jane walks on us I’d have to crawl in a hole and never get out.” She chuckled and Daryl nodded at that. “Now, come to the shower. I’m not asking.”

Daryl snorted but he didn’t fight her, letting her take his hand and walk them both to the bathroom. She turned on the water, stepping into the shower once it was warm and he followed her, watching as the spray of water fell over her, thinking once again how beautiful she was, until Y/N pulled him closer to her to stand under the water too.

Y/N stopped the water and took the bottle of shampoo, dropping some onto her palms and rubbing them together to create suds. She ran her hands through his hair, rubbing gently but firmly, and Daryl heard himself purring but he couldn’t feel embarrassed, her fingers playing with his hair felt too good. Once she seemed to deem his hair clean enough, she poured more shampoo onto her palms and began washing her own hair.

“You don’t trust me to do it?” He joked.

“Didn’t know you’d want to.” Sure, he had never washed anyone’s hair before, but he might as well try now, and so he began to run his hands through her hair and rub carefully at her scalp like she’d done to him, smiling when she hummed.

“I’d stay like this for hours if it weren’t because we’d freeze…” Y/N murmured before pulling away from him to take a bar of soap and run it across his body, lathering his skin, and Daryl’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel damn good too. When it was his turn to wash her body, though, he was almost shy about it, for some reason, his eyes following the soap as he moved it over her skin, getting more confident when she closed her eyes and smiled.

Once they were lathered, Y/N turned on the water again, raising the shampoo and soap off them. She got out of the shower and tossed him a big towel while she wrapped herself in her bathrobe. He followed her back to the room, watching how she took out some clean clothes for him from her closet. He didn’t know where she had gotten them from, he’d moved to her place with just his usual bag and what he was wearing, but she had made sure she had clothes for him. He was grateful she had thought about him but it felt a bit strange too, after so long having only what he had inside his bag…Alexandria and everything in it still felt a bit strange, but not bad, not anymore.

“It’s getting late,” Y/N said as she got dressed. “I’m going to pick up Jane, can you get started with dinner?”

“Sure thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot, what’s plot anymore.   
> If you liked it and have a moment, please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	21. Chapter 21

Y/N’s arms wrapped tight around him, pressing herself to his back as he rode through the woods and he loved riding with all his heart, bur riding with Y/N behind him? That was something else, even if he had forgotten it until now.

Eventually, he stopped the bike, turning to look at Y/N. “So? As good as you remembered it?”

“Better!” Y/N grinned at him.

“Yeah?” He couldn’t help his own grin. “Why?”

“Cause now I can do this.” She leaned over, capturing his lips with hers, making butterflies go out of control in his stomach. Then, she got off the bike and looked around. “Do you think there’re walkers near?”

“Don’t think so…” They’d be coming already, following the sound of the bike. “But we gotta keep an eye out.”

Y/N nodded, walking towards a log she’d spotted on the ground, sitting on it and reaching out for him to sit with her. It took him a second to do so, though, as a memory of seventeen years ago came to him, of Y/N and him sat down on a log at the outside of their town, talking… When he joined Y/N, her sad smile told him she was thinking the same.

“I missed this…being with you in the woods, alone, it was my favorite place. I missed it so much, thought about it everyday…” She said quietly, taking his hand and playing with his fingers. “Used to cry myself to sleep missing you…” It hurt him, hearing her speak like that, even if he had missed her like hell too, even if part of him was relieved she hadn’t just forgotten him as if he were nothing. He lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles, blushing as he did so, and was rewarded by Y/N’s smile.

“And it’s so crazy, that I found you again after all this time…in the damn apocalypse no less…” She kept talking and Daryl nodded, it was crazy, sometimes he woke up fearing it had only been a dream, especially if he didn’t wake up next to her. “Like…one might even talk about destiny or something…I know you think it’s silly but…”

Daryl didn’t know if he thought it was silly, he just knew that he was glad they had met again, damn, glad didn’t convey how he felt at all, but he didn’t know what to say, how to put it into words, and so he just leaned to kiss her again, not that she seemed to mind.

“Jane keeps saying that she wants to come out with us too.” Y/N said. “But it’s not like we’re keeping her locked at home or nothing, she has all Alexandria to walk around, fresh air, trees…” Daryl didn’t know what to say, Y/N was right, but he also understood Jane’s curiosity. And anyway, he always felt like going out of the walls, to the woods… “You think it’d be safe?”

“We could stay close to Alexandria, we see walkers we get back in, but there ain’t that many around.” They cleared them almost daily so they wouldn’t attract more. “Could be good for her, maybe, I don’t know…”

“Okay.” Y/N nodded, and sometimes it took Daryl aback that she trusted his word so much just like that. “We’ll see about it.”

Jane had begun training with Rosita, and so had Dawn, Lisa, and some other kids. Basic stuff, some movements, survival tips too, since Rosita seemed to know about everything. Not knives yet until Rosita was sure they could train without hurting themselves or the other kids. He had trained Jane with the knife a couple of times, though, just a small penknife but which could be enough in certain situations. Y/N had agreed, trusting him again.

“There’s useful shit to learn out here that she can’t learn inside.”

“Yeah, and I should pick up a thing or two myself too.” Y/N agreed. “But for now…” She smirked, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I don’t feel like sharing.” She kissed his lips, keeping her arms around him when she pulled away. “I feel like spending some time alone here with you, out here in the woods again …”

Daryl wasn’t going to complain because being alone with her, that had been one of his favorites things ever before, and he didn’t think it would change now. Memories of them together in the woods kept coming to his mind.

“You really ain’t singing anymore?” It came out of his lips without him meaning to say it aloud, but in most of his memories of her, she was singing, while now, even though they lived together, he just heard her humming, or singing quietly to herself if he was lucky.

“Told you I don’t sing that much anymore…” She shrugged.

“Why?”

“Just…” She let out a sigh. “I don’t know. My life changed. I started singing less and less. Then I was always so busy. And then at some point I just stopped. I mean I sing sometimes, you know it, just…just not like before.”

“You were always singing before…”

“You want me to sing for you or what?” She teased, though her eyes looked a bit sad. Daryl blushed, and he didn’t say anything, but he’d really liked to watch her sing back then, she always seemed so happy, and her voice was beautiful. “Okay, I will,” Y/N said as if she could read his mind. “What do you want me to sing?”

“I don’t know…” Daryl shrugged shyly.

“Okay…” Y/N frowned as she thought, and then she grinned. “Do you remember the first song you heard me sing?” He remembered her singing it, more than the song itself. He remembered the irony that it had seemed back then. He didn’t say anything, and Y/N began singing.

“Oh baby for all it’s worth, I’ll be the first to blow your mind. Now if you’re ready come and get me, I’ll give you that hot, sweet, sexy loving.” Her voice was as Daryl remembered it, transporting him back again, her face lighting up as she sang, even if it were just a couple of sentences. She should do it more often… Y/N looked at him and smiled. “Do you remember?”

“Yeah, yeah I do.” He nodded.

“I wonder what you thought of me when you saw me in that club.” She chuckled.

“That you were beautiful…that you had a nice voice…” Daryl admitted, blushing, and Y/N scoffed, blushing too as she bit her lip and smiled. “That you wanted to get Merle’s money.”

“That’s true.” She snorted.

“That you would play me to get that…” He admitted too, hoping she wouldn’t be upset.

“Yeah, well…I mean…wasn’t my intention…but I guessed that being nice to you would get me more tips from your brother…” She reached out to caress his cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah…work’s work.” A lot had happened since then, anyway. He took her hand and kissed it.

“And I told you, even at that moment, I thought you were interesting…you caught my eye…” Y/N said and that was his moment to scoff. Yes, she had told him that, and he found it hard to believe. “Couldn’t believe it when I found you again in the woods and I could be myself and try to really talk to you…even if you made it hard!” She chuckled. “You see… we met again in the woods, and then we met again here in Alexandria? I told you. Destiny.”

She was grinning at him, so beautiful and yeah, why the hell no, maybe they belonged together after all, even if he had never thought he would believe in that destiny shit, even if he wasn’t sure he believed it, it felt like they belonged together. “Might be.” He nodded, smirking.

“Even the song!” She smiled, biting her lip. “You were the first to blow my mind.” Daryl arched an eyebrow at her…he knew he’d been the first she’d slept with, like she’d been his too, but sure she would have liked other guys before. “It’s true. I don’t think I ever felt for anyone as I felt for you. Not after, not before,” She admited quietly, looking down as she blushed.

Daryl was so baffled he couldn’t say anything. He’d always recognized the irony of the song but he’d always thought it was the other way around. She had been the first to blow his mind, for sure, and he had never felt for anyone the same that he’d felt for her. The same that he felt now. It was really the same for her, even if it was hard to believe? Daryl didn’t know how it made him feel, but the butterflies were going crazy in his stomach, and he couldn’t help his smile. Hell, maybe she was indeed right and they were really meant to be, like in some destiny thing that he’d never believed in.

“You were for me too…the first…” First and last, he was more than sure, but it was hard enough to say that aloud, fighting against his shyness. “So yeah…destiny or whatever…” It felt better than to think that it was just a bunch of coincidences, whether it was true or not.

Y/N didn’t say anything else, just smiled, leaning closer to cup his face and kiss his lips.

*

All Daryl’s senses were on alter as they walked through the woods. He usually wasn’t so tense out there, he was used to it, but whenever Y/N and Jane were out with him, he made sure to pay attention to everything around, his crossbow always ready, no matter he usually took them to places where he knew there didn’t use to be walkers, and they weren’t far from Alexandria, they could still see the walls…you could never be sure, they roamed everywhere…and walkers weren’t the only danger out there anyway.

This time Dawn had come with them too, for the second time, she hadn’t wanted to join them the other couple of times they had taken Jane out. For some reason, Robert still seemed to think that his kids were safe with Daryl, and he didn’t understand that trust, but he was going to do right by it.

“This is a trail, right?” Dawn asked as she studied the ground, the soil soft enough there to make it easier to find tracks.

“Yes, well done.” Daryl nodded and Dawn smiled at him. It always made him happy when he managed to make the shy kid smile.

They kept following the trail slightly deeper into the woods, making it harder to see the trail. “I lost it,” Dawn grumbled, disappointed.

“It’s okay, it can’t be far from here now, just stay silent…” Daryl tried to encourage her as he made them hide and stay silent, and he looked around for any sign of the critter. Eventually, a possum walked out of some bushes, looking around as if it was suspicious and Daryl aimed the crossbow at it before it could realize they were there. Before he could shot, though, Jane and Dawn yelled at the same time, scaring it and making it run away and hide. What the hell. It wasn’t the first time he hunted something while they were out.

“No!”

“You can’t kill him!”

“Why?” He frowned at the kids.

“That’s the possum that comes to eat our rubbish outside Alexandria!”

“What?”

“He’s been coming since forever! You can’t kill him!”

Daryl blinked at the kids, frowning even more. “How the hell do you know it’s the same possum? They all look the same.”

“We know!” Jane rolled her eyes. “It’s him!”

Daryl looked at Y/N, looking for support, but she seemed to be stifling a laugh. “Okay…it ran away anyway…” He scoffed. “Lost food.”

“It’s not food!” Jane glared at him. “It’s a neighbor…”

“You wouldn’t kill and eat a neighbor,” Dawn added.

“Yeah, whatever,” he grumbled. “Let’s head back.”

While they were walking back, Jane stopped next to a bush of berries. “So…these are the ones you can eat…” she took a couple out of her pocket. “And these are the ones that if you eat, you’re going to spend two days in the bathroom…” She pointed at the bush. “It’s not that easy if you don’t have the right ones with you to check…”

Daryl wasn’t an expert in berries, plants, and all that stuff, but he was also trying to teach them what he knew. Denise, the doctor, had also given him some instruction about medicinal stuff that he could find out there and that he could bring her back, since he went out to the woods so often. She had even made some drawings and lend him a book, though now it was Y/N who had it, so Daryl was doing his best. Maggie thought she’d be able to take seeds and grow the herbs with the ones he had managed to bring back, so that was a good thing, and also with some of the berries. The gardens seemed to be doing good, luckily, even if they didn’t have that many crops yet.

“Then don’t eat any, just in case,” Y/N said.

“But what if I’m out and I don’t have anything to eat, and I’m starving to death and all I see is berries?”

“Then you’d have eaten your neighbor the possum.” Daryl retorted.

“Rude…”

Daryl was resigned to go back to Alexandria empty-handed, he could already see the doors, when he spotted a squirrel on a tree. After considering it for a few seconds, he passed the crossbow to Y/N. If she failed, well, they didn’t need the meat that bad, and she’d train her aim.

“What?” She looked at him confused and Daryl pointed at the squirrel. “No way, that’s too small for me.”

“Come on, try that great aim you’re all the time talking about…” He teased and Y/N grumbled something but aimed…she was doing it right, but she failed the shot. Squirrels were hard anyway.

“Shit…” Y/N cussed, passing the crossbow back to Daryl.

“Best luck next time,” Dawn said as she and Jane began walking towards Alexandria doors, Sasha waving at them from the lookout.

“Oh, and she saw it too, great…” Y/N complained.

“Come on, it wasn’t bad, the posture was good and all.” Daryl shrugged.

“Does this mean I still get a massage?” Y/N asked and Daryl snorted.

“I’ll think about it.” He teased back. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure that the first day I arrived here I killed that possum they were talking about.

“No, it can’t be, I’ve kept seeing it.”

“Seriously?” Daryl frowned at her…was this possum thing something real or was she just messing with him.

“Seriously, he has been coming almost since we started living here, and I saw him yesterday.”

“As I said…all possums look the same…” Daryl shook his head…he couldn’t believe this was a real thing.

“Say whatever you want…we got a possum neighbor and you’re not going to eat it.”

Daryl scoffed, rolling his eyes, but he couldn’t help his smirk, wrapping his arm around Y/N shoulders and walking back into Alexandria.

*

“I nailed it!”

“Yes, sunshine, you did.” Daryl couldn’t help his smirk as he saw Jane celebrating having landed all the shots.

As Jane had kept training with Rosita, both with and without a knife, he had decided to start training her aim too. Instead of a gun, though, he’d made her a slingshot. It was silent, not like the firearms, easier to handle for her, and it was easier to find ammo for it. He had ended up making another for Dawn, and most times the two kids trained together, shooting at some cans. Lisa joined them sometimes too, but she preferred to train with a regular rifle with Enid and Carl from up the wall.

Sometimes Daryl could see other kids watching from afar, and he had the feeling he was going to end up having to make more slingshots…he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to teach that many kids…

“I missed one…” Dawn glared at the offending can.

“You did great anyway,” Daryl assured her, and he wasn’t lying.

“Can we go to the ballet class now?” Dawn asked, picking up the cans and putting them in place. There wasn’t really a ballet class as such, just Jane and Dawn teaching what they knew to some other kids that joined them in Robert’s living room, but they seemed to have a great time anyway. Still, a bit surreal in an apocalyptic deadly world like that, if you thought about it, but Daryl tried not to. It was like Maggie said, this wasn’t just about survival, it was about living too and about enjoying it. Daryl had never been very sure about it, but he was starting to see the truth in her words lately.

“Sure…I’m gonna pick up Y/N.”

She was up in the watchtower with Sasha, training and taking watch, and she climbed down when she saw him.

“How was it today? Do you have your hands full with kids already?”

“Nah.” He snorted. “I don’t think their parents would be happy about them going to throw stones with the weird redneck.”

“Come on, Daryl.” Y/N scolded him. “You’re not ‘a weird redneck’, you’re their neighbor, the one who saved them, who brings them meat, takes care of them, makes sure they’re safe…people look up to you, Daryl…”

“Yeah sure…” He couldn’t believe Y/N’s words, just couldn’t. “Anyway, Jane was great, you should have seen her, she knocked all the cans and from a pretty good distance. Dawn too, all but one.”

“Good.” Y/N grinned to him. “You’re a good teacher.” She held his hand, bringing it to her lips to kiss his knuckles, and no matter how many times she did it, it always sent butterflies right to Daryl’s stomach.

“They’re quick learners.” He shrugged. “Carol’s being telling me we should maybe start letting them train shooting at walkers.”

“I don’t know, Daryl…”

“Yeah, no, I don’t either.” He knew they trained so they could be able to put walkers down, but still, thinking about them shooting at walkers, even if he was with them, it was too risky anyway. Maybe he could tie a walker, or keep it behind a fence or something…could be a good way to have people training at putting them down by sinking the knife into the skulls without risking to get bit…but for now, he’d have the kids not getting near walkers.

“I know they need to be able to kill the walkers, I want them to learn, but…” Y/N said, as if reading his thoughts.

“I know…” Something came to his mind. “We could take them out one day and have them trying to hunt a squirrel or a rabbit, it’d be harder than a can but it wouldn’t be a walker…” The kids hadn’t hunted anything before and he didn’t know how would they react to it, but being able to catch their own food was something they should learn too, just in case, even if Daryl hoped they’d be always safe in Alexandria…

“Okay, I like that better, that way they’ll be learning how to hunt too.” Y/N agreed. “We’re not touching that possum, though.”

Daryl snorted at it. He had still thought that the possum thing was nonsense until last night, Y/N had taken him to the doors and he had actually seen the damn thing rummaging in the garbage…he still was pretty sure that all possums looked the same but well…there were worse things in the world that Alexandria deciding they wanted to have a possum mascot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No plot anymore, just domestic Daryl.
> 
> If you liked it and have a moment, please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	22. Chapter 22

It had taken him a while, but Daryl had managed to find a group of deer near the river, unaware of him watching them hidden away. Some of them finished drinking and they began walking away, and Daryl got ready to get one before they left. One of the deer was getting behind for some reason, and he realized it was limping.

For some weird reason, his first instinct was to go help it, instead of hunting it. Maybe he was spending too much time with Y/N and the kids…if his father and Merle could see him now, thinking like that while hunting game…but what did he cared what his father and Merle thought.

Still, he had gone out to hunt and the deer would feed Alexandria for several weeks. Besides, limping like that, it wouldn’t last long, and so he shot the bolt, making sure it was a clean kill. The other deer ran away, startled, and he approached the dead one, returning his arrow and throwing the deer over his shoulder, and he headed back to Alexandria.

“So, you managed to hunt Bambi,” Y/N said when he delivered the deer to the pantry.

“Stop with that,” He grumbled, smirking. “I haven’t even watched that thing.”

“Better, it’d have traumatized you for real.” She grinned at him. “I don’t think you have a heart hard enough to watch that.”

Daryl just scoffed, shaking his head and smirking as he began to get the deer ready. 

*

The deer was ready, stewed, rationed and kept in the pantry, ready to feed them for as long as possible. Daryl had kept a small piece of meat for himself, though, just a couple of bites. He wanted to make a campfire in the garden and cook it there. He’d remembered he had talked with Jane about it long ago and he had never done it.

Robert, Dawn, and Lisa joined them, and then also Carl and Enid, and once the fire was ready even Rick, Michonne, Judith, Maggie, Glenn, and Carol came, and Daryl really didn’t know why him making a campfire in the garden was so interesting, but having his family together was good after all. He should have taken more meat, though, but he didn’t like to keep meat from the rest of Alexandria, he was their hunter after all, and they almost always stewed it instead of roasting it or anything else because it lasted longer. Some of the others had brought food too, though, and so once the fire was ready he began cooking, watching as the others talked.

“Seriously, Judith was crying bloody murder and then Daryl hold her and she stopped, he held and cooed her like he’d been doing it all his life.” Maggie was telling Y/N, and Daryl felt his cheeks blushing. “It was just natural, seriously, do you know why he’s so good with babies?!”

“No idea!” Y/N seemed to be loving it. “I hadn’t seen him holding a baby before, but well, I hadn’t seen him in seventeen years, so…”

“He was also the first one to feed Judith, like a professional, like…I wasn’t expecting it at all!”

“I wish I had seen that…” Y/N let out a sigh.

“Me too!” Carol added. “I was trapped in a closet for a couple of days because I had almost gotten eaten by walkers, I was too weak to move, until Daryl found me as a knight on shining armor, carried me back to the others like a real hero…” Carol retold while she glanced at him, smirking, and Daryl glared at her, his cheeks burning.

“Why I’m just hearing of all this now! I seriously need more stories.” Y/N asked, and no, she really didn’t, it was too embarrassing. He tried to ignore the talking, and luckily Rick chose that moment to approach him.

“If you keep it like that you’re gonna leave it all charred.”

“You cooked a rabbit in a campfire once and now you think you’re an expert?”

Rick just laughed, placing another piece of meat over the fire. “Let’s see who cooks it better.”

*

It was later than they had planned when everyone left, after having spent a while eating and mostly talking around the campfire. Daryl thought it was a bit stilly, a campfire in the garden inside the walls of Alexandria, but he had to admit that he had enjoyed it.

“Can Dawn and I sleep out here?” Jane asked him, taking him by surprise. “Like camping.”

“We’ve never camped before and there are monsters out there, so can we do it in here?” Dawn asked too.

Daryl looked at Y/N, who just shrugged, smiling softly, and so he nodded. “Yeah, why not, I’ll show you how to make a tent with one of those sheets.”

“You don’t have to bother, it’s late,” Robert said, seeming apologetic.

“Ain’t not bother, it’s fine.” Daryl shrugged, it wasn’t like he usually went to bed early, though since moving with Y/N he actually found himself going to the bed at night, sometimes not even too late.

“Okay, thanks…let’s get those sheets…”

*

Y/N had let him and Robert dealing with the camping and the tent, and once Daryl was sure everything was ready, Jane and Dawn were okay and they had everything they needed, he walked into the house and followed the light to the bedroom. She was already in bed, sitting against the headboard, reading, and she smiled at him when he walked in. He went to the window, looking down at the garden. The tent was still illuminated by the lantern, and everything seemed to be going well.

“They’ll be fine, Daryl. We’re inside walls, there are lookouts up in the walls, stop worrying.”

“Yeah…” He knew she was right and still…he always felt he couldn’t be too cautious in this world, not with the people you loved. But their garden seemed pretty safe, all things considered. “And Jane and Dawn have their pocket knives with them.” He had made sure, no matter it was beyond improbable that they were attacked without the lookouts noticing it.

“Unbelievable,” Y/N muttered, chuckling. “Daryl, stop worrying and come to bed.” He listened to her this time, taking off his jacket, shirt, and boots, and sitting down at what had become his side of the bed, while Y/N left the book on the nightstand table to turn and look at him. “Are you happy you found your deer?” Daryl hummed a yes and Y/N shifted closer to kiss his lips. “Now it’s you who deserves a ‘good aim’ massage.” Daryl scoffed, smirking, and he let Y/N pull at him until his back was to her. “Though it’s not like I’ve seen you fail a shot.”

Her hands began to rub his shoulders, gently kneading the knots and tensed muscles he always had there no matter what, and he couldn’t help his content hum at it. After a minute, she pushed him to lie on the bed over his stomach and he snuggled the pillow, closing his eyes when he felt her hands on his back again, rubbing first at his shoulders and then she kept going down his back, and damn, didn’t it feel good.

“I love your shoulders, no, I love all your back” she murmured and he felt her lips pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades. “Have I told you before?” She had and it still baffled Daryl. It was just shoulders, just his back, nothing special there, and it was all scarred anyway…but if she was going to keep caressing it then he was not going to complain.

After a while of rubbing and massaging, she began to just run her fingers across his back softly, drawing patterns over it and Daryl didn’t know what felt better. Then he felt her leaning closer again, her lips on his skin, trailing kisses over his back and he couldn’t help another hum. Eventually, he turned over to face her, smiling lazily at her.

She smiled too, shifting to straddle his hips, running her hands over his stomach and up to his chest. It felt good, sure it did, but as she caressed down to his sides again Daryl kept her guard up…she knew he was ticklish and he wasn’t too sure she had just made him all relaxed just to tickle him now, she could be evil like that sometimes.

Y/N seemed to read his mind or something as he tensed up, because she smiled wider, pocking his side, not enough to actually tickle but enough to make him jump a little. “I wasn’t going to tickle you, silly.” She giggled quietly. “Just treating you for that deer hunt…and admiring the view from another angle.” Daryl scoffed, all flustered, but then Y/N leaned over to kiss and nibble at his neck and he forgot even how to be embarrassed.

She pulled away but Daryl followed her, sitting up and wrapping his arms around her, keeping her close, and this time it was him the one placing kisses along her neck, loving the quiet moan that she let out as she tilted her head back, exposing more of her neck to him. His hands found their way under her shirt, roaming over soft, warm skin, until eventually they found her breasts, as hesitant as the first time.

Y/N pulled her shirt off her and Daryl shifted from her neck to place kisses over her collarbone, down to her breasts, earning himself another moan, but then Y/N was pushing him to lie down again. His fingers tangled on her hair as she leaned over him to kiss his lips, moving down to his neck, his chest, trailing kisses down to his stomach and Daryl knew that she had him squirming under her but he couldn’t help it. She stopped above the waistband of his pants and looked at him. “Okay?” She whispered and Daryl nodded, swallowing hard, looking at her popping open the button and tugging off his pants.

His eyes closed shut, a strangled moan leaving his lips, when he felt her lips on him, his hips bucking up without him being able to stop himself, but it didn’t seem like Y/N minded as she just kept going, making any thought, worry, idea, everything, disappear from his mind as he could only focus on her and how she was making him feel. When eventually she stopped, pulling away, Daryl caught himself actually letting out a whine and he’d have been embarrassed of himself if he wasn’t so lost in her, pulling at her to make he fall over him again and kiss her lips.

Y/N moved away way too soon, shifting to stand on the bed, and Daryl swallowed hard as he watched her pushing down her own pants and underwear, wobbling a bit as she tried to keep her balance on the mattress, leaving herself as naked as him, standing above him.

Daryl knew he was staring but hell, he couldn’t help himself, and he sat up to ran his hands up her thighs, placing kisses up his thigh, up and up as she hummed until his mouth found her center. “Shit,” she half whined, half moaned, placing one of her hands on the headboard to keep her balance while the other tangled her fingers into his hair.

Each gasp and moan that she let out encouraged him to keep going, his hands placed firmly on her hips, pulling her closer. She tugged at his hair but Daryl didn’t let her pull him away, didn’t stop even when she noticed her shaking and moaning as she came undone. Her knees began to wobble and then she was falling on him without him being able to stop it. “Shit, sorry,” she apologized, embarrassed, as she panted but Daryl just chuckled, feeling strangely proud that he had made her feel like that. She straddled her hips again, leaning over him to kiss him, still panting against his lips.

She sat up when their lips parted, placing her hands on his chest as he repositioned her hips, rocking against him and driving him crazy with it, before sliding down on him, the moan that left her lips matching his own. His hands went to her hips as she rocked against him and Daryl couldn’t stop looking at her, her body as she moved, the smile that sometimes tugged at her lips, the way in which she tried to keep her eyes open to look at him but they kept shutting close, she was just so damn beautiful.

Every moan, gasp, and whimper that left her lips made his hips buck hard against her as his fingers bit into the flesh of her hips but he let her move at her own accord, letting her take whatever she wanted from him. Daryl knew that he was close… the sight of her, the way she felt, every little sound that she let out, it drove him crazy.

He reached down between her legs and when his fingers began to stroke her, her eyes opened wide, a moan leaving her lips, and she began rocking harder, faster, until she cried out and exploded, and Daryl couldn’t have stopped himself from following her even if he had wanted to, she felt too good and the sight of her alone would have been enough to send him over the edge. He barely had the sense to lift her hips off him so he wouldn’t finish inside her, and she collapsed on top of him.

He had his eyes closed, trying to catch his breath, but he opened them when she felt Y/N snuggling to him, placing soft kisses and nibbles across his neck before she let out a content sigh and rested her head on his chest, still half lying over him. He ran a hand through her hair, wrapping his arm around her and smiling down at her, wordless, as he caressed her arm softly.

She didn’t say anything either, just kissed his chest and smiled at him, and Daryl pulled at her gently until he could kiss her lips. She just made him feel like everything was right in the world and it was just so good to feel like that, even for a short while.

Y/N snuggled on his chest again and he kept his arm around her, playing with her hair absentmindedly. He nuzzled her hair and rested his chin on top of her head, closing his eyes. He was too relaxed, and honestly too tired, to being able to stop himself from falling asleep, even if every night he had to remind himself that they were safe, they had people taking watch and they had strong walls, he could let himself sleep.

“I should get a shower…” His half working brain registered Y/N’s sleepy voice. “And you too.”

“Like right now?” He murmured, he didn’t know what was that woman thinking or why she couldn’t wait, but he honestly didn’t intend on moving or letting Y/N move from her place over him. “Why you wanna go to the shower now?” At least she could wait until the damn morning.

“To clean myself?” She snorted quietly.

“I ain’t moving, you’re good, it’s late…just…morning.” He tried to summarize as his eyes closed again.

“Okay.” Y/N seemed to understand what he meant.

“What’d have you done all those months we were out there without running water?” He murmured, all that months after the farm fell until they found the prison, when all they had was sometimes the icy water of the occasional creek, and then until they managed to get running water in the prison. Yeah, even himself could admit that they had been pretty disgusting most of the time then.

“My best impression of a dirty pig?” Y/N chuckled quietly and so did him. “But you’d love me anyway, right?”

“Right.” He nodded, his lips lifting into a smile at her words. “Now shut up and sleep.”

She snorted at that, moving to bite his neck no so gently, but at least she wasn’t tickling him by surprise. She snuggled to him again, letting out a sigh, and he didn’t say anything else. Daryl kept stroking her skin sleepily, feeling her relaxing more and more, breathing deeper, until he knew she had fallen asleep, and it didn’t take him long to do the same.

Daryl woke up when the sky began to clear. He usually woke up when it was still dark, but considering how late it’d been when they had gone to sleep, he guessed it was normal he had overslept. It wasn’t like he was going out hunting today or anything.

Y/N was still asleep, curled up in his arms, snuggled to him, and Daryl couldn’t help his smile looking at her. He kissed her forehead, gently, he didn’t want to wake her, and carefully he moved away from her. He got up from the bed and went to look through the window. Everything seemed peaceful, as if Alexandria was still asleep, including Jane and Dawn in the makeshift tent, not like he could really say from there.

“Come back to bed…” Came Y/N’s sleepy voice, and he did so, snuggling to half lie over her and rest his head on her chest, humming when Y/N wrapped an arm around him and began playing with his hair. “So, everything safe?”

“I guess so…” He murmured, and Y/N kissed the top of his head. She didn’t say anything else, and Daryl felt her falling asleep again.

Eventually, he got up again, and Y/N grumbled something but rolled onto her side to curl up again, squeezing his eyes as if trying hard not to wake up. Daryl chuckled and kissed her shoulder. “Morning.”

“Yeah…” She grumbled, still refusing to open her eyes. She had to go to the pantry but by now Daryl knew she wasn’t much of a morning person if she hadn’t slept what she considered to be enough. Lately she was managing to make him get up later than usual, just by cuddling to him and feeling so comfy…

He got dressed and walked down the stairs and headed to the garden. The tent was silent, so he guessed Jane and Dawn were still asleep. He pecked in and there were they, curled up with the blankets, sleeping. They had to get up soon too, but he decided to let them be until breakfast was ready.

He headed back into the house and to the kitchen to start with the breakfast, the usual oatmeal, but also some neighbor had made bread and had given them some that he could toast. Y/N had already woken up and as he heard her singing, he smiled. She was singing more and more, and he loved it. He heard the door of the bathroom closing and the water of the shower.

Y/N joined him in the kitchen when he was about to finish with the toasts, her hair pinned on a messy bun on top of her head, cute as ever. She wrapped her arms around him to hold him from behind and kissed his cheek.

“Now yes, good morning,” she said and Daryl chuckled, turning his head to peck her lips.

“Morning. Breakfast’s ready.”

“Are the girls still asleep?” She asked and he nodded, placing the toasts on a plate. “I’m going to wake them up.”

“Nah, I’ll go, see what they thought about camping.” It was a garden, but still, it was new to them.

“Okay, come back before breakfasts get cold.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes there was smut, yes I’m embarrassed, yes I’m going to hide in a hole.
> 
> If you liked it and have a moment, please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	23. Chapter 23

Daryl would have never thought he’d be looking forward to come back to Alexandria, but there he was. He had been out on a run for almost four days, and as much as he liked to be outside, he found himself wanting to come back by now. He missed Y/N and Jane. It was one thing to go out with them, but without them…he didn’t like it that much. At night, while keeping watch, he found himself thinking about them, what they would be doing, missing them, and despite all his nights sleeping alone, he missed Y/N by his side when he tried to sleep now.

At least they had found stuff, and they needed it. They had also picked up more plants and herb so they could use them to grow more in their gardens, and per Daryl’s request, they had stopped at a library too. He’d picked up as many books as he could fit in the spare bags, from useful books to just novels and stuff that he thought people from Alexandria might enjoy…in his case, mostly books that he thought Y/N and Jane could like. He found a copy of the first book that Y/N had ever lent him, and he placed that in his own bag to give it to her. He was bringing a lot of books to Alexandria’s library, they wouldn’t mind he was keeping one for himself.

Daryl ride back to Alexandria and as he parked the bike he spotted Jane sitting down on the park with other kids. She looked around when she heard the bike, grinning and running to him when she saw him.

“You’re back!” She hugged him once he reached him, and Daryl still felt surprised every time Jane did that, but he did like it.

“Yeah, everything okay here?”

“Like always.” Jane shrugged, still grinning. “And you? No trouble?”

“Nothing we couldn’t deal with. We found things we needed. Got a ton of new books for the library.” Daryl couldn’t help his smile at the way in which Jane grinned at that. He reached into his bag and picked one that he thought Jane and the others kid of Alexandria might like, judging by the picture on the cover. “Here, just took it to the library once you’re done.”

“Okay!” Jane grinned even bigger as he examined the book.

“Where’s your mum?”

“At the pantry.”

Daryl nodded, taking the very few cans of food that they had found to brought them to the pantry. “Okay, I’m gonna give her that, I’ll see you later at home.”

“See you!”

Daryl had just walked into the pantry when he saw Y/N running to him, grinning, hugging him as soon as she reached him. He wrapped his arms around her too, and they held each other in silence for a few seconds before Y/N pulled back to look at him.

“Was everything okay?” She asked as she ran her fingers through his hair before pushing it away from his face and he hummed, nodding.

“Found some stuff that’ll be useful. Found a lot of books too, they’re carrying them to the library now.” He couldn’t help his smile seeing how Y/N’s eyes light up at that. He wanted to give her the one he had picked up for her, but decided to wait until they were at home.

“I’ll go check them tomorrow.” Y/N leaned closer to kiss his lips. “I’m glad you’re back. I missed you.”

“Missed you too,” Daryl murmured before she kissed him again.

Y/N began to go through the box of cans that Daryl had carried there, and so he helped to sort hem, talking about the run. When they finished, Y/N’s shift was finished, and so they walked back home hand in hand.

“I know you can handle yourself…I’ve seen it. But I worry every time you go out,” Y/N said, and Daryl brought her hand to his lips to kiss her knuckles. He wanted to tell her that she didn’t need to worry, that he’d always be alright and back, and though he’d always try his best to do so, he knew anything could happen in that world. He didn’t plan on dying anytime soon, though.

Back home, Y/N pulled at him to sit down with her on the sofa. She went to snuggle with him but Daryl pulled back to rummage into his bag and take out the book, giving it to Y/N.

“Thank you,” she grinned, caressing the cover. “I really like this book.”

“I know, it was the first you lent me.”

“Was it?” Y/N smiled at him. “I remember lending it to you, but I didn’t remember that it was the first.”

Daryl did. He remembered how confused he had actually been when he’d seen that she actually meant it when she’d told him she’d lend him one of her books. He remembered how scared he’d been of losing it or ruining it somehow. He’d kept it as hid as possible in his room, not looking forward to Merle finding it and asking questions, he didn’t want to tell him who had lent it to him. He’d read it at night, hidden.

That evening, after dinner, Daryl had found that he actually remembered things about the book, while he listened to Jane reading aloud some chapters to Y/N and him before bedtime. She did that sometimes, reading aloud to him and Y/N whatever book she was reading when they all had time, while they made food or just after dinner, if she wasn’t on a sleepover. Daryl had given the kid her own book, but it seemed she wanted to read that too.

That night, as he lied shirtless on the bed on his belly, snuggled to the pillow, he couldn’t help to admit how much better it was to sleep in a bed than the ground. He wouldn’t complain, would sleep in the ground whenever necessary, but yeah…maybe Alexandria was getting into him, making him weak or something, but lying on the bed was much better. Especially if Y/N was with him, and he smiled when he heard her coming out of the bathroom, wearing that fluffy robe she liked and that Daryl still didn’t know how she had gotten in the middle of the apocalypse.

She sat down next to him on the bed and ran her hands up his back, caressing his skin, before she began to rub at the knots and build up tension on his shoulders. Daryl hummed, smiling, enjoying her touch, and he let her keep going for a little way before he turned around onto his back to look at her, caressing her face with his knuckles.

Y/N smiled, nuzzling into her palm before leaning down to kiss his lips softly. She let out a content sigh and lied down on his chest, snuggling to him. Daryl wrapped his arm around her, closing his eyes and playing with her hair. “I missed you,” she whispered. “I missed this, sleeping next to you.”

“Me too,” he whispered, nuzzling into her hair. Everytime he spent days out, he missed her more than he could have imagined when he started going out in runs. Whenever he had to spend more than a night out, he began worrying about what could be going on in Alexandria, and just missing her.

“I know runs are needed but still…I hate worrying about something going wrong,” Y/N said quietly and Daryl understood, he did too. “Maggie says that once we’re able to produce stuff ourselves, we won’t need to go out on runs that much.” Daryl guessed so, it’d be good, but there was still a lot of time until that day arrived.

“It’s strange, not have her or Glenn out there.” In every run that Daryl had done, either Glenn or Maggie, or both, had been there, but Maggie hadn’t joined any run since arriving to Alexandria, and Glenn had stopped going to the last too.

“I guess that with her being pregnant, they don’t want to risk anything,” Y/N said as her fingers trailed softly over his chest, and he nodded. “You’re not worried, are you?”

He wasn’t…just some times, he couldn’t help his mind from wandering… “You know what happened to Judith’s mum, Lori.”

“Hey, that was different.” Y/N looked up at him from his chest. “You didn’t have what we have here. Everything will be okay.” Daryl nodded and Y/N pecked his lips before resting his head on his chest again.

“Can’t believe she didn’t tell us she was pregnant when we were out there…” He muttered.

“She didn’t know for sure until arriving here,” Y/N said. “Didn’t start wondering almost until Aaron found you all, and she didn’t want any of you to worry.”

“She should have told us as soon as she suspected anyway, could have gotten her more food, rest…”

“Yeah, well, doesn’t matter now. She’s okay and she and the baby are going to be just fine.” Y/N placed a kiss over his heart. “I wonder if they’ll be a boy or a girl…they’re gonna be so cute either way…”

Daryl hummed, nodding. Most times he still thought that having a baby in that world was crazy and dangerous, but they were in Alexandria now. The place was safe, safer than they had ever been. Hell, safer than he had been as a kid even. There were kids in Alexandria and they seemed to be good, Jane included, even if he worried anyway. Judith was good…Maggie’s and Glenn’s baby will be too, he and the others would make sure.

“One thing I know, they’re gonna love their uncle Daryl as much as Judith does.” Y/N pulled back to smile at him, her fingers caressing his cheeks, and Daryl found himself blushing.

“Stop it,” he grumbled, pulling at her so she’d lie over his chest.

“What?” Y/N grinned at him from his chest. “It’s true! You’re so good with kids, I had no idea! I never imagined it…” She laughed quietly, placing a kiss to his chest.

Daryl shrugged. He didn’t think he was good with kids or nothing, and he still didn’t understand why Jane said that some kids in Alexandria wanted to train with him like her and Dawn did sometimes, when there was already a training group for kids. He was surprised, though, to have found first with Carl and Judith, then with Jane and Dawn, that he actually liked kids, beyond that overwhelming need of taking care of them, of being sure they were safe.

“Jane adores you too.” Y/N gave him that bright smile again. “And you’re good with her, too” Daryl shrugged shyly. It was a relief that Y/N’s kid didn’t hate him, that Jane actually seemed to want to spend time with him… And she was a great kid. Had to be Y/N’s. “I mean… You’re not her father… But the way you behave with her…” Y/N trailed off, biting her lip, and Daryl frowned at her, confused…maybe he’d overstepped or something?

Worry knotted his stomach and he forced himself to speak. “If you don’t…if I…” Or at least he tried. “Maybe ain’t my place…”

“No, Daryl, Daryl, stop.” Y/N pressed a finger to his lips, stopping him, before kissing him. “It’s the opposite of what you are thinking. I just wanted to say that…that I’m grateful, you know? That you are like that with her…that you care for her the way you do…just…thank you, Daryl.” Daryl blinked at her, still frowning…the hell was she thanking him for… “Daryl?” Now she was the one frowning.

“You ain’t gotta thank me for nothing…of course I care ‘bout her. She’s your kid, I’d would care just ‘cause she’s, but Jane? She’s a great kid.” Daryl shrugged, still confused about why Y/N was making it a big of a deal, and finally, Y/N’s frown disappeared. “I know I ain’t her father…but I’d take her as my own, if you let me.” He thought he’d been doing it already, and Jane didn’t seemed to mind having him around, surprisingly enough.

“You’re something else, aren’t you?” Y/N asked softly, and Daryl just kept looking at her. “Like…sometimes I wonder if I’m dreaming or something, because this? You? Being with you like this? Yeah, I don’t know how I got to have all this.”

She grinned at him and Daryl scoffed, shaking his head and feeling himself blush, wondering what had gotten into her. He pulled at her so she’d fall onto his chest again. “You’re ridiculous. Stop it” He murmured, kissing the top of her head, and Y/N just chuckled.

“My luckiest day, the one I met you…” She murmured.

“Mine too.” Daryl whispered back. He didn’t know how Y/N and him had gotten lucky enough to met a second time, but he was damn grateful for it.

*

“So? Who’s that man they’re saying you found?” Y/N asked as soon as he walked out of Alexandria’s cells.

“Some asshole that made me and Rick lose a van full of food,” Daryl grumbled. He ought to kick that asshole’s ass way more.

“Is he from a group? Maybe he needed the food for them? What has he said?”

“I don’t know, Y/N!” He snapped and he regretted it, but Y/N seemed to understand. “He’s unconscious now.”

“Okay.” Y/N reached out for his hand. “Come on, let’s go back home.”

“Nah, nah I have to watch over this guy.”

“Daryl, come on, there’s someone else doing that. You have been out all day doing shit, you have to rest.” Y/N tugged at his hands. “Besides…Jane has a lot of questions about the guy, so better get ready.”

*

Daryl knew they shouldn’t have let that asshole Jesus guy in. He’d broken out of the prison, and Daryl didn’t know how he had done it, and he’d also let himself inside Rick’s place. They ought to be kicking his ass, but the guy had talked about his community, and if it wasn’t a lie, Rick and Maggie thought it was a chance too big to miss it.

Apparently, they had cattle, with horses, cows, and goats, they had fruit… They’d be open to negotiate trading with Alexandria. Even Daryl had to admit it, if it was true, it was good, they needed it. But it could be a trap, and he didn’t trust the Jesus guy. Daryl was getting the van ready to go when Y/N approached him.

“You’ll be careful, right?” She looked worried, and Daryl wished he could tell her that she had nothing to worry about, but he wouldn’t lie to her.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “He better not try anything, for his own good.”

“Okay…” Y/N leaned closer to him to kiss his lips. “If it’s true…another community of people, good people, maybe, the chance to trade…that’ll be good.” Daryl nodded. He really hoped it was true and not a trap. Suddenly Y/N, despite looking worried, was smirking. “Hey, did you know about Michonne and Rick? And you didn’t tell me anything?”

“I didn’t know nothing…” It didn’t feel like that big of a surprise, somehow, but he hadn’t been expecting it either, or knew anything about it.

“I mean…I saw Michonne looking at Rick in a way sometimes…” Y/N chuckled. “But It’s been a surpise…I like it, they both deserve it.”

“Yeah, they do.” Daryl nodded, kissing Y/N’s forehead before turning his attention back to the van, finishing with it.

“Be careful,” Y/N said again before he left, and Daryl hated how her eyes seemed wet. “Be back.”

“Come on, it ain’t much different than a run,” he tried to comfort her, even though he was worried himself about it being a trap. “It’ll be fine. We’ll be back in a day or two.”

“Make it one.”

*

Daryl couldn’t make it in a day. Everything was bigger than he could have imagined, starting for Hilltop, there were almost as many people as in Alexandria, and even with a damn mansion in there. The leader, Gregory, was an idiot, but after more than an hour negotiating with Maggie, they managed to make a deal.

She’d come regularly to instruct them how to farm properly, so they’d have more crops, and in exchange, Hilltop would give them now some of their fruit and vegetables, and when new cattle were born, part of it would be for Alexandria too. Daryl didn’t know how Maggie had done it, but it was more than good news for Alexandria.

Also, he didn’t think Maggie would mind going to Hilltop often, since there was a doctor there who happened to be a gynecologist and could check on her. He’d given her an ultrasound, however that machine was still working Daryl didn’t know, and Maggie had now a picture of it. Daryl couldn’t see much of a baby in it, but it was a good thing, it’d ensure that Maggie and the baby would be okay.

The surprises didn’t end there.

Hilltop also traded with another community, called The Kingdom, which didn’t sound that good to Daryl, but according to Jesus they were a lot of people and had more crops and cattle. They might be open to trade with Alexandria too. And so they went there too, although Sasha and Abraham went back to Alexandria driving the truck with some veggies and fruit that they had already gotten from Hilltop, and to inform of where were the others going and why.

The Kingdom was impressive, more than Hilltop and Alexandria, big, with gardens, lots of people…the leader, than King Ezekiel…he was strange and Daryl didn’t know what to think of him. But he had a pet tiger, a damn real tiger, so maybe he wasn’t that bad. Honestly, Daryl was more interested in the tiger than in the king. But he seemed like a good guy, agreeing to trade with Alexandria, seeming particularly interested in their library.

It was crazy, that in the span of not even two days they had met two communities as big as Alexandria, with people that for once didn’t seem to want to kill them, and they had more or less accorded a trading system for all of them…Daryl still felt a bit paranoid of it all, but all in all, if it worked, if it was real, then it’d be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We met The Hilltop and The Kingdom! If you liked it and have a moment, please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	24. Chapter 24

“A real tiger?!”

“Yep, a real tiger.” Daryl couldn’t help his smile at Jane’s wide eyes. “She’s called Shiva.”

“Can you take me to see her, please?”

“Someday, maybe.” When he were sure that neither Hilltop nor the Kingdom were a threat and that it’d be safe enough to take Jane there. The King seemed harmless enough, but he’d seen how most of his people trained, they could probably be good warriors. He needed to be sure that this trading and alliance between communities was real.

Training…they could maybe add that to the trading, Rosita will have stuff to teach for sure, and the Alexandrians, and probably Hilltop too, could learn from the Kingdom, considering the training he had seen them doing there. He should talk about it with Rick. But tomorrow, for now he just wanted to be with Y/N and Jane after a couple of days out.

“I want to see her too!” Y/N said as she came back from the kitchen with one of the apples that they had brought from Hilltop. She dropped down onto the sofa next to him, biting into the apple.

“Tell you the same, someday, when I’m sure it’s safe.” Y/N nodded, leaning to kiss his cheek.

“Can I go see Dawn? I want to tell her about the tiger!” Jane asked.

“Okay, darling, pick one of those apples too.” Y/N got up, going to the kitchen and coming back with another apple that she gave to Jane while she stuffed a book into her bag. “We’ll go pick you up for dinner time, alright? Tell Dawn to come if she wants to.”

“Okay, thanks mom, see you later!”

“Bye, sunshine.”

When Jane left, Y/N sat down on the sofa next to him, throwing her legs over his lap and curling up to him. “Everything went well, then.”

“Seems like so,” Daryl said quietly, running his fingers through her hair.

“I was worried thinking about Jesus’ community, and then Rosita came with all that food but told us that you all were going to yet another strange community…”

“I didn’t trust it either. But the Hilltop and the Kingdom have been trading for a while now, seems they want to add us too. Don’t know…they didn’t seem to be trying anything. Can’t be sure yet, though.”

“Hmm hmm.” Y/N nodded. “But for now, if this is real, knowing that there are more communities out there, trading…that’s good…It’ll be good for us.”

“Yeah.” Daryl kissed the top of her head. He really hoped this wasn’t some sort of trick.

Y/N pulled back so she could look at him, smiling. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too.” Daryl smiled when Y/N leaned closer to kiss his lips. Once their lips parted, Y/N smiled at him.

“I saw Maggie’s ultrasound! Cute!”

“You can see something there?” Daryl asked and Y/N snorted.

“Yeah, sort of. I learned when I was pregnant with Jane, more or less, at least I can find the bump that is supposed to be the baby.”

“Hhmmm…gotta tell me what to look at, then.” She didn’t do it often, but every time Y/N mentioned something about her life before Alexandria, about Jane being little or her being pregnant, it always came to Daryl’s mind how she had been alone, without anyone, besides her friends Nora and Robert. He hated it. He couldn’t believe a guy would be so idiot and blind to let her go, and would be such an asshole to leave her pregnant without any interest in the baby. His loss. He felt guilty every time that he realized he was glad that Jane’s father wasn’t around, because that meant he could be with Y/N and could take care of Jane, because he knew that Y/N had had a hard time being alone pregnant and raising Jane back then….yet he couldn’t help himself…

He’d do his best to compensate those hard years, though, he would take care of her and Jane, and would do everything in his hand to make sure they were good and safe, that they had everything they needed.

“What you thinking about…you got all serious all of a sudden…though sometimes you still have your grumpy face when you’re happy so I don’t know,” Y/N teased him.

“Nothing…” Daryl blushed. “Just glad to be back. With you.” He shrugged, shy, and Y/N grinned, her smile lighting up her face.

“Me too.” She leaned to kiss his lips, shifting to straddle his lap and hold onto his shoulders, pulling back just to look at him, running her fingers through his hair, pushing it away from his face before leaning to kiss him again. Daryl kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her, and when Y/N moaned against his lips, grinding softly against him, he gasped and pulled back to arch an eyebrow at her.

“What?” She bit her lip as she smiled and Daryl couldn’t help his own smile, shaking his head and reaching to stroke her hair. “We got the house to ourselves…so…” She didn’t say anything else, just leaned to kiss him again.

Y/N’s lips moved to his neck, kissing his skin and making him hum while her hands opened the buttons of his shirt, opening it and brushing her hands down his chest. Y/N pulled away and got up, and before Daryl could ask anything she’d knelt down in front of him, and he swallowed hard looking at her, feelings his cheeks blushing.

“Do you want me to stop?” Y/N asked softly as she still always did, and Daryl shook his head, unable to speak. Y/N smiled, nodding, and then her hands were unbuckling him, pushing his trousers down, and Daryl couldn’t help his moan, eyes closing when he felt her mouth on him, and he fell back on the sofa.

Daryl didn’t know how she always managed to make his mind go blank, making him forget about Hilltop and The Kingdom and what could go wrong, the only way in his mind was her or rather the way she made him feel, bitting his lips as he stifled another groan…It was over sooner than he’d have wanted it, though, not that Y/N seemed to mind, smiling and shusing him when he muttered an apology, panting. She buckled his trousers again before kissing his belly and up his chest until she reached his lips, kissing him before getting up, reaching out her hand for him and helping him up, his legs still shaking.

Y/N walked them both down up the stairs and onto their bedroom, turning around to look at him. “So…how tired are you after these days away?” She asked as he pushed his vest and shirt off him with a playful smile on her lips and instead of answering Daryl kissed her, pushing at her carefully until she was lying down on the bed.

Y/N smiled, laughing quietly, scooting on the bed until her head was on the pillow and tugging at his hand to pull him closer. Daryl pecked her lips before he began trailing kisses over her neck, his hands running under her shirt, caressing her skin and the fabric of her bra, until Y/N pushed him, gently, sitting up to take off her shirt and remove her bra, falling back against the pillow once she was done.

Daryl hovered over her, looking down at her and swallowing hard before lowering down to kiss her breasts, and the quiet moan that Y/N let out as her hand went to the back of his head made him smile against her skin. He moved from her breats to trail kissis down, down, enjoying the way in which Y/N whritled when he reached her navel. Her hands went to unbutton her trousers and Daryl looked at her, pulling down her trousers and underwear when she nodded.

Once he was done, Daryl didn’t lose a second to kiss her skin again, first her navel then up her inner thigh, loving quiet sounds she let out. When his mouth found her centre and the moan she let out wasn’t quiet at all, and Daryl had to remind himself they were alone in the house. He loved every sound and moand that Y/N let out, the way in which her fingers ran through his hair, tugging at it from time to time, and he kept going until he felt her climax, until he felt her relax again, panting, and he couldn’t help but feel proud of making her feel like that. Daryl kissed her inner thigh before kissing up her body, until he reached her lips, kissing her softly before pulling back to look at her.

Her eyes were closed but she opened them to look at him, smiling at him in a way that he loved. He stroked her hair and ran her knuckles over her cheek before kissing her lips again. They were still kissing when he felt her hand sliding under his pants, and he moaned against her lips when she stroke him.

Daryl sat back to help Y/N push down his pants, losing no time on crawling back over her and kissing her again. He looked at her questioning and she nodded, wrapping her leg around his waist and biting letting out a cry that drove him crazy when he pushed himself inside her. Daryl couldn’t help a moan of his own, and he began moving slowly as he kissed her lips again. He felt Y/N’s hand at the back of his head, fingers tangling into his hair and she gasped when he picked up his pace, tugging at his hair.

Daryl nuzzled her neck before kissing her skin, bitting gently, groaning as he felt closer and closer to the edge, loving all her little and no so little sounds and moans, feeling Y/N writle and arch against him, until he couldn’t take it more, grunting and pulling out of her as he climaxed. He fell on top of Y/N, snuggling to her, humming and smiling when she kissed his temple and caressed his hair and back, enjoying the buzz going through him.

“What are my chances of dragging you to the shower with me?” Y/N asked once she stopped panting, though she still sounded short of breath.

“Not many…” He muttered, snuggling to her even more, he was just too comfy, and Y/N snorted.

“Sun’s going down soon…” She said quietly. “We still have to cook dinner and go pick up Jane…” Daryl hummed a yes, she was right, but he really didn’t want to move…he forced himself to pull away from her, though, because if she kept playing with his hair like that, he might actually fall asleep.

“Yeah…come on, I’ll make stew,” he rasped as he sat up, still feeling a bit dazzled.

“But…shower first.” Y/N grinned at him, kneeling up on the bed and wrapping her arms around his neck. “Come on…you know you love it when I wash your hair…” Truth was…he did, couldn’t got himself to deny it. He smiled as he watched her getting up and stretch before making her way to the bathroom, before getting up and following her.

He found himself almost purring, eyes closed as he leaned into Y/N’s touch while she washed his hair, fingers running through it, lathering it, rubbing at his scalp and massaging the back of his neck…yeah, okay, he loved it when she washed his hair, he gotta admit it.

“You know what I wish we had?” Y/N asked and Daryl hummed, his mind not totally there. “A bathtub…like…it’d make this perfect…”

Daryl snorted. “You got a hot shower and soap in the apocalypse, ain’t you content enough?”

“I am…just wishing we could upgrade…” Y/N laughed quietly.

“Could always go to the river one day…ain’t the same but…”

“Sounds good…freezing, but good.” Y/N turned the water on, raising the shampoo.

“Then we’ll go…Now come here.” Daryl took the soap, rubbing his hands with it until it made suds, and then he began to gently wash Y/N’s hair, smiling at Y/N’s face as she closed her eyes, purring herself.

*

“I’ve never been this far from Alexandria since we arrived there!”

“Me neither!”

They had just reached the Kingdom and Daryl couldn’t help his smile at how excited Jane and Dawn seemed. They had jumped out of the car that Y/N had been driving, Robert and Lisa were there too. Daryl had gone on his bike, followed by another car and a van, ready for trading.

They had been trading with both Hilltop and the Kingdom for a little more than four months now, and by now Daryl was more or less sure that they didn’t mean harm to them, they really wanted to have an alliance between the three communities. And so this time, he’d decided to take Y/N and Jane to finally meet Shiva.

It went as Daryl had expected, or even better. The girls loved the tiger, and Shiva seemed friendly enough with them. Daryl liked that tiger. He’d petted her once or twice without nobody knowing it, couldn’t help himself from stroking her soft fur, even if he was risking to lose a hand. But Shiva hadn’t bitten him, she’d actually purred. Yeah, he loved that tiger. Could even plot to steal her from Ezekiel.

Y/N liked Ezekiel almost as much as she liked the tiger. They spent a good while talking, about books mostly, Daryl had stopped listening after a while and gone to pay attention to Shiva with the girls. He still though Ezekiel was kind of a strange guy, but he had a tiger and he traded with them, and he was a good man.

They spent the day there, and then everyone came back home before the sun went down, right in time for dinner. Almost everyone.

“I just don’t get why she wants to stay there…” Daryl grumbled later that night, while he was in bed with Y/N.

“Really?” Y/N giggled. “Come on, Carol has been going every time there was a trading meeting, and other times just because. Haven’t you noticed how Ezekiel looks at her?”

“Are you serious?” Daryl frowned.

“Come on! You can read people, are you suddenly blind on this? I’m serious and I’m sure I’m right!”

“But he’s…I don’t know…not her type.”

“And what’s her type?” Y/N giggled again.

“Dunno…” Daryl shrugged awkwardly. “He’s…strange and corny.”

Y/N snorted. “I like him, he’s a nice guy. Come on, Daryl, he’d be good for Carol.” Daryl didn’t say anything, just kept scowling, and Y/N nudged him softly. “Aaw…are you sad ‘cause your friend doesn’t live here anymore?” Daryl just shrugged, blushing in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, darling! But she’s not that far, and we’ll go visit and she’ll come visit too.” She pushed his hair away from his face and kissed his lips. “More chances to see Shiva.”

“You liked her, then?”

“She’s amazing!” Y/N grinned. “Jane, Dawn, and Lisa loved her, they have been talking about her all the drive back home. They want to go see her again the next time you go trading.”

“Okay, we can all go together again.”

“Family travels always sound good.”

*

“First Carol now Maggie and Glenn too…”

Daryl was at the pantry with Y/N, getting some rabbits that he’d hunted ready, and he’d just come back to the news that Maggie, at the end of her pregnancy now, and Glenn were thinking about moving to the Hilltop. They’ve been going there a lot, at least once a week, not only to check on the baby but also because they were good friends with Jesus…and with more people from Hilltop, it seemed.

Apparently, they had decided they were fed up with that useless leader of them, Gregory, and had made clear that they didn’t want him leading no more. They had asked Jesus, but he didn’t want to be a leader. Daryl understood. Then, they had talked about Maggie, even if she wasn’t from there. They seemed impressed with how she was turning Hilltop into a really productive farm, even better than Alexandria or The Kingdom because the soil was better, and her skill to keep walkers away and put them down while pregnant had impressed them too. Gregory seemed pretty useless. They seemed to think Maggie would be a good leader. And so they asked her.

Maggie had been thinking about it for a while, and now it seemed she was going to say yes and move there. Rick had encouraged her, assuring her that he was sure she was a great leader. Daryl thought like that too, but he didn’t want to see her gone, he didn’t like her and Glenn, and their baby being away.

“It’s like everyone’s scattering around…” He murmured. He felt silly, he knew it was silly, but it was a bit like his family splitting.

Y/N reached out for his hand, didn’t care it was all dirty. “Don’t think like that, love. Maggie’s going to be good there, okay? She’s a born leader, I can see it. It’ll be good for Hilltop too. You know Gregory can’t handle sit.”

“Yeah, I know…”

“It’ll be okay, darling, I promise. Everything will be alright.”

Turned out Y/N had been right. He went visiting Maggie, Glenn and baby Hershel almost every week, Carol more or less too. He usually took Y/N with him on the bike, enjoying the ride together. Other times they’d take the girls too. It wasn’t the end of the world, again. His family didn’t split or anything like that. It just seemed to grow, in a way, with new people…and it couldn’t be a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to you know, Shiva here is going to live forever. If you liked it and have a moment, please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	25. Chapter 25

Daryl didn’t know how almost three years had come and gone since his family and him were taken into Alexandria, since he found Y/N again. Time had seemed to fly. Daryl wondered if he had ever been that happy. He doubted it. He sometimes woke up at night thinking it all had been a dream. Most days, at some point late at night, he couldn’t help his mind from telling him that all this would end, that he’d lose his family eventually. But he tried to ignore it and enjoy it.

Between what each community was able to produce now, all their harvest and the crafting that some people had begun doing over the years, and the trading between communities, runs weren’t that necessary anymore, nor like once they had been. Still, they needed to do one from time to time, and Daryl was now in one of the biggest in several months, along with Glenn, Michonne and Rick, Carol, Jerry, Jesus, Rosita, Carl and Enid, who Daryl didn’t remember looking so much like grown-ups before, and some other volunteers from each community. The biggest group that had gone out in a long while.

They had gone to a shopping mall, big. Clearing it from walkers had been a task that they had done over time, during a couple of days, driving away some groups while putting down others, until finally they could go through the place safe enough, picking up all the useful things that they could carry. It’d been a perfect spot, Glenn and Maggie always managed to find the best places and organize the best plans. Small wonder that the Hilltop was the most thriving community.

They were now on their way back and Daryl couldn’t wait to see Y/N and Jane after days out. Fuel wasn’t that common anymore, so almost everyone rode horses and carts, but he still rode his bike thanks to some weird fuel that Eugine made. He had nothing against horses he just didn’t see himself on one…

Daryl was nervous about seeing Y/N, though. He had something in his pocket for her, and he didn’t know how she was going to react, what she was going to think. He didn’t know what intention she might think he had by giving her that…hell, not even Daryl himself knew. He had just seen it and thought on her, hid it in his pocket…and now he was so nervous and he was thinking about just throwing it away. Which made him feel like an idiot.

He had something for Jane, Dawn, and Lisa, too, but that didn’t make him nervous, he knew the girls would like it, and they always loved it when he brought them something from runs. Lisa had been talking about going out on runs too. She was just a couple of years younger than Enid and Carl, and she’d gotten good with the knife and rifle, but Daryl knew Robert was scared about her going out when it wasn’t just to the nearby woods, always with more people…still, maybe if someday they did a small, easy run, Daryl could try and take the girl with him, see how she managed herself out there. Maybe she was ready.

Still, there was no rush, they didn’t need to go out that often, as long as she knew how to protect herself from walkers and the wrong kind of people, she’d be good. And by now, everyone in all the communities knew how to do that.

Once his group arrived at Alexandria, a group of people came to help them sort everything they brought, Y/N included. She ignored the carts and boxes, though, rushing straight to his bike, and Daryl had barely time to dismount before she was hugging him tightly.

“I missed you…I was worried, can’t help it…” She muttered, and Daryl pulled back to brush his knuckles over her cheekbone.

“Everything went okay, as Maggie and Glenn planned, they know what they’re doing.” He tried to reassure her, even though he understood her worry. “It was a good run, we got lots of stuff, we won’t be needing another run in months.”

“I can see that,” Y/N gave him a small smile before pecking his lips. “I’ll help you all set everything in place.”

“Dad! You’re back!”

Daryl was carrying a box when he heard Jane’s voice and saw her and Dawn rushing to him. He didn’t know when Jane had begun to call him dad, couldn’t really pinpoint it, it had just happened over time. It still sounded strange to him, made him feel strange, but not in a bad way…he just never thought he’d hear that word referred to him, and knowing that Jane had chosen him, had decided to call him dad…it was good, scary, but good. Before he knew it, Jane was hugging him, and so he lowered down the box to hug her

“Everything was okay?” Jane asked, letting go of him so he could hug Dawn too.

“Yeah, and in here?”

“All good.” Jane nodded. “We can handle ourselves even without you here.”

“Yeah.” Daryl snorted, shaking his head. “Got you both something.”

“What?!”

Daryl took out from one of his pockets a couple of bracelets joined by a charm, which had the words “best friends forever” engraved. The charm could split, and each bracelet would have a piece of the charm. He had walked past a jewelry shop and saw that, and he had thought the girls would like it. Judging by their squeal, he had been right.

“Where did you find it?”

“It’s perfect!”

“Thank you!”

They were already splitting the charm and helping each other put on the bracelets, and Daryl couldn’t help his smile. Before he knew it, they were already hugging him. “I got something for your sister too, don’t know where she is.”

“Taking watch,” Dawn replied as she took the bracelet that Daryl gave her, snorting when she saw it. “She’ll like it.”

This one was a single one, and it was engraved too. “Take no shit.” Daryl had thought on Lisa when he saw it, and so he’d picked it up too. Rosita was with him when he had found it, and she’d picked up one for herself too, so he guessed Lisa might like it too, and she spent a lot of time training with Rosita, so they could have matching bracelets or any of that corny shit that Daryl was embarrassed of being thinking about.

“We’ll help with the boxes.”

*

It was late that day when Daryl finally was able to be alone with Y/N. She was sat down next to him on the sofa, crosslegged and lying against the armrest, looking at him while she made him tell her everything about the run. She was sipping on that weird tea she liked, now there were more herbs growing in the pots in Alexandria, and so she had more to choose from, though usually she made her own strange mixes that Daryl wasn’t very tempted to try.

“I love those bracelets you got Jane and Dawn, those are really sweet,” Y/N said and Daryl nodded. He still hadn’t dared to give her what he had gotten for her, nerves were eating him. “And the one for Lisa is really great too.”

“Hmm, hmm…” He nodded again, fidgeting. Now or never. “Got…got you something too.”

“Yeah?” Y/N grinned. “I hope it’s another take no shit bracelet.” She chuckled.

“It ain’t…” Daryl chewed on his lip nervously before reaching into his pocket. “Here…”

He pushed a ring onto her hand, barely allowing her to see it before Y/N realized what was going on and picked it up. The ring was silver in color, and like everything that Daryl had found in that shop, it was engraved. It had an inscription on the inside that read “aways & forever”, and he was nervous as hell about giving it to her. Y/N wasn’t saying anything, just looking at the ring, seeming taken aback, turning it to read the inscription.

“I…uh…I…” Daryl tried to explain himself even though he was all flustered and couldn’t keep looking at her. “I…read that…I thought ‘bout what you used to say…that we always found each other…’cause we were meant to be…so…so yeah…saw it and…thought of you…” He trailed off, totally embarrassed, it was so corny, and yet it was true. Y/N was still saying nothing and Daryl didn’t know what to do, getting anxious. “If you don’t like it…if you don’t want it, that’s fine, you don’t have to…”

“It’s perfect,” Y/N finally said, voice so quiet that Daryl barely heard her, and when he looked at her, her eyes were wet. He really didn’t know what to do. “I love it, Daryl. It’s perfect.” Her eyes were focused on the ring as she twirled it, and then she was smiling. “Always, yes, that is…we were always meant to be, to find each other…and I want to be with you forever.” She finally looked up from the ring to him and Daryl could barely hold her gaze, almost feeling overcome by shyness and emotion at her words.

“I…I don’t even know if it fits you,” he murmured.

“Let’s see,” Still grinning, she took the ring and she went to place it on her ring finger but she stopped, looking at him. “Or do you want to?” She made to give him the ring, hesitantly, and Daryl looked at her nervously, he didn’t know what to do, and Y/N snorted quietly, shaking her head. “It’s okay, I can do it myself, it’s not hard or anything.”

“No, wait.” Daryl tried to stop feeling like an idiot and snatched the ring from her hand before carefully sliding it onto her ring finger, his own fingers trembling. “It’s too big,” he grumbled, disappointed.

“No, come on, it’s not…see, it doesn’t fall.” She moved her hand around. “It just wobbles a bit…I think I have another small ring I can put under it so it doesn’t move that much.”

“I’m sorry, I-”

“No, don’t.” Y/N stopped him. “It’s perfect, it is. I love it, and I love you.” She cupped his face to kiss his lips, and Daryl began to feel better. “I don’t even know how to tell you how happy it makes me.” She was grinning, even though her eyes were still wet. Daryl thought he got the idea but he didn’t know what to say, but then it didn’t seem he needed to say anything, because Y/N was kissing him again.

Y/N moved onto his lap without stopping kissing him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, and all his shyness and nerves left him slowly as they kissed. When he felt her hand sliding under his shirt, though, he stopped her, grabbing her hand.

“What?” She frowned, pulling away.

“Jane and Dawn are upstairs…” It was late, maybe they were already sleeping, he didn’t know, but he didn’t want to risk any of them walking into them making out, he’d probably die of embarrassment.

“Yeah…” Y/N pulled her hand away but leaned to kiss him again, before she got up from his lap. “Wanna come to the bedroom?” She asked as she reached out her hand and Daryl nodded, taking her hand and smiling a bit when he saw the ring on her finger. Y/N walked them up the stairs and into their room, closing the door behind them. She pulled at him to sit down on the bed and Daryl kicked off his boots before scooting up on the bed, sitting up against the headboard and watching Y/N as she began to undress.

Once she was done, Daryl reached out of her and Y/N took his hand, kneeling onto the bed next to him. For a moment, Daryl just looked at her, brushing his knuckles down her cheek while Y/N smiled softly at him, before running his fingers through her hair, pushing it away from her face and kissing her lips. Y/N kissed him back before she pulled back to undress him and she pushed him to sit back against the headboard again once she was done, straddling him. She trailed kisses across his neck, making him hum and close his eyes, and he felt her gasping against his neck when he cupped her breast.

He ran his hand down, caressing over her stomach before reaching between her legs, and he sushed Y/N when she let out a moan, he didn’t want to risk Jane or Dawn hearing from across the corridor, whether he was paranoid or not. He kept going, kissing her, feeling her panting against her lips, until she reached down and pulled his hand away. She pressed another kiss to his lips before looking at him, repositioning her hips and lowering down on him, letting out a moan, and Daryl had to bit his lip to stifle his own. She began rocking on his lap, panting, and Daryl kept her close to him, his arms wrapped around her, her arms wrapped tight around his shoulders too, nails digging into his skin.

Y/N tilted her head back, biting her lip as she let out soft whimpers, and Daryl placed kisses over her exposed neck before hiding his face on the crook of her shoulder, panting. One of her hands came to the back of his head, tangling on his hair, and he hummed against her shoulder, kissing her skin again, bitting into it gently to keep himself quiet as he felt closer and closer. He reached down between her legs again until Y/N arched against him, crying out as she exploded, but he couldn’t think about shushing her again because he was right there with her, muffling his groan against her neck as he came undone.

Daryl panted against her neck, brushing his hand up and down her back as Y/N’s body relaxed against him. He placed soft kisses and nibbles along her neck and eventually Y/N pulled back, giving him a dazzled smile before kissing his lips, her fingers still buried in his hair, stroking it. Daryl smiled at her once their lips parted, after all these years he was still in awe at how beautiful she was, how sweet, how she could love him like he loved her.

Keeping an arm securely around her, Daryl shifted on the mattress until he was lying down, Y/N tucked against his side, half lying over him, her head resting on his chest. Daryl closed his eyes, nuzzling her hair and running his fingers through it, before he began caressing her arm softly. He opened his eyes again when he heard her laughing quietly and saw her smiling at him in that way that always took his breath away at the love that he could see in her eyes. Then she was nuzzling into his neck, placing soft kisses over his skin until she reached his lips. She kissed him deeply before snuggling to him, reaching out her hand to look at her new ring.

“I love it.”

Daryl didn’t say anything, still shy about the whole thing, and he kissed the top of her head, caressing her arm and back softly, keeping her close to him. Always and forever…she wanted to be with him forever. Even after years together, he found himself in awe at her words, but it made him feel more grateful and happy than he could put into words. He tried, though, bringing her hand to his lips to kiss first the ring then her knuckles, before speaking.

“I mean it…what the ring says,” he whispered. “I’ve never been with anyone like with you, never feel like it…and I’ll be yours forever.”

Y/N pulled away to look at him and he forced himself not to look away, even if he was all shy and blushed, wanting to hide from her. Her eyes were wet but she was grinning in that way of hers, and then she leaned closer to kiss his lips again.

*

Daryl was out in the woods hunting when he heard some barking. He’d learned to stay away from feral dogs out there, especially if they went in packs, but he could also make some whines and the growls of walkers. He should turn away and leave, so he wouldn’t end up being walkers or dog food, or both, and yet…the dog kept whining and Daryl couldn’t help himself, rushing towards the sound.

It was just one dog, and not a grown-up, though he wasn’t a pup either. He had stepped on some sort of trap and now he was hanging from a tree with a rope around his ankle, barking and snapping at the group of walkers that were around him, trying to reach him. Daryl got his crossbow ready, putting down two walkers before they noticed he was there, and finished the others by knife.

Daryl approached the dog cautiously, but the pup didn’t snap at him, just whined again, struggling. Daryl held him in place and cut the rope with his knife, making sure the dog wouldn’t fall to the ground, and then carefully lowering him down. The dog tried to get up, whining when he tried to walk with the back leg that had been tied, and he lied down on the ground, whining and licking his ankle before trying to get up again.

“Come on, dog, stop…” Daryl carefully reached out his hand and the dog sniffed it before whining again. “Gotta be okay, you just need to rest…” Daryl stroked the dog’s head and he crawled closer. If only Hershel were there, the vet wound have known what to do. “We don’t have a vet in Alexandria but we got a nice doctor, Denise. I’m gonna take you to her, alright?” He stroked the dog’s fur again before getting up and the dog whined, trying to get up and go to him as if he thought Daryl was leaving.

“No, dog, wait, I ain’t leaving you here.” He carefully picked him up and the dog not only didn’t try to bite him, he actually tried to lick his face. “Stop it…” He grumbled, though he couldn’t help his smile, and he began walking, carrying the dog as best as possible. “Good thing you ain’t a grown-up yet, yeah? How big are you gonna get?” He hoped they didn’t find any more walkers on their way to Alexandria…

*

“They said you found a dog?!” Y/N seemed to come out of nowhere, out of breath as if she’d have run to there, while he waited outside of the infirmary.

“Yeah, Denise’s checking him, I think he’s fine, though.” As soon as he said that, the door opened and Denise walked out, carrying the dog, now with a bandage around his hurt ankle.

“He has a sprained ankle and is a bit dehydrated, but otherwise he’s going to be fine.”

“Oh, he’s so cute!” Y/N squealed, rushing to Denise and the pup and stroking his head. The pup began wiggling his tail, trying to lick Y/N’s face, who grinned wider and turned to look at Daryl. “We’re keeping him right?”

Daryl hadn’t really thought about what to do with the dog, but well…he was cute indeed, and seemed to like him and Y/N even more…and he’d found him after all. “Yeah, yeah, sure.” Y/N grinned even more, moving to kiss his cheek. “Come on, dog, let’s go home.” Denise carefully passed him the dog, who began wiggling his tail again, trying to lick his face…damn, he really liked that dog.

“I’ll keep checking on him these days, but he should be back on his feet in a couple of days,” Denise said, petting the dog’s head. “He’s going to be a star in Alexandria, I’m telling you.”

It seemed Denise had been right, during that afternoon, person after person kept coming to their place to see the dog, who Daryl had placed on a cushion on the floor, next to some water and food he had made him, and the dog happily accepted every pet, wiggling his tail at everyone.

Jane seemed to be over the moon with the dog, she’d dragged a blanket to sit down next to the dog so he wouldn’t be alone on the ground, and now he was lying with his head on Jane’s lap while she petted him.

“We can’t just call him dog…”

“Why no?” Daryl asked

“Because that’s not a name, that’s…that’s what he is! It’s like if I call you person!”

Daryl snorted. “Then how do you wanna call him?”

“I don’t know…I’ll think about it.”

The dog ended up being called that, Dog. Everyone who came to visit him called him that, and Daryl guessed it stuck. In a few days, Dog was good as new, and he spent the days running around Alexandria, making people happy and playing with Jane and Dawn. He liked to go outside too, and so Daryl took him hunting with him, and soon Dog proved himself useful, telling him when walkers were around.

A couple of months later, Daryl was sat down one morning on the swing at the porch, watching Jane and Dawn playing with Dog. Y/N walked out of the house and sat down next to him on the swing. She kissed his cheek and he wrapped an arm around her, nuzzling into her hair and kissing her temple before looking at the girls and the dog again.

“Remember when you threw me off Robert’s swing?” Y/N chuckled.

“I didn’t throw you, the swing moved and you fell.” Daryl smirked.

“I wanted to kiss you so bad…” Y/N smiled dreamily at him and after all those years, Daryl found himself blushing.

“Me too…” He looked away shyly but Y/N cupped his face to peck his lips.

“I always wanted a dog,” Y/N said, snuggling to him. “Never thought I’d get to have one.”

“Yeah, me neither.” He chuckled, pulling her closer, watching Dog running to greet Rick and Michonne who came with Judith, she liked to play with Dog too, just like Gracie, a girl around Judith’s age, who Aaron and him had found as a baby outside on one of their runs, and who Aaron and Eric had adopted.

“Dog!” Judith was calling. “Dog!”

“Come on, let’s say hi.” Y/N got up, taking his hand, and they walked together to greet his family, no matter they seemed more interested in Dog. Daryl had to admit it, he had never thought he’d get to have this life, not even before the dead walked, and he didn’t think he’d stop being grateful for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we got a ring and we got Dog, and there’s another time jump with another surprise in the next chapter. 
> 
> If you liked it and have a moment, please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	26. Chapter 26

“You excited about this fair thing?” Daryl asked to the baby in his arms, who babbled a yes, grinning in that way of his that always had Daryl smiling like an idiot. “Yeah? I ain’t sure myself…”

Almost six years had passed since Alexandria began trading with the Kingdom and the Hilltop, and for some reason, Ezekiel had decided he wanted to hold a fair that year. Daryl didn’t think it made much sense, they all traded anyway, but apparently, he wanted some kind of big event, like with stalls of people selling things or teaching stuff, or games, music, or whatnot…It sounded all strange to Daryl, and he didn’t know what to expect. He was going anyway, with a group of people from Alexandria, and so was Hilltop.

There were lots of people excited about it, including Y/N and Jane, they’d been talking about it and planning it for days. And the baby in his arms seemed to be excited about it too, even if Daryl was sure the kid didn’t know what was going on.

The baby…his son.

Daryl looked at him, his lips curling up into another smile. He still couldn’t believe it. He had never thought he’d have a son, in all his life. He was grateful enough he’d had the chance to take care of Jane as his own, and then, about a year and a half ago, Y/N and he had a boy too.

Daryl had been terrified for months, couldn’t help himself, even if he knew Alexandria was safe, even if they had been safe for all those years. He was terrified of something happening to Y/N, no matter Maggie, Michonne, and some other women had had kids too without any problem. He was terrified of him not being good enough for the baby too, even if Jane hadn’t ever complained and seemed happy enough. Y/N had been worried about the safety of the baby at first too, he knew, even if she tried not to make him worry.

But everything had been okay, they were still safe, Y/N and the baby were fine and healthy, neither of them two nor Jane seemed to think he was an awful father, although Daryl still woke up some nights wondering if everything was not a dream, wondering how he’d gotten so lucky to have not only found Y/N again, but also have two kids with her, because she loved him as he loved her, and Daryl couldn’t wrap his mind around it, but by now he’d learned to not overthink it and just enjoy it.

Y/N had wanted to let him name the kid, but Daryl had never been good at names, never had thought he’d have to name a kid, much less one of his own, didn’t think he could come up with something good, and so he’d let Jane and Dawn decide it. After saying no to some more than stupid names, in his opinion, like Sherlock or Poirot, the girls had finally come up with Deacon, and it sounded good enough for Daryl.

“Mom! Sis! Dog!” Deacon’s babbles took Daryl from his thoughts and he saw Y/N and Jane walking to him, while Dog ran to them, being the first one to reach them, jumping and trying to lick the kid, who giggled.

“Dog! Stop it!” Daryl grumbled, though he was smiling too.

“Hi, sweetheart.” Y/N picked up Deacon, who was reaching for her, and then she leaned to peck Daryl’s lips. “Everything is ready to go.”

“Okay.”

“Remember you told me you would take me with you on the bike, dad,” Jane reminded him, and Daryl was once again surprised to realize she was almost as tall as Y/N now.

“Yeah, you got everything ready?”

“My bag is in the cart,” she nodded. “With the rest of the stuff.”

They were taking some carts with them, they had been going everywhere in horses for a couple of years now, gas was almost impossible to find anymore, and the strange fuel that Eugine made was enough for the Hilltop’s tractor, Daryl’s bike, and not much else. They were bringing part of the harvest with them, some baked goods, deer meat from a buck Daryl had hunted yesterday and got ready so they could take it all to the fair, and also stuff that people made by hand, all sort of trinkets and whatnot, that they could trade for something else.

“Okay, come on then.” Daryl nodded at Jane before reaching to ruffle Deacon’s hair, smiling at Y/N. “We’ll see you there, be careful, alright?”

“You two be careful too.” Y/N leaned to kiss Daryl’s cheek and then Jane’s. Daryl knew Y/N trusted him to take Jane and himself safely to the Kingdom, but still, she worried when they went out, he did too. “Carol said that they had a group of people making sure the roads to the Kingdom are safe, no walkers or anything like that. They’re called the mountain men or something like that.”

“Sounds promising,” Daryl snorted. “Okay, let’s go.”

“When did you say are you going to teach me to ride?” Jane asked as they walked to his bike.

“When we got your bike ready.” He’d been taking to Alexandria every car and bike piece that he deemed useful, and teaching Jane how to build one, telling her he’d teach her to ride. She seemed excited about it, and she was doing fairly well at putting the bike together with his help.

“Or you could teach me to ride on yours.”

“Yeah…let’s focus on finishing the bike first.”

*

The fair was nothing like Daryl had ever seen before, nothing like he was expecting. Ezekiel and Carol had really done an incredible job, he had to admit it. The whole Kingdom was decorated with pennants and whatnot, and there were stalls everywhere with people selling stuff but also teaching things.

Denise had stayed at Alexandria, but there was a medical stall where Siddiq, Carl, and Enid where teaching medical stuff to anyone interested. Diane, one of the Kingdom’s guards, seemed to be teaching kids how to shot a bow. Rosita and Lisa were giving tips on how to fight walkers and use different kinds of knives. He saw also Maggie, teaching people how to ride a horse, while Glenn and little Hershel looked at her, waving at him and Jane when they saw them.

“Maggie can teach you how to ride instead of me, just change the bike for a horse,” he joked, ruffling Jane’s hair in that way that made her huff.

“Well, I think she probably rides horses better than you bikes, so…” Jane joked back, sticking her tongue out.

“Take it back, girl, I’m the best damn rider you know.”

“Kind of the only…” He snickered, yelping when he tickled her side in revenge.

“Uncle Daryl! Jane!”

Daryl heard Judith’s voice and smiled when he saw Judith rushing to him, followed by Gracie. The two girls, Rick, Michonne, RJ, and Aaron had left earlier than him.

“Hey sweetheart, are you okay?” He asked, and Judith nodded. Maggie was right, she looked a bit like Lori as she grew up, even if her personality was a mix of Rick’s and Michonne’s that surprised even Daryl. “Where’re your parents and your brother?”

“They’re with Jerry, meeting his new kid, but we saw him already so we’re looking at the stalls.”

“Oh yeah, he got another kid.” Daryl had seriously lost count of how many kids Jerry had by now…three? Four? Nah, he was pretty sure it was three, like Rick and Michonne…or had he four? There were so many kids in all their communities, he could see some of them having fun at the fair. He’d never thought he’d see something like that, that they’d be able to have so many kids safe and sound…it made him worry, he needed to do everything he could to make sure those kids were okay, everybody did, but at the same time, he had to admit it made him happy.

“Jane, there’s a stall with books! Do you want to come to see it with us?” Gracie grinned at Jane.

“Really? Sure, wait until Dawn arrives too…look, there they are.” Jane pointed at the cart as it rode into the Kingdom, they had been close behind them, Daryl wouldn’t have dared to ride too far from them in case they were assaulted or encountered walkers, not with his family on it. “Dawn! There’s a stall with books! Come on! Let’s see if we can trade something…I’ll tell you if there’s any book you might like, mom!”

“Okay…” Y/N smiled, though she seemed as surprised and confused as Daryl had felt when he arrived. “Be careful.” She got off the cart, Deacon on her arms, babbling excitedly as he looked around, and Dog jumped out of the cart too, barking and greeting Daryl and Jane.

“See you later!” Jane said, petting Dog before walking away with Dawn, following Gracie and Judith, and Daryl was glad that Dog decided to go with them, that way he’d worry less about the girls, even if the Kingdom had always been safe.

“This is…woah…” Y/N looked around, eyes wide at the fair display.

“It is.” Daryl nodded, picking up Deacon and kissing the top of his head before wrapping his arm around Y/N, pulling her to him. “Look, royalty is coming to greet us,” he joked when he saw Carol and Ezekiel walking to them.

“Welcome to the fair!” Ezekiel greeted them. Shiva was with him, and as soon as Deacon saw her, he began babbling her name and trying to reach for her, so Daryl knelt down so the kid could pet the friendly’s tiger head for a moment.

“Ezekiel, this is…this is impressive…I can’t believe it…” Y/N said in awe, still looking around.

“I can’t believe it either.” Carol chuckled. “Wait until you watch a movie this evening…this one’s going to love it, right, sweetheart?” she said as she grinned at Deacon. A movie? Was she for real? Daryl looked at Y/N, who seemed as surprised as him. “He’s taking after Daryl, isn’t him?” Carol asked, nodding at Deacon, and Daryl wasn’t sure if she was kidding or not.

“Yes, yes, I think so too! It’s not only the eyes!” Y/N grinned as if that were something good, and Daryl didn’t know what to say. “How’s Henry?”

“Oh, he’s great…tall. Wants to go to the Hilltop and learn how to be a blacksmith.”

“Though he might rethink that now that he’s gotten himself a girlfriend.” Ezekiel laughed.

“Or he can take Lydia with him…don’t use that to keep Henry here just so you don’t have to miss him.” Carol pocked at Ezekiel’s side, smirking.

“Who’s Lydia?”

“A girl we found in the woods, with his father. They were running away from Lydia’s mother, and by what they said, she sounded like an abusive piece of shit,” Carol spat, her smile gone. “They’re having a hard time adapting here, after what that bitch did to them, and she never let them be with another group or more people…I’ll introduce you to them later.”

“That sounds…I don’t even know.” Y/N shook her head, eyes sad, and Daryl squeezed her to his side, kissing the top of her head.

“They’re doing better now, Henry’s being really helpful,” Ezekiel said.

“Oh, yeah, he’s helping Lydia a lot.” Carol chuckled.

“Come on, we’ll show you everything before the show starts,” Ezekiel gestured to them to follow them.

“Show?”

“Yeah, people singing, playing instruments, anything they can do. It’s was Luke’s idea.”

“He’s from that group Judith found, right?” Daryl asked. He’d been outside Alexandria one day with Dawn and Jane so they’d practice ther tracking and hunting, but that day Rick and Judith had decided to join them too. There’d been some commotion, voices screaming, and before they could do anything, Judith had rushed to the sound, scaring the shit out of them.

They had found a group of people in trouble, a guy, Luke, and four women, Connie, Kelly, Yumiko, and Magna. They had helped them get rid of the walkers chasing them, and they had taken them to Alexandria after the usual questioning. They seemed good people, who had lost their settlement, and after a couple of days in Alexandria, they’d moved to the Hilltop to help Maggie with the harvest.

“Yes, the music teacher,” Ezekiel said. “Can play any instrument. Great man.”

“I want to talk to Connie, we’ve been learning sign language with a book Daryl found, I want to ask her if I’m doing it well…Daryl learns so much faster than me, though. Sometimes it’s annoying that he’s this smart.” Y/N half complained teasingly and Daryl huffed, blushing.

“I’m sure we’ll find her around, now come on, there’s a lot to see,” Ezekiel said, and Daryl followed him and Carol as they showed them everything, holding Deacon with one arm while he wrapped the other around Y/N’s shoulder.

*

A couple of hours later, Daryl had left Y/N with Maggie and Glenn, saying he wanted to check a stall with some car parts, and that he’d be back soon, while they also went to see some stalls they were interested in. It wasn’t a lie, he wanted to check it, but he was more interested in something else, and he made his way to the stall where Earl, the blacksmith from Hilltop, was working. Y/N had seemed confused as to why he wanted to go alone, but she hadn’t said anything. She gave him time when she felt he needed to be alone, but it wasn’t the case now, and Daryl hoped he hadn’t made her think something was wrong.

“Hey, Daryl, looking for arrowheads? I made a batch before coming.” Earl greeted, hammering at a lance.

“How’s the little one doing?” Tammy Rose, Ear’ls wife, asked him while he examined everything that Earl had made, mostly stuff for harvesting but also some nice looking weapons. He really was a good blacksmith, most of the community’s weapons were from him, including his knives.

“He’s great, he’s with Y/N now, down there.”

“I’ll make sure go greet him later.”

“So, what’s going to be? Or just looking?” Earl asked.

“I uh…wanted to ask…” Daryl fidgeted, he didn’t know why it made him so shy. “If maybe…could you…I ain’t sure it’s possible…but, could you resize a ring? Like, make it smaller?” Y/N still wore the one he’d given her with another smaller one, so it wouldn’t fall down.

“Oh, you got a special ring you want to give Y/N with you?” Tammy Rose said, grinning as she looked at Earl.

“No, actually…” Daryl ran a hand through his hair, awkward. “I gave her one already, years ago, but it’s a bit bigger…so…yeah, can you resize it?”

“Well…that depends on the ring, the material, and some other things,” Earl explained. “I wouldn’t want to ruin it. I can’t say without seeing it, but make it smaller is easier than bigger.”

“Alright…alright, thanks.” Daryl frowned…he hadn’t thought how he was going to manage to bring him the ring, he guessed he had to tell Y/N his idea, even if for some reason it made him shy. It wouldn’t be a surprise, but at least the ring might get resized for her. “I’ll bring it later, thank you.”

Daryl went looking for Y/N, following some music that had just begun. There was an improvised stage, and Luke with another guy was playing some song Daryl didn’t know. Y/N was there, watching them and swinging from side to side with Deacon on her arms, and Daryl couldn’t help his smile looking at them.

“Hey,” He wrapped his arms around Y/N from behind, hugging her to his chest, and Y/N turned her head to smile at him, kissing his cheek.

“Daddy,” Deacon grinned, reaching out his hand to tug at his hair, making him wince, before the baby let it go, giggling as he watched the people on the stage, seeming to truly enjoy the music as he babbled something Daryl couldn’t catch, wiggling his arms with the music. Damn, his kid was pretty cute, if Daryl might say so himself.

“You came back in time for the show,” Y/N said, nodding at the stage. “You found what you were looking for?”

“No…well, yeah…” Daryl stuttered, and Y/N frowned at him. Yeah, better just spit it out and ruin the surprise before she worried…no that he had planned it as a surprise…it had just sprung to his mind when they saw a handmade jewelry stall and then he saw Earl’s stall, he hadn’t thought about it before. “Can I have your ring? The one I gave you?”

“Is this your way of breaking up with me? Because that’s pretty lame.” Y/N joked, arching an eyebrow at him.

“No, no, it ain’t that…I’ve been talking to Earl, he might be able to resize it for you.”

“Really?” Y/N grinned. “That’d be great!”

“He ain’t sure, but we can try.”

“Okay, I don’t know why I didn’t think about it before!” Y/N leaned to peck his lips. “Just…another song and then we will go, okay?”

“We can just go when this finishes.” There was no hurry, and if Y/N liked the music, they could just stay there for the whole thing.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask you to dance with me.” Y/N giggled, swinging softly on his arms, her back pressed against his chest, humming the song, singing quietly the words she caught.

“Thanks.” Daryl chuckled, kissing the top of her head, allowing her to rock side to side while Deacon still seemed to love the music, babbling as if he were singing something too. It seemed he hadn’t taken his shyness but his mom’s love for singing. “Did you see something you liked?”

“There’s a lot of cool stuff here, still can’t believe it.” Y/N said. “And…well…I got an idea…”

“Yeah? What?”

“Maybe you’ll think it’s silly…” Y/N glanced at him, looking unsure, and Daryl frowned.

“What?”

“Well…do you remember those paintings we saw before? Like, they had that pretty Carol portrait?” Y/N asked

“Yeah,” It had portraits of people he knew and people that he didn’t, landscapes, animals, and Daryl had been impressed at how good all they looked. Maggie had one of Beth and it was just exactly like her sister, which was even more incredible considering the painter had never met her.

“I was thinking…they’re going to make another for Maggie, Hershel this time, she’s now there giving them the details, and she’ll come back to pick it up once it’s ready,” Y/N explained and Daryl still didn’t know what that had to do with them. “So I was thinking…since we don’t have pictures anymore…I think I’d like it if maybe we could have one done for us too…like, you and me, with Jane and Deacon…you know…But I know maybe it’s silly…so if you think it’s silly…it’s okay if you don’t feel like it…”

It took Daryl by surprise. He’d have never thought of anything like that. He had never been one for pictures or anything like that. But if it made Y/N happy, then yeah, he’d do it, even if it made him kind of shy. Y/N had turned to look at him, seeming nervous, so Daryl kicked himself into speaking.

“Alright…alright.” He nodded.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to if-”

“No, I’m sure, if you want it, then we’ll do it.” Just seeing Y/N grin as she did was a good enough reward, and she leaned to kiss his lips until Deacon decided to tug at Daryl’s hair again and Y/N moved away, giggling at it before looking back at the stage, humming the song, singing softly.

“Why you don’t talk to Luke and sing too?”

“What?” Y/N turned to look at him, seeming confused.

“You sing better than that guy.” Daryl nodded at the stage. “And you like to sing, you’re a singer so why not?”

“I don’t know…” Y/N chewed on her lip, seeming shy, and Daryl couldn’t help but find it funny, snorting quietly.

“You’re embarrassed? Really? When you worked singing in a strip club with way fewer clothes than you’re wearing now?” He teased and Y/N pocked his belly but she chuckled too.

“Yeah but…almost no one here knows I used to be a singer…and I haven’t sung since I left that club…”

Daryl arched an eyebrow at her. “You sing at home and at the pantry all day, you sing to Deacon every day and he loves it.”

“It’s not the same…I haven’t sung in public and on a stage since the club…”

“Well, you’ll have a better audience here.” Daryl snorted. “But even in that club, everyone liked to listen to you…”

“Nothing to do with the fact that I sang in underwear…” Y/N scoffed and Daryl tried not to smirk but he couldn’t.

“Not only that…come on, even Merle went to listen to you singing, everyone knew you had a beautiful voice. I did, that first time I listened to you singing, told you, that’s the first thing of you I noticed, that you had a nice voice and sang good…well, and also that you were kind of pretty…” It was his turn to blush now, looking down, but he didn’t miss the way in which Y/N looked at him as she smiled sweetly, leaning to kiss his cheek, and Daryl dodged Deacon’s hands just in time before he decided he might want to tug at his hair again.

“I don’t know…” Y/N kept chewing on her lip, seeming unsure, but she was looking at the stage with longing eyes.

“If you want to, then what you care what people think.” Daryl kissed the top of her head. “Besides, they’re going to love it.”

Y/N still seemed unsure, but her lips curled into a shy smile and she looked at him. “Okay…okay…” She nodded, nervous, but her smile just grew wider and Daryl couldn’t help his own. She passed him Deacon, who didn’t seem to mind it, babbling “dad” to Daryl as he held him, before focusing his attention on the stage again.

Between songs, Daryl saw Y/N talking to Luke, and judging by the man’s grin, he seemed to welcome Y/N’s help, and as they kept talking Daryl guessed they were deciding what songs they could play and sing. Y/N kept glancing at him nervously, and when she finally walked onto the stage with Luke, she seemed shy while Luke talked and introduced her as Y/N from Alexandria.

When she began singing, though, it was like she transformed, like she used to do at the club, and Daryl was sure everyone could feel how much she loved to sing just looking at her. She was good, really good, he already knew it, but she looked so happy too. Damn, he needed to find her excuses to sing like that again, maybe Ezekiel could do fairs or any other event more often.

Deacon was wiggling excitedly on his arms looking at his mother singing, babbling and laughing, and Daryl tore his eyes away from Y/N to look at his kid. “Yeah, your momma is really good, ain’t her? Best singer I ever knew and the prettiest.”

He was sure Deacon agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know some of you were wishing for another kid, so there he is! Named after the main character of the videogame Days Gone, a post apocalyps zombie killer biker.
> 
> Can you imagine now I introduce the whisperers and kill everyone in the fair? I won’t, I promise! No whisperers!
> 
> If you liked it and have a moment, please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


	27. Chapter 27

Y/N had finished the song and started a new one, encouraged by Luke, when Daryl heard a bark and then Dog was jumping to greet him and Deacon, Jane approaching them too. She’d been walking through the fair with Dawn and hanging out with some of the other teens, but Daryl guessed she’d been near and had recognized her mother’s voice, and came to see if it was her. She spotted him and made her way to him.

“Sis!” Deacon babbled happily.

“I know she’s good but I’m always surprised at how good when she sings,” Jane said, looking at the stage.

“Yeah, me too.” Daryl chuckled.

“It was like this? When she worked as a singer?”

Kind of, but with fewer clothes and more pervert drunks…not that Daryl was going to say that. “Yeah…first time I hear her singing I was surprised, she even managed to make my brother shut up while she sang, and get Merle to shut up ain’t no easy thing…” All those years, and there was that pang of sadness when he thought about his brother, even if he’d been an ass.

Jane chuckled before going serious. “I always thought…it’s sad, that she didn’t get to work as a singer at the city…I mean, she was more than good enough yet she didn’t make it, it’s not fair…”

“Yeah…” Daryl agreed, always had.

“Maybe she should have stayed in your town, she could have kept working as a singer in that club she worked.”

“Darlin’, that club was shit and no place for working.” Daryl scoffed without giving much detail, and Jane just hummed.

“Sometimes…sometimes I thought…” Jane chewed on her lip in the same way Y/N did. “Promise me you won’t tell her, okay?” Daryl frowned, wondering what was going on, but nodded. “Sometimes I think that maybe…well, I know she loves me, okay? But…maybe if she hadn’t had me, she could have focused on working as a singer…you know…” Daryl was taken aback. He’d never heard Jane say anything like that, and in all those years, he had never imagined that Jane might think something like that.

“What?” He didn’t even know what to say and Jane just shrugged. “No, no come on, stop that shit. She’d stopped singing years before she had you, so it ain’t that, it ain’t cos of you…if anything, she kept singing ‘cause she sang to you. Told me so herself.” Jane smiled softly, but she still looked sad and Daryl didn’t know what to do, he hated it. “It’s true…stop thinking bullshit…”

“Yeah…okay, but still…she had to raise me alone, she had to work a lot…wasn’t easy, I’m sure now…” She trailed off, shrugging.

Daryl was totally out of his depth and he didn’t know what to do or what to say…wasn’t Jane too young to be thinking about shit like that…he guessed not. “Look…I…” He kicked himself into saying anything. “Yeah, sure it was hard, but your momma told me herself how much happier you made her, only thing that made her life at the city worthy, wouldn’t trade it for nothing, told me herself how much she loved you. Still does. You and your brother? Best thing she got.”

Jane’s eyes were wet and Daryl was totally panicking, but then she was smiling too and nodding. “Yeah…I know all that, just…” She shrugged. “When I was little, before Alexandria, mom looked so tired most evenings, and sometimes she looked so sad too, though not if she realized I was looking… just…wish things would have been less hard for her.”

“You and me both…” Daryl murmured.

“If you had been with us back then, things would have been different for sure.” Jane shrugged.

“Ain’t sure, I was kind of an idiot asshole back then.” Daryl joked, glad it made Jane snort, though he kind of meant it. He knew that back then he wasn’t the man he was now. But Jane was right, if he’d been with her and Y/N back then, he’d have done everything on his hand to make it less hard for her.

If Jane’s idiot of a biological father hadn’t disappeared and had been there to help, things probably would have been less hard too. But Daryl couldn’t help how glad he was at the guy not being in the picture, even if he knew it was selfish on his side, even if he felt guilty he thought like that, he couldn’t help it.

“You make mom happy. Always have. She told me so, when you first came to Alexandria, I remember she used to talk about you, and she was sad when she did it sometimes, but she also smiled. So it was like I already knew you.” Jane chewed on her lip again, and it was Daryl’s time to blush now. “And…I didn’t give it much thought when I was little…but you not only took care of me, you took me as your own, has treated me like that since then, and you didn’t have to, not like you did, not even if you were with my mother…and now I know how grateful I’m that you did, and I never said thank you but it’s just cause it feels like-”

“No, come on, stop it, stop with that…” Daryl stopped Jane before she could say anything else, blushed up to his ears, feeling a lump of emotion on his throat. Jane didn’t have to thank him for anything. She was his kid, what the hell mattered if she wasn’t his blood, he loved her, and he’d done just his job taking care of her, she’d never have to thank him for something like that. Kids shouldn’t be thanking their parents for doing what was their damn job “What’s gotten into you.”

“Nothing, just…” Jane shrugged. “Being talking with Henry for a bit, you know Ezekiel then Carol took him as their own too…so, I guess…I don’t know, got me thinking I guess…” She chuckled awkwardly but it got Daryl thinking too. Most of the teens there didn’t have their biological parents anymore, but they had found families anyway. It was good, but still, Daryl hoped no more kids would lose their parents anymore.

“You met that new girl, Lydia?” He asked, and Jane nodded. “How’s she?”

“She’s…she’s not used to all of this, she seems overwhelmed, but she’s good, just…just sad and traumatized,” Jane said and Daryl hummed, nodding. “Dawn and I, we are thinking about coming to see her sometimes, is that okay?”

Henry was a couple of years older than them or so, but still they used to hang out together when they went to the Kingdom since they were kids, and Daryl knew they got along. Maybe they could do some good for Lydia too.

“Yeah, sure.” Daryl nodded. “Now come on, stop with the nonsense, your mom’s singing and we’re missing it.” He wrapped his arm around Jane’s shoulders, holding Deacon with just one arm and trying not to snort when the kid reached to tug at her sister’s hair as he did to him.

* 

Daryl hadn’t gone to the cinema much, or anything, and in this world, he had never thought he would. Yet there he was, in a theater, snacks and all, seeing a cartoon movie that he didn’t know how Ezekiel and Carol had managed to get working. Everyone was laughing, seeming to be having the time of their life, and Daryl had to admit he loved to see his people happy like that. Jane and Dawn were sat down near them with Henry and a girl Daryl guessed was Lydia, who seemed out of place as Jane had said, but as the movie went, she began smiling too.

Deacon was loving it, eyes wide as he watched the cartoons, babbling and saying all the little words he knew, wiggling his arms as he jumped excitedly on Daryl’s lap, looking at him from time to time to babble something and point at the movie, and Daryl couldn’t help his silly smile. Y/N was smiling too, watching the movie almost as wide-eyed as Deacon.

“I can’t believe this day is real…” She whispered, leaning her head on his shoulder, and Daryl kissed the side of her head and wrapped his arm around her. He couldn’t either, it was like the Kingdom had managed to pull some magic trick, and he was glad he’d come with his family.

*

By dinner time, quite late in the evening, Y/N’s ring was resized, Earl had been able to do it without a problem, and now it fitted her perfectly. She was looking at it from time to time, smiling in that way, like the first time he gave it to her, and Daryl couldn’t help the butterflies in his belly every time she did it. She smiled too, anytime she glanced at his.

Daryl didn’t know how, but he had ended up with another ring for himself. He would have never gotten one himself, but Earl had asked, and Y/N had looked at him, seeming unsure, and Daryl wasn’t sure of what she wanted but he knew he didn’t want to disappoint her.

He wasn’t even sure himself of why he had gotten her the ring years ago. To show that she was his? She was, in a way, but she wasn’t a thing he could own, neither was that his intention, neither to show her off like cattle. He neither thought she’d need the ring to know what she meant for him, that he was hers forever, as long as she wanted him. And yet, when he had seen the ring, he had wanted to get it for her…wanted her to have a ring that he’d given her…

So maybe Y/N would like him to have one too? Another way to show that they were together. He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure either of what it meant, he hadn’t asked her anything when he gave her that ring, he didn’t know if for her it meant that they were married or something like that, and he had always felt too shy to ask. He hadn’t ever given much thought to marriage, and in any case, he and Y/N loved each other and were together, no need to hold any ceremony or anything, or call it something.

Daryl had found himself nodding at Earl, still confused, but Y/N had smiled and that was good, yeah, it was worthy. He was worried the ring would be bothering him all the time, but Earl seemed to read his mind and he knew what he was doing. In just some minutes he had made him a ring that was just a simple, thin thread of metal that he could barely feel, didn’t bother him when he clenched his fist or moved his fingers.

“We’re matching now,” Y/N had said quietly as they walked away from the stall, smiling softly and reaching to hold his hand, lifting it. “Thank you.” She had brought his hand to her lips, kissing his knuckles, and not knowing what to say he’d done the same to her.

They had talked with the painter too, and she’d do a sketch tomorrow to start working on their paint once she cleared her other requests. It still felt weird to him, but it made Y/N so happy, he’d push through any awkwardness.

While the woman was talking to Y/N, she’d called Daryl her husband, and Y/N hadn’t even flinched at it, even if it had startled Daryl a bit at hearing it so casually, but then, when they were leaving and the painter had called Y/N his wife, he hadn’t thought about correcting her. She was…she was his something, something deeper than he could ever explain, something deeper than any word. And he kind of liked how wife sounded.

Jane and Dawn joined them for dinner, and they showed them what they had gotten from the fair.

“Do you really need more books?” Daryl asked Jane teasingly when she showed him the couple she had gotten. “Thought we had enough in Alexandria.”

“You never have enough books!” Jane answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“She’s right.” Aaron nodded, taking one to inspect it.

“Actually, I love that one!” Y/N pointed at the book.

“I know you did, mom, I remembered you used to read it to me…I don’t remember it anymore, but I recognized the cover so I traded it for some necklaces I hadn’t worn in years.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Y/N smiled. “What else you got, girls.”

“These.” Dawn showed them some little wooden tags with some patterns carved in them, and also a letter. There was a D, J, and L, for Dawn, Jane, and Lisa, Daryl guessed. “A woman from Hilltop makes them, she has really beautiful things, most of them are H for Hilltop, but she made us that.”

“Also got one for you, mom, and for dad, Deacon and Robert.”

“Thanks, sunshine.” Daryl took the one Jane passed him, smiling. It had a cord, and he tied it around his wrist, making sure he wouldn’t lose it.

Another thing he’d have never thought about getting but that made him happier than he could have ever thought. He took the one for Deacon, who was sat down on his lap, and placed it loosely around his neck. He seemd to like it, grabbing the wooden tag and playing with it.

There was a long table set for the kids at the end of the one Daryl was sitting, but Deacon was still too little. Glancing at the kids table, Daryl was once again surprised at how many kids there was there. They had quite a few in Alexandria by now, but seeing most of the kids of the communities sitting together…he never thought he’d see so many kids in this world, much less happy ones.

“How we’ve ended up with so many kids?” He murmured to Y/N.

“Do I have to explain you how? Just think how we ended up with Deacon.” She giggled and Daryl snorted. “But yeah…I know what you mean…all these years ago, when the world went to shit…yeah, I’d have never imagined we would get to have something like that.” She smiled softly and Daryl nodded, leaning to kiss the side of her head.

“Me neither.”

Y/N bit her lip, smiling, and she looked at him. “Wanna hear some gossip?” She whispered and Daryl arched an eyebrow at her, confused. “Rosita’s pregnant, but shh, almost nobody knows yet.”

“Yeah? Father Grabiels’ gonna be an actual father.” Daryl snorted quietly.

“It’s not his, it’s Siddiqs.”

“What?” Daryl said, almost too loud, and Y/N shushed him.

“I know…”

“Who needs tv when you have a damn soap opera going two streets away from your house,” he joked, and Y/N giggled quietly.

When the dinner finished Ezekiel and Carol approached them. “Y/N, all these years and I didn’t know you were a singer!” Ezekiel said, seeming impressed.

“Well…I wouldn’t call myself a singer…” Y/N shrugged, blushing.

“But she is,” Jane said.

“Yeah, worked as a singer when I met her.” Daryl nodded too.

“And then I got a real job…” Y/N chuckled awkwardly. “I hadn’t sang like that in…I don’t know, more than twenty years.

“Then maybe it’s time to change that,” Ezekiel smiled. “I really enjoyed listening to you.”

“Thank you…” Y/N smiled, even though she was blushing even more, and Daryl reached under the table to held her hand. “I really had a great time, I’d almost forgotten how much I liked it.”

“Then more reason to do it again! I’m sure we will be doing more events like that…and the fair doesn’t end until tomorrow’s night, so if you want to sing again tomorrow, I’m sure Luke will be up to do another show.”

“We were leaving in the morning, I think…” Y/N looked at him and Daryl didn’t know what to say, unsure if it was her not wanting to sing, or her asking if they could stay longer. “Well, I think about it…”

“That’s all I can ask for!” Ezekiel squeezed Y/N’s shoulder.

*

Daryl was walking around the room Ezekiel and Carol had given Y/N and him for the night, Deacon on his arms, as he tried to talk him into sleeping, while Y/N was sat against the headboard of the bed, reading the book Jane had gotten her. Jane and Dawn were sharing a room with other teens, seemed quite happy about sleepovers even if they weren’t that little anymore. Dog was with them, and so Daryl could relax knowing he’ll make sure they were okay.

When finally the kid began to close his eyes, Daryl lowered him carefully in the smaller bed he’d pushed against the one Y/N and him were sleeping in, and then he sat down next to Y/N, lying down to rest his head on her lap. She smiled, reaching to leave the book on the nightstand, and then she began to play with his hair.

“It’s the book interesting?” He asked quietly, closing his eyes as her fingers stroke his hair.

“Very. I’ll read it to you one night.”

“Okay.” He opened his eyes to look at her. “What do you want to do tomorrow? We don’t have to leave in the morning if you want to sing again, or just if you want to stay at the fair longer. The painter told us to go tomorrow morning anyway.”

“Sure you don’t mind staying?”

“Nah…we could leave later, or we can stay for another night, I’m sure Ezekiel and Carol won’t mind, and Jane and Dawn would like it. They can live in Alexandria without us for another day.”

“Okay…this is starting to feel like holidays.” She chuckled softly, smiling.

“You’re gonna sing again tomorrow?”

Y/N bit her lip as she smiled, and she nodded. “I think so…I…I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would.”

“I could see that. You looked happy, Ezekiel’s right, you should sing more…I liked it, everyone did. Told you how good you are.” She was, and everybody enjoyed watching her sing, he did too, but what Daryl cared most was how happy Y/N looked how she did, how much she seemed to enjoy it.

“Stop it…” Y/N whispered, blushing and placing a finger over his lips, and Daryl nipped playfully at it before taking his hand and kissing her palm.

Daryl shifted from Y/N’s lap to lie down on the bed, head on the pillow now, and he stretched his arm, waiting for Y/N to come curl up with him. She turned off the lantern, leaving the room dimly ilimunated by a small candle, and then she snuggled to him, laying over his chest. Daryl wrapped his arm around her, brushing his fingers softly over her arm.

“I still can’t believe this day,” Y/N whispered, and Daryl nodded his agreement. “I don’t know how Ezekiel and Carol have been able to pull up all this, and everyone had brought so much stuff…did you know we had like so much stuff and talented people?”

“I don’t know where we keep all this stuff when it ain’t here.” Daryl half joked, but he felt just like Y/N.

“And the movie…that has been incredible.” Y/N looked up from his chest to grin at him. “I never thought I’d be going to the cinema again, it’s been so great. I’m still wrapping my head about everything that I’ve seen and done today.” Daryl nodded, kissing her lips softly, he loved to see her so excited and happy. “I know this is not your thing, so thank you, you know, for everything today. I really had a great day today.”

“Ain’t nothing you gotta thank me.” He honestly had enjoyed the fair too. “I liked it.”

Y/N pecked his lips again before smiling softly at him. “I could have never imagined that I’d get to have this…spend a day like this with my family…” She whispered and Daryl nodded, he couldn’t have imagined either. “Never thought I would get another kid, either…And that I’d get to have you… It was a miracle enough that I found you again, but being with you like this? And having a family with you? That’s more than I could have ever dreamed for.”

Daryl didn’t know what to say, feeling a lump of emotion in his throat, and he swallowed hard. That was how he felt too. Never had he thought he’d met Y/N again, after having his heart broken, after trying his best to forget her, and the fact that he’d met her after the world went to shit was just crazy. Even crazier was that she had wanted to be with him like this, that she had a family with him, that he got to have kids in that crazy world, when he had never thought he would have anything like that in the world before.

Y/N loved him, right like he loved her, he knew it even if he still couldn’t believe it sometimes. Never had he thought he’d have something like that, someone who’d love him like that. He didn’t know how it had happened, or how he had gotten that lucky.

All those years ago, he was sure he’d never love someone like he’d loved Y/N, he knew no one would love him the way Y/N had…turned out he hadn’t needed to, because somehow, he had found her again.

Daryl reached down to hold Y/N’s hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss her knuckles before strocking his thumb over her ring. “Always meant to be, yeah?” He rasped.

“Always and forever.” Y/N nodded, smiling softly at him, leaning to kiss his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we are, the end!
> 
> This is a fic I was really excited about, one that I loved to write and that I really gave it my heart while I wrote it, and one of the fics I’ve enjoyed the most to write, after a while struggling, but has turned out to be the less read and certainly less liked of all my fics, which made me a bit sad, I think that’s the reason why I’ve not been motivated to write and I write very little now. So I’m not going to lie, I’m glad this is over and I won’t keep posting it and seeing flopping each chapter more then the previous one.
> 
> And so I wanted to thank you all who stuck with it, the people who’re always liking, and reblogging, and commenting, because I don’t know what I’d haev done without you all, so massive thank you!!
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter finished! I hope that you all like it, I’m really excited for this series. Daryl seems really confused, right, the poor thing? Aaw… And he’s so unhappy in Alexandria, it always made me sad. This is what I think was going through his mind in there, and I’m glad I have the chance to explore my headcanons here.
> 
> Please, if you liked it, let me know your thoughts! I love to talk to you all. Also let me know if you think two updates a week is too much.
> 
> As always, excuse my english, is not my first language.


End file.
